Hello, dear soul. If you are struggling with sadness, grief, anger, or deep loneliness this holiday season—especially because you've had to put up necessary boundaries with family—please know you are not alone. My heart is with you. It's okay to not feel "merry and bright" when you are dealing with real pain.

In this Christmas journal entry, I'm sharing my own experience of moving through the anger and hurt that comes from rejection and mistreatment. I also discuss my tendency as an INFP to idealize situations, and why self-love is the kindest thing you can do for yourself right now.

I see you, I hear you, and I’m sending you so much love. Hang in there.

XOXO,
Kate Harmony

📖 Journal Notes

0:00 Welcome to the Lightbearer's Library (A Message for the Lonely)
0:53 You Are Not Alone (Grief, Sadness, and Loneliness)
1:50 INFP Struggles: Idealism vs. Reality
3:19 Why Excusing Bad Behavior Hurts Your Self-Worth
4:45 Honoring Your Own Feelings: Why I'm Done Pretending
5:33 Dealing with Family Anger at Christmas
6:36 Processing Anger as a Stage of Grief
7:07 Self-Love: Protecting Yourself with Boundaries
7:49 Emotional Containment (The Plexiglass Analogy)
9:34 Hang In There, Dear Soul

🌿 About Kate Harmony 🌿

My main channel (Hack Music Theory) has over 250K subscribers and 10 million views. I've been a full-time YouTuber since 2017 and launched this personal channel (Lightbearer's Library) in 2025, where I'm making video versions of my journal entries.

Some of my favourite topics to talk about are practical philosophy, positive psychology, and personality type (I'm an INFP). But honestly, my journals contain counter-cultural thoughts about everything, so expect the unexpected! I also share practical ways I'm improving my mental health, with the hope that you might find them useful too.

I deleted all my social media accounts over 10 years ago, so I offer a loving perspective that's free from the divisive language commonly found in feeds nowadays.

If this sounds like your cup of tea, then I warmly welcome you into the Lightbearer's Library. Stay for a while, and please remember to subscribe: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCV2wps4NID9rrO08OuwZ5Lg?sub_confirmation=1

Are you struggling with anger that seems to be poisoning your mental, physical and energetic fields?

You're not alone, dear soul. In today's journal entry, I’m sharing how to navigate intense emotions through the "age-old" method of blasting metal music!

Song mentioned in the video:
At the Bottom by Leprous @leprouschannel
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T-Fa84wau4g

✨What is one song—heavy or not—that helps you move emotional energy through your body? Let me know in the comments below :)

Next ▶️
In [ Music soothes the soul: Grief playlist guide ], I dive into the discussion of why your daily soundtrack is programming your mind and shaping your mental health. Watch here: https://youtu.be/LOFs27Qt6PM

XOXO,
Kate Harmony

📖 Journal Notes
0:00 Welcome to the Lightbearer's Library
0:45 The Danger of Internalized Anger (Self-Anger)
2:04 Heavy Music for Emotional Release: Viewer Question
3:00 My Unexpected Tool: Blast Metal Music for Anger
4:32 Leprous Lyrics: Finding Inner Strength at the Bottom
6:08 The Practice of Infinite Forgiveness (70x7)
7:24 Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Your Anger
10:00 The Ultimate Litmus Test for True Forgiveness
11:09 Final Thoughts & Asking for Your Songs

#angerrelease #forgiveness #metalmusictherapy #emotionalhealth #shadowwork #introvert #lightbearerslibrary #journaling #emotionalhealing #personalgrowth #spiritualjourney

🌿 About Kate Harmony 🌿

My main channel (Hack Music Theory) has over 250K subscribers and 10 million views. I've been a full-time YouTuber since 2017 and launched this personal channel (Lightbearer's Library) in 2025, where I'm making video versions of my journal entries.

Some of my favourite topics to talk about are practical philosophy, positive psychology, and personality type (I'm an INFP). But honestly, my journals contain counter-cultural thoughts about everything, so expect the unexpected! I also share practical ways I'm improving my mental health, with the hope that you might find them useful too.

I deleted all my social media accounts over 10 years ago, so I offer a loving perspective that's free from the divisive language commonly found in feeds nowadays.

