In this episode of Healing Doesn’t Have to Hurt, April and Andrea unpack thought distortions—those automatic, convincing thoughts we accept as absolute truth without ever questioning. From “I’ll never be good at this” to “They must be mad at me,” they explore how distorted thinking shapes our behavior, limits our lives, and keeps us stuck in survival mode.

Through relatable examples, humor, and honest self-reflection (including a memorable Rubik’s Cube story), they break down common distortions like all-or-nothing thinking, catastrophizing, mind reading, emotional reasoning, personalization, and “should” statements. They explain why these patterns form, how they’re passed down through families and culture, and how the brain uses them as a way to stay safe—not necessarily to help us grow.

The conversation also offers practical tools for recognizing when you’re in a distortion, including noticing extremes, negative self-talk, and body-based signals of shutdown. April and Andrea share gentle ways to interrupt distorted thinking through awareness, curiosity, grounding exercises, and choosing thoughts that feel kinder and more regulating—rather than harsher or punishing.

This episode is an invitation to loosen your grip on thoughts that feel true but may not be accurate, and to discover how much more possibility opens up when you stop believing everything you think.

Episode 15In this episode of Healing Doesn’t Have to Hurt, April and Andrea unpack the often-confused patterns of people pleasing and overgiving—how they’re similar, how they’re different, and why they both come from the same place: the need to feel safe.Through honest reflection and decades-long friendship, they explore how people pleasing focuses on keeping others happy to avoid conflict, while overgiving shows up as rescuing, fixing, and taking responsibility for other people’s emotions. Both patterns, while adaptive in childhood, can quietly lead to burnout, resentment, loss of self, and deeply unbalanced relationships in adulthood.This conversation dives into the nervous system roots of these behaviors, including the fawn response, and how self-denial becomes normalized over time. April and Andrea share real-life examples—from being “the easy one” to ignoring basic needs like hunger or rest—and explain how these habits disconnect us from our own wants, boundaries, and identity.Listeners are guided toward awareness-based tools for change, including naming the pattern when it shows up, tuning into the body, and practicing regulation techniques that help bring us back into the present moment. This episode is an invitation to stop abandoning yourself for connection—and to begin building relationships rooted in authenticity, reciprocity, and self-trust.

In this episode of Healing Doesn’t Have to Hurt, April and Andrea take an honest, deeply human look at shame—what it is, where it comes from, and why it can feel so paralyzing and all-consuming. They explore how shame is not about what we do, but about who we believe we are, and how quickly it can collapse our sense of self.Drawing from personal experiences, clinical insight, and the foundational work of Brené Brown, they unpack the concept of the shame spiral (or “shame storm”)—those moments when embarrassment, fear, or feeling “in trouble” instantly pulls us into shutdown. They discuss how shame lives in the body, how it’s shaped by childhood, family, school, and society, and why it so often leads to masking, overcompensating, and isolation.This episode also offers practical, body-based tools for navigating shame when it shows up. April and Andrea share simple regulation techniques—like posture shifts, movement, naming the experience, humor, breathwork, and gentle self-soothing—to help bring the nervous system out of collapse and back into safety.Shame thrives in silence, but healing happens in awareness and connection. This conversation is an invitation to meet shame with curiosity instead of judgment—and to remember that you are not broken, defective, or alone.