Website: 🌐 www.andiclark.com

Self Assessment form: https://subscribepage.io/big-emotions-self-assessment

Book a 30-Minute Call with Andi – Get your questions answered and explore next steps: Book here: https://tidycal.com/andi1/bookacall

In this powerful conversation, former special education teacher and parent coach Amy Dooley joins Andi to explore what it really means to parent from a place of connection, not control. Amy shares her personal shift from traditional classroom discipline to connection-based parenting, and how that journey led her to support parents in transforming their own limiting beliefs.

Key Takeaways:

• Behavior is a signal, not the problem. When kids act out, it’s often a cry for safety, not defiance.
• You are worthy, even in the mess. Your child doesn’t need a perfect parent—they need a present one.
• Parenting shifts begin with self-work. To truly support your child, start by noticing and healing your own patterns.
• Control isn’t connection. Old-school discipline methods may suppress behavior, but they don't meet your child’s underlying needs.
• Safety comes before strategies. When your child feels seen and supported, their nervous system calms—and so does yours.

Episode Highlights:

[00:00] – Welcome + Amy's background as a teacher and homeschool parent

[02:00] – Early career belief: “Control = good teaching”

[04:50] – The moment Amy realized she wasn’t seeing the child—just the behavior

[06:30] – The Coke bottle metaphor: why behavior is the symptom, not the problem

[08:30] – Shifting from labeling kids to understanding them

[10:00] – Step one: Assigning positive intent to your child

[12:30] – Why parents must start with their own healing

[14:10] – “I am worthy. Period.” and what today’s kids are demanding

[16:00] – Parenting through generational change

[17:50] – The screwdriver and screw analogy: why parent shifts must come first

[20:00] – Why Amy left the classroom to work with parents

[22:30] – A child’s progress is limited when the home foundation is shaky

[25:30] – How presence—not perfection—builds trust

[28:00] – Feeling like you’re not enough as a parent

[30:00] – What “being enough” really looks like in the messiest moments

[33:00] – Why your own regulation matters more than the strategy

[35:00] – Amy’s story of timing meltdowns vs. being present

[37:00] – When you shift, your child’s behavior shifts too

[39:00] – Forgiving your former self and building new tools

[42:00] – The parenting purse analogy: replacing outdated tools

[45:30] – Final message: You are worthy. Your mess doesn’t disqualify you.

Resources Mentioned:

💡 Amy Dooley's Free Quiz: Discover your parenting strengths and get 3 connection-based strategies:

Website: 🌐 www.andiclark.com

Self Assessment form: https://subscribepage.io/big-emotions-self-assessment

Book a 30-Minute Call with Andi – Get your questions answered and explore next steps: Book here: https://tidycal.com/andi1/bookacall

• If your child melts down over getting dressed, avoids homework, or can’t stick with a simple routine—it’s not defiance or laziness. Their brain might be overwhelmed by the steps we’re asking them to take.
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• Many kids are expected to follow plans or routines before they’re ready—because no one has helped them with the basics their brain needs first.
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• Before kids can follow a list or stay focused, they need help with skills like noticing what’s happening around them, managing distractions, and stopping themselves from going off track.
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• When we slow things down and meet them at the step they can handle, they feel more successful—and that’s when real progress begins.
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• Your child isn’t failing. They just need support that matches how their brain works.

• [00:01:15] Why even adults struggle with attention—and how screens play a role
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• [00:06:40] Real-life examples of attention struggles and how they affect daily routines
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• [00:08:15] Introducing the fire metaphor: Kindling, logs, and flames of executive functioning
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• [00:10:20] The four foundational skills that must come before planning
• 
  
• [00:13:10] Why giving your child a “beautiful visual schedule” might still lead to meltdowns
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• [00:14:35] How skipping steps on the ladder causes overwhelm, shutdowns, and feelings of failure
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• [00:16:00] The hidden complexity of getting dressed—and why it’s not just one task
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• [00:18:45] How brain maturation and scaffolding work together over time
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• Want to better understand your child’s executive functioning challenges?
• Start with the Kids With Big Emotions Self-Assessment:
• 👉 https://andiclark.com/assessment
• 
  

Ready to explore personalized support?

Book a free 30-minute call to see if 1:1 coaching is the right fit for your family:

👉 https://tidycal.com/andi1/bookacall

Website: 🌐 www.andiclark.com

Support Circle Membership: https://andiclark.thrivecart.com/support-circle/

Self Assessment form: https://subscribepage.io/big-emotions-self-assessment

Book a 30-Minute Call with Andi – Get your questions answered and explore next steps: Book here: https://tidycal.com/andi1/bookacall

In this powerful conversation, I sit down with Licensed Professional Counselor and Registered Play Therapist Megan Hamm, who has spent 17+ years supporting children and families through trauma, crisis, and complex emotional needs.

Together, we unpack why traditional views of “bad behavior” miss the mark—and what parents can do instead to truly support their children in moments of big emotion.

Whether you’re navigating daily meltdowns, feeling stuck in reaction mode, or simply want to build a deeper connection with your child, Megan offers a compassionate, grounded framework to help you shift from managing behavior to understanding it.

Key Takeaways

• Behavior is communication: Every outburst or meltdown is a signal, not a problem to be fixed.
• Connection comes before correction: Real change begins with relationship, not control.
• In-the-moment responses aren’t the time for teaching: Kids in crisis need safety, not consequences.
• You can’t teach what you haven’t practiced: Parents must build their own regulation tools first.
• Modeling matters more than managing: Your calm presence teaches more than any strategy.
• Changing the environment matters: Preventing crisis often starts with how we set up the home and routine.

Episode Highlights

[00:00] - Introduction to Megan and her background in trauma-informed care

[04:00] - The shift from changing behavior to understanding behavior

[07:00] - What to do when your child is in meltdown: A crisis-response lens

[09:00] - Why calm connection beats consequence every time

[12:00] - How to prepare your home and your nervous system for high-emotion moments

[16:00] - Practicing regulation when things are not chaotic—why timing matters

[20:00] - Why Megan does more parent coaching than direct child therapy

[25:00] - What children really need during a meltdown—and why “fixing” doesn’t work

[30:00] - Letting kids learn through experience and mistakes, without shaming

[36:00] - What to say when others don’t understand your parenting approach

[41:00] - Modeling, natural consequences, and what actually builds lifelong skills

[48:00] - Megan’s book and how to work with her

Resources Mentioned

🔗 Megan Hamm’s Website: www.meganmhamm.com

📖 Book – The Heart of the Matter: Buy here https://buy.stripe.com/5kA4hxcDc2zd0GkbIJ

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