There are some stories that force you to rethink everything you believe about addiction. This is one of them.

Terry Devine was five years old when a teacher humiliated him in front of a class — a single moment that buried him in shame so deep he carried it for decades. That shame became the soil everything else grew from: the drinking, the chaos, the emotional collapse, and eventually heroin. Not because he wanted to get high, but because heroin felt like a parent he never had. Warm. Safe. Comforting. Until it wasn’t.

In this conversation, Terry reveals the parts of addiction that almost never make it into public view. The night he pushed a burning poker into his own arm. The moment heroin stopped working and withdrawal hit with a force that made death feel easier. The sickening realisation that he was no longer chasing pleasure — only running from pain. And the brutal truth that there are two kinds of rock bottom: the physical one everyone imagines, and a far more dangerous spiritual one that no one can see coming.

Terry talks openly about how undiagnosed ADHD shaped everything: the impulsivity, the emotional intensity, the constant sense of being wrong in his own skin. He explains why he believes ADHD is one of the most overlooked drivers of early substance use, and how it became the invisible gateway that made heroin feel inevitable.

What Terry describes here is the real machinery of addiction: the obsession that silences logic, the withdrawals that feel like your insides are being torn out, the distortion of identity, and the terrifying moment when a person realises they’ve crossed a line they can’t uncross. He explains how shame becomes a worldview, how trauma rewrites the brain, and how addiction convinces you that you are beyond saving long before anyone else realises you're in trouble.

And then, somehow, he rebuilt a life and you'll find out exactly how he did it. Terry met the love of his life in recovery and learn how they both stayed sober during tragedy, why the 12 steps having only small success rate is false, why and how cross addiction happens, how heroin lead him to alcohol and what it really means to be clean and sober.

More on Terry -

Today, he’s a lecturer in forensic science at the University of the West of England, a clinical addiction hypnotherapist, a recovery coach, and the founder of Devine Recovery Solutions. He’s dedicated to helping others break free from addiction.

Terry is also a committed fundraiser in memory of his son, climbing mountains and volcanoes across the world — from Ecuador to Kilimanjaro. He’s now approaching 13 yrs clean and sober.

Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK - support here: https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e

Thank you to Gavin Sisters for sponsoring this episode!

www.gavinsisters.co.uk

and use promo code SCHOOLOFROCKBOTTOM for 10% off!

Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!

https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1

PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal

Topics -

0:00 Trailer & Intro

4:40 A rock bottom moment

9:30 Shame, not feeling good enough and heroin

14:35 If drugs are the answer what is the question?

15:00 ADHD was the gateway drug

18:10 Alcohol to heroin was fast

21:30 Heroin withdrawal

25:15 Heroin addiction leads to stealing

27:00 Addiction Vs dependency

28:40 Cross addiction & relapse

32:20 Do you have to give up all drugs?

33:20 How did Terry get clean and sober?

37:30 12 Steps has a 5% success rate?

41:30 Staying sober during tragedy

48:30 Embracing vulnerability & courage

50:20 Sponsor

51:20 Can you have a relationship early in recovery?

Follow Terry

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/terry__devine

TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@terry_devine

Follow Oliver

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Apple - https://tinyurl.com/y3n2chk3

#AddictionRecovery

#HeroinSurvivor

#MentalHealthAwareness

What happens when love turns into obsession and connection becomes dependency? In this next quick thought, I revisit one of the most revealing moments from the podcast with Livvie May.

This is an honest conversation about sex and love addiction, fear of abandonment, obsessive attachment, and the emotional patterns that quietly shape who we choose and why. If you have ever lost yourself in someone else or found yourself repeating the same relationships, this clip will feel uncomfortably familiar and deeply important.

We explore how relationships turn into sex and love addiction, how obsession can mask itself as intensity, and why the same relationship pattern can repeat itself for years. The conversation examines the fear of abandonment that drove her choices, the distress of losing her identity within someone else, and the moment she realised she had been shaping relationships around control, shame and fear. It also follows the three-week relationship cycle she found herself trapped in, the grief that reshaped her understanding of connection, and the moment of clarity that arrived when she stepped into sobriety.

