Dan and Maureen are back! Well, to SaysWhovia. Maureen is in NYC. Dan is dragging a metal house across America and is a little nervous about it. Obviously, this week we’re going to talk about Which Senators Are Dead—a creepy new game that’s more challenging than it appears.

We missed so many things on this year’s SHOES card.

Come over here, SaysWhovia. Prove you’re alive.

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The Fourth of July, and America's 250th birthday, is this week and the vibes are off.

But it's OK because a good old fashioned state fair has set up in the nation's capital and it's going just great.

Plus: pretty soon someone's launching nearly a million firework shells.

Nothing can stop us now.

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Well, obviously Dan and Maureen are going to talk about the reflecting pool. Obviously. But also! RFK has pockets full of sauerkraut, we tried to invade Greenland for Red Lobster, and Maureen spills on a secret she’s been keeping for MONTHS!

Just put your suit on, SaysWhovia. And maybe some protective gear. We’re going swimming.

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What’s that feeling in the air? It’s patriotism! We’re celebrating 250 years of whatever this is the way our wacky founding fathers would have wanted—turning the reflecting pool green, wrapping the Kennedy Center in a tarp, and having a cage match on the White House lawn. But it’s not even our nation’s birthday yet! It’s just a Big Boy’s Birthday and we’re getting some fun in early to celebrate our favorite guy. Algae, coverups, and blood spit. Hooray!

To celebrate at home, Maureen cleaned some fans and made soup. She’s smiling at Dan, which is making Dan nervous. There is no need to be nervous, Dan. Maureen is just happy to be here at such a wonderful time.

Get your party hats on, SaysWhovia. Celebrations are mandatory.

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Dan and Maureen are back after a brief and unexpected hiatus. Maureen has many things to tell Dan—so many adventures in England. This includes the new SaysWhovia Manor. Let’s ignore the news for a minute and hear about our future in the past, when we all get really into falconry and magick.

Grab your staff, SaysWhovia. We’re going to the Misty Mountain.

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Hey SaysWhovia, there's a big vat of chemicals threatening to blow, a Ultimate Fighting Championships ring getting built at the White House, and DoJo's getting married. So clearly: It's our time.

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Is it all feeling like a lot, SaysWhovia? That’s because it is. The UK doesn’t know who’s in charge. Voting rights have been jettisoned back to Jim Crow times. Trump is driving around in the reflecting pool. New virus just dropped. But this is a copying strategy! And those racist Confederate lovers are loser scum. Keep trying. Keep with your friends. Listen to the new Rebel Spirit! Organize your beans! Get some bins!

Get in the helicopter, SaysWhovia. We’re going to steal a statue.

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There was nothing to talk about this week. Nothing at all. So Dan built a machine. A machine to write a book. On a week where nothing happened. You get it.

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