There are some stories that force you to rethink everything you believe about addiction. This is one of them.

Terry Devine was five years old when a teacher humiliated him in front of a class — a single moment that buried him in shame so deep he carried it for decades. That shame became the soil everything else grew from: the drinking, the chaos, the emotional collapse, and eventually heroin. Not because he wanted to get high, but because heroin felt like a parent he never had. Warm. Safe. Comforting. Until it wasn’t.

In this conversation, Terry reveals the parts of addiction that almost never make it into public view. The night he pushed a burning poker into his own arm. The moment heroin stopped working and withdrawal hit with a force that made death feel easier. The sickening realisation that he was no longer chasing pleasure — only running from pain. And the brutal truth that there are two kinds of rock bottom: the physical one everyone imagines, and a far more dangerous spiritual one that no one can see coming.

Terry talks openly about how undiagnosed ADHD shaped everything: the impulsivity, the emotional intensity, the constant sense of being wrong in his own skin. He explains why he believes ADHD is one of the most overlooked drivers of early substance use, and how it became the invisible gateway that made heroin feel inevitable.

What Terry describes here is the real machinery of addiction: the obsession that silences logic, the withdrawals that feel like your insides are being torn out, the distortion of identity, and the terrifying moment when a person realises they’ve crossed a line they can’t uncross. He explains how shame becomes a worldview, how trauma rewrites the brain, and how addiction convinces you that you are beyond saving long before anyone else realises you're in trouble.

And then, somehow, he rebuilt a life and you'll find out exactly how he did it. Terry met the love of his life in recovery and learn how they both stayed sober during tragedy, why the 12 steps having only small success rate is false, why and how cross addiction happens, how heroin lead him to alcohol and what it really means to be clean and sober.

More on Terry -

Today, he’s a lecturer in forensic science at the University of the West of England, a clinical addiction hypnotherapist, a recovery coach, and the founder of Devine Recovery Solutions. He’s dedicated to helping others break free from addiction.

Terry is also a committed fundraiser in memory of his son, climbing mountains and volcanoes across the world — from Ecuador to Kilimanjaro. He’s now approaching 13 yrs clean and sober.

Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK - support here: https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e

Thank you to Gavin Sisters for sponsoring this episode!

www.gavinsisters.co.uk

and use promo code SCHOOLOFROCKBOTTOM for 10% off!

Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!

https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1

PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal

Topics -

0:00 Trailer & Intro

4:40 A rock bottom moment

9:30 Shame, not feeling good enough and heroin

14:35 If drugs are the answer what is the question?

15:00 ADHD was the gateway drug

18:10 Alcohol to heroin was fast

21:30 Heroin withdrawal

25:15 Heroin addiction leads to stealing

27:00 Addiction Vs dependency

28:40 Cross addiction & relapse

32:20 Do you have to give up all drugs?

33:20 How did Terry get clean and sober?

37:30 12 Steps has a 5% success rate?

41:30 Staying sober during tragedy

48:30 Embracing vulnerability & courage

50:20 Sponsor

51:20 Can you have a relationship early in recovery?

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What happens when love turns into obsession and connection becomes dependency? In this next quick thought, I revisit one of the most revealing moments from the podcast with Livvie May.

This is an honest conversation about sex and love addiction, fear of abandonment, obsessive attachment, and the emotional patterns that quietly shape who we choose and why. If you have ever lost yourself in someone else or found yourself repeating the same relationships, this clip will feel uncomfortably familiar and deeply important.

We explore how relationships turn into sex and love addiction, how obsession can mask itself as intensity, and why the same relationship pattern can repeat itself for years. The conversation examines the fear of abandonment that drove her choices, the distress of losing her identity within someone else, and the moment she realised she had been shaping relationships around control, shame and fear. It also follows the three-week relationship cycle she found herself trapped in, the grief that reshaped her understanding of connection, and the moment of clarity that arrived when she stepped into sobriety.

Listen or watch THE FULL EPISODE

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About the “THOUGHT” series -

Every other Monday at 5 PM, I’ll bring you a quick ‘thought’—a powerful moment from previous episodes designed to kickstart your week with insight, motivation, and connection. These shorter clips help us stay connected as a community, while every other Tuesday delivers a full, brand-new episode with fresh stories and lessons.

For anyone struggling with these topics Livvie suggests reaching out to:

SLAA - https://slaauk.org

Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e

Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!

https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1

Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal

Follow Livvie

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#loveaddiction #slaa #recovery

Kaitlin never spoke about her addiction because she thought she would lose her kids. So, what happens when alcohol, coke and weed stop being fun and start taking over your life and threaten everything you hold most sacred and precious? What happens when addiction changes from keeping you safe to making you vulnerable to assault?

We explore what life and motherhood really looks like in the haze of drink and drugs - not from a place of judgement but from lived experience. This is about the reality of addiction, the behaviour that comes with it, and the long process of learning who you are without the substances you once relied on. It’s not about perfection, but about honesty — the kind that comes after everything has fallen apart.

We talk about losing ourselves to drinking and drugs culture, the friendships that faded, and the dangerous moments that pushed things too far. We dig into the shame that keeps people stuck — the stories that feel too humiliating to tell, and how sharing them can become the first act of freedom.

This is a conversation about emotional immaturity, about using alcohol and drugs to avoid feeling, and the strange peace that comes when you finally stop running. We break down what a relapse really is the data around around relapse rates and why rehabs don't keep you sober.

You’ll hear what it’s like to rebuild from the ground up: getting your weekends back, repairing relationships, rediscovering ambition and joy, and learning to sit with yourself without needing a drink, spliff or a line to take the edge off. It’s also about empathy — how surviving addiction can give you a deeper understanding of human beings, and why the pain you go through can become the very thing that allows you to help others.

Kaitlin has been sober over three years and proves that asking for help doesn’t make you a bad parent—it makes you a better one. A mum of three, she speaks honestly about the highs, the lows, and everything in between, living one day at a time with love, humility, and the support of her 12-step program.

Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e

Thank you to Gavin Sisters for sponsoring this episode! Visit -

www.gavinsisters.co.uk

and use promo code SCHOOLOFROCKBOTTOM for 10% off!

Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!

https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1

Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal

Topics -

0:00 Trailer & Intro

4:00 Kaitlin's rock bottom moment

5:30 Not safe and feeling shame ALL

7:30 Fear of letting secrets out and losing children

10:30 Anything you put before recovery you will lose?

13:30 Are the words disease and addict a help or a problem?

20:00 Relapse leads to death? ALL

23:00 What is a 'real' alcoholic?

26:00 How drugs and alcohol progressed from teens

30:20 Was your favourite weed, coke, pills or booze? ALL

33:25 Sponsor

34:30 Relapse or blip?

36:45 The gift of desperation

38:15 What is the real relapse rate?

42:00 The first 30 days are awful!

44:00 Finding balance again

45:30 Going sober and losing friends

47:20 Why is The 12 Steps the last thing most people try?

50:45 What about tradition 12?

53:30 When are you ready to get sober?

54:30 Why rehab doesn't keep you sober

55:30 Quitting weed was the hardest for me!

Follow Kaitlin

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