Summary Michele welcomes back Jenni Herchenbach of Flourish Collaborative to answer Creighton University students’ questions about end-of-life care, death doulas, and grief. Herchenbach explains how to plan for a personally meaningful death, support families without taking over, and make room for grief and human connection in healthcare and workplaces.
Keywords
death doula, end-of-life planning, grief support, hospice, palliative care, caregiving, death care, healthcare professionals
Key Topics
Jenni describes Flourish Collaborative’s work: end-of-life planning, support for dying people and families, grief tending, and mentoring future death workers.
She explains why a “good death” is personal and why end-of-life conversations are easier before a diagnosis or crisis.
A death doula is a non-medical death-care professional, but the field is unlicensed and unregulated; training and roles vary widely.
Planning only helps when wishes are communicated to someone willing and able to advocate for them.
Families may have more choices in caring for a loved one after death than they assume; custom and legal requirements are not the same thing.
In hospitals and trauma settings, doulas can support dignity and advocate for a person’s wishes while respecting clinicians’ work and protocols.
Her Kleenex-box story illustrates how an offer of comfort can unintentionally communicate that someone should stop expressing emotion.
The class flower-and-leaf mandala exercise gave students a shared, temporary way to acknowledge and hold grief.
Herchenbach recommends allowing emotion to move while distinguishing others’ grief from what is hers to carry.
Chapters
00:00 Why Jenni returned to speak with future caregivers
05:03 Flourish Collaborative: planning, death care, and grief tending
12:13 Family involvement and misconceptions about caring for the dead
15:04 What a death doula does - and what certification means
20:48 Why end-of-life conversations should start early
24:00 Make a plan, name an advocate, and share your wishes
28:24 Supporting patients and families in clinical settings
32:12 How presence, humor, and dignity shape the experience
36:24 What healthcare professionals can do differently
40:16 Talking about death across generations
42:08 The Kleenex box and how to show up for grief
47:22 A flower mandala for making space for grief
53:54 Emotional release and boundaries in death work
Takeaways
“flourish to me means doing more than just existing.”
“I am not the expert in their life. They are the experts in their life.”
“You deserve the right to pursue your unique good death.”
“I want to know who you're going to communicate this to so that they can carry this for you when you can't carry it.”
“Being seen, loved, and supported acts as a mute to the noise and a filter for the light.”
“Treat every grief as the individual beautiful being it is.”
Action Items
- Start end-of-life conversations before illness or crisis makes decision-making harder.
- Write down your wishes and identify someone willing to communicate and advocate for them.
- Ask the person you want to carry out your wishes rather than assuming they accept the responsibility.
- When offering tissues or comfort, make clear that the person does not need to stop crying; ask what else would help.
- At work, ask a grieving colleague what support they want instead of assuming they need less work or more distraction.
Connect with Jenni Herchenback at Flourish Collaborative or by email; jenni@flourishcollab.com.
Inspired Caring is THE family support & education program that helps families feel calm and confident to make better decisions faster.
Inspired Caring is also offered as an annual membership tobusinesses to provide for the families they work with.
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