If you think you’re in control of your drinking, listen to this. Today I sit down with Leanne Bayliss, who went from cocaine and alcohol addiction to raising a disabled child alone while rebuilding her life sober. This is not a journey about one period of struggle. It’s about what happens when you hit bottom repeatedly, and the moment you realise it’s live or die.

Leanne speaks about the reality of addiction, from early coping mechanisms like bulimia to a life dominated by alcohol, cocaine and dependency on anything that could either elevate or sedate her mind. Diagnosed later in life with ADHD, she explains how substances became both escape and survival, creating a cycle that felt impossible to break. What emerges is not a neat narrative, but a deeply human one—messy, confronting and recognisable.

At the centre of this episode is a moment that changes everything. An attempt on her life that becomes the turning point. Not because everything suddenly gets better, but because it forces a decision. Stay or go. Live or die. From that point, recovery begins...not as a single choice, but as a daily commitment.

The conversation moves into territory many avoid. Motherhood in addiction. Raising a child through over 100 medical procedures while battling alcohol dependence. The guilt, the denial, the rationalisation, and the quiet moments no one sees. Leanne doesn’t sanitise any of it. She articulates something many people feel but rarely admit: the internal conflict between love for your child and the pull of addiction.

There’s also a clear, grounded discussion about sobriety itself. Labels like “alcoholic”, the role of trauma, and the uncomfortable truth that there is no single path to recovery. Both Oliver and Leanne challenge rigid thinking in the recovery space, making it clear that what matters is not how you get sober, but that you do.

They explore the neurological side too. ADHD, dopamine regulation, and why substances like alcohol and cocaine can feel like solutions rather than problems—until they aren’t. It’s a nuanced look at addiction that goes beyond willpower and into wiring, environment and lived experience.

They talk about risk. The idea that you might have another drink in you, but not another recovery.

This isn’t a journey wrapped in clichés or easy answers. It’s about responsibility, awareness, and doing the work - especially when no one is watching.

Leanne is the author of the upcoming books From Cocaine to Rice Cakes and Single Mom Syndrome, where she shares unfiltered truths about sobriety, motherhood, and choosing yourself. Leanne is 5 years clean and sober.

Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK, support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e

Sponsor -

www.gavinsisters.co.uk promo code SCHOOLOFROCKBOTTOM for 10% off!

Support the podcast -

https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1

https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal

Topics -

0:00 Trailer & Intro

2:55 A rock bottom moment

4:25 Navigating multiple challenges

6:25 Addiction would have killed me

8:40 Using everything to feel better

12:40 Why alcohol stopped bulimia

15:15 Why Leanne wanted to use drugs and alcohol

16:45 Gaining insight along the bumpy road to recovery

18:55 Wanting to destroy rather than fix

20:15 Alcoholic at 16?

23:55 Use recovery labels to empower you!

26:40 Are you really powerless?

28:25 Be careful where you get your advice

30:55 Cocaine, alcohol & ADHD

35:10 Being a sober mum is better

39:40 We love taking hostages

41:10 Being triggered by morning drinking

43:10 Can I control my drinking now?

45:30 Helping those who are depressed

50:40 How Leanne got clean and sober

53:55 Why recovery is different for everyone

57:55 Why helping others helps you

59:55 From cocaine to rice cakes

Follow Leanne

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/soberlittlemotherred

Follow Oliver

https://linktr.ee/olivermason

WATCH on YouTube - https://tinyurl.com/32r6ppec

Apple - https://tinyurl.com/y3n2chk3

#AddictionRecovery

#AlcoholRecovery

#RecoveryPodcast

Addiction doesn’t care what the substance is.

In this next quick thought, I revisit a conversation with Gab Stone, as we strip back the illusion that gambling is somehow different to alcohol or drugs. What you’ll hear might challenge everything you think you know. The same patterns, the same brain chemistry, the same spiral. If you’ve ever told yourself “this isn’t as bad” or “I can control it,” this conversation will hit hard. Because underneath it all, addiction is addiction—and the cost is always the same.

We explore the striking parallels between gambling addiction and substance addiction, breaking down the myth that behavioural addictions are somehow less serious. From the early days of harmless fun to the slow creep into obsession, the conversation reveals how quickly things escalate—and how difficult it becomes to step back. The chase to break even, the illusion of control, and the belief that one more hit, one more bet, might fix everything.

There’s a raw honesty here about the mental gymnastics addicts perform. The idea that the problem isn’t the behaviour itself, but the losses. The belief that a “miracle” is just one more gamble away. And the terrifying moment when logic disappears, even in the face of clear consequences. Whether it’s sitting in a clinic or hearing a doctor’s warning, the pull to go back remains just as strong.

