去年11月，我的手被狗绳拉断，手术后医生又犯了一个错误。今年1月拆开石膏时，手指肌腱粘连严重，一动不动。康复师眼说：估计不可能自己恢复好，再过几个月可以回医院重新手术。

那是我人生中很低谷的一段日子。通过自己的努力和坚持，四个月后，我的手康复到了80%，让我的康复师感到诧异。

这一集，我和分享我在在这个康复过程中学到的5点：

1. 选择相信自己的身体
专业人士的判断需要参考，但身体的智慧也值得聆听。真正带来改善的，有时是身体“告诉”我的动作，而不是康复师给的指令。

2. 康复是多层面的协作
精神上做滋养自己的事，身体上倾听而非逼迫，还要照顾神经系统的放松——安全感，是康复的重要基础。

3. 在每个时刻，我都可以做出选择
我可以选择做受害者，抱怨那只狗、责怪命运；也可以选择做探索者，问自己：这件事想教会我什么？后者，是高能量的选择。

4. 主动寻找支持自己的资源
除了康复师，我还找到了外科医生的建议、ChatGPT的帮助、教练同事的鼓励、家人的爱……撑不住的时候，去看看身边有哪些资源可以借力。

5. 学会屏蔽消耗能量的噪音
康复需要高度聚焦。有意识地远离消极的人和信息，给自己创造安静温暖的环境，这不是自私，是必要的自我保护。

如果你此刻也在面对身体或生活上的挑战，不妨轻轻问自己：

“我能不能在内心做一个新的选择？”

愿你，不止于“熬过去”，而是在这段历程中找到属于自己的力量和智慧。

愿我们，在每一次与身体的对话中，学会更深地倾听自己、照顾自己。

Last November, my finger was broken when a dog leash violently pulled my hand. After the surgery, another medical mistake happened. When my cast was finally removed in January, my finger tendons had become severely adhered and my finger could barely move at all. My hand therapist looked at my hand and said, “It will probably never recover on its own. In a few months, you may need another surgery.”

That was one of the lowest periods of my life.

Through persistence, deep inner trust, and daily practice, four months later my hand recovered to about 80%, leaving even my therapist surprised.

In this episode, I share five important lessons I learned through this healing journey:

1. Choosing to trust my body
   Professional advice matters, but the wisdom of the body also deserves to be heard. Some of the movements that helped me most were not instructed by therapists, but “revealed” by my own body.
2. Healing is a multi-layered collaboration
   Recovery is not only physical. It also involves emotional nourishment, listening to the body instead of forcing it, and helping the nervous system return to safety and calm. A sense of safety is an essential foundation for healing.
3. In every moment, I still have a choice
   I could choose to become a victim, blame the dog, resent fate, and stay trapped in suffering. Or I could choose to become an explorer and ask: “What is this experience trying to teach me?” The second choice carries a very different energy.
4. Actively seeking supportive resources
   Beyond my therapist, I found support through a surgeon’s advice, the help of ChatGPT, encouragement from coaching colleagues, and the love of my family. When you feel overwhelmed, look around and ask yourself: what resources are available to support me?
5. Learning to protect my energy from negativity
   Healing requires focus and energy. Creating distance from negative people, draining information, and emotional noise is not selfish. It is an important act of self-care and protection.

If you are currently facing physical or emotional challenges in your own life, I gently invite you to ask yourself:

“Can I make a new choice within myself?”

May you not only “get through” this chapter, but also discover your own strength and wisdom within it.

And may we all learn, through every conversation with our bodies, to listen to ourselves more deeply and care for ourselves more lovingly.

