Dr. Eddie Capparucci and Tami answer participant questions about sex, love, and addiction. They cover the importance of honoring boundaries, effective check-ins, managing anger, and finding hope when it feels like your addiction has taken over your life.

TAKEAWAYS:

[2:40] How do I process multiple inner children in me?

[5:07] Why has the language around betrayal become sanatized?

[11:06] What can I do to finally overcome repeated slips?

[17:08] My partner broke my boundary. Now what?

[22:55] Should I prioritize finding my why or my sobriety work?

[28:09] My spouse refuses to seek help. How can I help?

[31:08] I have too many buckets and I'm constantly disregulated. Help!

[34:25] How can my betraying partner understand the damage of trickled out disclosures?

[38:17] Can check-ins be triggering to the point that they're useful?

[45:10] How can a betraying partner rebuild trust?

[50:18] Why am I afraid of my husband's anger?

[54:46] Is there any hope for an addict like me?

RESOURCES:

Seekingintegrity.com

Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com

Sexandrelationshiphealing.com

Intherooms.com

Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss

Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss

Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss

Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss

Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.

QUOTES

• "If your relationships are hurting, why would you want to delay getting the help?"

• "Do you understand what drives you toward a slip?"

• "The most important thing you can do to rebuild trust is engage with your partner."

• "Your behaviors don't define who you are – if you are willing to change them."

John Taylor and Tami explore the importance of engaging executive functioning in relationship repair and recovery. John offers several questions that partners can ask to jump-start engagement in rebuilding trust. They then answer participant questions about transactional relationships, realistic expectations for change after 25 years of betrayal, and the reality of building a relationship with someone who is selfish.

TAKEAWAYS:

[1:10] Why your brain stops working after D-day.

[4:30] Hypervigilance is your brain trying to keep you safe.

[6:45] Questions to ask that engage the frontal lobe.

[7:30] What are we doing here?

[13:58] What are our priorities?

[17:35] What roles and responsibilities do we need to step into?

[21:37] What am I personally doing to align with these priorities?

[25:45] Have I considered my partner in my actions?

[29:44] Effectively reducing tension in a partnership.

[33:26] Do you really want it to go back to how it was before?

[34:40] Can we stay together in a low-level transactional companionship?

[38:05] What if we don't have a shared value system?

[41:57] Is it possible for him to be functional when he's never made lasting changes?

[46:38] Is there really no relationship with someone who is selfish?

[54:02] How important are postnuptual agreements?

RESOURCES:

Seekingintegrity.com

Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com

Sexandrelationshiphealing.com

Intherooms.com

Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss

Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss

Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss

Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss

Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.

QUOTES

• "Things getting calm doesn't switch how the brain functions."

• "'Fair' means the person who has been betrayed gets to take their time to deliberate and think about terms for continuance."

• "Vengeance is not restitution or repair."

• "We have to coax our executive functioning into existence again when it's been compromised."

• "We have to believe what people show us more than what they tell us."

Dr. Rob and Tami answer participant questions about boundaries, chronic betrayal, and recovery timelines. They address the pregnant partner, the betrayed spouse with an STD, and the mother of teens who wants to keep her children from following down the path of addiction and betrayal.

TAKEAWAYS:

[1:30] Can ketamine EMDR help my betrayed wife?

[7:10] I'm pregnant. Should I stop checking in on his recovery?

[14:35] Boundaries are set to keep you safe.

[16:58] Why should he stop acting out when it has increased the intensity of our sex life?

[24:09] Can an addict like me actually come out of this on the other side?

[34:10] Am I really the victim?

[36:52] How can I build trust after chronic betrayal?

[40:26] He acted out in my one deal-breaker way. Now what?

[47:30] How do couples recovery from sexual betrayal and compromised health?

[50:48] How can I talk to my boys so they don't go down the same path as their father?

RESOURCES:

Seekingintegrity.com

Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com

Sexandrelationshiphealing.com

Intherooms.com

Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss

Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss

Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss

Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss

Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.

QUOTES

• "He should be showing you with his actions when his recovery is solid."

• "He's going to do what he's going to do whether you ask or you don't."

• "You have to do what you need to do to take care of you regardless of what he does."

• "Addicts are always either moving forward in recovery or sliding back."