Trigger Warning: This episode contains discussions of trauma, antisemitism, abuse (emotional, physical, and sexual), drug use, suicidal ideation, and a suicide attempt. Listener discretion is advised.

Who this episode is for:

Anyone who’s ever tried to fill the void with drugs, booze, bad relationships—or all of the above

Trauma survivors who are still standing (barely or proudly)

Ravers who thought hiding drugs in the desert was a genius idea

Parents wondering if their “tough love” is really just emotional neglect

The curious and the nosy who’ve ever wondered what transcranial magnetic stimulation is

Anyone who’s ever made a glorious mess of their 20s

Episode 26 is a ride—raw, relentless, and painfully real. Chris, Jeff, and Jakob sit down with Kat, who walked through fire (sometimes literally at raves) and lived to tell the tale with her husband Thomas in her corner. From growing up Jewish in a Midwest Bible Belt town laced with antisemitism, to navigating parentification, panic attacks, and isolation, Kat’s story smashes the silence around trauma, mental health, and addiction.

We go deep: acid trips in fields, insane raves (including Electric Daisy Carnival, complete with cartel encounters and meth bombs), and opioids masquerading as “waves of happiness.” Kat calls this period her "Dark Ages"—eight years of high-end drugs, toxic relationships, and self-destruction dressed up as glamour.

But it’s not all doom. Kat talks recovery after a suicide attempt, how Jewish cultural stigma around mental health nearly killed her, and how she found real help—like TMS (transcranial magnetic stimulation) therapy, rave scenes that doubled as misfit family, and ultimately, love. This one’s got everything: hallucinogens, birthright trips to Israel, a landlord “member of the tribe,” kidney stones, rave drugs imported from China, and dancing until your serotonin collapses.

00:00 Introduction and Sponsorships

02:19 Personal Retreat and Reflections

04:48 Welcoming Kat: A Courageous Story

06:15 Trauma and Social Justice Advocacy

09:03 Cultural Perspectives on Mental Health

12:59 The Impact of Community on Mental Health

14:20 Experiences of Antisemitism and Isolation

21:50 Parentification and Family Dynamics

28:31 Struggles with Mental Health and Coping Mechanisms

33:54 The Impact of Neglect vs. Physical Abuse

34:55 Coping Mechanisms: Alcohol and Substance Use

36:46 Body Image and Eating Disorders in Dance

41:04 The Struggles of College Life and Substance Abuse

47:42 Exploring Alternative Therapies: TMS and Psychedelics

56:17 The Pain of Kidney Stones

59:15 Dating and Self-Worth

01:01:52 The Dark Ages of Abuse

01:03:44 Rave Culture and Escapism

01:11:10 The Descent into Addiction

01:18:49 A Crisis Point: Suicide Attempt

01:21:46 Surviving the Unthinkable: A Personal Journey

01:24:25 Understanding PMDD and Its Impact on Mental Health

01:25:44 Experiencing the Psych Ward: A Turning Point

01:32:04 Life in Residential Treatment: A Mixed Experience

01:40:08 Dialectical Behavior Therapy: Finding Balance in Chaos

01:44:07 Empathy in Recovery

01:47:06 Spirituality and Personal Growth

01:50:01 Finding Purpose Through Adventure

01:52:12 Activism and Social Justice

01:58:21 Navigating Personal Challenges

02:01:06 Education and Global Awareness

02:05:29 Building Meaningful Relationships

Originally from season one, we are excited to share this episode again. Jeff Stevens of WellBeing Brewing joined us back in 2020.

We'll be back next week!

Who this episode is for:

• Anyone who’s lost someone they couldn’t save
• Those navigating addiction—from the inside or from the sidelines
• Siblings who’ve had to be the strong one
• Moms who’ve done everything and still blame themselves
• Anyone who’s ever made a mess of their life

Episode 25 – “Jordan, Jack in the Box, and the Shit We Carry”

Pondoff’s Anonymous is brought to you by:

• McKelvey Insurance – Real humans, no bullshit. Whether it’s personal or commercial coverage, they work with over 30 companies to find the best rate without screwing you over. Call or text 618-623-0080 or hit the site: https://mckelveyins.com
• LightSource Psychotherapy – Based in Belleville, IL, they offer individual, family, and group therapy. If you’re struggling with addiction, grief, mental health—or just life—check them out: https://findyourlightsource.com

Chris and Jeff are holding it down while Jakob’s on vacation (he’s not sipping margaritas, he’s probably still waiting on his bag at Lambert with a virgin piña colada in hand).

Joining the show is Karissa Jones, a civilian, a sister, and someone who knows the long, brutal road of loving an addict. Her brother Jordan died at 27 after years of battling heroin addiction, bipolar disorder, and the rehab-relapse rinse cycle that so many families know too well. This episode goes deep—into grief, guilt, mental illness, and the kind of trauma that doesn’t let you sleep.

No sugarcoating. No easy answers. Just honesty, dark humor, and some much-needed humanity.

⏱ Timestamp Breakdown

• 0:00 – 6:00 – Chris plugs McKelvey Insurance (https://mckelveyins.com) and LightSource Psychotherapy in Belleville, IL (https://findyourlightsource.com), then drops us right into it.
• 6:01 – 15:00 – God, grief, and all the ways people try to spiritualize survival. Buddhism, Jesus, and why Chris built a “wisdom team.”
• 15:01 – 25:00 – Childhood chaos, stolen cars, Jack in the Box, and Jordan showing up on a mini bike to shut it all down.
• 25:01 – 35:00 – Karissa opens up about finding Jordan’s first suicide notes at 16.
• 35:01 – 45:00 – Attempt two. Karissa becomes the cleanup crew. 20 suicide videos. “I’m not glad I’m alive.”
• 45:01 – 55:00 – Bipolar disorder, self-medicating, and meds that mess you up worse than the illness.
• 55:01 – 1:05:00 – The Florida rehab shuffle. Jordan’s final texts. The relapse days before Thanksgiving.
• 1:05:01 – 1:15:00 – Facebook messages. The worst phone call imaginable. Karissa breaks the news to her mom.
• 1:15:01 – 1:25:00 – The detective confirms it. Karissa holds her mom together while falling apart herself.
• 1:25:01 – 1:35:00 – Why Jordan? Why not Karissa? The questions that never get answered.
• 1:35:01 – END (~1:53:00) – Chris brings it home: “The darkness never extinguishes the light.”

Mentioned in This Episode:

• McKelvey Insurance – https://mckelveyins.com
• LightSource Psychotherapy (Belleville, IL) – https://findyourlightsource.com
• Illinois Recovery Center – https://illinoisrecoverycenter.com