欢迎报名参加2026年家庭系统排列工作坊：
📩 往期学员反馈，工作坊信息和报名链接：https://hipsy.nl/meeei

这是上一集的延续。

在第69集中，我分享了一个重要的视角：
从受孕、怀孕到出生的这段历程，如何在无形中影响我们的安全感、自我价值感，以及我们面对关系、压力和人生挑战的方式。

这一集，我想邀请你更进一步地去探索：
当我们开始意识到这些“生命最早的印记”确实在影响我们时，我们可以做些什么？

🌿 本集你将听到：

1. 作为成年人，我们如何开始自我疗愈？
   为什么真正的改变，往往发生在安静与连接之中？
   以及我们可以如何通过系统性的方式，去整合那些早期的生命经验。
2. 作为父母，我们可以做什么？
   在这一部分，我分享了一个非常个人的故事——
   关于我大女儿来到这个世界时所经历的挑战，以及多年之后，我如何重新理解这段经历，与她建立连接，并陪伴她一起面对与疗愈。
3. 如果你正准备成为父母
   孩子的旅程，并不是从怀孕开始，
   而是从你决定迎接这个生命的那一刻开始。
   孩子最早的“家”，不是房子，
   而是母亲的身体、父母之间的关系，以及家庭中的爱与连接。

如果这一集触动了你，
也欢迎你来参加我的生命整合历程工作坊，
一起回到生命最早的故事里，看见、承认与整合。

📍 时间：6月20日 / 11月21日
📍 地点：荷兰 Soest

如果你喜欢这一集，欢迎分享给一个你关心的人。
也欢迎你留言，和我分享你的感受与故事。

让我们一起，把更多理解与温柔，带回生命的起点。

This is a continuation of the previous episode.

In Episode 69, I shared an important perspective: how the journey from conception, through pregnancy, to birth may invisibly shape our sense of safety, self-worth, and the way we relate to others, stress, and life’s challenges.

In this episode, I invite you to go one step deeper.
When we begin to realize that these “earliest imprints of life” truly influence us, what can we do?

🌿 In this episode, you will hear:

1. As adults, how can we begin to heal ourselves?
   Why does real transformation often happen in stillness and connection?
   And how can we integrate early experiences through systemic approaches?
2. As parents, what can we do?
   Here, I share a deeply personal story—
   about the challenges my eldest daughter faced when she came into this world, and how, years later, I began to understand, reconnect, and support her in healing those early experiences.
3. If you are preparing to become a parent
   A child’s journey does not begin at pregnancy,
   but from the moment you decide to welcome a new life.
   A child’s first “home” is not a house,
   but the mother’s body, the parents’ relationship, and the love and connection within the family.

If this episode resonates with you,
you are warmly invited to join my Life Integration Process workshops,
where we gently return to the earliest stories of life—to see, acknowledge, and integrate.

📍 Dates: June 20 / November 21
📍 Location: Soest, The Netherlands

If you found this episode meaningful, feel free to share it with someone you care about.
You are also welcome to leave a comment or message me to share your reflections or story.

Let us bring more understanding and warmth back to the very beginning of life.

