Is your child pushing back, arguing over everything, ignoring rules, or seeming impossible to parent right now? It’s easy to wonder: Is this normal teen behavior… or something more serious like ODD?

When conflict becomes the norm at home, many parents start fearing they’re losing their child. You might even feel like you’re failing as a parent. But not all defiance is ODD. Sometimes, what looks like defiance is actually normal development, emotional dysregulation, stress, or a family dynamic that can be changed.

In this conversation, I’m joined by counselor, parenting coach, and school counselor, and mom herself, Brittney King, to unpack the difference between typical teen pushback and Oppositional Defiant Disorder. We talk about why many parents misunderstand defiance, how power struggles accidentally fuel the problem, and what helps teens far more than lectures, anger, or making consequences harsher.

If you’re parenting a struggling teen or young adult and feeling exhausted by constant conflict, tune in to learn a ton from Brittney.

In this episode on ODD in teens, we discuss:

• The difference between normal teen behavior and true ODD
• Why defiance can be a healthy part of adolescent development
• How ADHD and emotional dysregulation can look like Oppositional Defiant Disorder
• Why lectures and punishments often make conflict worse
• The two biggest reasons teens stop opening up to parents
• Why connection must come before correction
• How clear boundaries and consistent consequences build trust
• What curiosity can reveal beneath your teen’s behavior
• How to become the safe place your teen turns to when it matters most

About our guest

Brittney King is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC), ADHD-certified provider (ADHD-CCSP), and parenting coach who helps parents of struggling teens feel more confident and connected.

As a junior high school counselor, she sees firsthand how ADHD and executive functioning challenges impact teens, and the stress it creates for families. As a mom of 5, including one neurodivergent child (AuDHD), Brittney blends professional expertise with real-life experience. She’s passionate about helping parents raise resilient, emotionally healthy kids and feel supported every step of the way.

Check out her free webinar for parents of neurodivergent kids who are looking for answers on how to help their child at home & at school

Download her free worksheet for ways to support healthy mental and emotional development in your teen.

Looking for support?

🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🧘Learn how to respond in hard moments, without losing your cool, the relationship, or yourself, inside my 6-week Boundaries Masterclass.

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:

Leaving a review

Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

When you find out your child is harming themselves, you’re thrown into a world you don’t understand.

Fear hits first. Then confusion. Maybe even anger.
Is this a cry for help? Is it manipulation? Is my child suicidal?
And most of all… what am I supposed to do?

If your teen is self-harming, you’re not alone in these questions. And you’re not failing as a parent.

In this conversation, I sit down with therapist Courtney Deadman to unpack what teen self-harm actually is, and what it isn’t. Because so much of what parents believe about self-harm keeps them stuck in fear, reactivity, and disconnection… when what their teen or young adult kid needs most is something very different.

We talk about why self-harm is often a coping mechanism (not necessarily a suicide attempt), why punishment and consequences can make things worse, and how you can begin to approach your teen in a way that builds trust instead of shutting them down.

In this episode on when your teen or young adult kid is self-harming, we discuss:

• What self-harm actually means (and why it’s more nuanced than you think)
• The difference between self-harm and suicidal intent
• Why some teens use self-harm as a coping mechanism
• The biggest mistakes parents make when they discover self-harm
• Why consequences and punishment often backfire
• How to talk to your teen without judgment or fear taking over
• What “harm reduction” looks like and why it matters
• The role of curiosity, trust, and connection in your response towards your struggling teen
• How self-harm shows up differently across genders
• Why supporting yourself as a parent is essential in this process

More about Courtney Deadman

Driven by a genuine passion for human growth, Court sees therapy as a collaborative, sometimes messy, but ultimately transformative process. Her goal isn’t perfection - it’s helping people reclaim ownership of their lives and move forward on their own terms. They balance compassion with accountability, helping clients make sense of their experiences without minimizing the impact of trauma. Whether working through longstanding wounds or recent upheaval, she focuses on empowering individuals to reconnect with their own resilience, voice, and capacity for change.

Looking for support?

🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🧘Learn how to respond in hard moments, without losing your cool, the relationship, or yourself, inside my 6-week Boundaries Masterclass.

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:

Leaving a review

Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

Your teen’s behavior might feel confusing, frustrating, or even manipulative… but when you understand the boy brain, it starts to make a lot more sense.

In this episode, I sit down with Mark Spalding (LCSW) to unpack what’s really going on beneath behaviors like complaining, blaming, or playing the victim, and why so many parents feel emotionally pulled in when it happens.

We start with a situation many parents know all too well: your teen calls home (especially from treatment), and everything they share is negative. They sound convincing. Urgent. Sometimes even alarming. And you’re left feeling confused, guilty, and unsure what’s actually true.

But let’s also zoom out a bit.

Because these moments aren’t just about what your teen is saying. They’re about how the adolescent brain works.

We explain how the boy brain works: from the powerful drive for validation and belonging, to the imbalance between reward and consequence, to the speed at which emotions override logic.

When you understand this, you start to see why your teen might lean into certain behaviors, and why it’s so easy for you, as a parent, to get pulled in.

Most importantly, we talk about how to respond in a way that supports your teen without rescuing them and how to step out of patterns that may actually be holding them back.

In this episode on the boy brain explained, we discuss:

• Why teens often focus on the negative (also during calls from treatment)
• What the “proximity effect” is and how it impacts your teen’s reactions
• Why teens may take on a victim role and why it can feel rewarding
• The neuroscience behind teen behavior, incl. emotional reactivity and reward sensitivity
• Why belonging and validation can outweigh consequences in the boy brain
• How teens can hold parents emotionally hostage (often without realizing it)
• What’s happening in your teen’s brain when logic “doesn’t work”
• How to respond to your teenage boy without overreacting, rescuing, or escalating
• Why competence is what builds confidence
• How over-helping can unintentionally undermine your teen’s growth
• The role of parent guilt, fear, and past experiences in these dynamics
• How to stay grounded, set healthier boundaries, and increase your influence as a parent

More about Mark Spalding

Mark Spalding is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified Family Life Educator, trained Neurotherapist, and Field Instructor at the University of Utah. He is the co-founder of Live Strong House, Utah's premier therapeutic boarding school for boys, as well as the owner of Milestone, their young adult boys program.

Looking for support?

🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🧘Learn how to respond in hard moments, without losing your cool, the relationship, or yourself, inside my 6-week Boundaries Masterclass.

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:

Leaving a review

Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.