Running your own business is rewarding, but let’s be honest—it can also be exhausting, overwhelming, and sometimes downright soul-sucking. In this episode, I got to guest on the Gratitude Geek podcast with three powerhouse solopreneurs — Deb Davis, Di Hilstad and Gratitude Geek host, Kandas Rodarte. We talked about survival-level self-care strategies for women over 40. From setting boundaries and asking for help to creating your personal “Survivor’s Toolkit,” we cover practical, real-world ways to protect your energy, thrive in your work or business, and still find time to breathe. Whether you’re facing burnout, health challenges, or just want to reclaim your calendar, this episode is packed with actionable tips to help you survive — and even enjoy — entrepreneurship.

This encore presentation of the Gratitude Geek episode is part of my summer playlist series, where I'm re-sharing some of my favorite conversations from guesting on other podcasts this past year. I'm so grateful to Kandas for creating a space where I could share my hard-won lessons about self-care and share my toolkit with you.

00:00 Introduction to Self-Care for Solopreneurs

00:49 Introducing Self-Care for Solopreneurs guests

04:20 Mortality and Self-Care

07:32 Self-care Toolkit for Solopreneurs

10:22 Being Intentional, Setting Boundaries

20:09 Pause before your body tells you to

28:47 Giving or being taken advantage of?

36:49 Comfort sharing story, setting boundaries

40:51 Lightening Round Questions

47:06 Conclusion: Spill the Tea on Setting Boundaries

Links

• Deb: https://upage.in/deb
• Di: http://instagram.com/dihils
• Energy Mapping: https://designingyour.life/insights/find-your-flow-with-energy-maps/
• Full Show Notes: https://kandasrodarte.com/287

Meet the Host of Gratitude Geek

Kandas Rodarte is a business coach, podcaster, and internet marketing pioneer who has been helping women solopreneurs over 40 grow businesses that fit their lives for decades. Living with metastatic breast cancer since 2014, she understands firsthand the importance of self-care, boundaries, and working smart—less hustle, more impact.

Meet the Guests

Deb Davis is an accomplished headshot photographer and author, known for her stress-free sessions and expert expression coaching. She serves as President of Professional Photographers of Michigan (2024–2025) and is an elite Associate with the Peter Hurley Photography Group. Deb helps professionals over 40 show up fully, inside and out, using photography as a tool to highlight confidence and authenticity. Her personal journey as a breast cancer survivor has reshaped her approach to self-care and legacy, making her a relatable guide for solopreneurs navigating life and work simultaneously.

Dianna “Di” Hilstad is a bold, creative entrepreneur and solopreneur coach who helps women build businesses that feel authentic. Known for blending strategy with sass, Di has reinvented herself multiple times, including navigating breast cancer, a hysterectomy, and a broken ankle. She champions asking for help, setting boundaries, and thinking outside the box, making her insights invaluable for women balancing health, life, and business.

Connect with Guest Host

• Gratitude Geek Email list here: http://kandasrodarte.com/subscribe
• Help finance the show: http://kandasrodarte.com/support
• Affiliate Disclosure: Some links in the show notes may be affiliate links, which means I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. Thank you for supporting the show!

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A proud member of the Feminist Podcasters Collective.

Listening back to this conversation with Amy Stone a year after we recorded it, what struck me most is how much of my story is really a story about frustration. Not frustration as a problem to fix, but frustration as the thing that has prompted almost every pivot I've made — from journalism to ministry, from church administration to yoga teacher training, and finally to founding Defy the Trend. Amy has a gift for drawing out the best nuggets from a person’s story, and in this episode she pulls the thread through nearly all of mine, landing me right where I am today: an imperfectly adulting burnout recovery coach and sustainability strategist who believes rest is liberation.

This episode is part of my summer playlist series, where I'm re-sharing some of my favorite conversations from guesting on other podcasts this past year. I'm so grateful to Amy for creating a space where I could go deep on faith, burnout, and the "both/and" mindset that changed everything for me.

