Who this episode is for:
- Musicians living gig to gig, paycheck to bar tab
- Anyone who ever tried to quit drinking with “just a few more beers”
- People who’ve played on stage… and people who’ve blacked out in the crowd
- Friends who’ve called in a wellness check and hoped to God it worked
- Anyone who’s ever made a mess of their life and thought, “F***, I can’t keep doing this”

Pondoff sits down with Dillon Dunnagan—frontman of The Winks and a dude who played on stage with Green Day at Riverport. Behind the badass moments? Booze, blow, heartbreak, and a third-story balcony. This one’s raw, dark, hilarious, and brutally honest. From the “Piss Palace” to a psych ward, Dillon shares how a wellness check—and saying yes to help—changed everything.

• 1:25 – Irish genes and early gigs
• 10:16 – Playing on stage with Green Day — watch it
• 20:48 – Booze + band life = unraveling
• 33:48 – Fire pits, cops, and “strippers are here!”
• 50:55 – The balcony moment that changed it all
• 1:06:10 – The last drink and the day he chose life
• 1:17:04 – Playing sober—and getting laid again
• 1:45:16 – The Winks and writing through recovery
• 1:56:45 – Episode closes with raw, poetic lyrics

• Green Day moment: https://youtu.be/YwGPboK3OEE
• The Winks: https://linktr.ee/thewinks
• Pop Disaster Tribute – June 28: https://www.ninemilegarden.com

• Illinois Recovery Center: https://illinoisrecoverycenter.com
• Bertarelli Cutlery: https://bertarellico.com

Like what you heard?
Subscribe, rate, and share it with the friend who needs to hear it. This one’s for the fighters and the f***ups still trying.

🎧 WHO THIS EPISODE IS FOR:
If you’re a mom who’s been up all night worrying.
If you’ve lost someone and don’t know how you’re still breathing.
If you’re in recovery or barely hanging on to it.
If you think one more relapse won’t kill you—listen up. This is for you.

We go deep on this one. Becky Evans—our sister, our friend—joins the pod to tell the story of her son Jordan. 18 months sober. Doing the damn thing. Then one relapse. One dose. Gone.

This isn’t some sad PSA. This is a real mom telling the truth about grief, addiction, and the fight to keep her son’s legacy alive. We talk recovery, relapse, family, tavern war stories, and how Jordan’s Jumpstart is giving other addicts a shot he should’ve had.

• 00:00 – Cold open & sponsor shoutouts (Bertarelli Cutlery)
• 02:00 – Becky joins: “big sister who tells you to knock your shit off and still loves you”
• 04:59 – Why the family program at IRC matters
• 06:19 – Drunk tavern tales and how Becky’s mom once fired Chris
• 14:22 – Jordan growing up
• 20:51 – Jordan asks for help
• 23:08 – Alcohol changes everything
• 26:21 – The call to Chris
• 30:32 – COVID delays and CPAP hell
• 34:41 – Oxford House saves the day
• 36:41 – April 1st move out
• 42:49 – August 7th: The call that changed everything
• 48:03 – The full breakdown
• 55:16 – Jordan’s Jumpstart is born
• 58:56 – Becky speaks to families
• 1:04:45 – Relapse shouldn’t mean death
• 1:09:13 – Power of grief groups and community
• 1:14:01 – How Becky changes lives at IRC
• 1:16:50 – Jordan’s light keeps shining

• Jordan’s Jumpstart: https://jordansjumpstarttorecovery.godaddysites.com
• Illinois Recovery Center: https://illinoisrecoverycenter.com
• Bertarelli Cutlery: https://bertarellico.com

💬 REAL SHIT:
Jordan didn’t die because he was weak. He died because fentanyl doesn’t give a damn.
This episode is a gut punch—but also a battle cry.
If you’ve got someone out there using, share this with them.
If you’re using, share it with yourself.
And if you’re listening with tears in your eyes—yeah, us too.

🎧 PONDOFF’S ANONYMOUS – EPISODE 11

Guest: Alex Kaiser | Host of No Lions Here Podcast
🎧 https://www.nolionshere.com/

WHO’S THIS EPISODE FOR?

• The morbidly curious
• Anyone whose secrets are getting heavy
• Partners of sex addicts who want answers
• Folks untangling faith, shame, and identity
• People craving unfiltered recovery talk

EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS:

Chris, Jeff, and Jakob dive in with Alex Kaiser, a man who’s walked through hell and come back with a mic. From childhood trauma to sex addiction, locker room benders to emotional sobriety—this one hits hard.

