Death isn’t something most of us are taught to face with honesty, compassion, or ritual. In this episode of Messy Liberation, hosts Becky Mollenkamp and Taina Brown sit down with Nikki Smith, The Death Doula, to explore what it means to navigate dying, grief, and collective loss with more humanity.

Nikki shares how her personal experiences with loss led her to become a death doula and grief coach, and why she believes grief doesn’t have to suck. Together, we talk about how our culture fails us in grief (three days of bereavement leave? really?), the myths of the “stages of grief,” what collective grief looks like in moments like COVID and global injustice, and why rituals matter.

We also touch on end-of-life dignity, hospice care, and what Nikki has learned about her own mortality from walking alongside others in their final days. This conversation is real, tender, and surprisingly hopeful—it’s about love, legacy, and finding joy even in the hardest moments.

If you’ve ever felt alone in your grief, questioned how to support someone through loss, or wondered what it means to prepare for your own death, this episode will meet you right where you are.

Discussed in this episode:

• How Nikki became a death doula and grief coach
• Why toxic positivity is harmful in grief
• The many forms of grief, including disenfranchised grief
• The limitations of bereavement leave and how workplaces fail grievers
• Rituals and cultural approaches to death
• The myth of “stages of grief” and why grief is nonlinear
• Collective grief in times of crisis (COVID, genocide, natural disasters)
• The dignity (and indignity) of dying, and hospice care
• Talking with kids about death
• Finding joy, ritual, and love inside grief

Resources:

• Nikki Smith’s website (and podcast info)
• Nikki and Taina’s upcoming session on collective grief (Sept. 25)

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What does it mean to rest in a world that’s constantly demanding more from us—and why is rest such an essential part of resistance?

In this episode, Becky and Taina sit down with Jordan Maney (aka The Radical Joy Coach) to talk about rest as resistance, how to distinguish between anger and rage, and why “rest so you can rage” is a mantra worth remembering.

Together they unpack:

• The difference between anger (short-term) and rage (sustainable)
• Why rest, joy, and care are essential for sustaining activism and justice work
• What Audre Lorde meant when she said “anger is loaded with information and energy”
• How shame and defensiveness show up when we’re called in or called out
• The tension between white women co-opting “rest as resistance” vs. acknowledging privilege
• Rest equity and who most urgently needs access to true restoration
• Why rest isn’t the absence of doing, but the presence of restoration—creative rest, social rest, emotional rest, and more

Jordan reminds us that rest isn’t an excuse to check out. It’s a strategy for sustaining ourselves in the long fight against oppressive systems. Without it, burnout wins.

If you’ve ever felt guilty about slowing down, or wondered how to balance caring for yourself while also showing up for justice, this episode will leave you with a radical new lens on why rest isn’t optional—it’s part of the work.

Jordan Maney is The Radical Joy Coach and the host of Rest Lab podcast. She helps “bleeding hearts”—people who deeply give a damn—center rest, joy, and care in their lives as an act of resistance.

Resources & Links

• RestLab Report and Podcast, Jordan’s Substack
• “Joy Is a Strategy: The White Leftist Struggle with Spirit”
• “Uses of Anger” by Audre Lorde
• “Rest Is Resistance: A Manifesto” by Tricia Hersey

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Becky and Taina sit down with Tiana Dodson, a body liberation facilitator who helps people reconnect with their bodies, destigmatize fatness, and confront the oppressive systems that keep us at war with ourselves.

Together, we dig into the messy, nuanced truths about body liberation: what it really means beyond “body positivity,” why loving your body isn’t always possible (or required), and how systemic oppression—not personal failure—shapes our relationships with our bodies.

Tiana shares her four-step framework for body liberation—education, reframing, resilience/self-care, and advocacy—and we talk about the real-life challenges of living in a fat body in a fatphobic, racist, capitalist culture. This conversation unpacks how liberation isn’t a destination but an ongoing practice of resistance, reclamation, and joy.

Discussed in this episode:

• The limits of body positivity and why “just love your body” is often inaccessible.
• The political realities of having a marginalized body and why they matter.
• Tiana’s journey from engineer to body liberation facilitator (with a spreadsheet love story in the mix).
• How trauma complicates body acceptance and why neutrality can be liberatory.
• The role of storytelling and representation in dismantling shame.
• Why reclaiming pleasure—from sex to ice cubes—is a radical act of liberation.

Resources Mentioned:

• "Fearing the Black Body" by Sabrina Strings
• "Fat Girls in Black Bodies" by Dr. Joy Arlene Renee Cox
• "The Body Is Not an Apology" by Sonya Renee Taylor
• "Pleasure Activism" by adrienne maree brown

Connect with Tiana Dodson:

• Instagram: @iamtianadodson
• Website: tianadodson.com
• TikTok: @iamtianadodson

🎤 PROUD MEMBERS OF THE FEMINIST PODCASTERS COLLECTIVE