Why do you keep relapsing with porn—even when you want to quit?

In this episode of the No More Desire addiction recovery podcast, I uncover the hidden mental traps and false beliefs that sabotage your efforts to quit porn and stay sober for good. We’ll dig into the inner critic and inner escapist—two misunderstood parts of your psyche that actually think they’re helping you, but are keeping you stuck in the shame cycle.

You’ll learn how to respond to cravings, urges, and negative self-talk using powerful tools from IFS therapy, somatic healing, and emotional mindfulness. These practices go far beyond willpower—they're about cultivating male emotional intelligence and true spiritual growth for men.

If you’re ready to overcome porn addiction by getting underneath the surface, building emotional healing, and finally achieving sexual sobriety, this episode will give you the clarity, strategy, and encouragement you need.

You don’t need to fight yourself anymore. You need to understand yourself.

Whether you’re just starting your porn recovery journey or looking for new tools for relapse prevention, this episode will equip you with the mindset and skills to move forward with compassion, strength, and purpose.

Free Resources to Quit Porn:

👉 EBOOK: The 10 Tools to Conquer Cravings

👉 WORKSHOP: The 8 Keys to Overcome Porn Addiction

Related Episodes:

Embodiment Practices for Recovery with Marcus Owen from MELD

Preventing Relapse on Vacation and Business Trips

How to Tell Your Wife About Your Porn Relapse

Royalty Free Music: Bensound.com
License code: CXCPWUDH3YS5ZYTN

Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify

Support the show

No More Desire

In today’s powerful conversation, I welcome psychotherapist and Infinite Recovery Project founder Jason Shiers. Jason shares his deeply personal story of addiction, trauma, and his 20+ year journey through recovery — before a radical spiritual awakening changed everything.

Together, Jason and I dive into:

• Why trauma is often the hidden root of addiction.
• How traditional recovery models pathologize normal human responses.
• What it really means to heal — beyond symptom management.
• The transformational power of somatic work, parts work (IFS), and embodied spirituality.
• How authentic relationships become the ultimate container for healing.

Jason also explores how to reconnect with your true Self, why you are not broken, and why genuine freedom from addiction comes from a profound internal shift — not just managing behaviors.

Learn more about Jason at: InfiniteRecoveryProject.com

If you’re tired of surface-level recovery and ready for true transformation, this is a must-listen.

🎧 Subscribe for more addiction recovery insights, spiritual growth tools, and mindset coaching!

IF YOU LIKED THIS EPISODE...

How to Replace Porn Addiction | Gain Motivation, Reduce Symptoms of Anxiety & Depression, Build Focus & Attention, Beat the Addictive Mindset

Journey Out of Darkness | A Porn Addiction Story of Healing Through Empathy & Compassion

PORN ADDICTION RECOVERY RESOURCES...

FREE WORKSHOP

FREE EBOOK

Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify

Support the show

No More Desire

Can a marriage truly heal after porn addiction and betrayal trauma? In this powerful episode of The No More Desire Podcast, host Jake Kastleman sits down with Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith—coaches, authors, and a couple who’ve walked the road from addiction and deception to deep connection and true intimacy.

👉 Grab your FREE DOWNLOAD of The 8 Tools to Heal from Porn Addiction & Betrayal Trauma Here.

👉 Grab the Raabsmith's Free Guide: The Honest Connection

In this episode, you’ll hear:

• The real impact of porn addiction in marriage
  
  
• How betrayal trauma affects the spouse of an addict—emotionally, neurologically, and relationally
  
  
• Why secrecy and double lives destroy intimacy—and how truth begins healing
  
  
• The difference between boundaries and control in recovery relationships
  
  
• Practical steps for rebuilding trust after porn addiction
  
  
• What it means to take full personal responsibility in addiction recovery
  
  
• Why most couples get stuck in imbalanced recovery dynamics—and how to shift them
  
  
• Tools from their Intimacy Pyramid framework that help couples reconnect emotionally, spiritually, and physically
  
  

Whether you're struggling with addiction, supporting a spouse who is, or both, this episode offers wisdom, validation, and hope. Matthew and Joanna are proof that recovery is possible, and that with the right tools, couples can move from surviving betrayal to thriving in renewed trust.

👉 Learn more about Matthew and Joanna’s work at RaabsmithTeam.com or order their book Building True Intimacy

🔗 For more episodes, recovery tools, and coaching support, visit NoMoreDesire.com

MORE EPISODES

How Do I Stop My Husband from Watching Porn?

My Wife Ignores My Progress with Porn Addiction: Navigating Relationship Struggles

Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify

Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify

Support the show

No More Desire

Struggling to quit porn, control your cravings, or stay sober long-term?

