In Part Two of this Grieve That Shit conversation, Sharon Brubaker and Dr. Elijah Frazier move past introductions and into the heart of what grievers struggle with most: choice, accountability, faith, emotions, and permission to heal.

This episode challenges one of the most damaging beliefs grievers carry—that grief is something they must endure forever. Sharon and Dr. Frazier speak directly to the idea that pain is inevitable after loss, but staying trapped in suffering is not the only option.

They talk honestly about how grief can steal joy, peace, and energy when we are not aware of the choices we are making. Dr. Frazier introduces a powerful metaphor: your joy is on the auction block every day, and too often, people unknowingly give it away to pain, guilt, fear, or other people's expectations.

The conversation also dives into faith, anger at God, and the pressure grievers feel to perform spirituality instead of telling the truth. Sharon and Dr. Frazier make it clear that real healing does not require pretending, suppressing emotions, or being "good" in your grief. It requires honesty, boundaries, and the willingness to do the work.

This episode speaks directly to the griever who feels stuck, judged, or afraid to move forward. It offers permission to feel fully, question deeply, and still choose healing.

1. Why grievers often believe they have no choices and how that belief keeps them stuck

2. The difference between pain and suffering in grief

3. How joy and peace are quietly given away without awareness

4. Why accountability is not punishment but empowerment

5. The role of faith as a bridge, not a crutch

6. Why being angry at God does not block healing

7. The difference between feelings and emotions and why both matter

8. Why natural emotions like anger, anxiety, sadness, and depression are not wrong

9. How spiritual platitudes can invalidate grief and cause harm

10. Why healing requires action, not waiting

11. The importance of boundaries when you are grieving

12. Why emotions need time and space to do their job

1. Where do I feel like grief has taken away my choices?

2. What pain am I experiencing, and where might I be adding suffering on top of it?

3. In what moments do I notice my joy being "sold off" to other people or situations?

4. What emotions am I afraid to feel fully?

5. How have faith, beliefs, or expectations shaped the way I grieve?

6. Where do I feel pressure to perform healing instead of living it honestly?

7. What would it look like to give my emotions permission to do their work?

Grief is not a script.
It is not a performance.
And it is not something you have to endure forever to prove your love.

You are allowed to feel anger.
You are allowed to question faith.
You are allowed to heal.

This episode reminds grievers that emotions are not the enemy. Suppressing them is. Healing does not come from pretending everything is okay. It comes from honesty, accountability, and choosing yourself again and again.

This is Grieve That Shit.
And this is where healing continues.

In this episode of Grieve That Shit, Sharon Brubaker introduces a defining moment for The Grief School and the podcast. For the first time, she welcomes Dr. Elijah Frazier and shares the news that The Grief School is now powered by The Frazier Group.

This is not an announcement episode filled with buzzwords or credentials. It's a conversation about people, pain, and what real care actually looks like when someone is at their breaking point.

Sharon and Dr. Frazier talk openly about why grief cannot be handled by systems, scripts, or one-size-fits-all solutions. They explore the difference between easy work and necessary work, and why healing requires intentional relationships, honesty, and empowerment rather than dependency.

Dr. Frazier shares his philosophy of care, his commitment to meeting people where they are, and why building a multidisciplinary team matters when someone's life has been shaken by loss. Together, they explain how grief, mental health, physical health, faith, and life circumstances are deeply connected and why separating them often leaves people stuck.

This episode sets the foundation for what's coming next. It introduces a partnership built on trust, integrity, and the belief that grief deserves to be held by people, not processed through a system.

This is part one of a two-part conversation. Part two goes deeper into grief, choice, and what it means to move forward without abandoning your pain.

1. Why The Grief School is now powered by The Frazier Group and what that truly means

2. The difference between easy conversations and necessary conversations in healing

3. Why grief cannot be treated with cookie-cutter scripts or checklists

4. The importance of honoring each person's story instead of forcing outcomes

5. Why empowerment matters more than dependency in long-term healing

6. How unresolved grief often overlaps with weight, health, relationships, and identity

7. Why a collaborative, multidisciplinary approach serves grievers better

8. The role of intentionality in healing and decision-making

9. What it means to do heart-centered work instead of system-centered care

1. Where have I felt rushed, minimized, or misunderstood in my grief?

2. What kind of support have I been needing but not receiving?

3. How does it feel to consider care that honors my full story, not just my symptoms?

4. Where in my life do I need empowerment instead of being rescued?

5. What would it mean to feel truly seen in my grief?

Grief does not need to be fixed.
It does not need to be rushed.
And it should never be handled by a system that forgets the human in front of it.

