In this powerful and compassionate episode of Coached Soul, Dr. Steve Hudgins sits down with relationship expert Mr. Jay to unpack one of the most painful experiences couples face: infidelity and the work of rebuilding trust.

Together, they explore the emotional aftermath of betrayal - guilt, shame, confusion, self-doubt - and how these internal battles shape the healing process. Mr. Jay offers practical, actionable tools that anyone can begin using immediately, including creating a Needs Assessment List, setting consistent check-in dates, and learning how to show trustworthiness through sustained action rather than promises.

You’ll discover:

• The difference between guilt and shame (and why it matters)
• How to rebuild self-trust before rebuilding relational trust
• Why structure and consistency are essential for recovery
• How self-love becomes the foundation for emotional repair
• How both partners can create patterns of safety, transparency, and honesty
• Why healing after infidelity is not only possible—but probable with the right approach

Whether you’re at the painful beginning of discovery, struggling with ongoing triggers, or working to rebuild a connection with your partner, this episode offers a roadmap toward clarity, compassion, and genuine transformation.

🎧 Listen now to learn how to rebuild trust from the inside out and turn one of life’s deepest wounds into an opportunity for growth and reconnection

Key Moments:

01:14 "Infidelity: Moral Choice vs Hijack"

05:56 Healing and Rebuilding Trust

08:33 "Trusting Yourself: A Litmus Test"

13:11 Forgiveness Equals Self-Love

16:21 Unspoken Needs in Relationships

19:41 Post-Affair Recovery Essentials

22:32 "Healing Journey Check-In Strategy"

24:51 "Intimacy: Key to Overcoming Addiction"

About the guest :

Mr. Jay spent years helping people and couples navigate tough emotional terrain, even coaching many through panic attacks. He considered himself knowledgeable, though he’d never actually felt a panic attack himself. Everything changed after losing a close friend - one day laughing together over the phone, and just four days later, saying goodbye at the graveside. Only days after that, Mr. Jay woke up gripped by his first-ever panic attack. In that moment, all his expertise felt different; finally, he truly understood what his clients battled each day. This experience deepened his empathy and transformed his work, proving that lived experience brings irreplaceable understanding.

How to connect Mr. Jay :

Website : https://mrjayrelationshipcoach.com/

Facebook : https://www.facebook.com/MrJayRelationshipCoach/

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mrjayrelationshipcoach

Youtube : https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCih0uc3lMndCsm4BhKE8mCw/videos

Instagram : https://www.instagram.com/mrjayrelationshipcoach/

About Coached Soul™:

Coached Soul™ is an empowering podcast hosted by Dr. Steve Hudgins, a mental health professional and author, and co-hosted by Kenya Whaley, a transformational therapeutic coach. With a focus on self-improvement, Dr. Steve covers many topics, including mental health, relationships, education, and more. He fearlessly tackles sensitive subjects like depression and anxiety, creating a safe space for open conversations. They offer valuable insights and lessons through interviews with guests who have overcome significant challenges. Coached Soul is not just a podcast but a supportive community that inspires personal growth and provides the necessary resources for transformation. Their expertise and genuine approach make Coached Soul a must-listen for anyone seeking to improve their life.

For more details, visit https://coachedsoul.com/

In this transformative episode of Coached Soul, Dr. Steve Hudgins, licensed professional counselor, sits down with Mr. Jay, a certified betrayal trauma practitioner, for a raw and eye-opening conversation about healing after betrayal, infidelity, and emotional trauma.

Sharing both personal experience and professional insight, Mr. Jay opens up about his journey from sudden loss and panic attacks to guiding individuals and couples through the painful, confusing aftermath of relational betrayal. Together, he and Dr. Steve explore how childhood trauma, self-lies, and unprocessed wounds influence the way we show up in relationships.

You’ll learn:

• Why betrayal hits deeper when childhood trauma is unresolved
• How self-lies and hidden beliefs shape our reactions and relationships
• What forgiveness really means - and why it starts within
• The difference between accountability and blame
• How to rebuild identity, trust, and emotional safety after infidelity
• Why “broken crayons still color” - and what that means for self-worth

This episode brings clarity to the chaos that betrayal creates, offering compassionate guidance for rebuilding your inner world before rebuilding relationships. Whether you’re navigating infidelity, struggling with forgiveness, or seeking emotional healing, this conversation offers the validation, direction, and hope you need.