欢迎报名参加2026年家庭系统排列工作坊：
📩 往期学员反馈，工作坊信息和报名链接：https://hipsy.nl/meeei

这周，我被荷兰产前与围产期心理学专家 Anna Verwaal 的研究深深触动。她提出一个非常深刻的观点：

我们今天许多情绪模式、关系困扰、安全感与自我价值感，可能并不只是从童年开始形成的。

有些故事，也许开始得更早。

也许，从受孕、怀孕到出生的那段历程，生命最早的经验，就已经悄悄影响着今天的我们。

这一集播客里，我分享了自己从 Anna Verwaal 那里学到的重要洞见，也分享了我最近参加 LIP（生命整合历程）培训时亲眼看见的一些深刻案例与感受。

回望生命的这个过程，不是为了责怪父母，也不是把人生简单归因于过去。

而是帮助我们带着更多意识、理解、温柔与觉察，重新认识自己，理解自己为何成为今天的自己。

这一集，我分享三个核心主题：

1. 安全感与信任感，也许从孕期就开始建立了
胎儿会感受到母亲在怀孕期间的情绪状态。母亲的焦虑、压力、平静与被支持感，都可能成为孩子最早期对世界的体验。

2. 被欢迎感，会深深影响我们的自我价值感
一个生命来到这个世界时，是否被期待、被欢迎、被珍惜，可能影响一个人内心深处的价值感与归属感。

3. 出生过程，可能影响我们面对压力的方式
艰难的分娩、早产、出生后与母亲分离等经历，都可能被身体记录下来，并在成年后影响我们面对压力与改变的反应。

一个温柔的提醒

理解过去，不是为了停留在过去。

而是为了停止无意识的重复，重新把爱带回自己生命里。

下一集，我会继续分享：

在中国家庭文化背景下，这些早期印记如何被放大。
作为成年人，我们可以如何疗愈与整合。
如果你正准备成为父母，如何从生命一开始，给孩子一个不同的起点。

愿这一集，陪你回到生命最初的地方。
愿你在那里，重新温柔地遇见自己。

This week, I was deeply moved by the work of Dutch pre and perinatal psychology expert Anna Verwaal. She offers a profound perspective:

Many of the emotional patterns, relationship struggles, feelings of safety, and sense of self-worth we experience today may not begin only in childhood.

Some stories may begin much earlier.

Perhaps the journey from conception, through pregnancy, to birth already leaves early imprints that continue to influence us throughout life.

In this episode, I share key insights I learned from Anna Verwaal, along with moving experiences and real examples I witnessed during my recent LIP (Life Integration Process) training.

Looking back at this journey of life is not about blaming our parents, nor about reducing our lives to the past.

It is about helping us meet ourselves with greater awareness, understanding, tenderness, and insight — and to understand why we became who we are today.

In this episode, I explore three core themes:

1. Safety and trust may begin forming during pregnancy
A baby can sense the emotional state of the mother during pregnancy. Her stress, fear, calmness, or sense of support may become some of the child’s earliest experiences of the world.

2. Feeling welcomed can shape our sense of self-worth
Whether a life is received with joy, uncertainty, pressure, or love may deeply influence a person’s inner sense of value, belonging, and right to exist.

3. The birth process may shape how we respond to pressure
Difficult births, premature birth, separation from the mother after birth, or intense delivery experiences may be stored in the body and later affect how we handle stress, change, and emotional overwhelm.

A gentle reminder

Understanding the past is not about staying trapped in it.

It is about ending unconscious repetition and bringing love back into our lives.

In Part 2, I will continue sharing:

How these early imprints may be amplified in Chinese family culture.
What adults can do to heal and integrate these early experiences.
How future parents can offer their children a healthier beginning from the very start.

May this episode guide you back to the beginning of life.
And may you meet yourself there with greater tenderness.

在小宇宙重新分享《发光发热》播客近两个月，我投入了很多时间与心力，上传了十四集节目，却几乎没有听众，也没有任何反馈。

就在我决定继续坚持下去，也刚刚开始迎来一些新听众的时候，我收到了第一条负面评论。

那一刻，我问了自己一个问题：

我是要停下来怀疑自己，还是继续往前走？

这一集播客，我分享这段经历带给我的五个重要领悟。

第一，负面反馈不一定是打击，也可能是一份成长的礼物。我带着平静与感谢回应了这份提醒，也感谢对方后来给出了更具体的建议。真正的成长，往往来自愿意听见不同声音，也愿意继续前行。

第二，当无人问津的时候，我重新回到最初的初心。我做这个播客，并不是为了流量、数据或订阅，而是希望在家庭最挣扎的时刻，给父母带去一点温暖和光亮。当父母重新找到力量，孩子也更有机会健康成长。

第三，没有今天的不完美，就没有明天的进步。如果总要等到准备充分、表达完美才开始，也许很多梦想永远不会开始。真实的人，都是在行动中学习，在表达中修正，在持续中成长。

第四，恐惧与创造力常常同行。这是伊丽莎白·吉尔伯特在《Big Magic》里分享的智慧。当我们试图消灭恐惧时，也可能同时压抑了创造力。很多时候，害怕并不代表不能开始。

第五，我们可以邀请恐惧同行，但绝不让它掌舵。恐惧可以坐在后排安静陪伴，你甚至可以感谢它想保护你。但人生的方向盘，必须握在自己手里。

我也真心推荐《Big Magic》这本书。如果你正在创作的边缘犹豫不决，它也许会给你很多勇气。

如果你也正在犹豫要不要开始一件事，或者怀疑自己是否已经够好才配出发，也许可以轻轻问自己一句：

我在等的，到底是什么？

愿你带着恐惧，带着不完美，迈出第一步。
愿我们在一步一步的行动中，成为梦想中的自己。

For nearly two months, I have invested a great deal of time and energy into re-sharing my podcast Shining and Radiating on the Xiaoyuzhou platform. I uploaded fourteen episodes, yet there were almost no listeners and no feedback at all.