This episode marks the beginning of a deeper, more intentional way of supporting grievers. A way that honors pain, respects complexity, and believes healing happens through real connection.

Your story is not finished.
And you deserve care that treats it that way.

This is Grieve That Shit.
And this is where healing begins.

"Grief is not a mental illness. It's not weakness. It's not a checklist to finish or a line you're supposed to move through. It's love—with nowhere left to go."

In this episode of Grieve That Shit, Sharon Brubaker, Certified Grief Specialist and founder of The Grief School, gets brutally honest about everything grief isn't.

For too long, society has treated grief like a disorder to diagnose, a problem to medicate, or a series of stages to climb. But grief isn't logical, linear, or tidy—it's wild, unpredictable, and deeply human. Sharon unpacks why labeling grief as depression or PTSD misses the truth entirely, and how our culture's obsession with "fixing" pain keeps us from actually healing it.

You'll hear the truth about what happens when you zig and zag through your pain, why falling apart is part of the process, and why crying, rage, and exhaustion aren't weakness—they're proof that you loved deeply.

Because grief isn't something you escape. It's something you integrate. It's the story of love that still lives in you, even when the person you loved is gone.

• Why grief is not a mental illness—and what it actually is

• The truth about the "five stages" and why they never applied to grievers

• Why grief isn't linear, logical, or something to "get over"

• How emotional chaos (crying, anger, numbness) is a normal part of healing

• The many ways we try to numb grief—through work, food, alcohol, or pretending

• Why facing your grief head-on is the only way through

This week, write this sentence at the top of a page:
"Grief is not…"

Then finish it five times, in your own words.

"Grief is not something I can control."
"Grief is not weakness."
"Grief is not my enemy."

Keep writing until the truth feels real in your body. You're not broken—you're human.

🎥 Get the Video Series "This Is Grief" — A powerful companion to Sharon's book that walks you through every truth she teaches in this episode, with reflective journaling prompts after each lesson.

📘 Read the Book "This Is Grief" — The definition Sharon wished existed when her nephew Austin died.

🧠 Join Study Hall at The Grief School — Weekly live sessions where you can ask questions, share stories, and find tools for healing.

👉 Access everything at clickhereforhope.com

"When your person died, a part of you died too. Not your whole self—but the version of you that only existed in connection with them. That's the part grief takes. That's what forever changed really means."

In this episode of Grieve That Shit, Sharon Brubaker, Certified Grief Specialist and founder of The Grief School, opens her heart about what it truly means to be forever changed—but not broken.

After losing her nephew Austin and later her best friend Sharon, her life split into two: before and after. But in this episode, she invites you into the middle—the space between who you were and who you're becoming. It's the unseen, disorienting place where identity, routine, and meaning fall apart.

This is the part of grief no one talks about. The part where you're not who you were, but not yet who you'll be. Sharon calls it "the tween." And it's here, in the unknown, that real healing begins.

You'll hear what it means to let go of the pieces that no longer match your truth, how to live with the absence that screams louder than words, and why being "forever changed" is not the same as being broken.

Because the truth is—grief rewires your story. But you still get to decide how that story ends.

• The three phases of grief: before, between, and after

• Why your identity shifts after loss—and how to honor the version of you that's gone

• How to navigate the "tween," the unknown space between devastation and rebuilding

• The truth about being "forever changed, not broken"

• Why time doesn't fix grief—but processing the pain does

Find a quiet place this week and journal through these prompts:

1️⃣ What part of me died when they died?
2️⃣ What part of me is still here, waiting to be known again?
3️⃣ What truth am I ready to stop fighting?

You don't have to have perfect answers. You just have to begin writing them. Because healing starts the moment you stop trying to go back—and start facing the after.

🎥 Get the Forever Changed Video Series — A 3-part self-guided video course with slides, reflection prompts, and deep-dive lessons to help you process your pain.
📘 Download the eBook "This Is Grief" — Learn the foundations of grief and what it really means to be forever changed.
🧠 Join The Grief School Study Hall — Live weekly support sessions where you can bring your questions, your tears, and your truth.

👉 Access everything at clickhereforhope.com

Episode Summary:
This episode cracks open one of the most frightening and misunderstood parts of grief: when a memory hits your body like a shock. You're sitting still, lost in a moment with your person, and suddenly your stomach drops, your breath tightens, your heart races, and you remember all over again that they died. It feels like you're grieving in two places at once.

Sharon Brubaker takes you inside the neurobiology behind that jolt. She breaks down how the hippocampus pulls old memories like scenes from a movie, why the amygdala tags those memories as danger, and how your brain fires survival signals long before you can think. This isn't denial and it isn't weakness. It is your nervous system trying to protect you from emotional injury, and it moves faster than the rest of you can keep up.