If this sounds like your cup of tea, then I warmly welcome you into the Lightbearer's Library. Stay for a while, and please remember to subscribe: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCV2wps4NID9rrO08OuwZ5Lg?sub_confirmation=1

The power to kindle the light within and stop the downward spiral into darkness is all about consciously choosing what we focus on. This is the only thing we truly control.

In this journal entry, we explore a transformative practice that can change your life, without having to change anything else. The practice of choosing what you place your attention on.

Have you noticed how much time you spend dwelling on the dark? That is time and energy you could be using to build self-trust and healthy habits. Join me as we discover how to:

- Recognize when we're dwelling on darkness and how to gently guide our minds back to the light.
- Understand why positive thinking is a daily habit, not an avoidance of reality.
- Cultivate light-bearing through simple practices like mindful meditation and breath awareness.
- Encourage ourselves to cut out negative inputs (news, social media) that drain our mental health.

This isn't about ignoring the bad; it's about valuing your soul enough to choose the path of spiraling upwards. Are you ready to make that choice?

✨ If this message resonated with you and you're ready to kindle the light within, reply with a 🌞 (sun emoji) in the comments below.

Next ▶️
In "Stop quitting your goals, change your identity" (https://youtu.be/Snq4f3Jr-VM) I dive into the foundational identity work necessary to not give up on your goals, reinforcing how the light-focus habit helps you build the self-trust needed for lasting change.

XOXO,
Kate Harmony

📖 Journal Notes

0:00 Solstice Reflection: Light vs. Darkness
0:52 Your Attention is the One Thing You Control
2:52 Breaking the Downward Spiral
4:45 Why Positive Thinking is a Habit, Not a Lie
7:20 Simple Meditation: Cultivating Presence
9:02 Breath Awareness & Grounding
9:52 Listen to Peaceful Music
10:29 Cutting Negative Inputs (Social Media & News)
11:35 Why Self-Trust is the First Step

#consciousfocus #mindsetshift #personaldevelopment #spiritualpractice #mindfulness #healingjourney #selfcompassion #selfcare #mentalhealth #solstice #dailymeditation #introvert #lightbearerslibrary #journaling #selfhelp

🌿 About Kate Harmony 🌿

My main channel (Hack Music Theory) has over 250K subscribers and 10 million views. I've been a full-time YouTuber since 2017 and launched this personal channel (Lightbearer's Library) in 2025, where I'm making video versions of my journal entries.

Some of my favourite topics to talk about are practical philosophy, positive psychology, and personality type (I'm an INFP). But honestly, my journals contain counter-cultural thoughts about everything, so expect the unexpected! I also share practical ways I'm improving my mental health, with the hope that you might find them useful too.

I deleted all my social media accounts over 10 years ago, so I offer a loving perspective that's free from the divisive language commonly found in feeds nowadays.

If this sounds like your cup of tea, then I warmly welcome you into the Lightbearer's Library. Stay for a while, and please remember to subscribe: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCV2wps4NID9rrO08OuwZ5Lg?sub_confirmation=1

Sometimes, dear soul, we need to show up and share our vulnerability just to prove to ourselves—and each other—that we are not alone in feeling like the world is falling apart.

In today's journal entry, I share my own personal struggle with feeling like giving up and offer simple, actionable self-care tips and coping strategies to help you keep going.

If you are navigating grief and anger from difficult family relationships, exhaustion from lack of sleep, or that chaotic inner voice telling you "What's the point?", this video is for you.

We explore the powerful connection between our physical body (sleep, nutrition, exercise) and our mental health, discussing how managing small sensory details can bring calm when your world feels chaotic.

Together, let's breathe deep, find a path forward, and remember that tomorrow is a new day. You are not crazy, and you are not alone.

✨ If this message resonated with you, simply reply with a ❤️ in the comments below. It helps me know you're out there.

Next ▶️

We talk about moving through the challenging emotions from difficult relationships in this journal entry. Check out [What is a toxic family?] https://youtu.be/LOFs27Qt6PM for a candid look at identifying and defining unhealthy dynamics in family relationships.

If you are struggling to manage overwhelming feelings like grief and anger, check out [Music soothes the soul: Grief playlist guide] https://youtu.be/O_I5hYI7MAM for a guide on creating a custom playlist to help soothe your soul.

