Well folks, it's been 200 episodes of Gal Talk, and you know what that means. It's officially time to kill ourselves. I'd like to say that it's been a wild ride, full of success and good times, but if we're being honest the show is exactly what it's always been, which is two people talking for over an hour with very few people listening AND THAT'S WHAT WE LIKE. All these other shows pivoted to video like a bunch of pussies, and they hired sound engineers and clips guys and blew 20k on a studio with a bunch of bullshit that always looks like a cross between a radio station and a child's bedroom. You look like shit, Barstool, and it's always been embarrassing that Dave Portnoy is alive and well. Not us. We will remain true to reality and give you a rambling, themeless hour of poor sound quality. I hope you continue to like it, I really do, but not for my sake. I'm just really worried about you.

I'm sure this is hard to believe, but the city we live in sucks my ass. But BUT wait, hold on, listen to me. Your city sucks too. We just so happen to live here and you just so happen to live there. You probably infested the city with your petty bullshit several years ago, and the once promised gentrification never happened to the neighborhoods you could afford, and the barista sex culture you thought was going to be your whole life is now looking sadder and more 30ish than ever before, and you're starting to realize this is it, I'm stuck with all these decisions I've made, all those horrible people I've fucked who I once called my friends and now have no idea who I can trust, because it turns out everyone the whole time was talking mad shit behind my back because no quirky hairstyle or fun outfit could change the underlying fact that I have no personality and never developed an honest interest in anything substantive, and the city I live in is pricing me out right around the time I'm realizing I have no interest in staying, but where to go? What suburb will take a man with a dogshit credit score and a degree from a fourth tier college in anthropology? What kind of family could I possible cobble together when I'm on a cocktail of pills to keep my hair, to keep my dick hard, to keep me from killing myself? God, are you there? Can anyone hear me? Send help

Don't even worry about it. There's like, it's like, dude. Seriously don't look up. There's nothing to see there. Ain't nobody ever had no problems as long as they keep they head down. So just continue on the beautiful journey that is your probably extremely uplifting life. What do you do? You got a job working in an office, maybe? Maybe a little work-from-home situation. Is there AI? I bet there's AI happening at your work right now. They're saying it's a permanent plug-in for your office suite? That's good. Don't look up. No, no, no, keep your head down and embrace everything that comes your way. It's kind of the opposite of manifesting, where instead of generating the world you desire through insertion of will, you simply allow everything bad that's happening continue to happen until one day you can't come back from it and it turns out you should've listened to everyone who told you something bad was going to happen. But not me. I would never tell you something bad was going to happen. I'm only here to say that you should close your eyes and breathe.