『Pleasure Uprising: Desire, Attachment, and the Sex You Actually Want』のカバーアート

Pleasure Uprising: Desire, Attachment, and the Sex You Actually Want

Pleasure Uprising: Desire, Attachment, and the Sex You Actually Want

著者： Laura Jurgens Ph.D.
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Formerly The Desire Gap Podcast


Most people who feel disconnected from their desire, their pleasure, or their partners have spent years assuming something is wrong with them. It isn't. The disconnection is real — but it traces back to what most of us were never taught: how to be in our bodies fully, how to connect to each other authentically, how to know and ask for what we need without guilt or shame. Culture shapes that — the broader culture we inherit, and the family we grew up in — and it can be unlearned. Pleasure, secure attachment, and authentic desire are your birthright.


You can learn what you were never taught — and unlearn what got in the way.


Dr. Laura Jurgens is a somatic sex and intimacy specialist, Master Certified Intimacy Coach, American Board of Sexology Certified Sex Educator, and former research professor whose work sits at the intersection of nervous system science, attachment theory, and genuine embodied pleasure. Every episode delivers the somatic, body-based tools that generic relationship advice and most therapists miss entirely — because desire, pleasure, and connection aren't fixed by talking more. They're fixed by giving your body and your nervous system reparative experiences that shift you out of your past.


This show covers: getting out of your head during sex · low libido and what actually helps · somatic and nervous system approaches to intimacy · desire discrepancy and mismatched libido · secure attachment and relationship repair · sexual shame and body disconnection · how to talk about sex without fighting · ADHD and desire · the orgasm gap and why it exists · reclaiming pleasure on your own terms.


Whether you've tried therapy, books, date nights, or just quietly wondering why intimacy feels harder than it should — this show will help you understand why those things don't move the needle — and what does.


New episodes weekly. Start wherever you are.


Free resource: Get Out of Your Head — A Starter Guide to Releasing the Pressure, Shame, and "Shoulds" Around Intimacy at https://laurajurgens.com/guide

Wheel of Erotic Emotions: https;//laurajurgens.com/wheel

For deeper analysis and the research behind desire, arousal, and attachment -- plus a chance to ask me questions, subscribe to my Substack here: https://laurajurgens.substack.com/

© 2026 Pleasure Uprising: Desire, Attachment, and the Sex You Actually Want 個人的成功 心理学 心理学・心の健康 自己啓発 衛生・健康的な生活
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  • Body Shame and Your Sex Life: It's Not Your Fault, and Only You Can Fix It

    Body Shame and Your Sex Life: It's Not Your Fault, and Only You Can Fix It
    2026/07/27

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    Body shame is pervasive, especially for women but increasingly for everyone, and it gets in the way of much more than how we feel in a swimsuit. It gets in the way of presence, pleasure, and our capacity for real connection. This is the first episode in a series I'm doing on body shame. If you've ever been so in your head about how you look that you couldn't stay present with a partner, or with yourself, this one is for you.

    I walk through where body shame actually comes from (spoiler: it's not truth, or you, that's the problem), the business model built on manufactured insecurity, the medical misinformation and racial history behind our cultural obsession with weight, and why shaming yourself has never once helped anyone change. I also share the exact steps I used to move from shame to neutral to genuinely loving my body.

    In this episode:

    • Why body shame kills presence, pleasure, and desire, and why underconfidence itself isn't sexy
    • Where body shame really comes from: family, culture, diet culture, and a patriarchy that built this by design, not by accident
    • The advertising strategy behind manufactured insecurity, including research on exactly when women feel worst about themselves
    • Debunking the medical myths: why BMI was never built to measure individual health, and why weight stigma itself, not weight, is the real risk factor
    • The racial history behind fat phobia and Eurocentric beauty standards, and how that bias still shows up in medicine today
    • Why shaming yourself has never once helped you change, and what your inner rebel is actually trying to tell you
    • My own story of hiding my arms for years, and finally wearing tank tops without a second thought
    • "Point positive," the whitewater kayaking principle I now use to retrain my brain out of shame spirals
    • The exact steps for shifting from shame to neutral to genuinely believing you're lovable and attractive exactly as you are