Listen or watch THE FULL EPISODE

Spotify - https://bit.ly/4euLvi3

YouTube - https://bit.ly/3XrV0Zj

Apple - https://apple.co/3PajZvQ

About the “THOUGHT” series -

Every other Monday at 5 PM, I’ll bring you a quick ‘thought’—a powerful moment from previous episodes designed to kickstart your week with insight, motivation, and connection. These shorter clips help us stay connected as a community, while every other Tuesday delivers a full, brand-new episode with fresh stories and lessons.

For anyone struggling with these topics Livvie suggests reaching out to:

SLAA - https://slaauk.org

Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e

Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!

https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1

Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal

Follow Livvie

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/maylivvie

Follow Oliver

Instagram - https://tinyurl.com/2vt29sjv

Facebook - https://tinyurl.com/34cwz59r

TikTok - https://tinyurl.com/ujw4vxn9

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X - https://tinyurl.com/3u5mnpds

#loveaddiction #slaa #recovery

Kaitlin never spoke about her addiction because she thought she would lose her kids. So, what happens when alcohol, coke and weed stop being fun and start taking over your life and threaten everything you hold most sacred and precious? What happens when addiction changes from keeping you safe to making you vulnerable to assault?

We explore what life and motherhood really looks like in the haze of drink and drugs - not from a place of judgement but from lived experience. This is about the reality of addiction, the behaviour that comes with it, and the long process of learning who you are without the substances you once relied on. It’s not about perfection, but about honesty — the kind that comes after everything has fallen apart.

We talk about losing ourselves to drinking and drugs culture, the friendships that faded, and the dangerous moments that pushed things too far. We dig into the shame that keeps people stuck — the stories that feel too humiliating to tell, and how sharing them can become the first act of freedom.

This is a conversation about emotional immaturity, about using alcohol and drugs to avoid feeling, and the strange peace that comes when you finally stop running. We break down what a relapse really is the data around around relapse rates and why rehabs don't keep you sober.

You’ll hear what it’s like to rebuild from the ground up: getting your weekends back, repairing relationships, rediscovering ambition and joy, and learning to sit with yourself without needing a drink, spliff or a line to take the edge off. It’s also about empathy — how surviving addiction can give you a deeper understanding of human beings, and why the pain you go through can become the very thing that allows you to help others.

Kaitlin has been sober over three years and proves that asking for help doesn’t make you a bad parent—it makes you a better one. A mum of three, she speaks honestly about the highs, the lows, and everything in between, living one day at a time with love, humility, and the support of her 12-step program.

Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e

Thank you to Gavin Sisters for sponsoring this episode! Visit -

www.gavinsisters.co.uk

and use promo code SCHOOLOFROCKBOTTOM for 10% off!

Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!

https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1

Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal

Topics -

0:00 Trailer & Intro

4:00 Kaitlin's rock bottom moment

5:30 Not safe and feeling shame ALL

7:30 Fear of letting secrets out and losing children

10:30 Anything you put before recovery you will lose?

13:30 Are the words disease and addict a help or a problem?

20:00 Relapse leads to death? ALL

23:00 What is a 'real' alcoholic?

26:00 How drugs and alcohol progressed from teens

30:20 Was your favourite weed, coke, pills or booze? ALL

33:25 Sponsor

34:30 Relapse or blip?

36:45 The gift of desperation

38:15 What is the real relapse rate?

42:00 The first 30 days are awful!

44:00 Finding balance again

45:30 Going sober and losing friends

47:20 Why is The 12 Steps the last thing most people try?

50:45 What about tradition 12?

53:30 When are you ready to get sober?

54:30 Why rehab doesn't keep you sober

55:30 Quitting weed was the hardest for me!

Follow Kaitlin

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/soberasamotherfocused

TikTok -

https://www.tiktok.com/@kaitlinissober

Follow Oliver

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Facebook - https://tinyurl.com/34cwz59r

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Threads - https://tinyurl.com/yk7vdeah

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Please subscribe, follow, like, leave a review and comment!

