A listener wrote in mortified: "I do stuff in fights with my boyfriend that I would be so embarrassed for my friends to find out about. Very petty shit. Bringing up things from years ago, silent treatment, crying to get my way. Am I just an immature bitch?" We dive in head first with our own worst fighting confessions, from slamming doors to walking away for attention. Spoiler: we've done all of it. Then we get into why we do this shit in the first place and what actually helped us move from "immature bitches" to "slightly more mature bitches."

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A listener wrote in, and she's pissed. She's been dropping spicy hints like nobody's business (wearing what he likes, flirty comments, changing with the door open), and her partner isn't picking up on any of them. She wants him to initiate. She wants to feel pursued. And yes, she knows she could just ask. Em and Cass get into how we all still want a mind-reader, the community polls (62% of you drop hints instead of asking for sex, 85% want your partner to initiate more), and how to actually build a communication style that doesn't require your partner to be Edward fucking Cullen.

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Alyssa Ljub is an intimacy and relationship expert who coaches dozens of couples a day in her role as a concierge at Arya. She joins Em and Cass to unpack the biggest hurdles couples hit when it comes to sex, why scheduling sex is FAR from unsexy, the difference between responsive and spontaneous desire, and the most common ways rejection shows up in long-term relationships. Find Alyssa at @alyssaljub on Instagram and TikTok and Arya at arya.fyi.

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Dr. Justin Garcia is the Executive Director of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University, chief scientific advisor to Match, and the author of the new book The Intimate Animal. He joins Em and Cass for a wide-ranging conversation on why modern intimacy feels so hard, and why he's optimistic about it anyway.

They get into the intimacy crisis (why we can be surrounded by people and still feel lonely), the "all-or-nothing" marriage model that's crushing modern relationships, the real story behind the sex recession and why declining frequency might not be a bad thing, the biology of monogamy versus sexual novelty (and the three ways couples navigate that tension), why 80% of marriages actually got stronger during the pandemic, and how dating apps are breaking our brains by tricking us into thinking every person is disposable. Plus the stat that 70% of people become deeply attracted to someone they didn't initially think they would, why the "work on yourself first" culture might be keeping you single, and the line Justin's built his relationship advice around: the grass is greener where you water it.

Find The Intimate Animal wherever you get your books, and Dr. Justin Garcia on Instagram at @drjustingarcia.

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A listener wrote in asking about a version of jealousy a lot of us are ashamed to admit: "I don't feel excited when good things happen to my friends anymore. Engagements, promotions, pregnancies, whatever. I fake it every time and feel like a monster." Em and Cass dive in head first with their own confessions, including the jealousy they've felt toward each other, which they've never actually shared until now.

They read the community polls (89% of you compare yourselves to your friends), read anonymous submissions on comparing looks, cars, and friend groups, and lasty run a rapid-fire agree/disagree round on when jealousy crosses the line.

Come to "Bouquets & Besties" on Sunday, August 9th in Portland, Oregon! Get your tickets HERE!

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Brooke Bralove has spent 22 years as a sex therapist helping women figure out what's actually going on when desire disappears. Her take: your desire isn't broken or gone, it's just stuck. She joins Em and Cass to talk about why the sex we had at the beginning of a relationship isn't coming back (and why we need to grieve that), why "just try to be in the mood" is terrible advice, and how a new kind of therapy called ART is helping women unstick everything from low libido to body image spirals in as little as one session.

Find Brooke at brookebralove.com and @brookebralovepsychotherapy on Instagram.

Want to hang out IRL?! Come to our event "Bouquets & Besties" on Aug. 9th 2026. Get your tickets HERE!

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We all want closer friendships, but too few of us are actually having the conversations that would get us there. This week Em and Cass answer a listener question about how to have hard conversations with friends, and get into the years they spent hiding things from each other: postpartum shame, a months-long sex-life crisis, feeling left out, feeling jealous, feeling like too much.

They read the community polls (68% of you have lied about how good your sex life is, 85% of you have hidden a relationship problem from your friends because you didn't want them to judge your partner) and answer five anonymous confessions, from the friend who's secretly not excited when her friends get pregnant, to the woman who hooked up with her friend's boyfriend before they started dating, to the one where you don't know how to tell your friend she isn't showing up.

For anyone who's been biting their tongue with their best friend because they were scared of what the honesty would cost, this epi is for you, babe.

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HOT RELATIONSHIP TIP: fighting isn’t a bad thing… but you do need to learn how to fight fair. Emmalee Bierly, LMFT and Jennifer Chaiken, LMFT of Shrink Chicks are back and this time they’re sharing their expert tips on how to fight. We cover: -Why fighting is actually a part of a healthy relationship -How to fight fair -How to regulate your emotions during a fight -Scripts for expressing your feelings and apologizing -What resentment can look like and how it manifests in our relationships -The grief that comes along with committing to a long term relationship

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