You know that moment when life drops something heavy in your lap and your brain does that “oh hell no” spiral?

The call you didn’t expect, the crisis you never planned for, the “oh my god, what do I even do next” moment?

In this episode, I sit down with my friend and total powerhouse Debra Woog, and we get brutally honest about what confidence looks like when everything is falling apart — not the Instagram version, the real-life, messy, human version.

Debra talks about the crisis that knocked her flat, the one that forced her to rebuild confidence from the ground up. And hearing her walk through it — calmly, clearly, and with that signature Debra groundedness — felt like someone turning on a light in a room I didn’t realize had gone dim. She doesn’t sugarcoat anything, and that’s what makes it so damn comforting.

We also get into that weird, almost guilty feeling of being “the strong one” even when you don’t feel strong. Debra lays out how she learned to ask for help (like, actually ask) and how that became the turning point for getting her confidence back. I swear, I felt this in my bones.

This conversation is the reminder every single one of us needs: confidence isn’t about being unshakeable. It's about remembering who you are while you're being shaken. Debra shows us exactly how to do that and with so much grace it’ll make you exhale in relief.

Highlights from our conversation:

• Why confidence during a crisis never looks the way we expect ( and why that’s actually a good thing)
• How to keep showing up for your life even when your energy, identity or sense of control feels wobbly
• Why asking for help is actually one of the strongest confidence moves you can make (and how Debra learned to do it)
• How to remind yourself who you are and what you can handle when life hits hard
• The simple daily practice Debra used to stop spiraling and start stabilizing

Connect2 Corporation founder and Principal Crisis Navigation Partner® Debra A. Woog (pronounced “Vogue”) has 30+ years of experience as a leadership researcher, executive, and advisor. Debra empowers highly competent women facing challenging circumstances with the expertise, empathy, and structure to connect with the right resources, communicate effectively, and lead with a clear mind and a solid strategy. Learn more about Debra at connectwo.com.

You know those days when you look around and suddenly realize, “Wait… I earned all this”? That’s the vibe of this episode. I’m sitting here, sipping something strong, telling you the truth we forget way too often: the confidence we’re walking around with didn’t fall from the sky. All those skills, talents, relationships, even the weird little wins? We built them. And when you start seeing your life through that lens… oh, everything shifts. Opportunities don’t just magically appear — you finally notice them.

What really struck me as I recorded this is how easy it is to sleepwalk through our own success. We miss the good stuff, the right people, the “doors” we were absolutely meant to walk through, simply because we’re rushing or doubting or distracted. But when you get intentional about it, suddenly people become more interesting, and you become more interesting right back. It's wild how quickly that builds confidence on both sides.

I also tell you about this little end-of-day ritual I swear by: finding the small wins. Not gratitude — that’s great, but it can feel like everything just happened to you. This is different. This is claiming the moments where you actually moved something forward. And yes, sometimes that “small win” is someone making your day. Other times, it’s you making theirs. A text. A compliment. A pot of soup. A connection email. A tiny spark of humanity that lands exactly right for someone.

That’s where your superpower lives — in how you lift someone else up. The deeper stuff counts the most: thanking the role models you never properly acknowledged, circling back to the friend who showed up when you didn’t even ask, telling the people in your life that they mattered in ways they might not even realize. Identifying these isn’t a to-do and there’s no pressure. It’s just the simplest daily boost you can give yourself and the world.

If you’ve been feeling stuck or doubting whether you’re really “doing enough,” this episode is your permission slip to look again — really look — at what you’ve earned, what you’ve created and the confidence you can give away just by showing up with a little more intention. Pour your favorite drink, take a breath, and join me for this one. It hits exactly where it needs to.

Okay, grab your wine, your tea, your snack — whatever makes you cozy — because you are NOT ready for the story Jeff Luther is about to tell. This guy survived literal near-death, like “heart stopped, flatlined, dead for eight minutes” kind of near-death. And somehow, instead of coming out bitter or broken, he came out with a superpower: a brand-new perspective on confidence, vulnerability, and connection.

We’re talking about a man who went from running 50Ks and feeling unstoppable to being told, “Hey buddy, your heart’s dangerous. Don’t move too much or you could die.” And yes, that’s terrifying. But Jeff didn’t just survive physically — he came out thinking, feeling, and acting differently in ways that any of us can learn from, even if our worst day doesn’t involve flatlining.

What I loved about Jeff is how real he is about fear and vulnerability. He had to confront what he was afraid to face — not just for himself but for his teenage son, who witnessed parts of this. Jeff’s story is raw, human, and honestly, a little scary, but it’s full of nuggets about how confidence isn’t just a skill, it’s a survival tool.

Confidence isn’t the result of something dramatic happening. Jeff will be the first to tell you that it’s a choice (sound familiar?). This conversation may be heavy in some places, but it’s also hopeful because Jeff proves that even small shifts in our mindset and also showing up for others — vulnerably, genuinely — actually builds your confidence in ways you don’t expect.

