Nobody really talks about what happens after treatment. The messy, vulnerable in-between where your teen or young adult is no longer in crisis but still doesn’t quite feel at home in the world. They’ve changed… and they can feel it. But instead of feeling proud, they often feel disconnected, misunderstood, or even rejected by their peers.

They’ve gained emotional intelligence, insight, and tools most of their previous friends don’t have, and that can be incredibly isolating. Especially when it feels like no one else is speaking the same emotional language.

In this episode, I’m joined again by Hayley from ‘Not Therapy’ Coaching. Hayley is a former “troubled teen” turned coach who now helps young people reintegrate after treatment. We talk about what it really looks like to find community and belonging after treatment, and why so many teens and young adults feel like outsiders when they come home.

But most importantly, we share tangible ways you, as a parent, can support your teen in building meaningful relationships, without pushing, hovering, or downplaying how hard this part of the journey can be.

In this episode on helping your teen find community & belonging after treatment, we discuss:

• Why teens returning from treatment often feel more mature than their peers;
• How to validate your teen’s experience without rushing them to “get back to normal”;
• What real community can look like, and why it’s not always a big group;
• Small but powerful ways to help your teen rebuild connection & community (without overstepping);
• How to model healthy community and friendships in your own life;
• Why online relationships matter more than you might think;
• What to do when your teen doesn’t show interest in anything;
• Ideas for low-pressure, real-world ways to help them meet like-minded peers;
• And more!

More about Hayley Caddes
Hayley Caddes is a "former troubled teen" who spent her last years of high school in wilderness and residential treatment programs. Based on her experience, she co-founded Not Therapy to provide peer-to-peer coaching for teens and young adults who feel like therapy hasn’t been the right fit or who are transitioning out of therapeutic programs back into the real world. As young people who have been in their clients’ shoes, Hayley & Collin’s approach is rooted in personal expertise.

Learn more about Not Therapy on their website or blog, connect with them on LinkedIn, or directly book a free call.

Listen to our previous episode with Hayley: 97. Parenting Tips from Former Troubled Teens Hayley and Collin from ‘Not Therapy’


Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.


Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

“You’re so controlling!” Did your kid ever tell you that?

If your teen or young adult constantly complains about your rules, expectations, or structure, saying that you’re controlling them, you're not alone. Many parents trying to set healthy boundaries with their teen end up questioning themselves the moment they face pushback. You want to listen, validate, and stay connected… but does that mean giving up on the structure your kid actually needs?

In this episode, Seth and I unpack the real-life tension between honoring your teen’s autonomy and holding firm to the healthy boundaries that keep your family grounded. We explore how to stay steady when your teen accuses you of being too controlling, and how to help them recognize their own agency, even when they’re frustrated.

Holding boundaries with a struggling teen is hard. Because yes, they will complain, but that doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong.

In this episode on setting healthy boundaries with your teen, we discuss:

• Why your teen might call structure “control”, and how to respond;
• Ways to reinforce boundaries while still respecting your teen’s autonomy;
• How to offer choice and accountability without giving up authority;
• The role of deadlines, check-ins, and letting natural consequences play out;
• Why your values matter more than avoiding conflict;
• The power of listening without renegotiating everything;
• How to shift from “nagging” to supportive accountability;
• And more!

Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

When you’re desperate for support, it’s tempting to turn to extended family. But sometimes their “help” just makes things harder.

It’s a common and painful dynamic for many struggling parents: your teen is having a hard time, and suddenly the grandparents or extended family start weighing in with passive-aggressive comments, outdated advice, or judgmental questions. You’re already doing everything you can to support your struggling teen, and now it feels like you have to defend yourself, too.

In this episode, Seth and I talk about how to set boundaries with grandparents and extended family members when their “support” actually undermines your parenting. We explore the emotional toll it takes when you start parenting from someone else’s perspective, how that impacts your teen or young adult kid, and how to reclaim your authority and clarity in the midst of confusing family dynamics.

We also talk about where to turn instead, how to identify the right kind of support, and what resourcing can look like when emotions are high and you feel alone.

If you’re a struggling parent trying to support your teen while navigating family pressure and judgment, we recorded this episode for you.

