What this episode moves through

• The subtle ways control still shows up even when you think you’ve “done the work” • Why the mundane parts of your day hold more power than the big healing moments • The nervous system patterns built in repetition, not intensity • What it actually feels like to stop filling every quiet space • The difference between thinking about change & living inside it • How presence becomes something your body knows, not something you try to do

There was a point where I stopped looking for the big moment to change everything.

Not because I found it… but because I couldn’t keep chasing it.

I remember thinking something must be missing. Another protocol. Another shift. Another layer I hadn’t uncovered yet. And yet nothing was actually changing in the way I thought it would. Not in the timeline I had quietly decided it should.

And what I didn’t see at the time was how much of my life I was moving through without ever really being in it.

This conversation starts to land there. Not in the dramatic parts of the journey. Not in the big decisions or the big healing moments. But in the places that feel almost too ordinary to matter.

The parts of your day you usually rush through or fill up or try to get past.

And how those exact moments are where something deeper either stays the same… or finally begins to shift.

Timestamps

01:05 The reality of staying in the work over time 02:01 Bringing awareness into the mundane 03:17 Why big healing moments are not where change sticks 04:18 Presence inside ordinary life 05:17 Noticing the absence of urgency 06:12 How patterns are built in small moments 07:11 Parenting, awareness & self-compassion 07:40 Rewiring happens faster than you think 08:09 Returning to yourself in simple ways 08:35 What begins to shift without external change

Full Transcript Over on the Blog: https://www.findingfertility.co/blog/The%20Hidden%20Pattern%20Keeping%20You%20Stuck%20in%20IVF%20&%20Fertility%20Burnout

Let's Do This Together 💚

Monica

Instagram: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityIG

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@findingfertility

TikTok: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityTikTok

🌺 Book Your Fertility Breakthrough Session Today here: https://calendly.com/findingfertility/discoveryconsultation?month=2022-10

🎙 Subscribe on your favourite podcast platform:⁣⁠⁣⁣⁣

Apple: http://bit.ly/FINDINGFERTILITYAPPLE⁣⁠⁣⁣⁣

Stitcher: http://bit.ly/FindingFertilitySTITCHER

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0BMtwCvdyR4aJyfSfcKh6i

🍍HELP SUPPORT THE SHOW🍍 You can shop for your favourite fertility support products over on: Seeking Health:https://bit.ly/FFSeekingHealth & Amazon:http://bit.ly/FindingFertilityAmazon

Anything written or said about health and diet are my opinions, that I have formed over the years, through trial and error, study, reading, listening and observing. What worked for me, may not work for you. I am not a doctor, nutritionist or dietician and all medical advice should be gotten from a qualified professional. Product recommendations are based on what I used during my infertility journey or wish I had.

“Awareness is not the same as self-monitoring.”

• How awareness quietly turns into pressure and self-monitoring

• The deeply ingrained pattern of being hypercritical with yourself

• Why many emotional patterns are learned, not who you actually are

• The difference between observing and trying to fix yourself

• The concept of “the observer observing the observer”

• How judgment, shame, and blame activate the nervous system

• Why clean awareness creates regulation and softness in the body

• Letting go of the need to improve every moment you notice

• The internal stories that keep you stuck in “this is just who I am”

• Moving into a more neutral, graceful relationship with yourself

Hello Beautiful, Monica here supporting you to become the conscious mama you were born to be…

And this week… we go a layer deeper.

Because a lot of you have done the work. You’ve slowed down. You’ve started noticing your patterns. You’re becoming aware. And instead of that bringing relief… it’s quietly turned into another thing you’re trying to get right.

Watching yourself. Correcting yourself. Wondering if you’re doing it “well enough.”

And I get it. I’ve lived that.

But this is where things can get a little sneaky. Because awareness can very quickly turn into self-monitoring. And self-monitoring almost always turns into judgment.

So instead of softening… your body tightens even more.

This episode is where we shift that.

Not by doing more. Not by fixing anything. But by learning how to observe yourself without adding another layer of pressure on top of everything you’re already carrying.

Because the truth is… you’re not stuck because you’re doing it wrong.

