How facing your most rejected self can free your most authentic one.

What if the part of you you've spent your whole life hiding — the one you feel ashamed of, embarrassed by, or unworthy of — was actually the key to your confidence and freedom?

In this moving episode of Question Yourself, Bethany and Diane explore The Shadow — one of the most personal and confronting Tools from Phil Stutz's groundbreaking framework. Joined by professional coach Patrick Kelley, they unpack what the Shadow really is, how it quietly shapes our choices and relationships, and how to begin bringing it into the light.

With Patrick's guidance, Bethany meets her own Shadow — an eight-year-old version of herself in a dress, hurting and unseen — and discovers what it means to bring compassion to the parts of ourselves we've long rejected. Together, the trio discuss how to recognize when your Shadow is running the show, how projection reveals the parts of ourselves we disown, and what it looks like to start integrating these forgotten parts into everyday life.

You'll learn a practical, profound way to meet the parts of yourself you've hidden — and discover what becomes possible when you stop running from them.

Resources:

• The Tools by Phil Stutz

• Coaching with Patrick Kelley: repscoaching.co

Learn how to recognize and push back against "Part X"—the self-destructive force inside you—with Phil Stutz's powerful tool, Cosmic Rage.

In this episode of Question Yourself, Diane Leja and Bethany Meloche introduce you to Part X—Phil Stutz's name for the negative force inside us that whispers "you're not good enough" and tries to sabotage our growth.

You'll discover how to spot your own Part X and why you can't simply think it away or negotiate with it. For Bethany, it takes the form of a grumpy old man named Stefan—always sighing, muttering, and insisting she can't do it. But with Cosmic Rage, she's learned how to stop listening, stand up to him, and take back control.

Diane and Bethany teach you how to do the same—using this strikingly effective tool to confront your inner saboteur, reclaim your space, and begin living from your higher self.

If you're new to The Tools, start with Episode 1 for an overview of Phil Stutz's method—then join us here to learn how to fight back when negativity strikes.

Resources:
https://www.thetoolsbook.com/

How to move beyond shallow lists and discover authentic gratitude

Gratitude is everywhere these days—gratitude lists, dinner table rituals, affirmations. But what if those practices feel forced, shallow, or even dismissive of your real struggles? In this bonus episode, Bethany and Diane unpack the science and soul of gratitude—why it matters, how it can go wrong, and how to access the kind of gratitude that actually changes how you feel.

You'll hear why our brains are wired to take things for granted, what researchers have discovered about the health benefits of true gratitude, and how to avoid "toxic gratitude" that denies your genuine emotions. Bethany shares her simple (and slightly quirky) practice of imagining life without everyday comforts—like socks or blankets—to spark authentic appreciation.

Whether you're skeptical of gratitude practices or looking to deepen your own, this episode offers a grounded, practical way to reconnect with joy, contentment, and awe.

What if the way out of resentment isn't punishment, but love? In this episode, we explore The Tools: Active Love—a practice to free yourself from rage, grudges, and the endless replay of injustice.

In this episode of Question Yourself, Diane Leja and Bethany Meloche introduce Active Love, the second tool in Phil Stutz's The Tools. Designed to break the cycle of resentment and release you from what Stutz calls "the Maze," Active Love is a simple yet radical practice: sending love to those who've wronged you.

It's not about excusing bad behavior or letting people off the hook. It's about letting you off the hook—freeing your mind and body from the grip of anger.

You'll hear Bethany's story of testing the tool after a mortifying restaurant experience, and Diane's account of using it when confronted with a scammer. Together, they explore how Active Love shifts the experience of pain and injustice, and how it bridges both spiritual and biological perspectives.

Whether you're replaying a hurtful comment, holding a grudge, or struggling with someone in your life right now, this episode offers a practical way to wash out the negativity and return to clarity, compassion, and strength.

Resources mentioned:

• The Tools by Phil Stutz & Barry Michels

• thetoolsbook.com

What if pain isn't the enemy, but the path forward? In this episode, we explore The Tools: Reversal of Desire and how it can help you break through avoidance and move toward freedom.

In our first episode of Question Yourself, Diane Leja and Bethany Meloche introduce themselves and the journey that led them to self-inquiry. Then they dive into a powerful practice from Phil Stutz's The Tools — the Reversal of Desire.

This simple yet radical exercise flips our instinct to avoid discomfort. Instead of running from pain, it shows us how to move through it and come out the other side with energy, clarity, and freedom.

You'll hear how Bethany applied the tool despite living with aphantasia (the inability to visualize), how Diane used it to break through her resistance to doing taxes, and the surprising insights they uncovered about pain, avoidance, and resilience.

Whether you're facing procrastination, self-doubt, or resistance to something important, this episode offers a practical way to confront what hurts and discover the possibility waiting beyond it.

Resources mentioned:

• The Tools by Phil Stutz & Barry Michels

• thetoolsbook.com