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#AddictionRecovery

#SoberMum

#AlcoholFree

When you stop drinking, what do you really gain? In this next quick thought, I revisit my first conversation with Issy Hawkins about what happens when alcohol is no longer in control — and how sobriety isn’t just about quitting, but about finally getting to know yourself. Issy opens up about losing weekends to binge drinking, the shame spiral that followed, and the freedom that came with getting sober at just 21. We talk honestly about identity, self-awareness, and how sobriety gave her a deeper understanding of life, relationships, and purpose. You’ll hear how alcohol can rob you of time, relationships, and ambition — and what’s possible when you get all of that back.

Listen or watch THE FULL EPISODE

Spotify - https://bit.ly/3QKAQWg

YouTube - https://bit.ly/3R9GHoz

Apple - https://apple.co/3PajZvQ

About the “THOUGHT” series -

Every other Monday at 5 PM, I’ll bring you a quick ‘thought’—a powerful moment from previous episodes designed to kickstart your week with insight, motivation, and connection. These shorter clips help us stay connected as a community, while every other Tuesday delivers a full, brand-new episode with fresh stories and lessons.

Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e

Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!

https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1

Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal

Follow Issy

Tik Tok - https://www.tiktok.com/@issyhawkins_

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/issyhawkins_

Follow Oliver

Instagram - https://tinyurl.com/2vt29sjv

Facebook - https://tinyurl.com/34cwz59r

TikTok - https://tinyurl.com/ujw4vxn9

LinkedIn - https://tinyurl.com/yuemhnd7

Threads - https://tinyurl.com/yk7vdeah

X - https://tinyurl.com/3u5mnpds

#alcoholic #sobercurious #recovery

For anyone sober curious or identifies more as a binge drinker rather than an alcoholic - this episode is for you! Most people think rock bottom is dramatic — losing everything, waking up in a hospital, or worse. But what if it’s quieter? What if it’s your partner saying, “I can’t do this anymore”? This week, I’m joined by Henry Beercock, who spent 17 years stuck in a cycle of binge drinking, binge eating, smoking, vaping and unhealthy habits before one moment changed everything. In just two years, he’s lost seven stone, gone vegan, and built an inspiring alcohol-free community in Hull called Alco-Hull-Free. He’s now brewing his own alcohol-free beer and proving that life without alcohol isn’t dull — it’s full of purpose, joy and real connection.

In this episode, we explore what binge drinking really looks like in the UK, why so many people quietly hit their limit during lockdown, and the truth about sober curiosity. Henry opens up about the moment he nearly lost his marriage, how he rebuilt his health and identity, and why alcohol-free beer became part of his mission.

We talk about what kind of people go sober, what Henry might have lost if he didn’t stop, why alcohol-free beer matters — and whether it’s safe for people in recovery from alcohol use disorder. We also discuss how long it really takes to feel better after quitting drinking, whether the UK has a national drinking problem, sober holidays, why binge drinkers quit even without a “classic” rock bottom, and how to start if you’re sober curious!

This conversation will change the way you think about drinking, connection, and what it means to really live.

Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e

Thank you to Gavin Sisters for sponsoring this episode! Visit -

www.gavinsisters.co.uk

and use promo code SCHOOLOFROCKBOTTOM for 10% off!

Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!

https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1

Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal

Topics -

0:00 Trailer & Intro

4:45 Henry's rock bottom moment

7:10 Lockdown leads to coke use

10:15 Lockdown or lock in?!

13:00 What actually is binge drinking?

14:30 What kind of people go sober?

18:00 What could have Henry lossed?

20:30 Why Henry loves alcohol free beer

22:30 Is alcohol free beer safe for those with alcohol addiction?

29:30 How did Henry go sober?

33:00 What is Alco-Hull free?

37:15 How long till you feel better when you stop drinking?

38:25 Does The UK have a drinking problem?

41:00 Sober holidays?

44:20 Sponsor

45:20 Why would a binge drinker quit alcohol?

47:30 Quit drinking to help food addiction?

