Is your son glued to his screen and telling you, “you just don’t get it”? But as a parent nowadays, you are navigating a world that looks very different from the one you grew up in. Video games double as social spaces. Screens shape friendships and status. And many teen boys are quietly struggling with anxiety, uncertainty about the future, and pressure they don’t always know how to talk about.

So how do you stay connected to your son when it feels like you’re speaking completely different languages?

In this episode, I sit down with licensed professional counselor Jarrod Hoffman, who specializes in working with teen boys. Jarrod shares what he sees every day in his counseling practice, from the hidden pressures boys face online to the misunderstandings that often happen between parents and sons.

Together, we explore why many boys say their parents “just don’t get it,” how video games and online spaces shape teen friendships today, and why anxiety is showing up so frequently in the lives of young men. Most importantly, we talk about how you can support your sons without rescuing them, but instead help them build the competence and confidence they need to become independent adults.

Jarrod also shares a simple but powerful communication tool parents can start using immediately to open up better conversations with their teen.

If you're raising a teenage boy and wondering how to stay connected while still helping him grow into his own independence, tune in. It’s a good one!

In this episode on parenting teen boys, we discuss:

• Why many (teenage) boys feel misunderstood by their parents;
• How video games and online spaces have become a central part of teen boys’ social lives;
• The rising levels of anxiety many boys are experiencing today;
• Why confidence grows through competence, failure, and real-life challenges;
• The difference between keeping kids safe and helping them become capable;
• How parents can avoid rescuing and instead support healthy independence in their sons;
• A powerful listening technique that helps teens think for themselves;
• How reflective listening can strengthen communication and trust with your teenage boy.

More about Jarrod Hoffman

Jarrod is a licensed professional counselor. He believes that teens are resilient and that parents are valuable. He was a teenage boy himself from 2004-2011. He loves reading books and is still on the fence about Messi or Ronaldo. He's experienced many life-changes, like his parent’s divorce when he was 10 and his dad's death when he was 28. He strives to help others find healing from wounds and triumph through suffering.

Looking for support?

🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:

Leaving a review

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And remember parents, the change begins with us.

You step in because you love your child.
You pay for treatment again because you’re scared.
You cover the rent because you don’t want them on the street.
You call to check in because something feels “off.”
You offer solutions because you can’t stand watching them struggle.

Of course you do.

But here’s the hard question:

What if, sometimes, the helping is reinforcing learned helplessness?

What if the message, completely unintentionally, becomes: “You can’t handle this without me.”

Learned helplessness doesn’t develop because parents don’t care. It often develops because you care so deeply that you rush in to protect, soften, fix, or prevent discomfort.

If you’ve ever felt torn between protecting your child and preparing them for real life, this conversation is for you.

Seth and I talk about how learned helplessness can form when tasks are repeatedly taken over, when consequences are softened too quickly, or when rescue becomes the pattern. We explore what it actually looks like to allow your teen or young adult child their discovery process, even when that means sitting in your own discomfort.

Because sometimes the most powerful message you can send your struggling teen is:

“I believe you can handle this.”

In this episode on learned helplessness, we discuss:

• What learned helplessness is and how it quietly develops in your teen or young adult child;
• How loving, generous parenting can unintentionally reinforce helplessness;
• The difference between necessary support and rescue;
• Why sitting with your own anxiety can change everything;
• How to evaluate when to step in, and when to step back;
• The long-term impact of allowing your teen to build capability;
• And more!

Looking for support?

🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:

Leaving a review

Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

You’ve heard me say it over and over again: You have to let go of what is out of your control. But does that mean you just stop parenting? Are you just supposed to sit back and watch your teen or young adult fail and make mistakes?

When you start stepping back from micromanaging, rescuing, and constantly stepping in, it often doesn’t feel like relief. It feels like you’re doing something wrong. You’re not the only one feeling like this. Today’s society reinforces helicopter parenting and letting that go can feel unnatural, confusing, and emotionally intense.

That’s why Seth and I unpack today why this shift feels so uncomfortable, what teens and young adults actually experience when parents pull back, and how to stay emotionally present while still holding boundaries.

Letting go doesn’t mean disappearing. It means learning how to support without rescuing, guide without controlling, and stay connected even when things are hard.

In this episode on parenting without helicoptering, we discuss:

• Why letting go often makes parents feel like they’re doing nothing;
• What teens and young adults experience when parents stop micromanaging and helicoptering;
• The difference between emotional support and rescuing;
• Why boundaries without follow-through break trust;
• How kids sometimes test connection by making it “all or nothing”;
• Why consequences can be powerful teachers (even when they’re hard to watch);
• How to stay present and supportive without fixing everything;
• What it means to parent in the gray area instead of going black-and-white;
• And more!