In this episode on setting boundaries with extended family, we discuss:

• Why parenting a struggling kid often brings out unsolicited advice from extended family;
• The generational gap in emotional support and what validation really looks like;
• How grandparents may form an opinion without understanding the full picture;
• The impact on your teen when you start parenting based on others' opinions;
• How to recognize your emotional needs and release shame and guilt;
• Three types of resourcing when you’re feeling overwhelmed;
• How to protect your teen’s story, and decide who’s safe to share it with;
• Practical ways to hold boundaries with grandparents and other family members;
• And more!

Looking for support?

🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:

Leaving a review

Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

What if the solution isn’t sending your teen away?

When your child is struggling and the emotional rollercoaster has taken over your home, wilderness therapy might seem like the only real option. But what if it’s not the right option for your family?

Today, I’m joined by mom Kathy and therapist Jen Murphy to talk about a different kind of approach for struggling teens, young adults, and families. Kathy shares her family’s journey of navigating ADHD, impulsivity, and emotional dysregulation in their teen daughter, and the decision not to pursue wilderness therapy, even after months of research, interviews, and a scholarship offer.

Instead, they chose something that suited their family much better: a custom-designed family intensive that brought everyone together for growth, connection, and real change. And the results? A transformation that didn’t require shipping anyone off, but helped her family nonetheless.

Whether you’re on the fence about wilderness therapy or just wondering what else is out there, this episode will show you that there are powerful, connected, and sustainable options for your family.

In this episode on family intensives as an alternative to wilderness therapy, we discuss:

• What made wilderness therapy feel too extreme for Kathy’s teen and how she knew it;
• The emotional toll of trying to “solve” a struggling child;
• How Kathy and her husband came to different conclusions on what steps to take to help their teen daughter and family;
• Why therapist Jen Murphy focuses on family systems work instead of “fixing the teen”;
• What a custom family intensive actually looks like (hint: fun, therapeutic, and real);
• How family dynamics, sibling relationships, and parent alignment shape long-term outcomes;
• What continued integration support looks like after the intensive;
• The surprising impact this experience had on the whole family, and why Kathy would do it again in a heartbeat;
• And more!

Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

About Jen Murphy
Jen Murphy is a Mental Health Therapist and Family Coach with 25+ years of experience supporting families through treatment and transition. She’s the co-developer of the H.O.M.E. parenting model and offers both virtual and in-person coaching to help families build healthier patterns, improve communication, and strengthen relationships.

Learn more about Jen’s work at www.altitudefamilycoaching.com

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

You’re trying to help. They think you’re trying to control them. Sound familiar?

As parents, we often step in with the best intentions: to protect, guide, or simply make things easier. But when your teen or young adult shuts down, gets defensive, or accuses you of being controlling, it can leave you feeling confused, hurt, and stuck. So, what do you do when your support backfires?

In this episode, Seth and I unpack a tricky dynamic in parenting teens and young adults: offering advice that isn’t wanted. We explore why “help” can feel like judgment, how even kind intentions can come off as condescending, and what to say instead when your child shares something hard.

We talk about how to respond without overstepping, and how to build trust by listening instead of fixing. Whether your teen is venting about a problem or navigating serious challenges, knowing how to offer support without triggering resistance is key.

If you’ve ever been told “You’re too controlling,” or found yourself thinking “I’m just trying to help,” have a listen to today’s episode.

In this episode on when your teen doesn’t want your advice, we discuss:

• What to do when your teen shares something but doesn’t want your advice;
• How unsolicited advice can feel belittling, even when you mean well;
• The difference between emotional safety and intellectual solutions;
• Why teens are more likely to come to you when they feel respected;
• Simple questions to ask before giving advice;
• How to support autonomy without stepping back completely;
• Why learning to “hold space” is a skill worth practicing for parents of struggling teens;
• And more.

Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

"I'm sorry" might be the hardest two words to say to your teen. But what if apologizing is actually the key to rebuilding trust and connection?

In today’s episode, I sit down with therapist Dana VanRenterghem to unpack the real challenge of taking accountability with our teens and young adults. We dive into those messy moments when emotions run high, technology fails, and communication breaks down, and explore how a genuine apology can transform your relationship with your struggling teen or young adult.