49:40 The food F IT Button

53:15 First steps if you're sober curious

Follow Henry

https://www.instagram.com/henrybeercock

Follow Alcohull Free

https://www.instagram.com/alcohullfree_

Follow Oliver

Instagram - https://tinyurl.com/2vt29sjv

Facebook - https://tinyurl.com/34cwz59r

TikTok - https://tinyurl.com/ujw4vxn9

LinkedIn - https://tinyurl.com/yuemhnd7

Threads - https://tinyurl.com/yk7vdeah

X - https://tinyurl.com/3u5mnpds

Please subscribe, follow, like, leave a review and comment!

YouTube -https://tinyurl.com/4ntx8hm8

Spotify - https://spoti.fi/3Z0Pr1r

Apple - https://tinyurl.com/y3n2chk3

#SobrietyJourney

#Sobercurious

#AlcoholFreeLife

What if the thing that saves your life is something you’ve always hated?

In this next quick thought, I revisit a conversation with Oliver Newton who opens up about years of living with crippling OCD — waking up paralysed by intrusive thoughts, trapped inside his mind, and feeling like life had become impossible. Then one morning, everything changed. A pair of old trainers, a desperate decision to run, and a five-minute moment of silence that saved his life.

This conversation isn’t about miracle cures. It’s about finding your version of recovery — whether that’s running, talking, medication or finally allowing someone in. We talk about how intrusive thoughts can destroy relationships, the role of exercise in mental health, and why personal recovery can be just as valid as the clinical route.

Listen or watch THE FULL EPISODE

Spotify - https://bit.ly/3RaNm1C

YouTube - https://bit.ly/3x4WOg7

Apple - https://apple.co/3PajZvQ

About the “THOUGHT” series -

Every other Monday at 5 PM, I’ll bring you a quick ‘thought’—a powerful moment from previous episodes designed to kickstart your week with insight, motivation, and connection. These shorter clips help us stay connected as a community, while every other Tuesday delivers a full, brand-new episode with fresh stories and lessons.

For anyone struggling, Oly recommends

Hub of Hope (alonside your GP) -

https://hubofhope.co.uk

Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e

Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!

https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1

Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal

Follow Oly -

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/run4yourmind/

LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/oly-newton/

Follow Oliver

Instagram - https://tinyurl.com/2vt29sjv

Facebook - https://tinyurl.com/34cwz59r

TikTok - https://tinyurl.com/ujw4vxn9

LinkedIn - https://tinyurl.com/yuemhnd7

Threads - https://tinyurl.com/yk7vdeah

X - https://tinyurl.com/3u5mnpds

#ocd #depression #anxiety

Can you have rock bottom moments when sober and IN recovery? Today, I sit down with actor and content creator Issy Hawkins, who has been sober for a decade, to talk about burnout, identity, and the side of recovery no one likes to admit. We explore what it’s really like being diagnosed as an adult with ADHD in sobriety, the truth behind the “addict voice,” and why even years into recovery, the mind can still turn against you.

Issy first joined the podcast in episode 33, sharing her journey through alcoholism, rehab and how she got sober at 21, but this episode goes further into what happens when recovery itself feels overwhelming.

In this conversation, we explore into what it means to confront the “addict voice,” how ADHD interacts with addiction, and the ways that burnout and self-judgment can sneak into recovery. Issy shares how she stepped back from everything to reconnect with herself, exploring meditation, self-reflection, and facing long-buried shame. We discuss the complex interplay of identity, impulse control, and emotional regulation, and why sobriety doesn’t automatically solve the deeper challenges of the mind.

This episode is for anyone in recovery, whether you’re new or have been sober for years, and for anyone interested in the human experience of coping with trauma, mental health, and the constant negotiation between external achievement and internal wellbeing. It is honest, reflective, and a rare insight into the real work that continues long after alcohol is gone. The twist is that through this new dark period came an unexpected present - a spiritual awakening.

More on Issy -

Issy Hawkins is an actor and content creator with over 150,000 followers on social media.

After graduating drama school into the pandemic in 2020, Issy decided to focus on her advocacy work as a means of encouraging other young people with addiction issues to ask for help, taking to social media to share her experience and she hasn’t looked back since. Issy navigated nearly her entire 20's sober after a stint in rehab at age 21 and is passionate about dismantling the stigma. She is also the child of a recovering alcoholic.