XOXO,
Kate Harmony

📖 Journal Notes

0:00 How to Feel Like Giving Up and Still Show Up
0:49 The Physical Root of Mental Chaos (lack of sleep, nutrition, self-care)
2:46 Using Exercise and Movement to Stay Grounded
3:25 Processing Grief and Anger in Family Relationships
5:23 The Power of Showing Up & Being Accountable to Yourself
6:40 Practical Tools to Manage Overwhelm (crying, 5-minute tidy)
8:10 Finding Hope: Solstice, New Year, and Moving Onward

#notgivingup #mentalhealth #grief #selfcare #emotionalhealing #introvert #journaling #copingstrategies #emotionalrelease #lightbearerslibrary

New to the Library? Start Here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLc92wjOKEZyEm1zOQ9XqjaFIa3E_lP7mS

🌿 About Kate Harmony 🌿

My main channel (Hack Music Theory) has over 250K subscribers and 10 million views. I've been a full-time YouTuber since 2017 and launched this personal channel (Lightbearer's Library) in 2025, where I'm making video versions of my journal entries.

Some of my favourite topics to talk about are practical philosophy, positive psychology, and personality type (I'm an INFP). But honestly, my journals contain counter-cultural thoughts about everything, so expect the unexpected! I also share practical ways I'm improving my mental health, with the hope that you might find them useful too.

I deleted all my social media accounts over 10 years ago, so I offer a loving perspective that's free from the divisive language commonly found in feeds nowadays.

If this sounds like your cup of tea, then I warmly welcome you into the Lightbearer's Library. Stay for a while, and please remember to subscribe: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCV2wps4NID9rrO08OuwZ5Lg?sub_confirmation=1

Hello dear soul, welcome to the Lightbearer's Library 🕊️

Music has the power to heal, especially when we're going through grief.

In this journal entry I guide you through a process for creating your own grief playlist—one that can help you navigate all those big emotions.

Whether you need songs that acknowledge your sadness, calming instrumental tunes, or comforting familiar melodies, we walk through the different types of music that can offer emotional support. We also discuss how to tailor your playlist to specific times of day or emotional states, so it’s always there when you need it most.

Grieving is a process, and this guide will help you use music as a therapeutic tool to soothe your soul.

✨ I'd be honoured if you would share one song that has served to soothe you in times of grief. I would love to give it a listen, and it may give others ideas for their grief playlists.

🎶 My Recommended Albums

Solace by Patrick Dexter @PatrickDexterCello
Mise Sibéal by Sibéal @sibealmusicofficial8433
Constellation by Caoilfhionn Rose @CaoilfhionnRose
Meditations - Chant & Piano by Tim Allhoff @timallhoff

Next: ▶️ In Rethink the songs you listen to (https://youtu.be/582adujXZpY), I dive into the discussion of why your daily soundtrack is programming your mind and shaping your mental health.

Remember, you are not alone in this. I'd love to hear your thoughts and insights in the comments below.

XOXO,
Kate Harmony

📖 Journal Notes

0:00 Welcome to the Lightbearer's Library
0:57 Contemplating What You Need
5:11 Instrumental vs. Lyrics
6:19 Familiar vs. New Songs
7:24 Singles vs. Playlists vs. Albums
10:45 The Essential "Soothe or Overwhelm" Gauge

#griefplaylist #grief #griefjourney #griefsupport #musictherapy #emotionalhealing #sensitiveperson #hsp #infp #introvert #lightbearerslibrary #journaling #mentalhealth #selfcare #emotionalregulation #copingskills #healingjourney #musicplaylist

New to the Library? Start Here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLc92wjOKEZyEm1zOQ9XqjaFIa3E_lP7mS

🌿 About Kate Harmony 🌿

My main channel (Hack Music Theory) has over 250K subscribers and 10 million views. I've been a full-time YouTuber since 2017 and launched this personal channel (Lightbearer's Library) in 2025, where I'm making video versions of my journal entries.

Some of my favourite topics to talk about are practical philosophy, positive psychology, and personality type (I'm an INFP). But honestly, my journals contain counter-cultural thoughts about everything, so expect the unexpected! I also share practical ways I'm improving my mental health, with the hope that you might find them useful too.

I deleted all my social media accounts over 10 years ago, so I offer a loving perspective that's free from the divisive language commonly found in feeds nowadays.