    Topics and keywords: body shame, body image and sex, somatic sex coach, feminist sex coach, overthinking sex, get out of your head in bed, weight stigma, health at every size, mindset work for body image, somatic intimacy coach

    Resources mentioned: Health at Every Size: The Surprising Truth About Your Weight, by Lindo Bacon, PhD https://lindobacon.com/health-at-every-size-book/

    Get my free guide: Get Out of Your Head: A Starter Guide to Releasing the Pressure, Shame, and "Shoulds" Around Intimacy at https://laurajurgens.com/guide

    More links:
    Substack at https://laurajurgens.substack.com/

    Pleasure Path Diagnostic here: https://laurajurgens.com/diagnostic/

    About me, testimonials, blog, bookings: https://laurajurgens.com/

    Wheel of Erotic emotions, go to: https://laurajurgens.com/wheel

    Copyright notice: All content in this podcast is copyrighted and copying, scraping, data mining, or using the content to train AI is prohibited.

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    33 分
  • The Safety Wound: When Your Body Was Never Home

    The Safety Wound: When Your Body Was Never Home
    2026/07/20
    Send us Fan MailPart 2 of the Attachment Wounds & Erotic Emotions SeriesMaybe you have a tendency to intellectualize or spiritualize your experience, but not always fully feel it. Or maybe you can only really arrive in your body when something intense is happening. This episode is about how that happens, how it shapes your erotic needs and the way you show up in intimacy, and what to do about it, if you choose. The safety wound is the earliest developmental wound we're covering in this series. It shows up in desires, in relationship, and in sex, plus in every day life where people with this wound have a tendency to dissociate. This episode is Part 2 in the Attachment Wounds and Erotic Emotions series — if you haven't listened to Episode 130 yet, start there first.What Is the Safety Wound? Origins and Early DevelopmentThe safety wound forms in the very first stage of life — from the womb through infancy, before language, and before verbal memory as we know it. The unmet need is fundamental: a sense that the world is safe to exist in, and that the body is a safe place to be.The causes can include traumatic birth, early separation from a birth mother through adoption or loss, time in a NICU, parental anxiety or depression, domestic chaos, overwhelming or unpredictable environments, or generational trauma. Often nothing was done consciously or intentionally. The body simply learned, very early, that being present was dangerous — and dissociation became the primary survival strategy.This pattern is recognized across multiple psychological traditions. In Hakomi, it's called the Sensitive-Withdrawn pattern. In the Neuroaffective Model (NATouch and NARM), it's the Connection survival style. In the Somatica Institute® framework, it's the UnSAFE wound. Different names, same consistently observed pattern — and none of them mean anything is wrong with you. This is just a coping style, and it carries some challenges that can be worked with.We'll also cover here:What the Safety Wound Feels Like: Dissociation, Floating, and Empathy OverloadHow the Safety Wound Shapes Erotic DesiresThe Safety Wound in Intimate Relationships and SexHealing the Safety Wound: Coming Back to Your BodyIn this episode:What the safety wound is, where it comes from, and why it forms so early — before language, before memoryWhy dissociation here is a brilliant survival adaptation, not a pathology — and how I recognized it in my own experienceHow this wound is named across Hakomi, NARM, and the Somatica Institute® framework — and why the older Freudian label is worth leaving behindWhat the safety wound feels like from the inside: the floating quality, the empathy overload, the pull toward intellectualizing and spiritual bypassing — and the deep current of pain, fear, or rage that often lives underneathHow the safety wound shapes erotic desire through two pathways: resolution (craving calm, merged, held, contained, seen) and repetition with agency (craving intensity, edge, risk, primal)Why craving dangerous or intense experiences in a chosen context makes complete sense for this wound — and why felt safety is still the prerequisite, even for the edgy stuffWhat the safety wound looks like in relationships: the connection that arrives and quietly disappears, and what partners tend to experience in bedWhat healing looks like for this wound — embodiment first — and why somatic work is more relevant here than therapy or spirituality aloneCompanion resource for this series: The Wheel of Erotic Emotions → laurajurgens.com/wheelTopics: safety wound, attachment wound, dissociation and intimacy, dissociation and desire, not in your body during sex, childhood trauma and sexuality, somatic sex coach, somatic intimacy coach, intimacy coach, erotic emotions, erotic desires, attachment and desire, childhood wounds relationships, sensitive withdrawn attachment, connection survival style, attachment, healing dissociation, embodiment and desire, feminist sex coachGet my free guide: Get Out of Your Head: A Starter Guide to Releasing the Pressure, Shame, and "Shoulds" Around Intimacy at https://laurajurgens.com/guideMore links: Substack at https://laurajurgens.substack.com/Pleasure Path Diagnostic here: https://laurajurgens.com/diagnostic/About me, testimonials, blog, bookings: https://laurajurgens.com/Wheel of Erotic emotions, go to: https://laurajurgens.com/wheelCopyright notice: All content in this podcast is copyrighted and copying, scraping, data mining, or using the content to train AI is prohibited.
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    19 分
  • Beyond Anxious and Avoidant: Here's What's Actually Driving Your Desires