In this episode, I share one of the most powerful—but often overlooked—tools for porn addiction recovery: gratitude.

Learn how daily gratitude can:

• Rewire your brain using neuroplasticity
• Reduce porn cravings by activating your prefrontal cortex
• Replace the shame cycle with emotional clarity and purpose
• Build a lasting recovery mindset based on joy, not just discipline

I also walk you through my personal morning gratitude routine, and how it's helped me stay sober for over 10 years—even during high-stress seasons.

If you’re serious about learning how to quit porn, stay clean, and build a mentally and spiritually resilient lifestyle, this episode is for you.

📌 Keywords covered:
porn addiction recovery, quitting porn, dopamine regulation, rewiring the brain, gratitude for sobriety, recovery tools for men

🔗 Join my free porn recovery workshop or apply for 1-on-1 coaching at NoMoreDesire.com

BUILD THE NO MORE PORN LIFESTYLE

FREE WORKSHOP: The 8 Keys to Lose Your Desire for Porn

FREE EBOOK: The 10 Tools to Conquer Porn Cravings

Schedule a Free Consultation

Buy Me a Coffee

MORE ARTICLES

How to Replace Porn Addiction | Gain Motivation, Reduce Symptoms of Anxiety & Depression

How Do I Stop My Husband from Watching Porn?

My Wife Ignores My Progress with Porn Addiction: Navigating Relationship Struggles

Self-Control & Porn Addiction | Why Willpower Always Fails

Why Doesn’t God Take My Porn Addiction?

Christianity and Porn Addiction | How to Overcome Sexual & Religious Shame

How to Tell Your Wife About Your Porn Relapse

MUSIC BY:

Music by https://www.bensound.com/free-music-for-videos
License code: T6KN2ASHGMV9YDPO
License code: Y4VJIQHHBPFXTDNP

Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify

Support the show

No More Desire

What happens when you're stuck at home, in pain, and totally alone? For most men recovering from porn addiction, that’s the ultimate relapse setup.

But for Steve, a client in my recovery program, this moment of isolation became the most spiritually grounded, mentally focused, and connected time of his life.

In this episode, I share the story of how Steve stayed sober after surgery while his wife and kids were out of the country—how he avoided porn cravings, built emotional resilience, and grew stronger in his relationship with God.

You'll learn:

• How to overcome porn addiction when you're alone and vulnerable
• Daily mindset practices that keep cravings from taking root
• How prayer, scripture, and intention can replace porn as a coping mechanism
• Why pain can be the foundation for real spiritual growth
• How to develop a recovery mindset and lifestyle that holds under pressure

If you're struggling with relapse, loneliness, temptation, or want to support someone who is, this episode is for you.

This is porn addiction recovery from the inside out—real habits, spiritual power, and mental clarity. You’ll walk away with hope and a concrete plan to stay sober when it’s hardest.

BUILD THE NO MORE PORN LIFESTYLE

FREE WORKSHOP: The 8 Keys to Lose Your Desire for Porn

FREE EBOOK: The 10 Tools to Conquer Porn Cravings

Schedule a Free Consultation

Buy Me a Coffee

MORE ARTICLES

How to Replace Porn Addiction | Gain Motivation, Reduce Symptoms of Anxiety & Depression

How Do I Stop My Husband from Watching Porn?

My Wife Ignores My Progress with Porn Addiction: Navigating Relationship Struggles

Self-Control & Porn Addiction | Why Willpower Always Fails

Why Doesn’t God Take My Porn Addiction?

Christianity and Porn Addiction | How to Overcome Sexual & Religious Shame

How to Tell Your Wife About Your Porn Relapse

MUSIC BY:

https://www.bensound.com
License code: TKLXBG2QWI7JR0N1

Mikhail Smusev from Pixabay

DELOSound from Pixabay

Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify

Support the show

No More Desire

How can you replace porn addiction? The answer is not a mystery. Essentially, it requires you to build the skills of a porn addiction recovery mindset and lifestyle. It also requires consistency.

If recovery were a car, these recovery skills would be the engine, and consistency would be the fuel. You can rewire your brain and stop watching porn using these skills and this consistency.

You may have achieved a week or two of sobriety at some point. Or even a few months. But would you like to make it a year, 5 years, 10 years, and beyond?

How do you maintain focus and motivation to stay sober from porn when times get tough? When you don’t feel good enough as a husband or father, when work sucks, life gets overwhelming, you’re exhausted or burnt out, you lose something or someone you loved, your wife isn’t connecting with you, your kids are testing your patience, or your best intentions end in failure?