You’re stuck because you’re still judging yourself while you’re trying to change.

And once you see that… something opens.

“Judgment tightens the body. Awareness softens it.”

00:00 Welcome and grounding into your fertility journey

01:35 How awareness turns into self-monitoring and pressure

02:29 The root of self-judgment and learned patterns

03:18 The observer observing the observer explained

04:47 Why judgment tightens the body and awareness softens it

06:12 You are the only one judging yourself

Full Transcript Over on the Blog: https://www.findingfertility.co/blog/week-17%20Fertility%20Burnout%20&%20the%20Trap%20of%20Self-Monitoring%20Your%20Healing%20During%20IVF%20&%20Infertility

Let's Do This Together 💚

Monica

Instagram: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityIG

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@findingfertility

TikTok: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityTikTok

🌺 Book Your Fertility Breakthrough Session Today here: https://calendly.com/findingfertility/discoveryconsultation?month=2022-10

🎙 Subscribe on your favourite podcast platform:⁣⁠⁣⁣⁣

Apple: http://bit.ly/FINDINGFERTILITYAPPLE⁣⁠⁣⁣⁣

Stitcher: http://bit.ly/FindingFertilitySTITCHER

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0BMtwCvdyR4aJyfSfcKh6i

🍍HELP SUPPORT THE SHOW🍍 You can shop for your favourite fertility support products over on: Seeking Health:https://bit.ly/FFSeekingHealth & Amazon:http://bit.ly/FindingFertilityAmazon

Anything written or said about health and diet are my opinions, that I have formed over the years, through trial and error, study, reading, listening and observing. What worked for me, may not work for you. I am not a doctor, nutritionist or dietician and all medical advice should be gotten from a qualified professional. Product recommendations are based on what I used during my infertility journey or wish I had.

“You are not responsible for everything that happens… but you are responsible for how you meet it.”

• The quiet ways control hides inside being responsible, organized, and “on top of it”

• How overdoing becomes identity without you even realizing it

• The internal pressure of time and the feeling of constantly being behind

• The nervous system’s attachment to urgency and why slowing down feels unsafe

• The difference between reacting from default patterns and responding from awareness

• Why radical responsibility is not blame, shame, or self-judgment

• The moment you start noticing yourself in real time and everything shifts

• How small shifts in awareness begin to change your default frequency

• The gap between noticing your patterns and criticizing yourself for them

• Letting yourself be human while still choosing something different next time

“The hardest part of this journey is remembering to break the pattern.”

Hello Beautiful, Monica here supporting you to become the conscious mama you were born to be…

And this week… we go there.

Not the surface-level stuff. Not the “just stay positive” nonsense. We’re talking about the patterns that have been quietly running your life for years. The ones that look like responsibility. Like being on top of things. Like doing everything right.

But underneath… it’s control. It’s pressure. It’s that constant hum of feeling behind.

And I know this one can feel a bit confronting. Because when we start talking about radical responsibility, it can tip straight into blame if you’re not careful. That old energy of “this must be my fault.”

It’s not that.

It’s the moment you realize… you might not control what’s happening, but you are shaping how you meet it. And that changes everything.

Because this isn’t about doing your fertility journey better. It’s about getting honest with how you’re showing up inside of it.

And once you see it… you can’t unsee it.

00:00 Welcome and grounding into the deeper fertility journey

02:06 The hidden layers of control most women don’t see

03:34 How time pressure creates urgency and tightness in the body

04:30 What radical responsibility actually means

05:55 Forgetting, looping patterns, and removing self-judgment

06:51 Why shifting patterns feels unsafe in your body

Full Transcript Over on the Blog: https://www.findingfertility.co/blog/week-16%20IVF,%20Control%20&%20Time%20Pressure:%20Why%20You%20Still%20Feel%20Behind%20During%20Infertility

Let's Do This Together 💚

Monica

Instagram: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityIG

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@findingfertility

TikTok: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityTikTok

🌺 Book Your Fertility Breakthrough Session Today here: https://calendly.com/findingfertility/discoveryconsultation?month=2022-10

