Send us Fan Mail

In this episode of Recovery: The Whole Enchilada, host Peg McDermott and co-host Heather Hageman explore sober intimacy and why it can feel terrifying in recovery.

They discuss intimacy as “into me, see,” rebuilding trust with oneself after addiction, learning to sit with uncomfortable emotions, and moving beyond equating intimacy with sex. Heather shares how alcohol fueled transactional relationships, fear of being known, and objectification, while recovery has taught her vulnerability, respect, and connection through friendships and spirituality.

They emphasize safety, therapy with trauma-informed professionals, navigating triggers and past non-consent experiences, avoiding swapping addictions, and delaying romantic relationships in early sobriety. Practical guidance includes sober dating plans, red flags, boundaries, communication, and aligning words with actions, emphasizing that real intimacy doesn’t require “liquid courage,” only authentic presence.

00:00 Welcome and Topic Setup

00:46 Into Me See Meaning

02:32 Sex Versus Intimacy

06:39 Trauma Safety and Consent

09:09 Early Recovery Dating Advice

14:58 Sober Dating Plan

19:27 Marriage Communication and Triggers

21:50 Friendship Higher Power and Self Worth

27:02 Closing Takeaways and Farewell

Send us Fan Mail

Host Peg McDermott and co-host Heather Hageman discuss the recovery principle “love and tolerance of others is our code,” clarifying that it doesn’t require approving, agreeing with, or endlessly enduring harmful behavior.

They explore how compassion can coexist with truth-telling, boundaries, and refusing chaos, including Peg’s experience supporting a longtime friend facing prescription pill abuse and withdrawal while turning her over to a Higher Power and protecting her own wellbeing.

Heather reflects on how intolerance shows up as “they should do it my way,” fueling resentment, disconnection, and victim thinking, and how recovery calls for honesty, grace, and accepting reality without taking others’ inventory.

Together they distinguish healthy vs. unhealthy tolerance and emphasize healing the stories we attach to others’ behavior to preserve emotional sobriety and serenity.

00:00 Welcome and Topic

00:30 Love Tolerance Boundaries

02:27 Friend in Crisis

05:40 Defining Intolerance

09:06 Victimhood and Drama

12:04 Spiritual Medicine

14:12 Triggered by Victim Thinking

19:46 Stories Meaning and Healing

24:20 Wisdom of Our Code

27:09 Closing Thanks

Send us Fan Mail

In this episode of Recovery: The Whole Enchilada, hosts Peg McDermott and co-host Heather Hageman explore trust as a foundational part of recovery—learning to become trustworthy, rebuilding trust with others, and trusting the process and a higher power.

Heather shares how early sobriety began with “putting a plug in the jug,” showing up one day at a time, and recognizing when people aren’t safe, including a story of a friend pushing alcohol on her after she said she wasn’t drinking.

Peg reflects on coming from a dysregulated home, struggling with self-trust and broken commitments, and rebuilding trust through small promises, honesty, and noticing bodily signals. They discuss evaluating congruence between words and actions, patterns, boundaries, grace, and making amends through changed behavior, ending with the idea that trust isn’t found—it’s practiced daily.

00:00 Welcome and Topic

00:53 Trust Starts Within

02:50 Boundaries and Triggers

05:22 Rebuilding Self Trust

09:09 Redefining Trust

11:04 Body Signals and Safety

13:32 Words Versus Actions

17:45 Amends and Being Trustworthy

18:55 Police Story Breakthrough

24:38 Trust the Process

28:39 Daily Practice and Closing