If this sounds like your cup of tea, then I warmly welcome you into the Lightbearer's Library. Stay for a while, and please remember to subscribe: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCV2wps4NID9rrO08OuwZ5Lg?sub_confirmation=1

Hello dear soul, welcome to the Lightbearer's Library 🕊️

In this journal entry we’re building the emotional armor you need for family gatherings.

As a sensitive soul, you know the dread: that deep, sinking anxiety before going to a family gathering. You want to honor your traditions, but you fear the emotional cost, knowing a single interaction could lead you into emotional danger and days of recovery. However, if you feel obligated to attend, or feel the value of connecting with loved ones outweighs the risk, this video is for you.

The emotional armor consists of four strategies designed to help us sensitive introverts navigate potentially triggering situations, while staying grounded and safe.

We discuss how to prepare mentally, master non-reactive communication, use essential breaks to calm your nervous system, and maintain focus on your core intention so you can detach from any negative situations that arise.

✨ Lightbearer, I invite you to share ONE WORD that represents your core intention for attending your family gathering this year.

Remember, you are not alone in this. I'd love to hear your thoughts and insights in the comments below.

XOXO,
Kate Harmony

Next:

▶️ In [It's okay to say no to Christmas] https://youtu.be/__K0vqfHwnU, I dive into the essential conversation about setting boundaries to protect your peace and mental health during the holiday season.

▶️Check out [What is a toxic family?] https://youtu.be/LOFs27Qt6PM for a candid look at identifying and defining unhealthy dynamics in family relationships.

📖 Journal Notes
0:00 Welcome to the Lightbearer's Library
0:00 Prepare Mentally: Setting Expectations & Planning for Triggers
0:00 Non-Reactive Communication: How to Divert Drama
0:00 Take Breaks: Grounding & Calming Your Nervous System
0:00 Stay Focused on Your Intentions: Your Why
0:00 Bonus Tip: The Essential Exit Strategy

#emotionalarmor #familygatherings #anxiety #emotionaldanger #nonreactive #boundaries #selfprotection #sensitiveperson #highlysensitiveperson #selfcare #introvert #journaling #holidaystress #mentalhealth #lightbearerslibrary #Journaling #INFP

New to the Library? Start Here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLc92wjOKEZyEm1zOQ9XqjaFIa3E_lP7mS

🌿 About Kate Harmony 🌿

My main channel (Hack Music Theory) has over 250K subscribers and 10 million views. I've been a full-time YouTuber since 2017 and launched this personal channel (Lightbearer's Library) in 2025, where I'm making video versions of my journal entries.

Some of my favourite topics to talk about are practical philosophy, positive psychology, and personality type (I'm an INFP). But honestly, my journals contain counter-cultural thoughts about everything, so expect the unexpected! I also share practical ways I'm improving my mental health, with the hope that you might find them useful too.

I deleted all my social media accounts over 10 years ago, so I offer a loving perspective that's free from the divisive language commonly found in feeds nowadays.

If this sounds like your cup of tea, then I warmly welcome you into the Lightbearer's Library. Stay for a while, and please remember to subscribe: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCV2wps4NID9rrO08OuwZ5Lg?sub_confirmation=1

Hello dear soul. Welcome back to the Lightbearer's Library for a new cozy chat—a sacred space for journaling and self-reflection. In this video, we're defining what makes a toxic family.

In this candid journal entry, I’m wrestling with the emotionally charged question: “What is a toxic family?” This conversation is not about labeling people as "bad," but about identifying and defining the unhealthy toxic dynamic that can exist in family relationships. I share my own journey of moving past the "rose-colored glasses" of memory and facing the reality of current dynamics.

If you’ve ever felt obligated, manipulated, or questioned whether to set a boundary with loved ones—especially around the holidays—this video is for you. We discuss why a relationship requires two people to actively want it, and how true self-growth sometimes means choosing the difficult path of saying "no, thank you."

I invite you to check in with your feelings and intuitions to set a conscious, intentional path for your life and your mental health.

✨ Remember, you are not alone in this. I'd love to hear your thoughts and insights in the comments below.

XOXO,

Kate Harmony

Next:

▶️ In [It's okay to say no to Christmas](https://youtu.be/__K0vqfHwnU), I dive into the essential conversation about setting boundaries to protect your peace and mental health during the holiday season.