We'll explore why parents struggle to apologize to their kids and how our own emotional baggage gets in the way of meaningful repair. Dana also shares practical strategies for connecting with your teen, even when it feels impossible.

Whether you're navigating a tough conversation or feeling stuck in a cycle of misunderstandings, this episode offers hope and real-world tools for parents who want to show up authentically for their kids.

In this episode on how to apologize to your teen or young adult kid, we discuss:

• Why apologizing to your teen or young adult feels so difficult;
• The three-step process of genuine repair;
• How to take accountability without shame;
• Maintaining your role as a caregiver;
• Modeling emotional intelligence for your teens;
• And more!

Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

More about Dana VanRenterghem
Dana VanRenterghem, LMSW (She/Her/Hers) is a social worker who believes in the healing power of relationships.

Dana graduated from Central College with a Bachelor of Arts degree in sociology and a minor in communication studies; she was also a proud member of the Central College softball team during that time. Upon completion of undergrad, she spent most of her young career working with at-risk youth in a multitude of roles. Dana has provided direct care to teenagers in multiple residential settings, supported families in reunification and permanency efforts, and advocated for LGBTQ youth in the non-profit realm. She has a passion for helping people grow as individuals while reconnecting with loved ones who have been estranged.

Dana earned her Master of Social Work degree from the University of Denver with a concentration in mental health and trauma and has a foundational belief that humans need others to heal. Dana finds joy in seeing others reach their full potential and believes that empathy is at the core of meaningful engagement. Prior to joining the Family Intensive Institute team Dana served as the clinical director of a residential treatment center helping young adult women + heal from trauma and attachment wounds using the Integrated Attachment Model (IAM), Internal Family Systems (IFS), and Eye-Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR).

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

When your kid makes harmful or self-destructive choices, it's natural to want to step in, correct, and fix. But at some point, empathy might feel like enabling. How do we listen with compassion without sending the message that their behavior is okay?

In this episode, Seth and I unpack the fear that being supportive might mean condoning poor behavior. We look at the complexity of parenting teens and young adults who are making hard choices, like skipping school or selling drugs, and explore how to respond without judgment while still holding firm boundaries.

We talk about what it means to truly witness a struggling teen without rescuing, and how empathy, when done right, can be one of the most powerful tools for encouraging change.

This conversation is for parents who are walking the fine line between love and limits, and wondering how to stay connected without giving up their own values. If it’s ever felt impossible to be both supportive and firm, I hope this episode will help bring clarity.

In this episode on parenting without enabling, we explore:

• Why empathy doesn’t equal approval, and how to hold space without condoning;
• What supportive parenting really looks like during a crisis;
• How to stay grounded when your teen says they want help… and then backs out;
• The difference between rescuing and respecting your teen’s process;
• Practical ideas for setting boundaries without emotional reactivity;
• What to do when natural consequences are out of your control;
• Why ignoring a behavior can actually feel more like condoning it;
• And more on parenting without enabling!

Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!
🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

When our kids struggle to make better choices, we often focus on offering consequences, creating a plan, and following through. It’s a natural instinct to try harder, create structure, and hold boundaries. But what often gets overlooked is the role that beliefs play in motivating behavior change, both our kids’ beliefs about themselves and our own beliefs as parents.

That’s what I explore in today’s episode with teen mentor and author Michael Corbett. Michael shares how a deep understanding of our internal world - our thoughts, beliefs, and emotional patterns - is essential not just for behavior change, but for long-term self-awareness and growth.

He’s been there himself, navigating a painful inner world as a kid while everything looked “fine” from the outside. Now, he uses that experience to help teens and young adults become more emotionally self-reliant and motivated from within, not just compliant on the outside.

If you’ve ever felt frustrated that your teen or young-adult child knows what to do but doesn’t follow through, or if you're wondering how to support your kid who’s shut down after treatment, this conversation will offer a refreshing and compassionate new lens.

In this episode on motivating behavior change in teens & young adults, we explore:

• Why lasting behavior change starts with shifting internal beliefs;
• How to help your teen or young adult clarify their values;
• What emotional self-reliance really looks like (and how to support it);
• How to talk with your teen about values without triggering resistance;
• Why your parenting mindset matters just as much as your strategy;
• How to support a teen who seems “done” with therapy after treatment;
• And much more!

Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.