Looking for support?

🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:

Leaving a review

Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

The thought of wilderness therapy for your struggling kid can feel simultaneously hopeful and terrifying. Is it too extreme? Is it necessary? How do you even know? And how do you trust the people who would be caring for your child?

In this episode, I sit down with Danny Frazer, one of the founding partners of Open Sky Wilderness Therapy, to talk honestly about what makes wilderness therapy work, and what doesn’t. We explore why Open Sky stood out in the field, what parents should look for in a program, and why the single biggest predictor of success isn’t your teen’s effort… it’s yours.

Danny shares the origin story behind Open Sky’s family-centered model, why enrolling the whole family changes everything, and what he wishes every parent knew before making this incredibly hard decision. We also talk about the grief in the field right now, the contraction of wilderness programs, and why he believes the future still holds hope for nature-based healing.

If you are weighing treatment options for your struggling teen or young adult child, or simply trying to understand what wilderness therapy really involves, this conversation will give you clarity, perspective, and compassion.

In this episode on wilderness therapy for struggling teens, we discuss:

• What made Open Sky’s approach different in the wilderness therapy field;
• Why parent engagement is the biggest predictor of success in treatment;
• How to know when wilderness therapy might be the right next step;
• Red flags and green flags to look for in a wilderness program;
• The importance of accreditation, transparency, and leadership involvement;
• Why most parents don’t regret intervening, even when the decision feels agonizing;
• The emotional toll on families (and program leaders) during treatment;
• Where wilderness therapy is headed and what the future may look like.

Looking for support?

🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:

Leaving a review

Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

Every day, you’re watching your teen or young adult make choices you wouldn’t make, and feeling the constant pull to intervene. You see the risks. You imagine the consequences. And somewhere along the way, hope for progress turns into pressure for outcomes.

Today, Seth and I talk about what happens when parents become attached to how growth is supposed to look: sobriety first, independence next, emotional maturity on a timeline that makes sense to you. And how easily those expectations, even when they come from love, can turn into frustration, judgment, or disconnection.

This conversation invites you into a different role: one where your job isn’t to manage your teen or young adult’s path, but to stay present while they walk it. We explore why letting go of expectations for your teen doesn’t mean approving of everything they do. There are ways to trust their process and actually protect the relationship long enough for real change to take root.

If you’re exhausted from waiting for things to “click,” confused about what progress even looks like anymore, or afraid that stepping back means failing as a parent, let us offer you a reframe.

In this episode on letting go of expectations for your teen or young adult, we discuss:

• The difference between supporting your teen and managing their life;
• Why parents often mistake outcomes for growth;
• How expectations can quietly turn into pressure, judgment, or enmeshment;
• What it means to witness your teen’s discovery process without trying to fix it;
• The difference between providing opportunity and controlling direction;
• How curiosity builds safety where judgment shuts communication down;
• Why connection matters more than getting the “right” result;
• And more!

Looking for support?

🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:

Leaving a review

Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

When your teen is engaging in self-destructive behaviors, what you usually see is the tip of the iceberg. You see the cutting, the substance use, the school refusal, the shutdowns or blowups, and it’s scary, confusing, and exhausting.

But what’s happening underneath those behaviors is often invisible. Big emotions. Overwhelm. Shame. Anxiety. A nervous system that’s trying to survive. And when all you can see is the behavior, misunderstanding and frustration are almost inevitable.

In this episode, I’m joined by therapist, author, and DBT clinician Katie May to help parents slow down and start understanding self-destructive behaviors in their teen or young adult kid through a very different lens. One rooted in the idea that all behavior makes sense, especially when you understand what it’s doing for them.

We talk about the iceberg analogy and why focusing only on the “tip” keeps parents stuck in fear, power struggles, and reactivity. Katie helps decode behaviors like self-harm, suicidal ideation, substance use, and school avoidance as attempts to regulate overwhelming emotions, not attention-seeking or manipulation.

Let’s have a look at how to respond to destructive behaviors in ways that reduce shame, build trust, and create the conditions for real change.

In this episode on understanding self-destructive behaviors, we discuss:

• The iceberg analogy: why behavior is only the tip of what’s really happening;
• What “all behavior makes sense” actually means for parents;
• How emotional dysregulation fuels self-harm, substance use, and school refusal in teens and young adults;
• Why parents often get stuck reacting to behavior instead of responding to their child’s needs;
• How your own regulation as a parent can de-escalate intense situations;
• Validating your teen’s emotions without excusing harmful behavior;
• How boundaries, connection, and repair work together;
• And more!

