UC Santa Barbara head swim coach Jax Rosen joins Jill for the latest episode of What She Taught Me, our series of honest conversations about how our mothers shaped us.

Jax grew up in San Francisco as a synchronized swimmer. She walked onto her college swim team, got six months to prove herself, earned a scholarship, and fell in love with a sport where "the time is yours." That love took her from coaching high school to Division I programs across the country, and now into her sixth year leading the UCSB men's and women's teams.

Jax talks about: a mom who never stayed in bed, and what that taught her about showing up; learning to do her own laundry, and how independence was her mom's way of asking for help; growing up surrounded by family friends who became aunts, uncles and cousins; why talking to strangers became her edge as a recruiter; what her mom carried quietly to keep the family feeling safe; choosing a partner who understands her feelings instead of dismissing them; and what she unlearned: saying out loud what she wants and needs.

If your mother was your champion, your challenger, or somewhere in between, this one will stay with you.

More about Jax:

• Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/swimfish415

More about Jill & Go Long:

• Sign-up for Go Long's newsletter — https://golong.substack.com/subscribe

• Learn more about Go Long — https://www.golong.me/how-it-works

• Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/justgolong/

• Facebook — https://www.facebook.com/justgolong

• LinkedIn — https://www.linkedin.com/company/go-long/

Jump to:

00:00 Welcome to What She Taught Me

01:09 From synchro to swimming: how Jax built her coaching career

02:38 "You got to go": a mom who always showed up

04:00 Kindness to strangers and an early sense of perspective

05:09 Pink laundry and learning independence

06:44 The village: family friends who became family

07:07 Where Jax sees her mom in herself (yes, including retelling stories)

08:25 What her mom carried that no one acknowledged

10:15 Siblings, inside jokes and "whatever the swimmer wants"

11:43 What Jax chose to do differently in love and marriage

14:55 What she unlearned: saying what you want

15:57 Closing

Suzanne Scheer is back on Go Long, this time to talk about her mom.

Suzanne was an only child who became a caregiver at 33. Her parents passed five weeks apart. Through all of it, she leaned on the one lesson her mother made a priority: you can cope with anything. You don't have a choice. You keep going.

We talk about the mother who never learned to drive and filled her days with needlepoint, sewing, and cooking. The woman who lost her own mother young, stepped in to raise her siblings, and kept her mother's recipes alive so well that her brothers and sisters would tear up at the smell. And the mom who always paid the bills, which shaped Suzanne's belief that no woman should be in the dark about her own finances.

In this episode: why coping skills may be the most important thing we pass on to our kids; the patience Suzanne learned from a mom who couldn't just hop in the car; what her mother carried that nobody acknowledged; why scent hits so hard (and an unexpected Tampa airport flashback); how caregiving support has changed — geriatric care managers, daily money managers, dementia coaches, and friends who check in; the 63 million unpaid caregivers who report feeling alone; why showing up for someone in a hard moment matters more than you think; what Suzanne is unlearning: putting everyone else first; and how seeing women blindsided by finances in family law drove her career pivot to long-term care planning.

Favorite moment: Suzanne's mom's needlepoint sign. "For sale. One husband. Cheap." Dollar sign included.

More about Suzanne:

• LinkedIn — https://www.linkedin.com/in/suzannescheer/

• Website — https://www.sgsinsurance.net/

• Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/suzannescheer_jd_cltc/

• Facebook — https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61550129835644

More about Jill & Go Long:

• Sign-up for Go Long's newsletter — https://golong.substack.com/subscribe

• Learn more about Go Long — https://www.golong.me/how-it-works

• Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/justgolong/

• Facebook — https://www.facebook.com/justgolong

• LinkedIn — https://www.linkedin.com/company/go-long/

Jump to:

00:05 Navigating Healthcare and Maternal Influence

02:38 The Impact of Caregiving on Career Choices

05:00 Lessons in Coping and Resilience

08:05 The Importance of Asking for Help

10:21 The Role of Community and Support

12:44 The Power of Small Acts of Kindness

15:05 Parenting and Passing Down Values

15:11 The Art of Needlepoint and Family Humor

17:29 Financial Independence and Empowerment

Jillian Bernstein lost her mom, Fern, 18 years ago, when Jillian was 27 and in her first HR job. How her employer treated her during that time — very little bereavement leave, pressure to come back fast — is part of why she later founded the Wellness Extension, an HR boutique consulting firm helping small businesses build connection, community, and well-being into how they treat their people.

In this episode of What She Taught Me, Jill and Jillian talk about the quiet generosity Fern practiced without anyone knowing, and the handwritten thank you notes the family found after she passed; the charity the family started in her name to support kids in local schools; why Fern's early morning workouts and "little pink weights" taught Jillian to prioritize her own health, physical and mental; the invisible load Fern carried as the family's organizer and "CFO" (and why the shoebox filing system did not survive); unlearning the reflex to say "I'm sorry"; the trade-offs Jillian chose differently: building her own business, blocking her calendar for her kids' games, and learning to delegate; why asking for help is an act of vulnerability, not weakness; and the family credo: Don't sweat the small stuff... and it's all small stuff.

More about Jillian:

• LinkedIn — https://www.linkedin.com/in/jillianbernstein/

• Website — https://www.wellness-extension.com/

• Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/wellness_extension/

More about Jill & Go Long:

• Sign-up for Go Long's newsletter — https://golong.substack.com/subscribe

• Learn more about Go Long — https://www.golong.me/how-it-works

• Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/justgolong/

• Facebook — https://www.facebook.com/justgolong

• LinkedIn — https://www.linkedin.com/company/go-long/

Jump to:

00:00 Navigating Grief and Influence

02:30 Quiet Generosity and Life Lessons

06:53 Balancing Self-Care and Family

10:39 Unlearning and Personal Growth

15:04 Asking for Help and Vulnerability

18:46 Living by Family Credos