I'm sure this is hard to believe, but the city we live in sucks my ass. But BUT wait, hold on, listen to me. Your city sucks too. We just so happen to live here and you just so happen to live there. You probably infested the city with your petty bullshit several years ago, and the once promised gentrification never happened to the neighborhoods you could afford, and the barista sex culture you thought was going to be your whole life is now looking sadder and more 30ish than ever before, and you're starting to realize this is it, I'm stuck with all these decisions I've made, all those horrible people I've fucked who I once called my friends and now have no idea who I can trust, because it turns out everyone the whole time was talking mad shit behind my back because no quirky hairstyle or fun outfit could change the underlying fact that I have no personality and never developed an honest interest in anything substantive, and the city I live in is pricing me out right around the time I'm realizing I have no interest in staying, but where to go? What suburb will take a man with a dogshit credit score and a degree from a fourth tier college in anthropology? What kind of family could I possible cobble together when I'm on a cocktail of pills to keep my hair, to keep my dick hard, to keep me from killing myself? God, are you there? Can anyone hear me? Send help