More about Katie May

Katie K. May is a licensed therapist, author, speaker, and group practice owner. She founded Creative Healing, a multi-location teen support center in the Philadelphia area, and wrote the #1 Amazon best-seller You’re On Fire, It’s Fine. With lived experience as a teen who turned to self-harm, Katie is one of only 11 Linehan Board Certified DBT Clinicians in Pennsylvania, the gold standard treatment for self-harm and suicidal behaviors. She equips parents and clinicians with practical, trauma-informed tools to decode behavior as survival and create lasting change.

Learn more about Katie on her website: https://youreonfireitsfine.com/ or connect with her on Facebook or Instagram.

Looking for support?

🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:

Leaving a review

Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

Have you ever found yourself thinking, “This has to be rock bottom… surely it can’t get worse than this,”? As painful as that thought is, it can also feel strangely comforting. Because if this is the worst of it… then maybe things will finally start to get better.

When your teen or young adult is making painful, risky, or destructive choices, the idea of rock bottom can feel like a lifeline. A way to survive the moment. A way to believe that relief, change, or recovery must be just around the corner. But what if that hope is actually keeping you stuck?

In this episode, I’m joined by Seth for a deeply honest conversation about the false hope of rock bottom and why so many parents unknowingly use it as a way to predict, control, or emotionally prepare for outcomes that are completely out of their hands.

We talk about why rock bottom isn’t a clear turning point, why it’s not something parents can identify or decide for someone else, and how placing your hope there often leads to more disappointment, helplessness, and heartbreak. We also talk about what happens when you stop waiting for someone else to change, and gently turn your focus back to yourself.

This isn’t about giving up hope. It’s about letting go of a belief that quietly keeps parents stuck, and finding a steadier, more sustainable way to get through the uncertainty of parenting a struggling teen or young adult.

In this episode on the false hope of rock bottom, we discuss:

• Why parents cling to the idea of rock bottom when their teen is struggling;
• How rock bottom becomes a false sense of hope and control;
• Why rock bottom is not a fixed point and can always move;
• The emotional cost of waiting for your teen to “finally change”;
• How expectations around rock bottom set parents up for more hurt;
• The difference between reflection and prediction when it comes to personal lows;
• What to focus on when you can’t control your teen’s choices but still need to survive the moment;
• And more.

Looking for support?

🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:

Leaving a review

Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

You’re doing everything you can, and yet you feel like you’re failing as a parent… Believe me, you’re not alone, and today, I’d even like to offer you a change of perspective: What if you’ve been giving the wrong job description as a parent?

You might believe your role is to keep your kids happy, safe, and “on track.” And when it inevitably becomes clear that you don’t have any control over this during the teen years, the shame comes creeping in fast, right? You start questioning every decision, every boundary, every reaction, and it can leave you feeling like a failing parent, even when you’re trying harder than ever.

In this conversation, I’m joined by life coach and fellow parent Jessica Stewart, who names something so many of us feel but rarely say out loud: parents were given the wrong job description. Together, we explore why fix-it mode is so tempting, why it often backfires, and what actually helps when parenting a struggling teen starts to feel overwhelming.

This episode is an invitation to step out of fear-based parenting, loosen your grip on control, and refocus on the only place you truly have influence: yourself. If you’re exhausted, discouraged, or quietly wondering if you’re messing everything up, tune in, I recorded this one for you.

In this episode on feeling like you’re failing as a parent, we discuss:

• Why so many parents feel like failures, especially during the teen years;
• How the “fix-it” and rescue mindset keeps parents stuck;
• What it really means to let go without giving up;
• A healthier parenting “job description” that actually works;
• How connection, acceptance, love, and emotional regulation change everything in your family;
• Why focusing on your own behavior is the most powerful parenting move you can make;
• And more.

Looking for support?

🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

More about Jessica Stewart

Jessica Stewart is a certified Life Coach, Respiratory Therapist, Certified Tobacco Educator, and host of the podcast The Teen Years Toolkit For Moms. Having raised two teenage sons of her own, she now helps parents of teenagers understand how their own emotional management is the best tool for raising teens. She is currently accepting clients for her 1:1 coaching practice.

You can connect with Jessica on her website, find her on Instagram or Facebook, or reach out at Jessicastewartcoach@gmail.com.

You can support the show by:

Leaving a review

Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.