Through real-life examples and clear teaching, Sharon explains why certain memories hit harder, why they cycle over and over, and why it feels like the loss is happening in real time even years later. Most importantly, she shows you what it takes to calm the system that's been stuck on high alert and how real healing begins when you learn to process the pain—rather than waiting for it to fade on its own.

Key Points Discussed:
• Why your brain drops you into old memories without warning
• How the hippocampus and amygdala replay emotional pain as if it's happening now
• Why the body reacts before the mind understands
• What reconciliation shock is and why it feels like losing your person twice
• How unresolved emotion keeps your nervous system stuck in survival mode
• Why memory jolts soften once grief pain is processed
• What Processing the Pain of Grief teaches your brain to finally settle

Journal Questions:
• What memory pulls your body into a sudden drop
• What part of that memory still feels emotionally unresolved
• How does your body respond before your mind catches up
• What does the second wave feel like when the truth hits
• What would change in your life if your brain learned to soften these jolts

Conclusion:
These memory shocks don't mean you're going backwards. They don't mean you're in denial. They are the biology of grief doing what it was never taught to do differently. When you learn how to process the pain, the brain finally stops hitting the danger button every time you touch the past. Your system settles. The memories soften. The grief stops feeling like an ambush.

This is the work. This is the shift. This is where healing begins.

Contact Us:

Ready to calm your grief brain and learn how to process the pain, not just survive it

Join Sharon Brubaker inside Processing the Pain of Grief, her live classroom where you learn what your brain is doing, how grief works in the body, and how to move the pain out instead of holding it in.

Learn more and get support inside The Grief School community.

Website: thegriefschool.com

Contact: info@thegriefschool.com

TikTok, YouTube, Instagram: @thegriefschool

Episode Summary:
In this episode of Grieve That Shit, Sharon Brubaker talks about something most grievers never see coming: why normal sounds suddenly feel like an attack. The kids laughing, the microwave door slamming, a choir starting at church, a car alarm in the parking lot. Things you used to handle just fine now hit your body like lightning.

Sharon walks you through what is really happening inside your grieving brain. She breaks down the amygdala, the nervous system, the HPA axis, and why grief flips all of them into survival mode. This is not you "being dramatic." This is biology. Your brain is trying to protect your broken heart and it does not know the difference between emotional danger and physical danger.

Through real stories from her clients, Sharon shows how jumpiness, noise sensitivity, snapping at people, and shutting down in crowds are not personality flaws. They are signs that your grief system is stuck on high alert and has not been taught how to turn off. Then she shows you the path out: learning how to calm your brain by processing the pain of grief instead of running from it.

Key Points Discussed:

1. Why everyday noise can feel like an attack when you are grieving

2. How the amygdala scans for emotional pain and treats it like danger

3. What happens to your thinking center when grief hits and why you feel numb

4. How the sympathetic nervous system keeps your body in survival mode

5. Why your senses feel sharper, your reactions bigger, and your patience thinner

6. The four grief responses Sharon sees most often: resisting, reacting, avoiding, and pretending

7. How stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline keep your system on high alert

8. Why this noise sensitivity is not permanent when you learn to process the pain

9. How Processing the Pain of Grief helps calm your brain and soften your grief

Journal Questions for Reflection:

1. What sounds or situations make your body jump or tense up now that you are grieving

2. Where do you notice your thinking has slowed down or feels foggy

3. When was the last time you snapped or shut down and later realized you were not really mad at that person or thing

4. What background noise or repeated behavior from others feels harder to tolerate since your loss

5. What would it look like to give your brain and body a place to calm down instead of just pushing through

Conclusion:
Noise sensitivity in grief is not you "losing it." It is your grief biology doing its best to protect you with the only tools it knows. Your brain is on high alert. Your body is tired. Your system is trying to outrun the pain. But this does not have to be your forever.

When you learn how to process the pain of grief, your nervous system can settle. Your thoughts get clearer. Your reactions soften. The world gets a little quieter again. You will still miss your person, but the grief does not have to feel like an attack every time a memory or a sound shows up.

Contact Us:
Ready to calm your grief brain and learn how to process the pain, not just survive it
Join Sharon Brubaker inside Processing the Pain of Grief, her live classroom where you learn what your brain is doing, how grief works in the body, and how to move the pain out instead of holding it in.

