Running your own business is rewarding, but let’s be honest—it can also be exhausting, overwhelming, and sometimes downright soul-sucking. In this episode, I got to guest on the Gratitude Geek podcast with three powerhouse solopreneurs — Deb Davis, Di Hilstad and Gratitude Geek host, Kandas Rodarte. We talked about survival-level self-care strategies for women over 40. From setting boundaries and asking for help to creating your personal “Survivor’s Toolkit,” we cover practical, real-world ways to protect your energy, thrive in your work or business, and still find time to breathe. Whether you’re facing burnout, health challenges, or just want to reclaim your calendar, this episode is packed with actionable tips to help you survive — and even enjoy — entrepreneurship.

This encore presentation of the Gratitude Geek episode is part of my summer playlist series, where I'm re-sharing some of my favorite conversations from guesting on other podcasts this past year. I'm so grateful to Kandas for creating a space where I could share my hard-won lessons about self-care and share my toolkit with you.

00:00 Introduction to Self-Care for Solopreneurs

00:49 Introducing Self-Care for Solopreneurs guests

04:20 Mortality and Self-Care

07:32 Self-care Toolkit for Solopreneurs

10:22 Being Intentional, Setting Boundaries

20:09 Pause before your body tells you to

28:47 Giving or being taken advantage of?

36:49 Comfort sharing story, setting boundaries

40:51 Lightening Round Questions

47:06 Conclusion: Spill the Tea on Setting Boundaries

Links

• Deb: https://upage.in/deb
• Di: http://instagram.com/dihils
• Energy Mapping: https://designingyour.life/insights/find-your-flow-with-energy-maps/
• Full Show Notes: https://kandasrodarte.com/287

Meet the Host of Gratitude Geek

Kandas Rodarte is a business coach, podcaster, and internet marketing pioneer who has been helping women solopreneurs over 40 grow businesses that fit their lives for decades. Living with metastatic breast cancer since 2014, she understands firsthand the importance of self-care, boundaries, and working smart—less hustle, more impact.

Meet the Guests

Deb Davis is an accomplished headshot photographer and author, known for her stress-free sessions and expert expression coaching. She serves as President of Professional Photographers of Michigan (2024–2025) and is an elite Associate with the Peter Hurley Photography Group. Deb helps professionals over 40 show up fully, inside and out, using photography as a tool to highlight confidence and authenticity. Her personal journey as a breast cancer survivor has reshaped her approach to self-care and legacy, making her a relatable guide for solopreneurs navigating life and work simultaneously.

Dianna “Di” Hilstad is a bold, creative entrepreneur and solopreneur coach who helps women build businesses that feel authentic. Known for blending strategy with sass, Di has reinvented herself multiple times, including navigating breast cancer, a hysterectomy, and a broken ankle. She champions asking for help, setting boundaries, and thinking outside the box, making her insights invaluable for women balancing health, life, and business.

Connect with Guest Host

• Gratitude Geek Email list here: http://kandasrodarte.com/subscribe
• Help finance the show: http://kandasrodarte.com/support
• Affiliate Disclosure: Some links in the show notes may be affiliate links, which means I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. Thank you for supporting the show!

Connect with Nicole Havelka

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A proud member of the Feminist Podcasters Collective.

Listening back to this conversation with Amy Stone a year after we recorded it, what struck me most is how much of my story is really a story about frustration. Not frustration as a problem to fix, but frustration as the thing that has prompted almost every pivot I've made — from journalism to ministry, from church administration to yoga teacher training, and finally to founding Defy the Trend. Amy has a gift for drawing out the best nuggets from a person’s story, and in this episode she pulls the thread through nearly all of mine, landing me right where I am today: an imperfectly adulting burnout recovery coach and sustainability strategist who believes rest is liberation.

This episode is part of my summer playlist series, where I'm re-sharing some of my favorite conversations from guesting on other podcasts this past year. I'm so grateful to Amy for creating a space where I could go deep on faith, burnout, and the "both/and" mindset that changed everything for me.

