Did you know it’s possible to exit a two-night hospital stay mostly unscathed? Neither did we! Not until Boston Karen came along, that is. Amy reflects on a rare positive health care experience and we wonder at the difference a single provider can make. We dig into the concept of structural medical gaslighting and discuss how much agency individual providers have in their own and their patients’ experiences. We also share a bunch of ways we can begin to dismantle the existing medical industrial complex wherein structural medical gaslighting thrives. Importantly, we give a long-overdue shoutout all the Karen/Karins we’ve loved before and acknowledge #notalkarens (after some brief confusion over whether we mean #NotAllKarens or #NoTallKarens).

BOSTON KAREN

I shiver under the covers, shrinking from the natural light worming its way across my bed. A cuddle from Boston Karen is exactly what I need right now.

She knows. She's magic. A healer.

Boston Karen pokes her head under the covers. What must she be thinking about the grown woman before her, teeth chattering, body shaking, cowering from the light, tears streaming down her face? What trauma could have evoked this response?

A warm shower. The most banal of events. In a handicap-accessible, hospital-clean shower, no less.

Continues at https://amyblackstonephd.substack.com/p/boston-karen

CITED IN THIS EPISODE

1. Brauer Lara, Werner de Cruppé, and Max Geraedts. 2025. “‘Take me seriously’: A qualitative interview study exploring healthcare experiences of endometriosis patients.” PLoS One 20(5): e0323883. https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0323883
2. Berenstain, Nora. 2019. “White Feminist Gaslighting,” Hypatia 35: 733-758.

Intro music: Humoresque by Antonín Dvořák from Suzuki Flute School Volume 3; Played proudly and poorly by Amy Blackstone

Outro music: Moon Over Ruined Castle by Rentarō Taki from Suzuki Flute School Volume 1; Played proudly and poorly by Amy Blackstone

For more information, go to amyblackstonephd.com.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Amy confesses to having imaginary relationships with a whole bunch of people and we consider whether she is totally nuts or simply engaged in a bunch of parasocial relationships (or possibly both?). We go on to discuss the benefits of parasocial relationships for people with chronic illnesses, potential drawbacks for all parties involved, and what lessons social science has for us on the topic.

PARASOCIAL RELATIONSHIPS

Dear Deb,

I met you once in Nashville after a show and though my brain is foggy these days, it’s a moment I’ll cherish forever.

Years later, you gave me the gift of visiting my home state of Maine and - even better - presented a show that allowed a person like me (light sensitivity, noise sensitivity, all the dumb sensitivities) to stay for the whole thing and share my very favorite artist with my parents who’d come to tow to help with my caretaking.

Continues at https://amyblackstonephd.substack.com/p/dedication

CITED IN THIS EPISODE:

1. Horton, Donald, and R. Richard Wohl. 1956. “Mass Communication and Para-Social Interaction: Observations on Intimacy at a Distance.” Psychiatry 19 (3): 215–29.
2. Liebers, Nicole, and Holger Schramm. 2019. "Parasocial Interactions and Relationships with Media Characters–An Inventory of 60 Years of Research." Communication Research Trends 38(2):4-31
3. Struck-Peregończyk, Monika, and Iwona Leonowicz-Bukala. 2023. "Changing the Narrative: Self-Representations of Disabled People in Social Media." Przeglad Socjologii Jakosciowej 19(3):62-79.
4. Schiappa Edward, Gregg Peter B., Hewes Dean E. (2005), The Parasocial Contact Hypothesis, “Communication Monographs”,vol. 72(1), pp. 92–115, https://doi.org/10.1080/0363775052000342544

Intro music: Humoresque by Antonín Dvořák from Suzuki Flute School Volume 3; Played proudly and poorly by Amy Blackstone

Outro music: Moon Over Ruined Castle by Rentarō Taki from Suzuki Flute School Volume 1; Played proudly and poorly by Amy Blackstone

For more information, go to amyblackstonephd.com.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

As former residents and forever fans of Minneapolis, we’re outraged and heartbroken by the occupation, kidnapping, and murder of residents that our government is shamelessly unleashing on the people who live there today. Everything is very much NOT alright. But Minnesotans are hardy - and hearty - folk and we love them and the state we moved from those 20+ years ago, deeply. In this episode, Amy shares an essay she wrote recently about the occupation in Minnesota and what the occupiers don’t understand about the people they so foolishly thought they could intimidate. We go on to reflect on our years in Minneapolis and the various ways that social trust has been the key to building the strong community ties that took ICE by storm.

TO MINNEAPOLIS, WITH LOVE

Normally, the chill in Minneapolis melts easily - all it takes is a smile, a nod, a simple kindness - but there’s a new kind of ICE in town, the likes of which Minnesotans have never seen and, before they can melt it, it is quite literally killing them. Watching as the city that ushered me into adulthood is occupied and its people are kidnapped and murdered by our very own government is the sort of apocalyptic cognitive dissonance that was most definitely not on my Bingo card this year. Or ever.

