It's just a coincidence. Truly. Don't go thinking it's okay to throw around accusations that got nothing to do with anything, okay? We're playing as safely as possible with all things that are... things. Things that are unrelated to other Things. There's no use looking at the world around you and noticing Consistencies, or how potentially connected some people might be to some ideologies. No, no, no. This is all one Big sneezing Coincidence and I don't believe it's helpful to focus on Certain Details because even if they're true it's sometimes not good to point out things that are true if they harm the reputation of... I don't know, some rich guy who lives in a nice apartment? We should always make sure not to offend people who live in nice apartments with lots of disposable income. That would be a turning point we could never recover from as a country. Let's stick to picking on poor people who were born close to the equator, like our forefathers did.

Because of the word complex, you see… it’s sort of pun to highlight the stupidity of the military, while also having some fun with words along the way. What’s going on here, if you examine closely, is that we’re locked outside the mechanisms of true power, the omega source for all death and destruction occurring on the planet due to the global empire constructed by our bloodsucking billionaires and their puppet politicians, and instead we have small levers to pull every few years where we make haphazard decisions based almost entirely on personality, which means our only means of being political, or enacting our right to democratically make choices, is through personal opinion. Kamala is brat, Trump is gay, etc etc. So when I call it the military industrial Dumbplex, you can see that really what I’m saying is that I have no mouth and I must scream. I’m lost in a torrent of emotion with no outlet or means by which I can change the material conditions haunting our planet. All I have is poopoo jokes that aren’t jokes so much as a lazy attempt to come up with an episode title. Hope that clears everything up and now you can have a good laugh about it all.

What if it's a parody of Philip Roth where instead of the character being horny for children or whatever those books are about, we have a guy who pays a phone sex operator to explain the various foods she's consumed throughout the day and we call it Sabbath's Eater? What about... what about that? We can keep Portnoy's Complaint but its about Dave Portnoy complaining there isn't enough young boy pussy to consume at his local pizzeria. The Breast could be turned into Chicken Breast... The Human Stain is just about a napkin after a big beautiful meal.... The Plate Against America...? I really hope there's some worthless listener who only reads Philip Roth, because otherwise this post doesn't work. Some might say it doesn't work even if you are a big fan of that horny Jew. Some might go so far as to say I should rewrite this whole thing because once again I've managed to talk about fat people and Jews in a way that isn't kind. Oh well.

Rest in piss Lindsey Graham, you were the highest epitome of American politics. Closeted, bloodthirsty, greedy, conniving, inconsistent, and somehow still the stupidest man to ever have that voice. Have you ever in your life heard that voice, from an actual closeted gay guy, and the words coming out are as reckless as the bullshit Israel-loving Lindsey Graham? It's a lot like Trump in that there really isn't much to make fun of because they embody such a cartoonish existence that all you can do is point out their actions and go "are you seeing this? is this real?" It feels like he was made in a Mossad operation where they worked tirelessly through MKUltra-style methods to turn a perpetually middle aged southern man into the most flamboyant hateful queer the world has ever seen. AND HIS NAME IS LINDSEY. I mean, come the fuck on. I hope our friends in Iran are celebrating. This is like, their ninth win in a row, and this time it was God's doing.

I forgot to bring my microphone. Does this ever happen to you? You guys seeing this, is this in the news? When you go to record a podcast at your buddy's house, and then forget the most vital piece of equipment for the task? It's embarrassing and I'm sorry. This is the one time, you get one a year, where you can say that I'm the big fat loser. Normally it's you. It's almost always you who is the big fat loser, but this week? Soak it in. It's me. I had to use a directional mic you'd expect to utilize for recording drums, or guitar, or... name another instrument. The rule of threes. So yes, it sounds a little off, but I did my best not to breathe directly into to the mic so you don't hear just how staggered and weak my airflow actually is. I'm barely alive, actually. 90% of my excellations are vape smoke and burps from all the PUSSY I ATE. Psyche. That's right, I'm back to being a winner. You're the loser again, fuck you, you no pussy getting freaks.

It's time to own up to the fact that we whites are a problem. I know, I know, I don't want to be the one who has to finally bring the hammer down on us, but I'm looking around, I'm scanning Wikipedia, and based on everything I see I think it's time to admit we're the problem. And it's getting worse. We're fatter, stinkier, stupider, and we're aging like shit. Not to mention all that crazy racist stuff we've been up to for the last... thousand years? Is it safe to say that the whites have been out of control for at least a thousand years? It's time to reign it in! No more white pride, folks. You got nothing to be proud of. Go check yourself out in the mirror. Take your shirt off. Really look deep. Still feeling that white pride? You still think America should only have you? You still think Britain is better off with only these pale, flabby, bug eyed beer chuggers? Is that a good place? Imagine going to Europe and it's only those white people standing around. I'm getting shivers down my spine just thinking about it. Give me the Indians! Get me a store run by a man wearing a turban! Let me hear the sweet sounds of Muslim worship, or whatever they're chanting about in those mosques. We gotta spice things up or it's all over. If we keep letting the whites get away with their bullshit the whole world is going to be bland, fat, and dumb, with our particular brand of polite but world-ending violence. So say it with me: Fuck Whites!

We talk about it very briefly in the episode, but I didn't really process that they made a He-Man movie. I'm not going to look at the trailer and I'm not going to learn about the plot or when it comes to theaters, but I am going to tell you right now that that stinks. That really fucking stinks, man. You should be embarrassed. I'm looking at you, Alison Brie. That's really, really fucking goddamn Embarrassing. Truly one of the saddest decisions you can make as an actor is agreeing to be in one of these movies, because you're essentially telling the world that you don't matter anymore, and potentially never mattered, because in your soul you were empty. You took the money, you put on a big nasty costume, and you recited a dogshit script written by a sad adult man about a fuck-ing cart-oon. A cartoon, I'll remind everyone, that no one gives a shit about because everyone who watched it is currently dying from colon cancer. If you disagree with me, and you think there's enough of an audience there, and hidden within this hunk of cash is justifiable merit, true honest worth, then I would advise you to go to the doctor and get your asshole checked. It isn't okay to like these things. It's not okay to still like, collect, admire, or play with actions figures, cards, or toy sets. You're an adult person who should be building things and reading books. Learn how to fire a gun, for christ sakes, or go fishing. Be someone. Live. You're still here but there's not much time left.

They're doing some wicked things to our brains, aren't they? Mostly old people, it seems. Young people are already dead, so there's no point even concerning ourselves with that. There isn't going to be a world left when it's their turn to take over and run things, so I say just let their brains go smooth from Family Guy clips and doordash. We should be treating twenty year olds like they're sick dogs. Every teenager working at a grocery store should be pampered like a labrador with bone cancer. Let them suck on the candy vapes and wear enormous silver headphones they casually bump aside when you're talking to them and they go "huh?" and that's the most their capable of saying for another hour. Words are hard, and they're meant to convey ideas anyway so why bother teaching them how language works. Ideas are done. Old people though... some of them are going to live another twenty years or more and they're getting worse and worse. Facebook has turned them all into satan worshipping pedophile apologists who think cats can talk and hawks can steal babies from porches. They're falling headfirst into their own narcissism and producing AI slop that justifies their warped views on race and equality. We have to stop them because they can't, for the life of them, stop fucking voting.