Key takeaways from our conversation include:

• How leaning into honesty with yourself and others builds real, resilient confidence.
• The ways gratitude literally rewires your brain.
• What it means to connect when life is hard. Whether it’s a near-death moment or just a tough conversation with your teen, showing up fully strengthens your confidence and relationships simultaneously.
• How to flip fear into agency.
• The role mindset plays in shaping recovery and growth.

Jeff Luther is a seasoned entrepreneur and fitness enthusiast who has overcome significant health challenges, including a life-threatening heart condition. With over 25 years of experience in business and a passion for inspiring others, Jeff utilizes his journey to motivate individuals facing their own adversities. He shares valuable insights on resilience, gratitude, and the importance of human connection. You can learn more about Jeff Luther at jeffluther.com.

The American Confidence Institute (ACI) is 10 years old. Ten. Years. And honestly, I had to sit with that for a second—like, wait, what?

The last decade has been a sports bra-required ride. Confidence has been tested for me, for you, for all of us. Back in 2015, when I talked about the amygdala, people looked at me like I was speaking Greek (which technically it is—it means almond, the shape of that brain part). Or maybe they thought I was casting a spell from Harry Potter. Now, brain science is practically pop culture.

And can we agree that “fake it till you make it,” counting to five, or power posing doesn’t actually work? You can’t breathe your way past fear or plaster on a smile and call it confidence.

Those tricks help calm your amygdala so you can think instead of react, but real confidence takes more. It takes doing the inner work. It takes deciding how you want to respond when your brain yells, “This is uncomfortable.”

Over the years, we’ve cycled through emotional regulation and emotional intelligence—both good, both useful—but the core lesson remains: your brain freaks out when it feels unsafe. Turning those warnings into signals helps you make better, more rational, confident choices. You can’t control others’ reactions—their experiences and emotions belong to them—but understanding and managing your own brain gives you an edge.

Confidence, really, is deciding again and again how you want to show up. The more you practice that awareness—recognizing your thoughts, feelings, and signals—the more you rewire your brain. That’s neuroplasticity in action: building the habits that make confidence your default. You start creating automatic responses you’ll be proud of later, not ones that make you think, “Crap, that was not my finest moment.”

So here we are. ACI at 10, me at 60. The data says confidence peaks around now, and I can confirm—it checks out.

It’s not about how you look or sound. It’s about being who you truly want to be. It’s about making your mark with the colors and fonts you like no matter what others think. It’s about making positive, productive impact. Are you leaving things better than you found them?

As a parent, educator, wife, friend, daughter—and yes, as a podcaster—I hope your world feels a little happier and a little more confident because I’m in it. It certainly does for me, because you’re in mine.

For this anniversary episode, we’re diving into where we’ve been, what’s changed, and what’s finally starting to click.

This past summer, my husband and I traveled to Croatia with a fantastic tour group. We’re sitting on a restaurant patio, sipping something ridiculously overpriced, when I meet a young psychiatrist on the tour. Freshly minted, very professional, very brainy… but, and I mean this with zero judgment, clearly on the spectrum. She wore the same outfit every day—just switched colors—and had that classic social awkwardness. Not a bad thing at all—just noticeable. Her vibe? Endearingly, unmistakably her own.

Then comes dinner. We’re all chatting, and suddenly—bam—she jumps up, grabs ice cream from a vendor, and plops it on her plate. No comment, no offer, nothing. Just action. Later, she confesses one of her biggest challenges: her autistic nephew. She says, “I just can’t do it. I don’t know how to interact with him.” And I’m thinking—sweetheart, I see you. You’re living some of this yourself.

Meeting her got me thinking about self-awareness. Noticing your patterns isn’t the same as controlling them. Awareness is step one; control, change, agency—that’s a whole other ballgame. That distinction—between knowing something about ourselves and having the ability and desire to change—is central to growing in confidence. Recognizing patterns is one thing; turning that knowledge into action is where true confidence lives. Tools, assessments, even feedback from others provide data—but they don’t automatically teach us how to act with clarity or courage.

If you’ve ever struggled to turn self-awareness into real confidence—or wondered why knowing your patterns isn’t enough—this episode dives into what it really takes to bridge that gap. Listen now and start seeing how awareness can become action.

Ever feel like you’re stuck in a loop with the people you love—same arguments, same frustration, same sense of nothing changing? My guest in this episode, Christy Cerniglia, had that exact experience in her 30-year marriage. But instead of blaming her husband (or anyone else), she leaned into a secret that most of us resist: the real power to change your relationships lies in how you show up.

I know, I know, you got it: if you keep doing what you always do, you get what you always get. So how DO you show up differently? Where do you even start?

For Cristie it was noticing her own patterns. She realized that the energy she brought —whether it was impatience, irritation, or criticism — was being mirrored back at her by the people around her. When she shifted to showing up with curiosity, respect, and intention, the ripple effect was immediate. Her husband responded differently. Her kids started listening more. Even the challenging in-laws felt… different.