Continues at ⁠⁠https://amyblackstonephd.substack.com/p/to-minneapolis-with-love

CITED IN THIS EPISODE:

1. Howley, Kerry. January 23, 2026. “Your Friendly Neighborhood Resistance.” New York Magazine. https://nymag.com/intelligencer/article/minneapolis-vs-donald-trump-ice-invasion.html
2. Strand, Palma J.,J.D.L.L.M., and Malka R. Kopell M.P.P. 2025. "A "Civity" Approach Helps Build the Civic Muscle that Underlies Healthy Communities." American Journal of Public Health 115(4):506-510 https://libraries.maine.edu/auth/EZproxy/test/authej.asp?url=https://www.proquest.com/scholarly-journals/civity-approach-helps-build-civic-muscle-that/docview/3188476442/se-2.
3. As promised in the episode, note that the state with the HIGHEST levels of social trust in the nation, even higher than Minnesota, is (drum roll, please).... UTAH!

Intro music: Humoresque by Antonín Dvořák from Suzuki Flute School Volume 3; Played proudly and poorly by Amy Blackstone

Outro music: Moon Over Ruined Castle by Rentarō Taki from Suzuki Flute School Volume 1; Played proudly and poorly by Amy Blackstone

For more information, go to amyblackstonephd.com.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What do you do when the community you spent years crafting falls apart? As we pick up the pieces wrought by the war that has been our experience with the pandemic, Long COVID, and our community's response to both, we assess where and how things went wrong and how we might begin rebuild. Good thing Amy's done lots of research on these topics - and that there's a whole new generation doing things differently that we can learn from!

REBUILDING OUR VILLAGE

When I interviewed childfree adults for my book, I learned that many nonparents form intentional communities around which they build their lives. Lance and I are no different. We settled in Bangor, Maine intending to stay here as we age. Eventually, we presumed, we’d die here.

Over the years, our local network grew thanks to considered, intentional effort. We put real blood, sweat, tears, love, and resources into this wickedly wacky, absolutely lovable little city these past couple of decades. As a result, we’ve moved past the daily reminders that we are “from away” to feeling fully embraced. Never have I loved a place more deeply. Never have I felt more HOME.

Continues at https://amyblackstonephd.substack.com/p/rebuilding-our-village

CITED IN THIS EPISODE

1. Blackstone, Amy. Childfree by Choice: The Movement Redefining Family and Creating a New Age of Independence. New York: Dutton.
2. Gardner, Susan K. and Amy Blackstone. 2015, 2023. “Confronting Faculty Incivility and Mobbing,” in Disrupting the Culture of Silence: Confronting Gender Inequality and Making Change in Higher Education, edited by Kris De Welde and Andi Stepnick. New York: Routledge.
3. Johns Hopkins University: Gen Z In The Workplace
4. Stanford University: 8 ways Gen Z will change the workforce
5. West, Kath. 1991, 1997. Families We Choose: Lesbians, Gays, Kinship. New York: Columbia University Press.
6. Amy's 2019 NYT OpEd: Grow Old Like the Golden Girls

Intro music: Humoresque by Antonín Dvořák from Suzuki Flute School Volume 3; Played proudly and poorly by Amy Blackstone

Outro music: Moon Over Ruined Castle by Rentarō Taki from Suzuki Flute School Volume 1; Played proudly and poorly by Amy Blackstone

For more information, go to amyblackstonephd.com.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Forget about silver linings; midnight blue is where it's at. This week, Amy confronts her old habit of grasping for silver linings and considers a different, more nuanced approach (and color) along with lessons learned from life in a chronically ill body. Together, Lance and Amy discuss how they think about silver linings and how they find meaning when things seem to happen for no reason at all.

THE BUCKET FORMERLY KNOWN AS SILVER LININGS

“This sort of thing is old hat for me and I'm a huge silver linings person. I'm really just looking for help coping with my current condition and celebrating what I'm learning from it.”

And so began the latest in my decades-long series of relationships where I bare all of my most humiliating truths, the ugliest bits that make it hard for even me to face myself after revealing them. I have sometimes revealed these truths within mere minutes of first meeting said compadre and they STILL look me in the eye after I’ve divulged the unsightliness within me. They look with compassion even.

I'm talking about THERAPY. Said compadre is my THERAPIST. There, I said it.

