You blocked them. You cried. You told all your friends you were DONE. You gave a TED Talk about how toxic they are. And then… somehow you're back in their house. WHY?!

This week, Alyssa sits down with John Jacobs (@maybachdiamonds) to talk about why we keep going back to toxic exes, why toxic relationships can feel so addictive, and—most importantly—how the hell you actually break the cycle and move on.

John is currently experiencing his own “I know this is toxic but apparently I hate peace” era, so we're breaking it down in real time. Why are we addicted to certain people? What triggers us to go back? Why does a healthy relationship sometimes feel boring after chaos? And how do you learn to be alone without immediately downloading a dating app or texting the person you've already blocked 14 times? Why do they always rage text you and why do we get sucked in!?

Alyssa also shares how she spent two years stuck in the on-again, off-again toxic relationship cycle, what kept pulling her back, and what finally made her realize she had to get out for good. We also get into the much heavier reality of dating someone with addiction—when supporting someone turns into enabling them, how easy it is to lose yourself in someone else's problems, and why love alone can't fix another person.

We talk toxic exes, trauma bonds, codependency, relationship addiction, breakup anxiety, dating someone with addiction, boundaries, triggers, getting over an ex, learning to be alone, dating after a toxic relationship, and how to finally stop going back.

And don't worry, this is not an hour of us pretending we've reached enlightenment. We also determine that we're both lunatics, John desperately needs a hobby, therapy should probably be purchased in bulk, and sometimes the strongest boundary is simply DO. NOT. TEXT. THEM.

If you've ever Googled “Why do I keep going back to my ex?” “Why can't I get over my toxic ex?” “How do I break a trauma bond?” “How do I leave a toxic relationship?” or “How do I stop missing someone who was terrible for me?” — welcome. You've found your people.

Because missing them doesn't mean you should text them. And being lonely is still significantly cheaper than another year of therapy.

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After planning 200+ weddings, Alyssa has learned one very important thing: you can fake a lot of s*** in a relationship, but wedding planning will expose you FAST.

In this solo episode of MissJudged, Alyssa is taking 16+ years of behind-the-scenes wedding chaos and turning it into the relationship advice nobody asked for—but honestly, everyone dating, engaged, or married probably needs. Want to know who you're actually marrying? Watch how they act when the budget goes up, the seating chart goes to hell, their mother starts making demands, and the bartender tells them the bar is closed. Also learn the recipe for a marriage that will LAST.

Alyssa breaks down what 200+ couples have taught her about love, marriage, money, family boundaries, and relationship red flags—including why the way your partner treats waiters, bartenders, planners, and other service workers tells you EVERYTHING, how they handle problems when shit inevitably goes wrong, and why wedding planning should feel like a team sport instead of one person getting a second unpaid job.

We're talking about money in relationships, spending habits and compatibility, dealing with difficult parents and in-laws, setting boundaries with family before marriage, and handling stress without becoming an absolute psychopath.

Whether you're single, dating, engaged, wedding planning, or married, consider this your unofficial relationship compatibility test from someone who's had a front-row seat to 200+ couples on one of the most stressful days of their lives. Because the real question isn't whether your partner looks good in a tux—it's whether you still want to marry them after planning Table 14 on your layout.

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Can you date someone with completely different political views—or has politics officially become one of the biggest dating dealbreakers in modern relationships? Should we be like this??

This week, Alyssa is joined by Charlie Goldensohn (@chez.chuck) for a funny, unfiltered conversation about what happens when dating, relationships, friendships, family, and politics collide. And no, this isn't a political debate. We're much more interested in what happens when the person you want to date, sleep with, befriend—or survive Thanksgiving with—sees the world completely differently than you do.

Can people on opposite ends of the political spectrum actually date? Should you end a friendship because someone votes differently? How do you deal with family members whose political opinions make you insane? And have we become so quick to block, unfollow, cancel, and cut people off that we've completely forgotten how to disagree?

Alyssa and Charlie get into:

• Dating someone with different political views and whether politics should be a relationship dealbreaker
• Whether people with opposite political beliefs can have a successful relationship
• When political differences are really differences in values, morals, lifestyle, and compatibility
• How and WHEN to bring up politics while dating
• What to do when your friends have different political views
• Whether it's ever worth ending a friendship over politics
• How to survive political differences within your family
• Why hearing opinions you disagree with might actually be a good thing
• Why we've become so trigger-happy about blocking, unfollowing, cutting people off, and cancel culture
• The opinions, jokes, social media behavior, and hot takes that can get you cancelled
• How to disagree with someone without immediately deciding they're a terrible person
• And a hilarious game of immediate dating red flags: what would make Alyssa and Charlie instantly swipe left?

From politics and dating to friendship breakups, family arguments, cancel culture, dating apps, red flags, political compatibility, and modern relationship advice, we're asking a much bigger question than "Who did you vote for?"

Do you actually need a partner who agrees with you—or do you need a partner who knows how to disagree with you?

Because maybe the ultimate dating green flag isn't having identical opinions. Maybe it's being able to argue your point, have discourse, hear someone else's, laugh about it, respect each other—and still want to go on a second date.

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