• 🎧 Alex’s podcast: No Lions Here – https://www.nolionshere.com/
• 💔 Trauma, shame, and the roots of sexual addiction
• 🧠 The Feeling Wheel—emotional sobriety 101
• 🏒 Hockey, blow, and bottoming out in a garage with a glory hole
• 🚫 What sexual sobriety actually means
• 🔥 Why he’s speaking up now—and who it’s for

TIMESTAMPS:

• [00:00] – Bertarelli Cutlery shoutout
• [01:36] – Finger-fucking the mic setup
• [04:00] – Meet Alex: recovering sex addict
• [06:00] – Love addiction & early shame
• [10:11] – Sobriety defined: no porn, no apps, no hookups
• [20:11] – Childhood abuse, church trauma
• [28:15] – Feeling Wheel and emotional sobriety
• [34:55] – Naming emotions, dealing with disappointment
• [37:24] – Arousal templates, secrets, and shame
• [48:27] – Benders, broken trust, and the turning point
• [57:03] – Begin Again Institute: where he got help
• [1:18:00] – Disclosing to a new partner
• [2:00:00] – If you’re struggling, email Alex: nolionshere@gmail.com

LISTEN TO ALEX’S PODCAST:

🦁 No Lions Here – Raw stories of recovery and real connection
🎧 https://www.nolionshere.com/

FINAL TAKE:

Two hours of raw truth, no filter. Alex proves that healing’s possible—even after the kind of shit no one wants to admit out loud.

RESOURCES & LINKS:

• 🎡 Feeling Wheel: https://feelingswheel.com/
• 📧 Email Alex: nolionshere@gmail.com
• 🏥 Begin Again Institute: https://beginagaininstitute.com/
• 🎙️ No Lions Here Podcast: https://www.nolionshere.com/

💥 SPONSORS:

• 🔪 Bertarelli Cutlery – https://bertarellico.com
• 🏥 Illinois Recovery Center – https://illinoisrecoverycenter.com

Back by popular demand (and because we promised), we’re throwing it back to an episode that still slaps five years later. Megan Gehrs sat down with Chris and poured out a jaw-dropping story of addiction, destruction, and one hell of a comeback. From sneaking booze in Catholic school basements to being wheelchair-bound with alcoholic neuropathy, Megan takes us on a brutal, hilarious, and brutally honest ride.

But don’t get it twisted—this isn’t a sob story. It’s a story of survival, faith, and the kind of redemption arc that makes Hollywood scripts look soft.

In this one, we cover:

• 🍻 How Belleville turned weekend benders into lifestyle choices
• 🚫 Why DUIs and losing her license didn’t slow her down—but losing the feeling in her legs did
• 🛏️ Drinking vodka out of water bottles in a hospital bed (yeah… it gets there)
• 🔥 Hitting her spiritual bottom and finally getting her life back
• 🙌 Finding purpose in service and saving lives through lived experience
• 💪 What real recovery looks like—and why Megan’s still out here doing the damn thing

Megan didn’t just get sober. She got loud. And now she’s helping others do the same, one raw truth at a time.

This episode is loaded with laughter, tears, and more Belle-Vegas debauchery than we care to admit. If you missed it the first time (shame on you), don’t miss it now.

📅 Originally recorded FIVE YEARS AGO. And it still bangs.

📺 YouTube version (with the most views in show history): Watch here

Let us pray.

Who It’s For

• The introvert who thinks they can't recover in a loud-ass world
• Anyone clinging to the idea of "high-functioning" addiction
• Parents who think “we raised them right” means addiction-proof
• The one white-knuckling sobriety and thinking it’ll magically stay that way
• Folks who think jail and liver failure are just someone else’s problem—until they’re not

Megan Gehrs is back to defend her YouTube crown, and she brought backup: the fierce, funny, and fearless Bree Badgley. What starts as a roast-fest quickly turns into a raw, riveting convo about what it really takes to crawl out of addiction — and why surviving doesn’t mean staying silent.

We talk childhood trauma, drinking vodka from Sprite bottles, Zoom recovery, liver failure, “terminal uniqueness,” prison visits, and the miracle of showing up for life — even when it’s hard as hell.

Bree gets real about trying to white-knuckle her way to sobriety, the self-loathing of secret drinking, and finally surrendering to something bigger. Megan opens up about hitting literal liver failure and still thinking, “I’ve got this.” Spoiler: she didn’t — but she does now.

🔪 Brutally honest. 🤣 Surprisingly funny.
🙏 Spiritually grounding.
This one’s a damn heater.