Continues at https://amyblackstonephd.substack.com/p/the-bucket-formerly-known-as-silver

CITED IN THIS EPISODE

1. Marishelle Lieberwerth and Alistair Niemeijer. “Lost and changed meaning in life of people with Long Covid: a qualitative study.” 2024. INTERNATIONAL JOURNAL OF QUALITATIVE STUDIES ON HEALTH AND WELL-BEING VOL. 19, 2289668 https://doi.org/10.1080/17482631.2023.2289668
2. Anna M. Carapellotti, Hannie (J.E.M.) Meijerink, Christine Gravemaker-Scott, Lucia Thielman, Renée Kool, Natalie Lewin, and Tineke A. Abma. 2023. “Escape, expand, embrace: the transformational lived experience of rediscovering the self and the other while dancing with Parkinson’s or Multiple Sclerosis.” INTERNATIONAL JOURNAL OF QUALITATIVE STUDIES ON HEALTH AND WELL-BEING VOL. 18, 2143611 https://doi.org/10.1080/17482631.2022.2143611
   

Intro music: Humoresque by Antonín Dvořák from Suzuki Flute School Volume 3; Played proudly and poorly by Amy Blackstone

Outro music: Moon Over Ruined Castle by Rentarō Taki from Suzuki Flute School Volume 1; Played proudly and poorly by Amy Blackstone

For more information, go to amyblackstonephd.com.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Amy is delivering a special form of torture to Lance this week and we're discussing all things Bravo. Bravo, Bravo, f'ing Bravo! Amy shares how the 'wives have helped her cope with the challenges of chronic illness and we consider the impact and possibilities of reality TV more broadly - all while enjoying some pink bubbly, in honor of the real housewives, of course.

HEALING WITH THE HOUSEWIVES

My name is Amy. I am a sociologist and I have a Ph.D. and I like to think I’m reasonably smart and I believe that wealth is distributed in ALL the wrong ways in my home country of the U.S. of A. I am a raging feminist and damn proud of it. I believe the propagation of MAGA beliefs is mostly the result of widespread inequality, abuse of power, corporate monopolization, and crippling fear.

And. Wait for it. I love Bravo. The network where wealth is flaunted in all the dumbest ways. The network whose roster of stars includes dingdongs who will charter four private planes to Puerto Rico to deliver $50 gift cards to the people, as long as they can catch it on camera. This IS a crisis, after all...

Continues at https://amyblackstonephd.substack.com/p/8c9f81f1-0049-449c-a10e-0a1a16e3d0b2

CITED IN THIS EPISODE

Branco, Susan F. 2025. "Teaching while Streaming: Adult Adoptee Themes in the Real Housewives Reality Series." Family Journal 33(2):244-247. doi: Teaching While Streaming: Adult Adoptee Themes in The Real Housewives Reality Series - Susan F. Branco, 2025 .

Intro music: Humoresque by Antonín Dvořák from Suzuki Flute School Volume 3; Played proudly and poorly by Amy Blackstone

Outro music: Moon Over Ruined Castle by Rentarō Taki from Suzuki Flute School Volume 1; Played proudly and poorly by Amy Blackstone

For more information, go to amyblackstonephd.com.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We, like so many of you, are sick and tired of our broken healthcare system in the United States of America. In this episode, Amy reads a piece expressing her despair over the state of it. We discuss how disempowering it can feel to be a patient in this system. And we consider how Luigi Mangione's 2024 shooting of United Healthcare CEO Brian Thompson reflects similar feelings of disempowerment and also a rising class consciousness in the United States. Finally, Lance SHOCKS Amy by quoting a sociologist to HER and we even manage to have a few laughs.

A PATIENT SANS PATIENCE

I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired

Sick and tired of medical forms and filings and faxes*

Sick and tired of bureaucracies and bureaucrats

Sick and tired of treating symptoms, never causes or cures

Sick and tired of pollyanna pundits and politicians

Sick and tired of systems and structures built by and for only the fortunate few

Sick and tired of the sick and tired system that got us here

Sick and tired of the sick and tired system that's keeping us here

Sick and tired of the sick and tired system that hasn't a clue or a care to get us out

*Does anyone else worry that an industry that's supposed to be cutting edge relies so heavily on faxes?

Originally posted at https://substack.com/@neverthelesspersisting/note/c-102724456

CITED IN THIS EPISODE

1. Commonwealth Fund: https://apps.urban.org/features/wealth-inequality-charts/
2. Thiele Strong, Megan. "Support for Luigi Mangione Reflects Working Class Weariness of Top-Down Violence," Common Dreams, December 28, 2024.
3. Turner, Bryan. 1992. Max Weber: From History to Modernity. New York: Routledge.
4. Urban Institute: https://apps.urban.org/features/wealth-inequality-charts/

Intro music: Humoresque by Antonín Dvořák from Suzuki Flute School Volume 3; Played proudly and poorly by Amy Blackstone

Outro music: Moon Over Ruined Castle by Rentarō Taki from Suzuki Flute School Volume 1; Played proudly and poorly by Amy Blackstone

For more information, go to amyblackstonephd.com.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.