Just when I decided to keep going, and had finally begun to welcome a few new listeners, I received my very first comment.

In that moment, I asked myself an important question:

Do I stop and doubt myself, or do I keep moving forward?

In this episode, I share five reflections that grew from this experience.

First, critical feedback is not always a defeat. Sometimes it can be a gift for growth. I responded with calmness and gratitude, and I appreciated that more specific suggestions followed. Growth often begins when we are willing to hear different voices while still continuing our path.

Second, when no one seems to notice, I return to my original intention. I did not create this podcast for numbers, subscribers, or popularity. I created it to bring a little warmth and light to parents during some of family life’s hardest moments. When parents regain strength, children are more able to flourish.

Third, without today’s imperfect steps, there is no tomorrow’s progress. If we wait until we are fully ready or perfect before we begin, many dreams may never begin at all. Real people grow through action, correction, and continued practice.

Fourth, fear and creativity often travel together. This is one of the key insights Elizabeth Gilbert shares in Big Magic. When we try to eliminate fear completely, we may also silence our creativity. Feeling afraid does not mean we cannot begin.

Fifth, we can invite fear along for the ride, but never let it drive. Fear may sit quietly in the back seat. You may even thank it for trying to protect you. But the steering wheel of your life must remain in your hands.

I sincerely recommend Big Magic. If you are standing at the edge of creating something meaningful, this book may offer you courage.

If you are hesitating to begin something, or doubting whether you are “good enough” to start, perhaps gently ask yourself:

What exactly am I waiting for?

May you take your first step with fear, with imperfection, and with courage.
May we all become the version of ourselves we dream of being, one step at a time.

欢迎报名参加2026年家庭系统排列工作坊：
📩 往期学员反馈，工作坊信息和报名链接：https://hipsy.nl/meeei

一位为了家庭放下事业的女性，移民海外后越来越迷茫、不快乐。
她找到我，希望我带她找到未来的路。

在陪伴她成长的过程中，我们一起耕耘了三个花园：
自己人生的花园、家庭与亲密关系的花园、原生家庭的花园。

这一集，我分享五个重要的领悟：

1. 感恩书写，让她重新看见生命中的光
原本只想写五分钟，却发现自己拥有远超想象的美好。
那一刻，久违的能量从心里升起。

2. 伴侣的“烦躁”背后，藏着一个未被说出口的需要
当丈夫因孩子生日派对而烦躁时，她没有评判，而是好奇地问：
“你的烦躁是从哪来的？”
答案让她意外——他需要自己的私人空间被尊重。

3. 放下评判，让她重新爱上了和伴侣聊天
她发现，原来自己从前有太多评判。
带着好奇心去了解他，竟成了一件无比快乐的事。

4. 三个花园，决定我们的人生是否绽放
第一个花园：自己的人生（事业、健康、社交）
第二个花园：家庭与亲密关系（伴侣、孩子、彼此支持）
第三个花园：原生家庭（治愈能治愈的，放下能放下的，整合能整合的）
只耕耘第一个花园，再多的果实也无人分享，风雨来时，也无人遮挡。

5. 有弹性的连接，不是捆绑
捆绑像一根绳子，让你窒息。
有弹性的连接像一根橡皮筋——你可以走得很远，但你知道，家的爱与祝福一直都在。

如果你此刻感到迷茫，也许不是你不努力。
也许是时候去看看：你的三个花园里，是不是有些地方被忽略了？

愿你，从捆绑走向连接，从迷茫走向力量。
愿我们，一起耕耘自己的花园，活出生机勃勃的自己。

A woman who gave up her career for her family found herself increasingly lost and unhappy after moving abroad.
She came to me, hoping I could help her find her path forward.

