Well, it starts well... Dr Dunn is in with the reduction of your hole. Sorry, the whole of your ladies’ bits. And Thom was right last episode to ask the question that’s now on everyone’s lips. (Pun very much intended.)

Then on to the big moral dilemmas of our time. Is it acceptable to eat last night’s curry for breakfast? Is it acceptable to have a favourite child, as long as you keep it firmly inside your own head? And Dunn has a few more where those came from.

Our Fact of the Week is a gloriously daft tradition that’s been going for 421 years, just in case Guy has a cousin.

Then there’s the great fridge mystery. We open the door and have no idea why we’re there, even though we decided what we wanted about 40 seconds ago. We take something out, put it back, then go looking for it again. Is it the hormones, or is it early-onset dementia? Every woman of a certain age has asked herself that at least once. Brain fog and farts. Truly the gifts that keep on giving.

And Boils My Piss is back after a little break! This week it’s self-service tills and their sensitive bloody bagging areas. Ask one too many questions and any perimenopausal woman will be tempted (wearing her crossbody bag ) to take a swing with her free hands at the screen

So much to cover, and uncover. Listen wherever you get your podcasts, and don’t forget to follow us on TikTok, Insta, and Ragebook if you really must. 🎙️

This week on the pod 🎙️ Slimy effluent

First things first, we’ve stuck some stickers up in Shag Manor so you lot stop thinking we record in a sauna.

We’re going brown and beige. Well, we’re not, but social media insists it’s the trend, so we’re talking about it anyway. Plus the great mystery of why every Gen X woman owns a crossbody bag. Spoiler: hands-free is a lifestyle choice, and there’s a really good reason - you’re welcome

Dunn shares a story she heard from Thom in a message, and she pushes it right to the max. If someone gipping makes you laugh, you’ll be in tears. If you’ve got a weak stomach, strap in.

A bald monk - we ask the question none of us dared put to our GP. Where have the orgasms gone? You know, the ones that used to reach places in your twenties. It’s a genuine medical query, and we want answers. Is it because things shrink as we get older – does it all shrink?

We also go there on blozzers and the achy face that follows. We couldn’t breathe. Neither will you.

Then something wafts up from the undercarriage and takes a U turn. Honestly, just listen to the chat that Dunn had with CHAT!

And Soo much more to listen to. To finish, what we’re watching on telly and whether it’s worth your evening.

This is the stuff you never talked about with your mum or your mates, said out loud by women who get it. Peri, post, or just plain curious, pull up a chair.

Catch the best podcast clips on TikTok and Insta 📲

This week's anagram: Floppy Shit Bag. Good luck with that.

This episode is a public service for anyone whose partner is slowly morphing into an unreasonable old person. We're gently coaxing ours back from the brink before they topple off the wall of panic over absolutely nothing and become fully fledged Blind Bellends.

Elsewhere, we discuss a waxing offer we're not convinced we want, and Dunn has a clear out down below and reports back on feeling considerably lighter for it. We also confirm that going white round the edges is perfectly normal, upstairs and downstairs.

We run through all the things we've never done or been part of (turns out we're quite square), and ask how your house knows you're desperate for the loo and makes the key take forever. You'll also get some new names for your bum hole (you're welcome) and the coded phrases people used to whisper when your petticoat was showing.

Then it's barrel pants, and why the people not wearing them have far more opinions than the people who are. Thom suggests we all go shopping together, which would be a disaster but excellent content. The GRWM videos, though, can stay in the bin. We don't care.

We also decode [Grear Widl], which turns out to be the same old thing with a shiny new name, and admit that a cock and balls graffitied on a wall is still funny in our 50s.

Strap in. It's like having your mates round for a glass of wine, only nobody has to hoover first.

We were just about to hit record when we got a call to whizz round to a bus stop with a first aid kit. We also took a sanitary towel fr any bleeds - Pro you know, and you've now got yourself an episode. We're having a go at Amazon for dropping the second series of Ride or Die, watch out on our socials. 'Pissed as a fart' is this week's words of the week, and Thom goes down the historical rabbit hole to work out how we got from pissed as a newt to pissed as a fart. Who knew. And can a fart even get pissed? We've laughed properly this week; who knew there were other words for the sleep in your eyes! Fairy... what! What did we do before WhatsApp? Would we have texted the same message to all our mates individually? No. No we would not.

Some stories from Dunn about her early years working as a carer. No, and also no.

We're on fire with ideas this week too, from just keep bits and bobs to how long you keep a key when you've no idea what it's for. We could be in Break a Take, brainwaves segment!