And when she noticed that, the more confident she grew, and so did those around her.

She wasn’t manipulating or controlling them. She was creating influence through the confidence she was building. Because all brains and mirror neurons notice how we – and others – carry ourselves.

When we show up confident, clear, and respectful, the people around us can’t help but reflect some of that energy back. Cristie saw this in action every day, and it transformed her life in ways that felt natural, not forced.

Whether it’s a spouse who never does the chores, a mother-in-law who’s impossible to please, or kids who resist every request, I promise there’s something in this episode for you. Cristie’s approach is simple, doable and helps make relationships feel like a source of joy instead of stress.

Key takeaways from our conversation include:

• Why focusing on your own behavior sparks change in others
• How leading with respect and trust builds confidence in those around you
• What expressing desires clearly instead of complaining actually accomplishes
• Ways to release control with “whatever you think”
• Why owning your missteps with intentional apologies strengthens confidence

Cristie Cerniglia is a certified Laura Doyle Relationship coach and mother of four with a passion for inspiring and coaching women back into magnetic marriages. You can learn more about Cristie at relationshipswithamap.com.

I turned 60 this year, and honestly, it really is like a confidence switch flipped. Surprise?

Not really.

All the data from our research at American Confidence Institute has always shown that when we’ve clocked 60 years on the planet, we finally reach our confident best.

Not because age magically makes you perfect, but because you find yourself laughing at the ridiculous stuff that used to knock you down. I feel calmer. Wiser. Not all-knowing by any means, but I can see the games my own mind plays with me and spot them before they suck me in.

The three that chip away at our confidence the most?

Comparison. Impatience. Avoidance.

I’ve tripped over them more times than I can count and yeah, they’ve left some scars. But when I’m able to recognize them at play? That’s when I change the games my mind is playing.

Comparison is probably the worst. I still catch myself scrolling through alumni updates or social feeds and thinking, “Why aren’t I doing more?” But then I remind myself that at least half of those posts are highlight reels. Few if any post about the burnout, the mistakes, the doubts.

Patience is the next one. I’ve wanted things fast my whole life. Faster answers, faster progress, faster results. But life doesn’t hand you clarity overnight. You have to practice, stumble, and celebrate the tiniest wins. Even something as silly as picking a new outfit or finishing a podcast episode counts. Those little wins stack, and that’s how you grow confidence without noticing it.

Then there’s avoidance. So much easier to do the “safe” tasks, ignore the scary ones, and hope they’ll vanish. But avoiding life’s uncomfortable moments—hard conversations, big decisions, even self-reflection—shrinks your confidence. Face them in bite-sized pieces, and suddenly, you realize you’re capable of more than you ever thought.

In this episode, I dig into these traps and, more importantly, explore how to sidestep them. You’ll hear the kind of honest, real talk that makes you stop overthinking, start acting, and finally feel secure in who you are. Because confidence isn’t something you find. Confidence is something you create, choice by choice.

Some days, I just ignore my health. I tell myself, “I’ll deal with it later.” Whatever “it” happens to be. You know what I’m going to say next, right? Later never comes.

And putting off dealing with the odd ache, weird rash or feeling of fatigue doesn’t make it go away. We know this and yet a lot of us freeze and do nothing. Then, guilt and overwhelm sneak in, denial joins the party and what, before, might have had us feeling a little anxious now feels like a full-blown panic attack waiting to happen.

So why do we hit a wall or bottom or need a crisis to get us to act? My guest on this episode of Real Confidence explains it all. Health expert Esther Avant, who has coached countless people through exactly these struggles, helps us understand why denial feels safe and how small consistent actions we take can completely shift our energy around health.

This conversation is NOT about weight, getting your steps in or gym routines. Those are part of the health equation, but must as important for our health is feeling confident, capable, and like you actually own your body and your decisions.

You won’t get any “you shoulds” in this one. Esther offers instead practical, doable ways to reclaim your confidence in your health, starting with the tiniest step that you can commit to today, why self-compassion is critical to momentum and how shifting your mindset can turn fear into fuel.

So, if you’re ready to stop hiding from your health, start acting, and actually feel like you’ve got a handle on your body and choices, press play. This isn’t theory. It’s straight talk, small wins, and the kind of conversation that makes you want to move — today, not next week.

We explore:

• Why denial around health feels safer than facing the truth
• How guilt and perfectionism sabotage even the best intentions
• Simple mindset shifts that turn overwhelm and fear into action
• Ways to develop small, effective habits without the overthinking.
• How to build momentum and self-trust so your health becomes something you own, not stress about.

Esther Avant is a health industry veteran with 20 years of experience, passionately helping people stop starting over so they can build the consistency and confidence to create the kind of life they want — starting with their health. You can learn more about Esther at estheravant.com.