What we talked about in this episode:

• My career journey from journalist to minister to burnout recovery coach
• The inside story of church administration — institutional resistance, advocating for change, and where that frustration led me
• How burnout showed up in ministry, and why yoga became a lifeline and a "both/and" practice
• Leaning on spiritual practice to move through tough, high-pressure decisions
• Leaving the church as a disgruntled teen, and finding my way back to faith and community decades later
• Real talk on salaries and sustainability in faith-based work
• The moment mid-yoga-practice when "either/or" cracked open into "both/and" — and how that became the seed of Defy the Trend
• Where my work, my podcast, and this "both/and" philosophy stand today

Chapters:

00:00 Intro to The Art of Imperfect Adulting

00:53 Amy's Into to Nicole's Journey

03:50 Warm-up: Words of Kindness

05:50 Frustration that Lead to a Pivot

09:11 Cause of Frustration

10:45 Navigating Resistance in Innovation

12:30 Hiring in the Church

20:36 Structural Support for Innovation

21:48 Religion: A hot button and good case study

29:45 Nicole's Quarter Life Crisis of Faith

36:40 What Working for the Church is Like

41:41 Yoga in Nicole's Path

46:23 Yoga and Ministry: Both/And

52:40 Life as a Burnout Recovery Coach

54:35 Nicole's Podcast Journey

56:26 Fun Questions

59:23 Graititude

Connect with Amy Stone, Host, The Art of Imperfect Adulting):

• Website: https://www.imperfectadulting.com
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theartof_imperfect_adulting
• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@imperfectadulting
• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@imperfectadulting
• Support the show: https://imperfect-adulting.captivate.fm/support

CONNECT WITH NICOLE HAVELKA:

• Newsletter: https://defythetrend.substack.com/
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicole-havelka-35762022/
• Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/just-rest.bsky.social
• Work with Nicole: https://defythetrend.com/contact/
• Leave a Voice Memo: http://speakpipe.com/justrest

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This is my summer playlist of podcasts where I guested this past year. I was honestly challenged by coaches Kim Romain and Louise Neil on the Empowered and Embodied Show to reflect more thoughtfully on what has shifted for me as I’ve worked on preventing and recovering from burnout in my own life. This is a side of the conversation you’d rarely get when I’m the one asking the questions.

Two things really stood out:

• The discussion about “proving myself” and what energy have I replaced that with?
• And the conversation about what success looks like for you? I’m not going to spoil what Louise says is her answer, but please listen because it is really good.

We also dive into:

• How burnout shows up differently for each of us, and why it’s not just an individual problem but a collective one
• The pressure to constantly prove our worth through productivity and “being the best”
• Why the word can’t disempowers us, and how to reclaim choice in our lives and work
• The surprising overlaps between burnout, perimenopause, and values misalignment
• Practical ways to create compassionate workplaces, embrace rest, and focus on impact instead of output

If you’ve ever felt buried under the weight of doing it all, this conversation will remind you that rest is not only possible, it’s essential, powerful, and deeply radical.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Empowerment and Embodied Show Encore
05:54 "Proving Yourself" Energy
11:56 The Challenge of Being Present
14:20 Defining Success for Ourselves
22:15 The Ripple Effect of Slowing Down
23:36 Different Causes of Burnout
31:30 Perimenopause Contributing to Burnout
39:05 The Joy of Making Your Own Choices
42:51 What is my work to do?
45:55 Nicole's Conclusion & More Great Pods

Join a circle of changemakers committed to leading with purpose, presence and ease inside Kim's Rising Visionaries mentorship program and check out her new podcast, Questioning our Conditioning. Reclaim your career and confidence during midlife through Louise's Rise & Redefine program.

Rising Visionaries: https://kimromain.com/rising-visionaries
Rise and Redefine program: https://louiseneil.com/services/rise-and-redefine

Questioning our Conditioning podcast

On Substack: https://thekimromain.substack.com/p/why-i-started-questioning-our-conditioning

On YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@thekimromain

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This is my summer playlist of podcasts where I guested this past year. I am really excited to share this podcast with you because it shows a different side of me that rarely gets out in public. (DIdya know I trained to be a film and theater critic in college?) I was invited on Media/Lit where all media gets treated as great works of literature with hosts Randy Allain and Kris Ingersol. I was overjoyed to invite these generous hosts to watch and discuss one of my all-time favorite movies, Contact (1997). You get to hear why this movie was formative in my journey and how it still resonates with me today.

We cover everything from interstellar transmissions to a killer performance from Jodie Foster. We compare this piece of media to other important cultural texts, and most importantly, we explore the intersection of science and faith. As always, the panel wraps up the chat with an extra credit section in which we pick our “Bardo Buddies” and take home a prop from the film

Want to get in touch? Visit our⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ &⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ page! Follow us on YouTube:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠@MediaLitPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠,⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠@media.lit.pod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, Bluesky:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠@media-lit.bsky.social⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, and Twitter:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠@MediaLitPod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! Also, hit us with your questions, comments, and episode requests at ⁠⁠⁠media.slash.lit@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠.

