Have you ever found yourself talking shit about something that actually helped you become who you are today? Yeah, me too. And it's something I've been thinking about a lot lately.

Why do we dismiss the very tools, experiences, and people that helped us find our freedom?

I recently heard two different people in separate conversations basically trashing spirituality - calling it a distraction, misleading, confusing - while simultaneously admitting they used spiritual practices to get to where they are now. The irony hit me hard. It's like climbing a ladder and then kicking it down once you reach the top.

This got me reflecting on my own patterns. Where do I do this in my life? How do I talk about Christianity after leaving the church? What about past relationships, old projects, or tools I've outgrown?

The truth is, we all do this. We move through experiences, extract what we need, then turn around and demonize the very thing that brought us growth and awareness. But here's what I'm realizing - wouldn't it be better to leave things better than we found them?

In this episode, I'm exploring why we have this tendency to trash our past instead of being grateful for the journey. From spirituality to relationships to career pivots, I'm getting real about how this pattern shows up everywhere and what it costs us when we do it.

TIMESTAMPS:00:00 - People demonizing spirituality that helped them02:27 - My relationship with Christianity and church community
04:36 - The question: did church hurt me or help me?06:46 - Leave things better than you found them08:33 - The coloring book phase and what I learned11:12 - We do this with everything - food, cities, medicine14:05 - Why we cancel people so easily15:15 - Appreciating experiences while you're in them18:25 - Why demonizing might come back to bite you20:09 - You can't want wholeness and demonize what helped you find it

MEMORABLE QUOTES:

"And I wonder though, would you be where you are now if you hadn't used that tool though? Like did it not bring you to this realization?"

"Wouldn't it be best for me to make it better for someone going through spirituality or religion or, you know, whatever"

"Why are we demonizing these people instead of thinking that demonizing these systems instead of being grateful that we experience them to give us new perspective?"

"We move through something and then demonize it instead of extract the gold, the wisdom, the being grateful for having the experience and all the things that were in it"

"We all fuck up. We have all fucked up. We have all been a dick to someone, an asshole to someone"

"Every single choice, every single not choice is creating an experience. We cannot avoid experience"

"You can't want wholeness or want to acknowledge our wholeness and demonize or make wrong what has helped us remember what wholeness even is"

"We're all in this shit together. Nothing, absolutely nothing can be done solely just on our own"

What tools or experiences have you outgrown but still feel grateful for? Let me know in the comments - I'd love to hear your perspective on this.

In this episode, I discuss how we can move into a more decolonized world where people are consciously facing the programming they've been subjected to since childhood. We often don't realize we're acting certain ways because these patterns were planted so early that we couldn't question them, or when we did question things, we were punished or manipulated back into conformity.I explore how our parents wanted what was best for us, which usually meant following the rules, living comfortably, and avoiding struggle. The focus has been on getting wealthy and not looking poor, which has shaped so much of how we interact with each other.As we shift away from capitalism and external motivations, I sometimes catch myself asking logical questions about how this will all unfold, and I wonder if that's still coming from a colonized mindset where everything needs to be predictable and planned out. But there's also value in imagining the magical possibilities and going to places we've never seen except maybe in books or movies.I get into how most conversations are really about extraction. When people ask "what do you do," they're not genuinely asking about your life. They're asking about your work life, your money life, your status. There's so much embedded in that question beyond just curiosity.I talk about how dangerous our approach to hiring and networking has become, where we ask seemingly innocent questions but we're really digging for information we can use. Everything becomes about money, status, and what you can extract from someone. Even questions like "where are you from" or "who inspires you" are ways of gathering intel about someone's background, motivations, and how you might be able to exploit their talents or connections.The whole system is built on manipulation and emulation rather than being your authentic self. I call out how ironic it is when people complain about AI being trained on existing models when literally everything we do and say is based on models of other people's lives, things we've seen before, read before, experienced before. We're all just regurgitating things in our own way, and most people aren't even doing it creatively.I share how books like "How to Win Friends and Influence People" and "The Art of War" have been bestsellers because they teach manipulation rather than authentic connection. These books are about turning yourself into something else to get what you want rather than just showing up as you are.But what would conversations look like if we weren't trying to extract things from people? What if we asked questions that elicit storytelling instead of resume reciting? Questions like "how has life unfolded for you?" or "what three things have been most exciting about your life so far?" or "what are you most curious about these days?"I get excited talking about creativity and originality. When someone creates something from their own inspiration, whether it's art, music, clothes, whatever, it literally wakes up my soul. If it's original, it's automatically dope to me.I end by wondering what other questions we could ask that would make conversations genuinely worth having. If you're only going to have one conversation with someone, why not make it meaningful? What are these new ways to communicate when we're not operating from that extractive, colonized mindset?Timestamps:00:00 Moving into a decolonized world06:33 How conversations are really about extraction11:20 Books that teach manipulation vs authenticity17:00 Why people mold themselves after others22:00 The predictability of the current system26:00 Questions that elicit genuine storytelling29:00 What creativity and originality mean to me31:00 Making conversations worth having__________________________________Stay in Connected the FrequencyNewsletter + How to Contributehttps://beacons.ai/frequencyoffree

A deeply personal exploration of what it means to live authentically in a world that wants to define you.

In this raw and honest episode, I dive into my journey as a queer person learning to accept not just myself, but the entirety of my existence beyond religious conditioning and societal expectations. This isn't just about sexuality or identity - it's about the fundamental human experience of trying to live authentically in your own skin.

I share why I've never resonated with labels and the invisible "contracts" that come with them, how growing up in Christianity created a long healing journey, and most importantly, the profound realization that you are literally made from the same creative energy as everything else in existence.

We explore the concept that everything is inherently spiritual, why only humans create categories of right and wrong, and how to recognize that you are not your thoughts but the awareness observing them. This episode offers a different perspective on perfection, change, karma, and the power you have to choose your own beliefs rather than living by what others have decided for you.

Whether you're LGBTQ+, dealing with religious trauma, questioning your spirituality, or simply trying to live more authentically, this conversation offers a fresh perspective on self-acceptance and spiritual freedom.

Key topics: spiritual awakening, queer spirituality, consciousness, authenticity, self-acceptance, religious trauma healing, personal growth, mindfulness, awareness, inner work, non-duality

This episode is part of ongoing conversations about consciousness, authenticity, and what it means to live freely in your own truth.

Subscribe to Frequency of Free for more unfiltered discussions about the human experience, consciousness, and finding your authentic path.

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Stay in the Frequencyhttps://beacons.ai/frequencyoffree