🎙 Subscribe on your favourite podcast platform:⁣⁠⁣⁣⁣

Apple: http://bit.ly/FINDINGFERTILITYAPPLE⁣⁠⁣⁣⁣

Stitcher: http://bit.ly/FindingFertilitySTITCHER

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0BMtwCvdyR4aJyfSfcKh6i

🍍HELP SUPPORT THE SHOW🍍 You can shop for your favourite fertility support products over on: Seeking Health:https://bit.ly/FFSeekingHealth & Amazon:http://bit.ly/FindingFertilityAmazon

Anything written or said about health and diet are my opinions, that I have formed over the years, through trial and error, study, reading, listening and observing. What worked for me, may not work for you. I am not a doctor, nutritionist or dietician and all medical advice should be gotten from a qualified professional. Product recommendations are based on what I used during my infertility journey or wish I had.

Topics Discussed

• Fertility burnout as nervous system time pressure not failure

• IVF trauma and how urgency imprints in the body

• Subconscious blocks around waiting and safety

• Emotional healing through subtle rhythm shifts

• Frequency changes that happen without force

• Radical responsibility without self blame

• Creating new evidence through small regulated moments

Hello Beautiful, Monica here supporting you to become the conscious mama you were born to be…

This week we are not fixing your fertility. We are not solving your timeline. We are looking at the quiet panic underneath it all. The fertility burnout that feels like exhaustion is often just fear dressed up as productivity. The internal clock that feels biological is usually emotional. And when you slow down enough to notice that time pressure is a story your nervous system has memorized, something softens.

You are not behind. You are not late. You are not running out. What if the urgency you feel is not truth but conditioning? What if IVF trauma and subconscious blocks around time have trained your body to believe waiting is dangerous? That is the frequency we are unraveling. Not with force. Not with performance. Just awareness.

“If I told you that you would have your dream family by 2028 and it was a hard guarantee, you would finally relax.”

That is the gift you are practicing giving yourself. When the body no longer feels threatened by time, coherence begins. When you pause without fear, that is emotional healing in motion. And when you notice even one moment where you did not rush, that is subconscious healing happening in real time.

“Your body knows how to regulate pace when it is not driven by fear.”

This episode is about noticing those subtle shifts. The breath that deepens. The decision that waits. The moment you choose rest over reaction. Fertility burnout loses its grip when urgency is no longer your identity. And next week we close this chapter by asking one honest question. Has your relationship with time actually changed in your bones?

Timestamps

00:00 Opening and the deeper layer beneath fertility burnout 01:32 Awareness creating space around time pressure 02:56 The magic wish and what happens when urgency dissolves 03:55 Recognizing subtle nervous system regulation shifts 04:53 Celebrating moments where waiting no longer feels dangerous 05:19 Feeling the shift in your relationship with time

Full Transcript Over on the Blog: https://www.findingfertility.co/blog/week-14%20Fertility%20Burnout%20Time%20Pressure%20Healing%20Urgency%20at%20the%20Nervous%20System

Let's Do This Together 💚

Monica

Instagram: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityIG

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@findingfertility

TikTok: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityTikTok

🌺 Book Your Fertility Breakthrough Session Today here: https://calendly.com/findingfertility/discoveryconsultation?month=2022-10

🎙 Subscribe on your favourite podcast platform:⁣⁠⁣⁣⁣

Apple: http://bit.ly/FINDINGFERTILITYAPPLE⁣⁠⁣⁣⁣

Stitcher: http://bit.ly/FindingFertilitySTITCHER

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0BMtwCvdyR4aJyfSfcKh6i

🍍HELP SUPPORT THE SHOW🍍 You can shop for your favourite fertility support products over on: Seeking Health:https://bit.ly/FFSeekingHealth & Amazon:http://bit.ly/FindingFertilityAmazon

Anything written or said about health and diet are my opinions, that I have formed over the years, through trial and error, study, reading, listening and observing. What worked for me, may not work for you. I am not a doctor, nutritionist or dietician and all medical advice should be gotten from a qualified professional. Product recommendations are based on what I used during my infertility journey or wish I had.