🎧 Listen now and begin the journey toward understanding, self-compassion, and true emotional

Key Moments:

05:32 "Impact of Internalized Lies"

06:18 Healing Through Forgiveness Filters

09:50 Vote or Surrender Your Power

13:16 Infidelity and Unhealed Trauma

16:56 "Intuition Ignored, Betrayal Revealed"

25:59 Infidelity's Cycle of Justifications

26:58 Forgiveness and Letting Go

About the guest :

Mr. Jay spent years helping people and couples navigate tough emotional terrain, even coaching many through panic attacks. He considered himself knowledgeable, though he’d never actually felt a panic attack himself. Everything changed after losing a close friend - one day laughing together over the phone, and just four days later, saying goodbye at the graveside. Only days after that, Mr. Jay woke up gripped by his first-ever panic attack. In that moment, all his expertise felt different; finally, he truly understood what his clients battled each day. This experience deepened his empathy and transformed his work, proving that lived experience brings irreplaceable understanding.

How to connect Mr. Jay :

Website : https://mrjayrelationshipcoach.com/

Facebook : https://www.facebook.com/MrJayRelationshipCoach/

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mrjayrelationshipcoach

Youtube : https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCih0uc3lMndCsm4BhKE8mCw/videos

Instagram : https://www.instagram.com/mrjayrelationshipcoach/

About Coached Soul™:

Coached Soul™ is an empowering podcast hosted by Dr. Steve Hudgins, a mental health professional and author, and co-hosted by Kenya Whaley, a transformational therapeutic coach. With a focus on self-improvement, Dr. Steve covers many topics, including mental health, relationships, education, and more. He fearlessly tackles sensitive subjects like depression and anxiety, creating a safe space for open conversations. They offer valuable insights and lessons through interviews with guests who have overcome significant challenges. Coached Soul is not just a podcast but a supportive community that inspires personal growth and provides the necessary resources for transformation. Their expertise and genuine approach make Coached Soul a must-listen for anyone seeking to improve their life.

For more details, visit https://coachedsoul.com/

Get Marla’s new book here - https://www.loveyourbodyloveyourself.com/book

In this deeply uplifting episode of Coached Soul, Dr. Steve Hudgins welcomes back Marla Mervis-Hartmann for a heartfelt conversation on healing your relationship with food, body, and self-worth.

Marla opens up about her personal battle with emotional eating, sharing the shame, silence, and internal struggles that once shaped her life - and the powerful turning points that helped her break free. From therapy and 12-step programs to somatic healing, Reiki, tantra, and group support, she reveals the tools that helped her connect the dots between old wounds, coping mechanisms, and emotional patterns.

Together, Steve and Marla explore:

• Why emotional eating is often rooted in childhood wounds and unmet needs
• How to offer yourself kindness and compassion when shame shows up
• Practical tools to build a healthy, nurturing relationship with food and body
• How spiritual and somatic practices support lasting transformation
• The power of inner child work in releasing negative self-talk
• Why community and group support can accelerate healing

This episode isn’t just about food - it’s about befriending yourself, understanding your emotional triggers, and learning how to show up for yourself with compassion, truth, and courage.

🎧 Listen now for a conversation filled with wisdom, vulnerability, and hope - a reminder that healing is possible, and you never have to walk the journey alone.

Key Moments:

01:08 Healing Through Shared Stories

04:07 "Filling the Hole with Self-Love"

07:51 "Mind Maintenance and Growth"

12:06 "Healing Deep Wounds Within"

15:19 "Becoming Your Own Best Friend"

18:25 "Mind Your Self-Talk"

About the guest :

Marla Mervis-Hartmann is the creator of Love Your Body Love Yourself and a leading voice in women’s body image healing. After overcoming her own struggles with food, self-worth, and body relationship, Marla transformed her journey into a mission to help women honor, trust, and appreciate their bodies.

A TEDx speaker and Best-Selling Author of BE-Friend Yourself, Marla brings decades of training in women’s wellness - including somatic trauma therapy, sexual wellness, postpartum care, Tantra, yoga, and core restoration. Her work has been featured on ABC, NBC, and FOX, and she is widely respected for her grounded, compassionate approach to self-acceptance.

Now based in Maui with her husband and son, Marla works full-time as a coach, speaker, facilitator, and Reiki Master, empowering women to feel at peace in their bodies and to live with confidence, freedom, and joy.

How to connect Marla:

Website: https://www.loveyourbodyloveyourself.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/loveyourbodyloveyourselfalways/

About Coached Soul™:

Coached Soul™ is an empowering podcast hosted by Dr. Steve Hudgins, a mental health professional and author, and co-hosted by Kenya Whaley, a transformational therapeutic coach. With a focus on self-improvement, Dr. Steve covers many topics, including mental health, relationships, education, and more. He fearlessly tackles sensitive subjects like depression and anxiety, creating a safe space for open conversations. They offer valuable insights and lessons through interviews with guests who have overcome significant challenges. Coached Soul is not just a podcast but a supportive community that inspires personal growth and provides the necessary resources for transformation. Their expertise and genuine approach make Coached Soul a must-listen for anyone seeking to improve their life.

For more details, visit https://coachedsoul.com/