Ryan Canaday and Karie McMullen from FREE Recovery Community in Denver join us for a raw, thoughtful conversation about addiction, faith, grief, and the power of community.

This episode explores what happens when recovery shifts from isolation to connection. We talk about shame, anger at God, burnout in ministry spaces, losing people to addiction, and the kind of spiritual community that makes room for doubt instead of punishing it.

At the center of this episode is one simple but powerful idea: “we” is stronger than “me.”

FREE Recovery Community (Denver, CO)
https://www.freerecoverycommunity.com

A spiritually grounded recovery community focused on connection, belonging, and breaking shame through honest conversation.

• 00:00 – Introduction to the journey
• 03:12 – Transformative moments in recovery
• 08:55 – Faith, community, and what actually helps people heal
• 12:54 – Doubt, anger at God, and staying spiritually honest
• 17:47 – Addiction and family systems
• 22:48 – Desperation, surrender, and what finally shifts
• 30:32 – “We” is stronger than “me”
• 35:03 – The illusion of anonymity and the power of shame
• 59:53 – How FREE Recovery Community started
• 01:05:56 – Grief, funerals, and the urgency of the work
• 01:30:31 – Representation and belonging in spiritual spaces
• 02:00:56 – Baptism and redemption

https://www.pondoffsanonymous.com

McKelvey Insurance Group
https://www.mckelveyins.com

LightSource Psychotherapy (Belleville, IL)
https://www.findyourlightsource.com

🔥 Pondoff’s Anonymous – Show Notes

🎙️ Episode Title: Grief, Phish, Fentanyl & Truth

🎧 Guest: Theresa Solsten

Who this episode is for:

- Those addicted to drugs and/or alcohol

- Families grieving someone lost to overdose — or what we’re calling it now: poisoning

- Anyone carrying shame in silence

- Men who’ve never been told they’re allowed to feel

- Anyone who’s ever made a mess of their life

- Phish fans and the Phish-curious

---

Theresa is back. And this one goes deep.

Eight years ago, her sister Michelle died from fentanyl poisoning.

Not a moral failure.

Not a statistic.

A poisoning.

We talk about why language matters. Why “overdose” carries stigma. Why “poisoning” tells the truth. Most people who die from fentanyl never intended to die. They thought they were buying something else. They were wrong — and it cost them everything.

Theresa shares:

- Discovering her sister was using

- Taking her to her first meeting

- Clean time that ended quietly

- The secrecy addicts build out of fear

- The isolation of grieving someone society still judges

“People choose isolation because they’re trying to feel safe.”

That line hits.

Addiction isn’t just self-destruction. It’s fear. Shame. Survival wiring that stopped working.

We also talk about:

- Therapy as preventative maintenance

- Why support systems matter before crisis hits

- Why men need emotional safe spaces

- The “doorknob confession” phenomenon

- How to challenge the thoughts that keep you stuck

And yes — we talk about Phish.

Because grief and joy coexist.

You can carry loss and still debate your favorite live jam.

You can mourn your sister and still show up to the show.

Somewhere between cutting hair and holding space for clients unloading their lives, Theresa feels a pull toward something bigger in the recovery space. Behavioral health was her first love. Grief made it personal.

Michelle’s story didn’t end when she died.

It lives on every time it’s told.

If you’ve ever:

- Loved an addict

- Been the addict

- Lost someone and struggled to say it out loud

- Sat in your car before work trying to steady yourself

This episode is for you.

Full transcript here: :contentReference[oaicite:0]{index=0}

Sponsored by McKelvey Insurance (https://www.mckelveyins.com/) and LightSource Psychotherapy (https://findyourlightsource.com/).

Pondoff’s Anonymous is on a one week break, but we didn’t want to leave you hanging…

So today we’re sharing an episode of our newer show, *Needed to Hear That*.

This one is a do not miss.

If you’ve ever connected with what we try to do here, honest conversations, recovery, mental health, and the stuff people usually don’t say out loud, this podcast is absolutely for you.

Subscribe to *Needed to Hear That* so you don’t miss the next one.