Learn more and get support inside The Grief School community.
Website: thegriefschool.com
Contact: info@thegriefschool.com
TikTok, YouTube, Instagram: @thegriefschool

🎙️ Episode Summary:
In this powerful episode of Grieve That Sh!t, Sharon Brubaker opens the door on one of the most misunderstood experiences in grief: the silent battle happening inside your body. After the loss of her nephew Austin, Sharon discovered that grief isn't just sadness. It's a full body takeover. It's your mind racing, your stomach twisting, your heart pounding, and your nervous system trying to protect you in ways that end up keeping you stuck.

Through honest storytelling and deep reflection, Sharon explains why so many grievers stay busy, stay strong, and stay silent while their bodies carry the weight of what their hearts are terrified to feel. She shares the truth about resisting pain, pretending to be okay, and the invisible cost of swallowing your emotions day after day.

If you've ever felt like your body reacts before your mind can catch up, or if you've wondered why your grief hits you out of nowhere, this episode will help you finally understand what's happening inside you.

🧠 Key Points Discussed:
1) Why resistance in grief feels safer but creates emotional paralysis
2) How the nervous system goes on high alert after loss and why that leads to exhaustion
3) What happens to your body when you stay busy instead of feeling your pain
4) Why pretending to be strong teaches everyone around you to avoid the truth
5) How swallowed emotions return louder, heavier, and more confusing
6) What it means when old memories surface years after the loss
7) How hiding your grief disconnects you from the people you love
8) Why you can't heal what you refuse to feel
9) How to begin turning toward your grief instead of away from it

📓 Journal Questions for Reflection:
1) Where am I resisting my pain instead of feeling it
2) What emotions have I been swallowing
3) Where have I been pretending to be okay
4) What memories or moments keep resurfacing and what might they be asking me to notice
5) What support would help me feel safe enough to stop being strong and start being honest

🩶 Conclusion:
Your silence doesn't heal you. Your resistance doesn't protect you. Your pretending doesn't bring peace. Grief lives in your body until you turn toward it with honesty. Healing begins the moment you stop swallowing your truth and start letting yourself feel what's real.

When you soften, even a little, your grief begins to move. When you let yourself name the pain, it finally has somewhere to go. You deserve relief. You deserve support. You deserve to let your body exhale.

📬 Contact Us:
Ready to go deeper and get the support you've been needing
Join Sharon Brubaker inside The Grief School community

📝 The Courage Club every Thursday at 10 AM CST
Live inside The Grief School Facebook Group

🎤 Surviving the Holidays Masterclass now open
thegriefschool.life/holidays2025

📧 Contact: info@thegriefschool.com
📲 TikTok, YouTube, Instagram: @thegriefschool

🎙️ Episode Summary:
In this deeply personal episode of Grieve That Sh!t, grief specialist Sharon Brubaker opens her heart about the painful truths she learned after the death of her son, Austin.

She shares the moments she wishes she had faced differently—the pretending, the resisting, and the avoiding—and how each of those choices kept her trapped in silence. Through raw honesty and reflection, Sharon reveals what she's learned about strength, vulnerability, and what real healing actually requires.

If you've ever felt like you had to be strong for everyone else… or that your tears made you weak… this episode will meet you right where you are.

You'll hear the truth about why hiding your pain doesn't protect you—it just delays the healing.

🧠 Key Points Discussed:

• What "being strong" really cost Sharon after her son's death

• The difference between surviving grief and processing it

• How pretending you're okay teaches everyone around you to do the same

• The danger of waiting for time to heal what needs to be faced

• What happens when grief becomes silence inside a family

• How to begin sharing your pain safely—with honesty, not performance

• Why feeling your grief doesn't make you weak, it makes you real

📓 Journal Questions for Reflection:

• Where in my life am I pretending to be strong?

• What would it look like to show up honestly in my grief?

• Who might be learning from the way I'm handling my pain?

• What's one thing I wish I had said—or still want to say—to my person?

• What kind of support would feel safe for me right now?

🩶 Conclusion:
Grief doesn't need you to be strong.
It needs you to be honest.

You don't have to hide your pain, smile through it, or wait for time to fix it.
Healing begins the moment you stop resisting what hurts and start letting yourself feel it.

Because pretending keeps you stuck—
but honesty opens the door to peace.

📬 Contact Us:
Want to go deeper or get live support as you heal? Join Sharon Brubaker inside The Grief School community:

📝 Grief Study Hall – every Wednesday @ 7PM CST
📍 Live in The Grief School Facebook Group (link in comments)

🎤 Surviving the Holidays Masterclass – Now Open for Registration
Learn how to move through this season with care, peace, and a plan for your heart.
👉 thegriefschool.life/holidays2025

📧 Contact: info@thegriefschool.com
📲 TikTok, YouTube, and Instagram: @thegriefschool