🕰 TIMESTAMPS

• 00:00 – Welcome back, Megan & meet Bree Badgley
• 05:50 – Bree’s story: “perfect” family, still an alcoholic
• 08:30 – Catholic guilt, introvert hell, and the terminal uniqueness trap
• 16:00 – Megan’s sobriety inspired Bree (even if Bree ghosted her at first)
• 20:30 – Getting sober during COVID (yes, really)
• 27:00 – IOP, living at home, isolation, & the Zoom detox
• 34:00 – Making amends to her sister: “I was a jerk”
• 36:00 – Megan’s liver says “nope,” and the wake-up call
• 41:00 – Bree joins Megan’s homegroup and hates it (at first)
• 43:00 – Finding God in pancakes & basement meetings
• 47:00 – Spirituality, introverts, and group therapy for the win
• 51:00 – Fireball, yet lists, & prison visits that haunt you
• 58:00 – The power of being seen & surrendering the fight
• 1:03:00 – Cliff at Friday’s & the people who never make it out
• 1:05:00 – “I didn’t get in trouble… but I should’ve.”
• 1:07:00 – Recovery, honesty, and learning to live with yourself

This episode’s for the quiet ones, the ones who “don’t look like” addicts, and anyone who ever told themselves I’m fine. You’re not alone. You never were.

🔥 Powered by our day-ones:
🛏️ Illinois Recovery Center – https://illinoisrecoverycenter.com/
🔪 Bertarelli Cutlery – https://bertarellico.com/

Let’s f’ing go.

This week, Chris, Jeff, and Jakob throw down on some heavy hitters: grief, addiction, childhood trauma, and what it really takes to get your shit together in recovery. No fluff, no fake inspiration—just real talk from guys who’ve lived it.

Chris opens up about a brutal personal loss and how it shook his sobriety to the core. The crew doesn’t sugarcoat it—grief will mess with your head, especially when you’re trying to stay clean. They break down why grieving your old life is part of the process and how pretending you’re “fine” only makes things worse.

They hit hard on childhood trauma, accountability, and the difference between just not drinking and actually recovering. Spoiler: one is survival, the other is transformation.

Relationships? Still complicated as hell in sobriety. But with humility, self-reflection, and a crew that calls you on your bullshit, it gets manageable. The guys remind us that asking for help isn’t weakness—it’s the strongest move you can make. And when you start showing up for others? That’s where the real magic happens.

This one’s about sitting in the suck, owning your story, and crawling toward growth—one honest step at a time.

Takeaways

• Chris shares a gut-punch story of loss and how it shook up his recovery.
• Grief isn’t just about people—it’s also about losing the chaos you once called “normal.”
• Childhood trauma has receipts. Time to face it.
• There’s no healing without humility. Own your shit.
• Sobriety and recovery? Not the same thing.
• Accountability means letting people into the mess.
• Self-pity is a trap. Grieve, then move.
• Gratitude isn’t corny—it’s fuel.
• The scariest things to do are usually the most important.
• Asking for help is gangster.
• Service keeps you out of your own head.
• You don’t do this alone. Ever.

Sponsors

Illinois Recovery Center – Where real healing starts.

Bertarelli Cutlery – Sharpen your damn knives. And your life.

So here’s the deal—Chris kicked off this episode saying Jeff’s out ‘cause his kid’s on spring break. Cute story, totally false. Jeff’s actually home while his wife’s doing parent-teacher conferences, because unlike some people, he listens. I guess you can tell who writes these show notes now…

With Jeff out, our guy Eric Conley slides back into the studio alongside Chris and Jakob for a special FAQ episode—where we cut through the fluff and tackle the questions people in and out of recovery are really asking.

We’re talking about what rehab actually looks like (spoiler: it ain’t a vacation—it’s school, and you’re the subject), why medically assisted treatment (MAT) saves lives, and why sober living isn’t just a halfway house—it’s where accountability gets real.

The guys also dig into how active addiction reduces you to survival mode—animal level living—and how even making your bed in the morning can feel like a goddamn victory. We’ve had some heavy-hitting guests lately, and we take a minute to reflect on that weight and why those conversations matter.

Plus:

• What to expect from outpatient programs (aka “real life with a safety net”)
• Why swapping one addiction for another is a sneaky trap
• The fine line between harm reduction and moderation
• Adderall, social media, and other modern landmines
• Why talking to your kids about addiction early matters more than you think

This one’s not just about staying sober—it’s about building a life that makes sense sober. From lifestyle changes to real accountability, from support groups to self-love, it’s all on the table. Let’s get into it.

Support the ones who support us:

• Illinois Recovery Center – They don’t play around when it comes to getting clean.
• Bertarelli Cutlery – Blades so sharp, they’ll cut through your denial.