Chapters

00:00 Nicole's Excitement to be on Media/Lit
01:09 Welcome to Media/Lit (encore)
03:39 Burnout Recovery Coaching in Challenging Times
04:59 Introduction to Contact (1997)
11:32 Insights on Rewatching Contact's Famous Intro
17:46 Personal Connections to the Movie
28:20 Gender Representation in the Film
33:40 The Role of Science and Faith in the Narrative
37:19 Contact as Literature: CGI Corner
43:27 Themes of the Film
55:18 Pop Culture References and their Impact
59:43 Contact Comparatives
01:08:09 Favorite Performance in the Film
01:20:40 Favorite Scenes
01:30:10 Most Quotable Line
01:46:15 Who is your Bardo Buddy?
01:52:21 What prop would you take?
02:00:22 Closing
02:06:07 Nicole's Final Thoughts on Media/Lit

CONNECT WITH RANDY, KRIS & MEDIA/LIT:

Website: https://mediaslashlit.weebly.com/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@MediaLitPodcast

Instagram: @media.lit.pod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Bluesky:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠@media-lit.bsky.social⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Twitter:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠@MediaLitPod

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This is my summer playlist of podcasts where I guested this past year. I am so excited to share this provocative conversation I had with Artist and Activist Stephanie Graham on her podcast, nosey AF.

We talk about what it actually takes to stop running on empty. I share how I went from being a self-described "recovering grind culture addict" to building a whole business around helping high-achievers and everyday radicals reclaim their time and energy. I get to introduce you to the Calm Calendar Club, a program built around planning your life in a way that actually honors your energy — not just squeezes more out of it. If you've ever felt like you're dropping the ball, this conversation will remind you: you're not dropping balls, you're just carrying too many.

What We Talk About

Okay, so pull up a chair — this one goes places.

1. How Nicole went from overachiever to burnout recovery coach (and what growing up in Omaha, Nebraska had to do with it)
2. Why hustle culture is literally designed for you to fail — and why that's not your fault
3. Burnout in ministry and why being "on call 24/7" is just not human
4. What COVID quietly taught us about the power of saying no
5. The seven types of rest from Sacred Rest by Sandra Dalton-Smith — sleep is just ONE of them
6. How planning your calendar with your values first changes everything
7. Why ADHD and neurodivergent folks need planning systems that actually work for their brains
8. The Calm Calendar Club: what it is, how it works, and who it's for
9. Why "you're not failing the system — you're just trying to do too much"
10. The radical act of rest as resistance, especially for Black women (shoutout to Tricia Hersey's Rest Is Resistance)
11. Doing your part in activism and community work — without burning yourself all the way down

Things We Mentioned

Calm Calendar Club: defythetrend.com/calm-calendar

Rest Is Resistance by Tricia Hersey (affiliate link)

Sacred Rest by Sandra Dalton-Smith (the seven types of rest: physical, mental, sensory, creative, social, emotional, and spiritual) (affiliate link)

Artist Admin Hour — Stephanie's weekly co-working session for artists tackling the admin work that makes the work work → artistadminhour.com

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Summer Playlist

02:11 Welcome to noseyAF

03:16 My Grind Culture Story

09:35 Burnout is Common in Ministry

16:32 The Impact of COVID on Volunteerism and Community Engagement

19:26 Involving more people as volunteers

24:57 Cultural Attitudes Towards Busyness and Rest

27:02 Reducing your judgement of laziness

33:04 Understanding the Time Management Challenge

36:03 Creating Accessible Planning Solutions

39:44 Time Management for Self-Care

42:30 The System is Designed for Failure

50:44 Engaging with the World Without Burnout

01:06:09 Ask Nicole Anything

Connect with Stephanie

• Website: noseyaf.com
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stephaniegraham?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw==
• Substack: https://substack.com/@noseyaf
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stephaniegraham/

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A proud member of the Feminist Podcasters Collective.

This is my summer playlist of podcast where I guested this past year. In this appearance on “Burnout, Invisible Labor & the Feminist Fight to Rest” on Feminist Founders, I talk with host Becky Mollenkamp about how women’s invisible labor – caregiving, administration, and housework – contributes to their higher rates of burnout. I’ve alluded to this dynamic all of the first season, but I go into much more depth with Becky Mollenkamp on Feminist Founders about how this impacts women, their relationships, their bodies and we talk about simple, game-changing strategies.

Take a listen to my conversation with Becky on Feminist Founders:

💬 Discussed in This Episode

• What burnout really is (and why it’s more than just being tired)
• How gendered expectations and invisible labor feed chronic overwhelm
• The critical role of embodiment and nervous system work in healing
• Why capitalist and white supremacist systems depend on our burnout
• The illusion of spaciousness and what it means to actually rest
• How meditation doesn’t have to look like sitting still and saying "om"
• The power of giving yourself permission to not volunteer at the damn PTO
• How to plan your schedule to not be a human version of a doctor's waiting room
• Why moms get guilted and dads don’t—and what that says about our systems

📚 Resources Mentioned

"Burnout" by Emily & Amelia Nagoski

"Fair Play" by Eve Rodsky

"Sacred Rest" by Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith

"Essentialism" by Greg McKeown

"Rest is Resistance" by Tricia Hersey

The Nap Ministry on Instagram

🎧 This show is part of the Feminist Podcast Collective, a community of progressive creators reclaiming media through storytelling and solidarity.