Topics Discussed

• How time pressure reshapes fertility decision making

• The nervous system response behind urgency and fertility burnout

• IVF trauma and the fear of waiting too long

• Subconscious blocks around age timelines and regret

• The difference between relief based decisions and intuitive alignment

• How urgency contracts fascia nervous system and frequency

• Emotional healing through awareness rather than force

Hello Beautiful, Monica here supporting you to become the conscious mama you were born to be…

This week we are not fixing anything. We are noticing something. The quiet way time pressure starts deciding for you. Not loudly. Not dramatically. Just subtly enough that urgency begins to feel responsible and stillness starts to feel reckless.

You can feel it in the body. The contraction. The narrowing. The sense that if you do not choose now you will miss your only window. Fertility burnout often does not come from doing too little. It comes from doing too much too fast because waiting feels dangerous. And sometimes what looks like decisiveness is actually relief. Relief from uncertainty. Relief from the discomfort of not knowing.

“Time pressure does not just affect timing. It affects discernment.”

There is a difference between intuition and urgency. Between a grounded next step and a subconscious block that whispers you are running out of time. If you have ever rushed into IVF from fear or rushed away from it from panic you know this energy. The body knows the difference even when the mind pretends it does not.

“Decisions made under time pressure feel different in the body.”

This episode is not about judging your past choices. It is about seeing the pace. Seeing where presence was replaced by pressure. And asking yourself one honest question. What would have happened if I had allowed more space?

Next week we soften the pace. But first you get to see it.

Timestamps

00:00 Welcome and the shift into week 13 01:14 How time pressure begins narrowing your choices 02:14 Relief based decisions versus clarity 03:12 The fear of waiting and rushing into IVF 04:11 How urgency affects the body and discernment 05:10 Noticing without correcting and preparing to soften pace

Full Transcript Over on the Blog: https://www.findingfertility.co/blog/week-13When%20Time%20Pressure%20Hijacks%20Your%20Fertility%20Decisions%20During%20Infertility%20&%20IVF

Let's Do This Together 💚

Monica

Instagram: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityIG

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@findingfertility

TikTok: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityTikTok

🌺 Book Your Fertility Breakthrough Session Today here: https://calendly.com/findingfertility/discoveryconsultation?month=2022-10

🎙 Subscribe on your favourite podcast platform:⁣⁠⁣⁣⁣

Apple: http://bit.ly/FINDINGFERTILITYAPPLE⁣⁠⁣⁣⁣

Stitcher: http://bit.ly/FindingFertilitySTITCHER

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0BMtwCvdyR4aJyfSfcKh6i

🍍HELP SUPPORT THE SHOW🍍 You can shop for your favourite fertility support products over on: Seeking Health:https://bit.ly/FFSeekingHealth & Amazon:http://bit.ly/FindingFertilityAmazon

Anything written or said about health and diet are my opinions, that I have formed over the years, through trial and error, study, reading, listening and observing. What worked for me, may not work for you. I am not a doctor, nutritionist or dietician and all medical advice should be gotten from a qualified professional. Product recommendations are based on what I used during my infertility journey or wish I had.

“You are never doing something wrong. You are trying to stay safe inside uncertainty.”

• How fertility burnout subtly becomes identity • The nervous system response to time anxiety and perceived delay • IVF trauma and over identification with diagnosis • Self surveillance tracking and measuring progress • The disappearance of self compassion under pressure • Frequency shifts that begin with awareness not force • Subconscious healing through radical observation

“When time pressure feels personal it creates self surveillance.”

Hello Beautiful, Monica here supporting you to become the conscious mama you were born to be…

There is a moment on this journey where time pressure stops being about the calendar and starts being about you. Your age. Your diagnosis. Your past failed IVF. Your story. And suddenly fertility burnout is not just exhaustion. It feels like identity. You are no longer navigating a season. You are carrying a label.

This episode is about that shift. The quiet slide from circumstances into self surveillance. The tracking. The measuring. The way your breath shortens when you think you are behind. The way compassion disappears and the inner voice sharpens. This is not because you are broken. It is because you are trying to stay safe inside uncertainty. And that realization alone changes everything.