We look at words for people who watch things for fun, from gongoozler (watching boats on a canal) to our own invention, barrier bell end. Dunn pushes Thom to full gip level, arms up, hands over eyes and ears, the works. We chat TV shows and people's phone accessories are all too much Strap in

We kick off with those toilet roll holders that feed you the tissue from the middle. Bliss when they work. Absolute crisis when they don't. Autumn and the aesthetic purchasing of shite - NOPE

Dunn arrives with the revelation that’s pleasing to a menopausal woman; it surprisingly costs very little! Conversations on a girls' weekend away, and the frank comparison of body bits and how, at this stage of life, we're genuinely not arsed!

There's a brand new segment too. FACT OF THE WEEK. Who knew.

A few more pointless Break A Take brainwaves, and we've decided Marilyn needs to get back to looking out of that window.

WIDL - CRASHOUT, and it's not what you think. Nothing to do with being knackered on a comfy chair

What Gets On Ya Tits returns with a fair few that'll land uncomfortably close to home. Simple things, yet deeply annoying.

And Harry has released. Nothing whatsoever to do with the hamster Turns out a dog can reach levels of joy rolling in a dead frog!

Out now, wherever you get your podcasts. Don't miss us

We are absolutely fed up of this hot weather, and even more fed up of sweaty tits. We're calling it now: it should be illegal to wear a bra in anything over 28 degrees. And spare a thought for the poor G-cup ladies, they're basically running a personal sauna under without the need for coals.

This week's anagram is "Fungal Membrane." See what words you can make from the letters, we managed "Flambe Gunman Ere," so the bar is not high.

Apparently kids now think we're from the 1900s. Let us be clear, there are no bustles and petticoats going on here. No pop socks either, although Thom does have a story about how one of hers somehow ending up on another friend's leg, along with an eyelash and some road signs. It's a true story. Get stuck in.

We're both baffled by M&S and their new marketing campaign to capture the market, ours would fall straight through the gap! But good on you!

And speaking of M&S, Thom is not happy with them. If they don't bring back their Greek Yoghurt with Vanilla soon, she may go full Ann Robinson. Oh, wait, she's already done that. She can't help it, she's on keto and it's hot, it's a dangerous combination.

Dr Dunn has a fact for you, and she's still recovering from the shame of showing her pants to a 24-year-old on a job.

We get into some great telly, the people we're loving on Instagram, and the big questions: are we too old for - role play, and are we allowed to fancy Harry Styles?

Plus a little something on our wild swim. All four of us. watch out for the pics

Ears open, headphones on.

This week, Dunn is discovering the joys of dog ownership, and no, it's not all fetch and cuddles. It's flies. So many flies. There's even a dance involved.

Old Mrs Hackett does something absolutely diabolical in a supermarket car park. For the record, she is NOT a thief.

Then the big question: are we too old for this now and are we too old to pretend we like certain things? Take the tracksuit. There's no way on earth we're going back to a proper Scouse tracky, and forward rolls and cart wheels? Absolute agony. One word: carpal tunnel.

We're not here for tiny portions or cheap wine. Well, Dunn is. But that depends on the taste.

We're done with trending clothes and food fads, chicken anything that costs a wing and a leg, and deep-fried nonsense that costs a fortune. NO

We no longer run for a bus. And we absolutely refuse to be served food on a plank or a slate. It's a plate. It's always been a plate.

We get into the fine art of the full orgasm, it just needs a breather these days. We even share the trick. Here's a clue: give it five minutes in between.

We can't be friends with people who don't care about food. We've tried. We can't do it. We're both foodies, and that's a dealbreaker, sorry.

Sometimes you just want a dirty sausage sandwich. So we're asking, what's your perfect brekkie? Thom will tell you what she would do with a Richmond and a pigeon!

Dunn has found some magic pants that cool your foof down, the Clam Cooler 3000. pube snag! NO

Who else remembers Betterware magazines and all the useless tat your parents bought every single month?

And if you're older and you pull a Judgey McJudge Face, well, you have to expect a retort. It's not always the young ones lacking respect, funnily enough. It's really not.

Plus all the things we're currently watching, including a deep dive into Greek mythology - NO Ears at the ready

We're in, and so are you if you're reading this.

From squeezing your partner's butt to release stress, to bunions helpfully pointed out by your mother, to what women actually want over 50, quiet restaurants please, and no, don't expect us to do that, it's not happening.

Learn a few interesting facts from Dunn, including how carrying your bits in your bra like it's a trendy crossbody is somehow acceptable now. It isn't.

Dunn's son and his mates have coined a genuinely brilliant new phrase for a vagina, and, while we're asking questions, who exactly decided a glass dildo was a good idea?

Then there's holibobs, and all the other daft words for going away. Jollies we'll allow. Unless it's a cheeky weekend, which of course only ever means one thing.

And in this weather, a gentle plea, wash the bacteria out from under your arms before you spray, not instead of. On which note, how many days is acceptable for one pair of underpants? Rule of thumb, once you've gipped more than twice, it's gone too far.

Dive in, it's genuinely worth a listen. Dandelion and Burdock, anyone?