We also touch on the neuroscience—dopamine, anticipation, and why gambling can be even more addictive than substances. The unpredictability, the constant cycle of hope and loss, and how the brain becomes wired to chase both. It’s not just about winning. In many cases, it’s the losing that hooks you deeper.

Listen or watch THE FULL EPISODE

YouTube - https://bit.ly/4fbqqZe

Spotify - https://bit.ly/41yG9OJ

Apple - https://apple.co/3PajZvQ

About the “THOUGHT” series -

Every other Monday at 5 PM, I’ll bring you a quick ‘thought’—a powerful moment from previous episodes designed to kickstart your week with insight, motivation, and connection. These shorter clips help us stay connected as a community, while every other Tuesday delivers a full, brand-new episode with fresh stories and lessons.

For further support Gab recommends the following -

National Problem Gambling Clinic -

https://www.cnwl.nhs.uk/services/addictions/national-gambling-clinic

GamCare -

https://www.gamcare.org.uk

Oliver is an ambassadors for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e

Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!

https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1

Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal

Follow Gab

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/gabstone9

Follow Oliver

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Facebook - https://tinyurl.com/34cwz59r

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#GamblingRecovery #BreakingTheStigma #AddictionAwareness

What if addiction isn’t really about drugs - but about the feeling that you never truly belonged anywhere? Today, I sit down with Kyle Hall, whose story moves from growing up in an alcoholic home to crystal meth addiction, psychosis, and eight years of relapse before finally finding a way out.

Kyle describes being a kid who didn’t fit in anywhere—not with the popular crowd, not even with the “weird kids.” That quiet disconnection, and the inability to express who he really was, became the foundation for everything that followed.

What starts as food, pornography, and alcohol slowly escalates into something far darker, as he searches for identity, confidence, and escape in all the wrong places.

We break down the progression most people never see. How drinking turns into drugs. How curiosity becomes dependency. And how, step by step, he ends up in a world of chemsex, isolation, and eventually injecting crystal meth—not as one reckless decision, but as a series of small ones that compound over time.

From there, things unravel fast. Days without sleep. Paranoia. Hallucinations. A complete break from reality where he believes people are coming to kill him. And even then, the instinct is still the same—to drink, to use, to escape.

But even at rock bottom, there are moments that cut through.

One of them happens in an Uber, when a driver says something he never forgets: “You never finish alcohol. Alcohol finishes you.”

Kyle speaks openly about eight years of trying to get sober and failing, and what finally changed when it stuck. Not a new method. Not a new environment. But a moment of complete surrender—and a decision to actually live the recovery he’d been around for years.

We also explore the shift into spirituality. From rejecting faith completely to finding Jesus that gave him forgiveness, direction, and a way to rebuild.

By the end, this isn’t a clean redemption story. It’s something more honest. A life rebuilt from chaos—now channelled into The Spiritual Pharmacy & Late Night Sober Cafe, sober community spaces designed to give people what he never had: connection, purpose, and somewhere to belong.

Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e

Thank you to Gavin Sisters for sponsoring this episode! Visit -

www.gavinsisters.co.uk

and use promo code SCHOOLOFROCKBOTTOM for 10% off!

Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!

https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1

Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal

Topics -

0:00 Trailer & Intro

3:00 A rock bottom moment that lasted months

6:45 A drug induced psychosis

16:45 Using food and cigarettes before drugs

20:20 Porn obsession

22:30 Falling in love with alcohol

24:45 Struggling with sexuality

27:00 From alcohol to injecting crystal meth

32:20 Breaking the relapse cycle

36:45 Doing The 12 Steps

39:15 Finding a spiritual solution?

42:15 Kyle's sober events & spaces

Follow Kyle

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/kylehallartist

https://www.instagram.com/spiritualpharma

Buy tickets

https://www.tickettailor.com/events/theenergyxchangecic

Follow Oliver

Instagram - https://tinyurl.com/2vt29sjv

Facebook - https://tinyurl.com/34cwz59r

TikTok - https://tinyurl.com/ujw4vxn9

LinkedIn - https://tinyurl.com/yuemhnd7

Threads - https://tinyurl.com/yk7vdeah

X - https://tinyurl.com/3u5mnpds

Please subscribe, follow, like, leave a review and comment!

YouTube - https://youtu.be/3XD8otGW9pM

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Apple - https://tinyurl.com/y3n2chk3

#AddictionRecovery

#RockBottom

#SobrietyJourney