We talk about subconscious blocks that form when IVF trauma or years of negative tests become personal proof. We talk about frequency and how tension narrows your body without you realizing it. And we talk about noticing. Not fixing. Not performing healing. Just seeing the moment the pressure moves from external to internal. Next week we look at how these identity stories quietly start dictating your choices. And once you see that… you cannot unsee it.

00:00 Welcome and the invitation to radical responsibility

01:07 When time pressure stops being about time

02:03 Over identifying with infertility and past IVF

03:02 Self surveillance tracking and nervous system tension

04:30 Letting the body reveal where it is holding pressure

05:55 Consistency intuition and the quiet work of frequency shifts

Full Transcript Over on the Blog: https://www.findingfertility.co/blog/week-12Frequency%20Shifts%20for%20Women%20Tired%20of%20Carrying%20Infertility

Let's Do This Together 💚

Monica

Instagram: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityIG

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@findingfertility

TikTok: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityTikTok

🌺 Book Your Fertility Breakthrough Session Today here: https://calendly.com/findingfertility/discoveryconsultation?month=2022-10

🎙 Subscribe on your favourite podcast platform:⁣⁠⁣⁣⁣

Apple: http://bit.ly/FINDINGFERTILITYAPPLE⁣⁠⁣⁣⁣

Stitcher: http://bit.ly/FindingFertilitySTITCHER

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0BMtwCvdyR4aJyfSfcKh6i

🍍HELP SUPPORT THE SHOW🍍 You can shop for your favourite fertility support products over on: Seeking Health:https://bit.ly/FFSeekingHealth & Amazon:http://bit.ly/FindingFertilityAmazon

Anything written or said about health and diet are my opinions, that I have formed over the years, through trial and error, study, reading, listening and observing. What worked for me, may not work for you. I am not a doctor, nutritionist or dietician and all medical advice should be gotten from a qualified professional. Product recommendations are based on what I used during my infertility journey or wish I had.

Topics Discussed

• The subconscious block of feeling behind in motherhood and life • How fertility burnout is amplified by internal time pressure • IVF trauma and the nervous system pattern of urgency • The frequency of anxiety when you live in future stories • Control patterns inherited across generations of women • Emotional healing through observation rather than force • The difference between clock deadlines and internal urgency • Shifting mindset without performing positivity

Timestamps

00:00 Hello beautiful and welcome to the Finding Fertility podcast.

01:03 Ten weeks of awareness around control patterns and overdoing.

01:58 Releasing time pressure and why the real doing may be doing nothing.

03:24 The hidden story of being behind and how it shapes your frequency.

05:13 Noticing how your body responds when urgency shows up.

07:11 Living in the future creates anxiety living in the past creates fear and neither is presence.

Full Transcript Over on the Blog: https://www.findingfertility.co/blog/subconscious-blocks-the-frequency-of-i-m-running-out-of-time-during-infertility-week-11

Let's Do This Together 💚

Monica

Instagram: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityIG

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@findingfertility

TikTok: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityTikTok

🌺 Book Your Fertility Breakthrough Session Today here: https://calendly.com/findingfertility/discoveryconsultation?month=2022-10

🎙 Subscribe on your favourite podcast platform:⁣⁠⁣⁣⁣

Apple: http://bit.ly/FINDINGFERTILITYAPPLE⁣⁠⁣⁣⁣

Stitcher: http://bit.ly/FindingFertilitySTITCHER

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0BMtwCvdyR4aJyfSfcKh6i

🍍HELP SUPPORT THE SHOW🍍 You can shop for your favourite fertility support products over on: Seeking Health:https://bit.ly/FFSeekingHealth & Amazon:http://bit.ly/FindingFertilityAmazon

Anything written or said about health and diet are my opinions, that I have formed over the years, through trial and error, study, reading, listening and observing. What worked for me, may not work for you. I am not a doctor, nutritionist or dietician and all medical advice should be gotten from a qualified professional. Product recommendations are based on what I used during my infertility journey or wish I had.