A car’s engine cannot function long-term without regular oil changes. Without these, the engine corrodes, breaks down, and eventually fails.

You may know the skills to stay sober. You may have a nice frame, engine, and all the bells and whistles. But if you don’t have adequate, clean oil in your engine, you’ll never achieve long-term sobriety and truly lose your desire for porn.

So, how do you quit porn, avoid porn relapse, and stay sober in tough times? You need oil.

BUILD THE NO MORE PORN LIFESTYLE

FREE WORKSHOP: The 8 Keys to Lose Your Desire for Porn

FREE EBOOK: The 10 Tools to Conquer Porn Cravings

Schedule a Free Consultation

Buy Me a Coffee

MORE ARTICLES

The Neuroscience of Quitting Porn: Build a New Brain

How Do I Stop My Husband from Watching Porn?

Self-Control & Porn Addiction | Why Willpower Always Fails

Why Doesn’t God Take My Porn Addiction?

Christianity and Porn Addiction | How to Overcome Sexual & Religious Shame

How to Tell Your Wife About Your Porn Relapse

Music by: Bensound.com/free-music-for-videos
License code: CQT5HHJGDQUOPWMS

Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify

Support the show

No More Desire

My conversation today is with George Haymaker. We discuss the neuroscience of quitting porn and other addictions, and how to change habit patterns and rewire your brain.

George is an inspiring man with an incredible story. He’s helped many people heal their brains and change their habits for the better. He is a certified neuroscience coach & consultant, and an impressive entrepreneur with a long history of successful business ventures.

George helps addicts overcome their destructive patterns by teaching them sound practices for step-by-step habit change based on principles of neuroscience.

I believe our conversation today will give you some crucial insights for your own porn addiction recovery, or compassion for a loved one who’s struggling with pornography addiction, and an understanding for the methods that you can use to truly break free of porn.

Below, I discuss some takeaways from the episode, as well as additional insights and tips for porn recovery.

You can find George Haymaker, Certified Neuroscience Coach & Consultant, at georgehaymaker.com or LinkedIn.

BUILD THE NO MORE PORN LIFESTYLE

FREE WORKSHOP: The 8 Keys to Lose Your Desire for Porn

FREE EBOOK: The 10 Tools to Conquer Porn Cravings

Schedule a Free Consultation

Intensive Porn Addiction Recovery Program

Join My Email Newsletter

Buy Me a Coffee

MORE EPISODES

Recovery Mindset for Vacations: 4 Keys

How Do I Stop My Husband from Watching Porn?

Self-Control & Porn Addiction | Why Willpower Always Fails

Why Doesn't God Take My Porn Addiction?

Christianity and Porn Addiction | How to Overcome Sexual & Religious Shame

Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify

Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify

Support the show

No More Desire

It can be very hard for many men to stay sober from porn on vacations - both during and after. We are thrown out of our structure and norm, and many of us can feel far more impulsive and prone towards porn addiction.

This can seem counterintuitive, as you'd think that vacation and travel would make it easier to stay sober. I talk about why this is not the case for many people, why post-vacation can be a time of serious relapse with porn, and how to guard against these pitfalls and stay clean of porn during travel.

I do this using 4 keys to stop watching porn while traveling:

1. Keeping Structure
2. Toning Down Intensity
3. Growing Relationships
4. Watching Nutrition

These 4 keys to stay clean of porn on vacation are fundamental to a recovery mindset and lifestyle. You need to enter vacation with a safety plan to stay clean of porn. If you do not, you set yourself up for porn relapse. Fail to plan and plan to fail.

To quit porn, you can follow these same principles in the rest of life, but they are distinctly important while on vacation.

BUILD THE NO MORE PORN LIFESTYLE

FREE WORKSHOP: The 8 Keys to Lose Your Desire for Porn

FREE EBOOK: The 10 Tools to Conquer Porn Cravings

Schedule a Free Consultation

Intensive Porn Addiction Recovery Program

Join My Email Newsletter

Buy Me a Coffee

MORE EPISODES

How Do I Stop My Husband from Watching Porn?

Self-Control & Porn Addiction | Why Willpower Always Fails

How to Help Someone with a Porn Addiction in 3 Steps

Christianity and Porn Addiction | How to Overcome Sexual & Religious Shame

How to Tell Your Wife About Your Porn Relapse

The 4 Root Causes of Porn Addiction

The Porn Addiction Funnel: How To Break Porn Addiction

Music I Use: Bensound.com/royalty-free-music
License code: YSIORF89UUR0CSIB

Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify

Support the show

No More Desire