エピソード

  • Building Safety When the System Fails (Part 2)
    2026/02/27
    If you suspect abuse, what do you do first, and how do you prove it?
    Part 2 shifts from systems analysis to step-by-step strategy. This is a must-listen for any family navigating OPWDD services, residential care, or crisis supports.Anil breaks down the practical actions parents can take immediately:
    • How to document concerns so they hold up legally
    • Why organization, timelines, and written notice matter
    • When to speak publicly and when to wait
    • How criminal cases and civil cases intersect
    • What “zealous advocacy” actually looks like in practiceWe discuss New York’s one-party consent law, evidence collection, and how to avoid unintentionally damaging your own case while trying to protect your child.We also explore:
    • The role of the IDDO Ombuds program and other state resources
    • How to support good DSPs while removing harmful ones
    • Burnout, staffing realities, and why calling is not enough without support
    • Parent-led housing models, economies of scale, and the funding inequities between self-direction and certified settings
    • The vision for Safe Care homes and a Foundation for Hope to close funding gaps for families without financial meansThis episode brings us back to the question every family carries:
    What happens to our children when we are no longer here?The answer isn’t waiting for the system to fix itself. It’s building structures, communities, and safeguards now.We close with a reminder that defines this entire series:
    No one is coming to save us. We are the cavalry.


    Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/finding-common-ground--6199849/support.

    Recorded at ROC Vox Recording & Production Studios in Rochester, NY. Learn more at rocvox.com.
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    19 分
  • Building Safety When the System Fails (Part 1)
    2026/02/27
    “If the system only works when parents are silent, it was never built to protect our kids.”
    What happens after the headlines fade, but the fear doesn’t?

    Anil Babbar returns to FCG and we move beyond the shock and into what families are actually forced to do to keep their children safe. This is not about outrage. It is about strategy. We talk about why parents end up thinking like investigators, how documentation becomes protection, and why the words you choose in an email can matter more than the emotions you feel in the moment. Anger might be justified, but evidence wins cases.

    This episode is a roadmap:
    • What to do when something feels off
    • How to document without escalating risk
    • How to protect your child and your case at the same time
    • When to put people on notice and how to do it effectively

    Then we zoom out to the bigger question. What would real safety look like if families helped design the system? We dig into parent-led housing, funding structures, and the economics that keep better models out of reach. Anil shares the vision behind SafeCare, a framework built on transparency, accountability, and partnership with caregivers and DSPs who want to do this work the right way. We also name the tension that often gets ignored. Good DSPs are working inside broken structures. Real reform has to protect them too, not just the people they support.

    “We are not just fighting for services. We are fighting for proof that our children are safe when we are not in the room.”

    This is a conversation about courage, but also about the long game. Building systems that will still be standing when families are no longer there to oversee them. “This isn’t advocacy for today. This is survival planning for the day we’re gone.”

    Connect with Anil: SafeCare: www.safecarecs.com

    Additional Media coverage:
    NY Times: https://www.nytimes.com/2026/01/21/nyregion/anderson-autism-center-suit.html
    FOX 5 investigation: https://www.fox5ny.com/news/autism-facility-faces-abuse-allegations-after-shocking-video-surfaces

    Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/finding-common-ground--6199849/support.

    Recorded at ROC Vox Recording & Production Studios in Rochester, NY. Learn more at rocvox.com.
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    31 分
  • Making It Right When Transition Feels Wrong
    2026/02/19
    If you have ever walked into a CSE meeting and thought, I don’t even know what to ask for, this episode is for you.

    Heather and Steve are joined by Sara DeFazio, a Transition Specialist with New York State’s Central Region Partnership Center, and she keeps it real.

    This is a fast, practical conversation about what happens when transition plans look fine on paper but miss the mark in real life. Sara names the patterns families recognize immediately. People get underestimated. Teams default to familiar vocational paths. Parents sense something is off, but are unsure how to stop the momentum.

    We break down what transition planning is actually supposed to do, why it starts at age 12, and how to use the process as a tool instead of letting it become paperwork. We also talk about why so-called unrealistic goals are often clues, not problems, and how asking better questions can open real paths forward.

    This episode also includes a real-world scenario families and districts may be grappling with: What happens when a nonspeaking student who has begun spelling wants to use transition time to practice typing, so she can communicate in real time? What happens when the goal is to build age‑level academic skills and reach for something bigger, like earning a GED?

    Our conversation digs into what happens when teams feel unsure how to support goals like these, worry about what is allowed, or default to safer, more familiar vocational options instead. Sara helps unpack how schools can honor ambitious goals without breaking rules, and why uncertainty should never automatically lead to underestimation.

    This episode will help you walk into your next meeting clearer, more confident, and better prepared to advocate.

    Find your New York State Partnership Center and resource map: https://map.osepartnership.org

    Learn more about NYS Regional Partnership Centers and Family and Community Engagement Centers: https://osepartnership.org/about

    Learn more about the Finding Common Ground (FCG) platform at https://www.fcgadvocacy.org.

    FCG is more than a podcast. We are changing the way advocacy is done by showing families, professionals, and policymakers how finding common ground is how we find what’s worth doing.

    Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/finding-common-ground--6199849/support.

    Recorded at ROC Vox Recording & Production Studios in Rochester, NY. Learn more at rocvox.com.
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    48 分
  • Teaching Independence Without Throwing Graduates Off "The Cliff"
    2026/02/12
    When school ends, the bus stops coming, and traditional transition options do not feel like the right fit, what comes next? In this episode of Finding Common Ground, Heather and Steve talk with Brad Herron-Valenzuela from First Place Phoenix about what it really takes to build independence without “sink or swim” thinking, and the importance of not underestimating people.