    Beyond Anxious and Avoidant: Here's What's Actually Driving Your Desires
    2026/07/13

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    That thing that turns you on but you've never quite been able to explain? Or the relationship dynamic you keep recreating? Those aren't random. And they aren't fully explained by your attachment style.

    This is the introduction episode for a series on attachment wounds and erotic desires. Before we get into the specific wound patterns, I'm laying the foundation — what attachment styles actually are, where they fall short, and how to understand attachment patterns beyond the standard (avoidant, anxious, disorganized or secure) boxes. We'll talk about how our childhood experiences and specific attachment wounds tend to lead to specific turn-ons. Plus, why that's good news and will help you de-shame your desires.

    In this episode:

    • Why attachment styles are learned habits, not personality traits or life sentences
    • How your attachment response shifts depending on who you're with, how they communicate, and the specific felt safety of that relationship
    • Why the anxious/avoidant label doesn't capture the full picture — and what the deeper wounds underneath those patterns actually are
    • A preview of the five developmental wounds this series explores: safety, dependency, trust, autonomy, and worth
    • The core skills that underlie secure attachment — and why they're learnable, not fixed traits reserved for people who had easier childhoods
    • How early unmet needs shape not just your relational patterns but your specific erotic desires — and why that connection makes complete sense once you see it

    Companion resource for this series:

    Dr. R. Chris Fraley's attachment quiz at yourpersonality.net/relstructures/ — the most useful tool I've found for understanding your patterns in the context of specific relationships, not just in the abstract

    The Wheel of Erotic Emotions — a visual map of common erotic emotions organized by category → laurajurgens.com/wheel

    Topics: attachment styles and desire, anxious avoidant attachment, attachment wounds, childhood wounds and relationships, secure attachment skills, erotic desires, intimacy coach, somatic intimacy coach, feminist sex coach, attachment theory explained, attachment styles and sex life, desire and intimacy, how to become securely attached

    Get my free guide: Get Out of Your Head: A Starter Guide to Releasing the Pressure, Shame, and "Shoulds" Around Intimacy at https://laurajurgens.com/guide

    More links:
    Substack at https://laurajurgens.substack.com/

    Pleasure Path Diagnostic here: https://laurajurgens.com/diagnostic/

    About me, testimonials, blog, bookings: https://laurajurgens.com/

    Wheel of Erotic emotions, go to: https://laurajurgens.com/wheel

    Copyright notice: All content in this podcast is copyrighted and copying, scraping, data mining, or using the content to train AI is prohibited.

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    39 分
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