In the process of supporting her growth, we began to cultivate three gardens together:
the garden of her own life, the garden of family and intimate relationships, and the garden of her family of origin.

In this episode, I share five key insights:

1. Gratitude journaling helped her rediscover the light in her life
She initially planned to write for just five minutes, but soon realized how much beauty she already had.
In that moment, a long-lost sense of energy began to rise from within.

2. Behind a partner’s “irritation” is often an unspoken need
When her husband became frustrated during their child’s birthday party, she chose curiosity instead of judgment and asked:
“Where is your irritation coming from?”
The answer surprised her—he needed his personal space to be respected.

3. Letting go of judgment helped her rediscover joy in connecting with her partner
She realized how much judgment she had carried before.
Approaching him with curiosity turned their conversations into something genuinely enjoyable again.

4. The three gardens shape whether our life can truly flourish
The first garden: your own life (career, health, social life)
The second garden: family and intimate relationships (partner, children, mutual support)
The third garden: your family of origin (heal what can be healed, let go of what can be let go, integrate what can be integrated)

If we only cultivate the first garden, even abundant harvests can feel empty—there is no one to share them with, and no shelter when storms come.

5. Healthy connection is elastic, not entangling
Entanglement is like a rope—it suffocates and holds you back.
Elastic connection is like a rubber band—you can go far, even across the world, and still know that the love and support of your family are there.

If you are feeling lost right now, it may not be because you are not trying hard enough.
It may be time to gently look at your three gardens—have some parts been neglected?

May you move from entanglement to connection,
from confusion to strength.
May we all cultivate our gardens, and grow into a life that is alive and flourishing. 🌿

欢迎报名参加2026年家庭系统排列工作坊：
📩 往期学员反馈，工作坊信息和报名链接：https://hipsy.nl/meeei

三月，我回到中国陪伴父母。
在爱与连接中，我也再次走进原生家庭的洪流——焦虑、比较、指责与纠缠，让空间变得沉重。

当身体仍在康复、能量有限时，我更深地感受到一种拉扯：
一边想靠近，一边被消耗。

在这样的体验中，我开始问自己：
在这一切之中，我如何站稳自己？

这一集，我分享四个重要的领悟：

1. 家庭是一条洪流，每个人都有自己的漩涡
方向不同，节奏不同，拉扯因此产生。

2. 在所有漩涡之下，有一条更深的连接——爱
我们不需要改变彼此，而是学会不被卷入。

3. 选择自己的未来，是一种更深的爱
当我们站稳自己，才有力量去陪伴。

4. 梦想中的人生：平凡 · 平静 · 平和
不被外在绑架，回到内在安定，以温柔与接纳面对一切。

如果你也在家庭中感到拉扯与疲惫，
或许可以轻轻问自己：

“我如何在这一切之中，回到自己的位置？”

愿你，在洪流中站稳自己。
愿我们，一起活出梦想中的自己。

In March, I returned to China to spend time with my parents.
Alongside love and connection, I also stepped back into the familiar flow of my family system—where anxiety, comparison, and tension quietly shape the atmosphere.

With my body still recovering and energy limited, I felt a deep inner pull:
a longing to be close, and at the same time, a sense of being drained.

This led me to a simple but essential question:
How can I stay grounded within all of this?

In this episode, I share four key reflections:

1. A family is a flow, and each person has their own vortex
Different directions and rhythms create tension.

2. Beneath it all, there is a deeper connection—love
We don’t need to change each other, but learn not to be pulled in.

3. Choosing your own future is an act of love
When we stand steady, we can truly be present for others.

4. The dream life: ordinary · calm · peaceful
Living simply, returning to inner stillness, and meeting life with softness and acceptance.

If you feel pulled or exhausted within your family system,
you may gently ask yourself:

“How can I return to my own ground?”

May you stand steady within the flow.
May we all live as the dream version of ourselves.

🌿 Join the Family Constellations Workshop:
https://hipsy.nl/meeei