What we talked about in this episode:

• My career journey from journalist to minister to burnout recovery coach
• The inside story of church administration — institutional resistance, advocating for change, and where that frustration led me
• How burnout showed up in ministry, and why yoga became a lifeline and a "both/and" practice
• Leaning on spiritual practice to move through tough, high-pressure decisions
• Leaving the church as a disgruntled teen, and finding my way back to faith and community decades later
• Real talk on salaries and sustainability in faith-based work
• The moment mid-yoga-practice when "either/or" cracked open into "both/and" — and how that became the seed of Defy the Trend
• Where my work, my podcast, and this "both/and" philosophy stand today

Chapters:

00:00 Intro to The Art of Imperfect Adulting

00:53 Amy's Into to Nicole's Journey

03:50 Warm-up: Words of Kindness

05:50 Frustration that Lead to a Pivot

09:11 Cause of Frustration

10:45 Navigating Resistance in Innovation

12:30 Hiring in the Church

20:36 Structural Support for Innovation

21:48 Religion: A hot button and good case study

29:45 Nicole's Quarter Life Crisis of Faith

36:40 What Working for the Church is Like

41:41 Yoga in Nicole's Path

46:23 Yoga and Ministry: Both/And

52:40 Life as a Burnout Recovery Coach

54:35 Nicole's Podcast Journey

56:26 Fun Questions

59:23 Graititude

Connect with Amy Stone, Host, The Art of Imperfect Adulting):

• Website: https://www.imperfectadulting.com
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theartof_imperfect_adulting
• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@imperfectadulting
• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@imperfectadulting
• Support the show: https://imperfect-adulting.captivate.fm/support

CONNECT WITH NICOLE HAVELKA:

• Newsletter: https://defythetrend.substack.com/
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicole-havelka-35762022/
• Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/just-rest.bsky.social
• Work with Nicole: https://defythetrend.com/contact/
• Leave a Voice Memo: http://speakpipe.com/justrest

Send me a message via Speakpipe.

A proud member of the Feminist Podcasters Collective.

This is my summer playlist of podcasts where I guested this past year. I was honestly challenged by coaches Kim Romain and Louise Neil on the Empowered and Embodied Show to reflect more thoughtfully on what has shifted for me as I’ve worked on preventing and recovering from burnout in my own life. This is a side of the conversation you’d rarely get when I’m the one asking the questions.

Two things really stood out:

• The discussion about “proving myself” and what energy have I replaced that with?
• And the conversation about what success looks like for you? I’m not going to spoil what Louise says is her answer, but please listen because it is really good.

We also dive into:

• How burnout shows up differently for each of us, and why it’s not just an individual problem but a collective one
• The pressure to constantly prove our worth through productivity and “being the best”
• Why the word can’t disempowers us, and how to reclaim choice in our lives and work
• The surprising overlaps between burnout, perimenopause, and values misalignment
• Practical ways to create compassionate workplaces, embrace rest, and focus on impact instead of output

If you’ve ever felt buried under the weight of doing it all, this conversation will remind you that rest is not only possible, it’s essential, powerful, and deeply radical.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Empowerment and Embodied Show Encore
05:54 "Proving Yourself" Energy
11:56 The Challenge of Being Present
14:20 Defining Success for Ourselves
22:15 The Ripple Effect of Slowing Down
23:36 Different Causes of Burnout
31:30 Perimenopause Contributing to Burnout
39:05 The Joy of Making Your Own Choices
42:51 What is my work to do?
45:55 Nicole's Conclusion & More Great Pods

Join a circle of changemakers committed to leading with purpose, presence and ease inside Kim's Rising Visionaries mentorship program and check out her new podcast, Questioning our Conditioning. Reclaim your career and confidence during midlife through Louise's Rise & Redefine program.

Rising Visionaries: https://kimromain.com/rising-visionaries
Rise and Redefine program: https://louiseneil.com/services/rise-and-redefine

Questioning our Conditioning podcast

On Substack: https://thekimromain.substack.com/p/why-i-started-questioning-our-conditioning

On YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@thekimromain

CONNECT WITH NICOLE HAVELKA:

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Send me a message via Speakpipe.

A proud member of the Feminist Podcasters Collective.