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Blake Kasemeier (@blakeoftoday) joins Sam and Cole this week — content creator, BJJ black belt, garage gym owner, dad of two, and friend of the show.

A long awaited conversation with Blake after two failed attempts (our fault, not his)! We cover Blake's transition into fatherhood, what he had to give up, and what he gained in the process. We compare notes on home gym setups, alternative music backgrounds, screen time, and how to construct a life that fits your unique skills and aligns with your values as a family. We talk about how depression in his 20s and the loss of his mother led him to be more vocal about his emotions in a way that ultimately reduced the power they had over him.

We are big fans of Blake and highly recommend following him on IG/YouTube.

Thanks for listening!

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Sacrifice isn't part of fatherhood. It's the point.

Sam and Cole get into something nobody told them going in: giving up what you want isn't a tax you pay for having kids — it's the actual goal. Sam and Cole talk through years of quietly shutting down the versions of themselves that want a 2-hour gym session, extended hunting trips, songwriting careers, and why that used to feel like loss and now feels like the win.

They trace it through the hard stretches that don't resolve into anything — the weeks where the baby's not sleeping, the wife's laid up, and nobody hands you a trophy at the end of it. Cole reframes it from the other direction: not sacrifice, but selfishness, and how easily that default takes over if you let it.

They also get into what it actually looks like to be the guy your family can rely on no matter what — and why giving yourself credit for showing up, even quietly, even when no one's watching, matters more than people think.

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If you died today, would you be happy with the example you set?

That question started this whole podcast. One year later, Sam and Cole go back to it — and the honest answer is still no. Which is kind of the point.

This week they walk through the questions that built the show: what your family would actually say about you if you were gone, what you've modeled as most important versus what you've just said out loud, and whether you've built a well-rounded example — not jacked with no emotional skills, not soft with no backbone.

They get into sobriety as a non-negotiable for a lot of guys, over-indexing on fitness as a way to avoid the harder emotional work, and the gap between what you tell your kids to do and what you actually do yourself.

Go write your own answers down before you talk yourself out of it.

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We're back after a two-month hiatus, and life didn't slow down while we were gone. Between a brutal round-two stomach flu that wrecked a family trip, a baseball season that's eaten every weeknight, a UK tour stop, and a genuinely terrifying dirt bike accident with a 13-year-old and a Life Flight helicopter, there was a lot to catch up on.

We also get into something we don't talk about enough — what happens to the rest of your day, and your life, when your brain is being rewired by your phone. Not the four-hours-a-day stat everyone already knows, but the part nobody's measuring: what it's doing to your ability to just read a book, sit in a car, or have a conversation.

In this episode:

• Why we disappeared for two months
• Coaching travel baseball and why the "season" never actually ends
• A UK festival, a legendary stage mosh pit, and catching up with Jack Osbourne
• Buying 10 acres of raw land in Idaho and the LARPing that's followed
• The dirt bike accident that ended in a helicopter — and what it taught us about risk, fear, and raising capable kids
• Why hardcore music (and staying sober) shaped one of our lives more than almost anything else
• Quitting the phone cold turkey and what that's actually revealed about the rest of the day

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Cole and Sam go straight to the listener questions this week, and the questions are good. From entrepreneurs struggling to be present with their kids while carrying the weight of being the sole breadwinner, to navigating spirituality in the household, to what actually happens to your marriage and your parenting when things get hard — this one covers a lot of ground.

They also get into what it actually means to "lead" your family, why gentle parenting without any firmness creates kids who know exactly how to work around you, and why the guy who's never wrong is the worst kind of leader in a household.

In this episode:

• The entrepreneur trap — when working hard is a STERB vs. when it's just a build phase
• Adopting faith into the household without being pushy
• Twins advice from a dad who actually has them
• Why you are the key variable in your kids' lives — not their behavior
• Managing conflict in marriage without pulling your kids into it
• Firmness vs. anger — and why your kids can tell the difference

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Most dads think about the physical side of being a good father — showing up, providing, being present. But there's a set of emotional skills that determine whether your kids actually want a relationship with you when they're adults. Cole sees it in his grief recovery work all the time — good dads, good people, blindsided by estrangement from their adult children and grandkids. It didn't have to happen. And it doesn't have to happen to you.

Cole and Sam break down the emotional tools that keep your most important relationships healthy over a lifetime — not just day to day, but decades from now.

In this episode:

• The emotional skills most dads were never taught and why it matters long term
• Why relationships fracture over time and how to stop the buildup before it blows
• The three things that keep any relationship emotionally clean — apologizing, forgiving, and saying the things that need to be said
• How to forgive someone without putting them on the spot
• Why your kids are watching all of this and logging it as the correct way to do relationships
• Why marriage is where all of these skills get tested the hardest

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Cole and Sam get fired up over a wave of mainstream articles — including a recent New York Times piece titled "I Regret Having Children" — and dig into what they see as a long-running cultural current pushing people away from family life. This one's less a how-to and more a rallying cry.

The guys talk about growing up in a culture that quietly told you kids were a burden, careers were the point, and big families were irresponsible — and how that messaging doesn't just stop when you become a parent. It targets your kids too.

But mostly? This episode is about the flip side. What it actually feels like to go all in on family. The Easter Sundays. The baseball games with your boys. The way becoming a dad can strip out the self-centeredness that was holding you back all along.

In this episode:

• The cultural propaganda machine and why it targets young people
• Why embracing "dad" as your identity is harder than it should be
• The creation analogy — why building a family might be the most meaningful thing you ever make
• Protecting your kids from messaging that chips away at their vision of the future
• Why staying home with your kids is not something to apologize for

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Sam and Cole are back after a few busy weeks with some major updates and reflections.

Big news: Sam and Raquel are expecting baby number four. Sam shares honest thoughts on how pregnancy turns everything upside down, what he's learned about identity and certainty through his thirties, and why having kids is the most profound change that can happen to you as a man.

Then they break down their kids' first jiu-jitsu tournament — the intensity, the tears, the wins, the losses, and what it actually looks like when young kids compete in combat sports.

Cole also shares his experience at a Shivworks self-defense course — two days of reality-based training on knife defense, entangled fighting, and managing unknown contacts. Not macho nonsense, but intelligent, evidence-based instruction from on how to avoid violence, deescalate situations, and survive worst-case scenarios if you have no choice.

They talk about why exposure to real violence (in training) shrinks the fantasy, why lifting weights matters for self-defense, and why being your family's protector isn't optional — it's what you signed up for.