This week, the podcast episodes name is Finally, Finally Progress this comes after surgery May 3, 2022 to address decades long issue. Herein lies the challenge. How do you know when your body's having an issue if your body is functioning pretty much the way that it has for a very long time? It can be really difficult to notice a gradual decline and your stamina and your endurance and your general energy levels. And so you know, I had the data on my body and it got to the point where it was crippling me. I basically couldn't do much beyond work my day at work and collapse either in bed or on the sofa and that was it. That was my life. That was my life pretty much for the past five, six years. But it had also happened around the time that I had been in a major car accident. And so the combination of those two things literally just stole my life. I did my best to try and do the things that I had to do. 
Take care of my children, work a full-time job single parent. All of the usual things we see as the life of an average American woman it is really really difficult to be a single parent even when you have the help of the other parent it's also super, super helpful to have family close by to help you and sometimes you need more help than you could have possibly imagined. And sometimes in the midst of all of that insanity. You're fighting daily fighting absolutely every thing in your life. 
But today's episode as I'm being covered by mosquitoes is about progress. And over the past, specifically two to three weeks. I have seen amazing things in myself. And no I may get a little emotional again about that because I thought I was hitting the downside of my life. I'm somewhat young to be thinking in that way but I really really wondered if all I had left was sitting on a sofa, couch, or laying in bed was going to be my life. What if I got to a point where I could no longer work? All of those things get are going through your head when you have a very chronic and debilitating issue and when you have two of them. It just it's horrendous. It drains you. It plays with your mind. 
All of a sudden I'm going from almost a decade of sitting on my ass to being able to start thinking about having a life again. I went from one day depending on the level of activity wiping me out for one to two weeks. It would take me to recover from a really big day
I wondered how long I had left you know it you really just start doubting also all sorts of things right? 
So it's been a complete 180, just...it's blowing my mind.
It's nuts when I stop and think about it. Because I have the potential again to do things. I have the potential again to live big dreams and not wonder if I'm gonna have to settle for just you know being stuck somewhere where I can't ever leave and I can't ever go and do the things that I want to do. It's huge. It is just phenomenally huge.  And I wasn't able to be the kind of person that I wanted to be in a relationship with someone else.
So progress. Goodness. I'm just blown away. And I'm super thankful and I'm continuing on my path of healing my inner stuff.
I had an excellent session today with my one friend and I found one of those big things. One of those routes that stuck down there in the dirt that you've kind of forgotten was one of the originating issues. One of the things that kind of defined how you viewed yourself from that little person from that point in time from that snapshot of who someone else defined you as when you were a small child unfairly with no concept yourself of these things that are being put upon you. We spend the rest of our lives trying to like unlearn these things right. Unlearn who the world told us who we were, I don't know who said that quote. So I'm not claiming it but I found a big piece today. And I realized that within that I found a huge nugget of my power. A huge nugget of my worth, my value today.