▶️Check out [Why the Golden Rule doesn’t work](https://youtu.be/ZDQd-hFtUkM) for a look at why treating others the way they want to be treated—not the way you want to be treated—is the foundation of healthy relationships and self-aware boundaries.

📖 Journal Notes

0:00 Welcome & Context: Why I Said No to Christmas

0:40 The Requirement for a Relationship to Grow

1:55 Why I Struggle with the Word "Toxic"

3:00 Defining the Toxic Dynamic, Not the People

4:30 The Moment I Realized the Golden Rule is Flawed

7:00 Finding True Self-Growth in Setting a Boundary

9:00 My Final Invitation to Intention & Self-Reflection

#toxicfamily #settingboundaries #mentalhealth #toxicdynamic #familydynamics #gaslighting #selfcare #personalgrowth #innerwork #sayingno #introvert #sensitivesoul #journaling #holidaystress #christmas #emotionalhealth #lightbearerslibrary

New to the Library? Start Here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLc92wjOKEZyEm1zOQ9XqjaFIa3E_lP7mS

🌿 About Kate Harmony 🌿

My main channel (Hack Music Theory) has over 250K subscribers and 10 million views. I've been a full-time YouTuber since 2017 and launched this personal channel (Lightbearer's Library) in 2025, where I'm making video versions of my journal entries.

Some of my favourite topics to talk about are practical philosophy, positive psychology, and personality type (I'm an INFP). But honestly, my journals contain counter-cultural thoughts about everything, so expect the unexpected! I also share practical ways I'm improving my mental health, with the hope that you might find them useful too.

I deleted all my social media accounts over 10 years ago, so I offer a loving perspective that's free from the divisive language commonly found in feeds nowadays.

If this sounds like your cup of tea, then I warmly welcome you into the Lightbearer's Library. Stay for a while, and please remember to subscribe: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCV2wps4NID9rrO08OuwZ5Lg?sub_confirmation=1

Hello dear soul, welcome to the Lightbearer's Library 🕊️

The holiday season brings an unspoken obligation to attend family gatherings. But for sensitive souls, spending time with toxic family or those who simply don't understand us can be genuinely harmful.

Join me in this journal entry as we explore why setting boundaries is the highest form of self-love and self-preservation. You have permission to choose your emotional peace over obligation. I share gentle scripts for a peaceful 'No,' and a guide to creating your own fulfilling, quiet sanctuary this Christmas.

✨ The Lightbearer's Challenge ✨

Decide on one small, deliberate act of self-care to transform your quiet holiday into a personal sanctuary of peace , and share it with me in the comments below. It may also help others to know they are not alone in choosing peace this Christmas.

▶️ Next
If setting this boundary has opened space for your peace, let's make that peace last by moving into the deep work of How to heal emotional hurt: https://youtu.be/z4nro-vdABE

XOXO,
Kate Harmony

📖 Journal Notes
0:00 The Unspoken Obligation of the Holidays
1:25 Reframe: Saying No is an Act of Self-Preservation
3:10 The Gentle Exit: How to Set the Boundary
4:45 Creating Your Sanctuary: An Alternative Holiday

#toxicfamily #settingboundaries #sayingno #emotionalhealth #selfcare #holidaystress #lightbearerslibrary #christmas #personalgrowth #innerwork #journaling

🌿 About Me 🌿

My main channel (Hack Music Theory) has over 250K subscribers and 10 million views. I've been a full-time YouTuber since 2017 and launched this personal channel (Lightbearer's Library) in 2025, where I'm making video versions of my journal entries.

Some of my favourite topics to talk about are practical philosophy, positive psychology, and personality type (I'm an INFP). But honestly, my journals contain counter-cultural thoughts about everything, so expect the unexpected! I also share practical ways I'm improving my mental health, with the hope that you might find them useful too.

I deleted all my social media accounts over 10 years ago, so I offer a loving perspective that's free from the divisive language commonly found in feeds nowadays.

If this sounds like your cup of tea, then I warmly welcome you into the Lightbearer's Library. Stay for a while, and please remember to subscribe: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCV2wps4NID9rrO08OuwZ5Lg?sub_confirmation=1