📙 Get "Liberate Your Business" by Becky Mollenkamp at https://liberateyourbusiness.com/

00:00 Introduction to Summer Playlist Series on Just Rest

01:22 Introduction to Feminist Founder's series on Women's Invisible Labor

02:33 New Awareness of Burnout

03:11 Definition of Burnout

06:11 Invisible Labor and Its Impact on Women

08:25 Cultural Pressures on Women that Contribute to Burnout

14:13 Strategies for Managing Burnout

22:00 Creating Space for Rest and Joy

26:17 The Importance of Mindfulness and Somatic Practices

32:55 Collective Trauma and the Impact of Modern Life

34:58 Strategies for Avoiding Burnout

38:21 Understanding Rest and Its Many Forms

43:30 Creativity, Consumption, and the Need for Spaciousness

Connect with Becky Mollenkamp & Feminist Founders

Website: https://feministfounders.co/

Threads: https://threads.com/@beckymollenkamp

Substack: https://feministfounders.substack.com

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/feminist-business/

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Season 1 of Just Rest is officially done — and I went live on Substack to celebrate, say thank you, and make some big announcements about what's coming next, including a major life change that starts this fall. (Note: the sound of the episode isn’t the quality I usually have because of being live and some tech issues.)

In this live session, we talk about:

• The Season 1 Cozy Wrap Party highlights — trivia, favorite clips, and community
• 12 episodes, 700+ downloads, and the people who made it happen
• A reading of every single name who helped crowdfund this podcast into existence
• The summer season: guest appearance episodes dropping every other week
• The Year of Expansion — what it is, where I'm headed first, and why I'm doing it
• An invitation for you to help shape Season 2

Want to support the Year of Expansion? Here's how:

• 🎙️ Become a Rest Rebel Collective subscriber — defythetrend.substack.com
• 💛 Become a Founding Member — defythetrend.substack.com
• 🙏 Help fund Radical Dharma Camp — https://square.link/u/Q8yx3Fqq
• 🎧 Suggest a Season 2 guest or topic — defythetrend@gmail.com
• 🎤 Leave a voice memo on SpeakPipe — speakpipe.com/justrest
• 📨 Send a note of encouragement — defythetrend@gmail.com

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Just Rest Podcast and Season One Wrap-Up
02:20 Just Rest Summer Playlist
04:12 YOUR suggestions for Season 2
06:43 Life Update: Year of Expansion and Nomadic Living
10:22 Exploring New Places and Networking Opportunities
12:36 Ways to Support the Podcast and Community
14:46 Help Nicole Attend Radical Dharma Camp

CONNECT WITH NICOLE HAVELKA:

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A proud member of the Feminist Podcasters Collective.

Season one ends the way it began — with radical permission. In this final episode, Nicole compiles the "Dear Rest Rebels" messages from every guest this season, and the result is something you'll want to save, return to, and play on repeat. Hear wisdom from Dana Tenille Weekes, Jordan Maney, Jacki Hayes, Taina Brown, Elaina Ramsey, Ixchel Lunar, Becky Mollenkamp, Malik Turley, and Catharine Montgomery — each offering their own unique reminder that you are enough, you are worthy, and it is safe to rest. And Anna DeShawn gets the final word, because honestly? She earned it. Bookmark this one. Come back to it when the world is loud and your body is tired. This is your permission slip, on repeat.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Dear Rest Rebels Compilation Episode

02:39 Dear Rest Rebels Notes

07:13 Season Wrap-Up and Future Plans

CONNECT WITH GUESTS

Dana Tennille Weekes: https://therestofuspodcast.com/
Jordan Maney: https://substack.com/@thejordanmaney
Jacki Hayes: https://www.jackihayes.co/
Taina Brown: info@tainambrown.com
Ixchel Lunar: https://ixchellunar.com/
Malik Turley: https://tapasmovement.com
Catharine Montgomery: https://thebettertogetheragency.com
Becky Mollenkamp: https://beckymollenkamp.com/
Elaina Ramsey: https://www.faithchoiceohio.org
Anna DeShawn: https://queernewspod.substack.com

CONNECT WITH NICOLE HAVELKA:

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