Issy is an Ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and most recently won The National Diversity Awards for the category Role Model for Age.

Oliver & Issy are ambassadors for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e

Thank you to Gavin Sisters for sponsoring this episode! Visit -

www.gavinsisters.co.uk

and use promo code SCHOOLOFROCKBOTTOM for 10% off!

Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!

https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1

Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal

Topics -

0:00 Trailer & Intro

5:45 Issy's sober rock bottom moment

11:45 Is the "addict voice" you?!

14:30 Is severe addiction different?

19:30 What is the addict voice?

21:30 Is it all about survival and self love?

27:45 Recovery tools in tough moments

30:45 Replacing alcohol with other unhealthy things

33:15 Fear of abandonment?

34:45 ADHD

39:00 Dropping the ADHD mask

39:45 WhatsApp & DM's!

42:45 ADHD, dopamine and addiction

45:00 Low impulse control and no long term consequences

45:45 Emotional dysregulation

47:39 Sponsor

48:40 ADHD diagnosis

52:45 A spiritual awakening during the rock bottom?

Follow Issy

Tik Tok - https://www.tiktok.com/@issyhawkins_

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/issyhawkins_

Follow Oliver

Instagram - https://tinyurl.com/2vt29sjv

Facebook - https://tinyurl.com/34cwz59r

TikTok - https://tinyurl.com/ujw4vxn9

LinkedIn - https://tinyurl.com/yuemhnd7

Threads - https://tinyurl.com/yk7vdeah

X - https://tinyurl.com/3u5mnpds

Please subscribe, follow, like, leave a review and comment!

YouTube - https://tinyurl.com/bdhbjswz

Spotify - https://spoti.fi/3Z0Pr1r

Apple - https://tinyurl.com/y3n2chk3

#RecoveryPodcast #ADHDandAddiction #alcoholrecovery

What if loneliness wasn’t just an emotion — but a symptom of something deeper? In this next quick thought, I revisit a conversation with Darren - a powerful and painfully honest moment about loneliness, love addiction, and why so many of us confuse validation with connection. This clip explores what it really means to feel lonely, even when surrounded by people, and how learning to sit with that feeling — instead of running from it — can become one of the most healing acts of self-awareness.

We talk about the HALT method — hungry, angry, lonely, tired — and why recognising these emotional triggers can change the way we respond to pain. Loneliness, as you’ll hear, isn’t just about being alone. It’s about the ache of disconnection, the search for validation, and the quiet pull of old patterns that can keep us trapped. Love addiction often hides in plain sight, disguised as romance, attachment, or the pursuit of affection. But behind it can lie the same cycle of craving and withdrawal that drives any addiction.

This episode asks a difficult but essential question — what happens when we stop trying to fill the void and simply face it? Sometimes, being alone is less painful than staying in something that keeps us small. Sometimes, sitting with discomfort is where real recovery begins.

Listen or watch THE FULL EPISODE

Spotify - https://bit.ly/3QsOSf5

YouTube - https://bit.ly/4a3ajKK

Apple - https://apple.co/3PajZvQ

About the “THOUGHT” series -

Every other Monday at 5 PM, I’ll bring you a quick ‘thought’—a powerful moment from previous episodes designed to kickstart your week with insight, motivation, and connection. These shorter clips help us stay connected as a community, while every other Tuesday delivers a full, brand-new episode with fresh stories and lessons.

Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e

Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!

https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1

Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal

Follow Darren -

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/creativedazzle

Podcast - https://theatreaudiencepodcast.com/

Follow Oliver

Instagram - https://tinyurl.com/2vt29sjv

Facebook - https://tinyurl.com/34cwz59r

TikTok - https://tinyurl.com/ujw4vxn9

LinkedIn - https://tinyurl.com/yuemhnd7

Threads - https://tinyurl.com/yk7vdeah

X - https://tinyurl.com/3u5mnpds

#loveaddiction #slaa #recovery