The Proverbs encourage us to speak in certain ways, and to avoid speaking in other ways. Let’s frame four prayers from the book of Proverbs, asking for God’s help with our words.

Lord, help me to speak with restraint
The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things (15:28).

Words pour out of the mouth of the wicked, but the heart of the righteous ponders how to answer. Self-expression is a leading idol in our culture. “I must say what I think. I must say what I feel!” Must you? “A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back” (29:11).

Lord, help me to speak with humility
Let another praise you, and not your own mouth; a stranger, and not your own lips (27:2).

Lord, help me to speak with wisdom
To make an apt answer is a joy to a man, and a word in season, how good it is! (15:23). What you say may be right, but if the way you say it is harsh, it will do no good. The right word spoken at the right time in the right way is a thing of great beauty.

Lord, help me to speak with grace
Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body (16:24). Don’t ever fall for the idea that soft, gentle, or gracious means weak. “With patience a ruler may be persuaded, and a soft tongue will break a bone” (25:15).

Try to take this in: A soft tongue, a gentle tongue, a gracious tongue, is stronger than bone! Grace can change a heart of stone. How did God change your heart? Was it not His grace that won you? Was it not His kindness that led you to repentance (Rom. 2:4)?

Lord, help us speak with restraint, humility, wisdom, and grace.

Which of these prayers would be most helpful to you today?

What you say comes out of you, but it also goes down inside you. It goes to the stomach (18:20). Your own cursing will go deep down into your own soul. They are bitter fruits, and they will make your soul sick. You will eat your own words.

The tongue is the means by which we bring great help or harm to others and to ourselves. Speaking life words or death words will have a profound effect on others, but it will also have a profound effect on you.

We all eat our own words, and what we eat will either be sweet or bitter. What brings help to others will bring help to us. What brings harm to others will bring harm to us.

Consider this: “On the day of judgement people will give account for every careless word they speak” (Mat. 12:36). God will hold us accountable not only for what we did but also for what we said. Freedom of speech is a wonderful gift and an awesome responsibility. One day, we will have to give an account for every careless word that has come from our lips.

God hears and knows every word that you have ever spoken (Ps. 139:4). He knows every word you say in private, and every word you write online is known and weighed by Almighty God.

God holds us accountable not only for what we do but also for what we say, and when you see this, you will know how much you need a Saviour.

When have your words to others tasted sweet to you? When have your words to others tasted bitter down into your soul?

We have looked at the way of wisdom in relation to friends and family, and today we come to wisdom in our words. There are more proverbs on what we say than on any other subject. The tongue is the means by which we bring the greatest help or harm to others.

There is death in the power of the tongue
There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts (12:18). The tongue is a weapon that can wound another person deeply. If you carry a weapon that can wound, you have to carry it with great care. Words that burst out can bring deep wounds. You may have felt the power of this: “You’ll never amount to anything.” Death is in the power of the tongue.

There is also life in the power of the tongue
The tongue of the wise brings healing (12:18). Christian counsellor Larry Crabb says that as a youngster, he developed a humiliating problem with stuttering. One Sunday Larry found the courage to lead a public prayer for the first time.

“Stuttering throughout, I finally thought of the word Amen… said it and sat down… solemnly vowing never again to pray or speak aloud in front of a group.

“When the service was over I darted for the door… An older Christian man named Jim Dunbar intercepted me… ‘Larry,’ he said… ‘Whatever you do for the Lord, I’m behind you one thousand percent.’

“Even as I write these words, my eyes fill with tears… Those words were life words. They had power. They reached deep into my being. My resolve never again to speak in public weakened instantly.”

Can you think of a time when someone’s words brought healing to you? Look for opportunities to bring life to others through your words.