    Brad shares what has worked, what has changed, and why true independence is not an event but a process of teaching, practicing, and supporting growth over time. Marking the 10-year anniversary of the First Place Transition Academy program, he describes “how many firsts” their graduates experience, first paycheck, first time riding the bus or light rail, first time living away from home, even first time missing a stop or losing a backpack, and why those real-world mistakes are essential to learning.

    Brad also explains how a program that once required families to pay fully out of pocket began to shift when outcomes were measured and tracked over time. As data showed meaningful progress, including long-term gains in independence and quality of life, insurance coverage for clinical components became possible. It was not because of marketing, but because evidence changed the conversation.

    This episode is not about promoting a single program or suggesting there is one solution that fits every person. It is about noticing what works, understanding the underlying formula, and recognizing that some tools already exist. Learn4Independence®, a core component of the First Place Transition Academy, is a 32-course curriculum developed for adults with autism that focuses on independent living skills and career readiness. Unique curriculum elements accommodate various learning differences and incorporate universally designed instruction adaptable to community and cultural needs.

    We talk openly about the emotional weight families carry, the feeling of the clock ticking, and why simply placing someone in an apartment or program is not enough. Skills have to be taught, practiced, and reinforced in real life. Independence is not an event, it is a process.

    Learn4Independence is a certified, evidence-informed curriculum that states and school districts can explore, adapt, and implement. With that context, the episode asks a powerful question: Now that you know approaches like this exist, what might you advocate for in your own state, region, or community? Families should not have to invent the future from scratch. Sometimes the work is recognizing proven ideas, adapting them locally, and pushing systems to invest in what truly moves people forward.

    🔗 Links Referenced in This Episode

    First Place Transition Academy:
    https://firstplaceaz.org/transition-academy/

    Transition Academy Discover Day Guide:
    https://firstplaceaz.org/transition-academy/discover-day-guide/

    Learn4Independence Life Skills Curriculum:
    https://firstplaceglobal.org/employment/learn4independence/

    Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/finding-common-ground--6199849/support.

    Recorded at ROC Vox Recording & Production Studios in Rochester, NY. Learn more at rocvox.com.
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    43 分
  • When Your Parents Foster Nearly 200 Kids...
    2026/02/05
    This episode is the first one of our new FCG spin-off series called, The Mother Load and we started out with a bang! Heather sits with her co-host Steve’s daughter, Rachel, and digs into what it was really like growing up in a home where her parents fostered nearly 200 children. She speaks candidly about the chaos, the compassion, and the moments that tested everything, answering the question many people quietly wonder:

    How do parents open their home to nearly 200 children and still make sure their own kids feel seen, secure, and deeply loved?

    Rachel grew up sharing her parents, her space, and her childhood with hundreds of children who arrived carrying trauma, fear, and hope. Some stayed briefly. Others became family forever.

    In this conversation, Rachel reflects on what it meant to move from “the baby” to “the big sister,” the times generosity stretched a household thin, and how understanding trauma reshaped the way she saw anger, fairness, and belonging.

    This episode isn’t about foster care from the system’s point of view. It’s about life inside the home, and how intentional parenting, communication, and love make it possible to expand care without losing connection.

    The Mother Load is a Finding Common Ground spin-off for caregivers, daughters, and the people carrying the unseen emotional load.

    This is where those stories finally get airtime. Come Tired. Leave Empowered.

    Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/finding-common-ground--6199849/support.

    Recorded at ROC Vox Recording & Production Studios in Rochester, NY. Learn more at rocvox.com.
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    38 分
  • Was Heather Always This Strong? The Backstory of an Unlikely Advocate
    2026/01/29
    TAKEOVER EPISODE with Guest Host Jackie Bartell.

    Have you ever looked at someone and assumed they were just born strong, that they have “always done the hard thing,” and were simply made for advocacy?

    In this special takeover episode, retired special education teacher and longtime friend Jackie Bartell slides into the guest host chair and turns the mic on Heather, asking the questions most people never hear. Heather goes back to the years when she was painfully shy, stuck in “fix it” mode, and living in a home where hostility was breaking more than the furniture.

    You will hear the moment embarrassment became fuel, the night she changed the locks and chose her daughters over the life she thought she was supposed to fix, and how saying yes to help, and fundraising for Devyn’s 120-pound service dog Hannah, became the turning point. Along the way, Jackie and Heather revisit the little girl with the big dog, the preschool classroom where Devyn and Hannah became rock stars, and the shift from trying to “fix” problems to building relationships and changing systems.

    This episode also offers an early peek into the advocacy framework Heather and Steve are shaping in an upcoming book, the mindset shift that moves people from feeling frozen and inadequate to finding their voice, building unlikely coalitions, and holding systems accountable without losing their humanity.

    If you have ever wondered whether you “have what it takes” to speak up, let this conversation be your reminder. Strength is built, not assigned, and sometimes you become an advocate the day you decide you just cannot stay quiet anymore.

    Learn more and join the movement at www.FCGadvocacy.org

    Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/finding-common-ground--6199849/support.

    Recorded at ROC Vox Recording & Production Studios in Rochester, NY. Learn more at rocvox.com.
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    45 分
  • When Parents Stop Asking for Permission & Start Leading
    2026/01/22
    What if the hardest part of advocating for your child isn’t the system, but unlearning the way you’ve been taught to think about it?

    What if you keep doing the same things because they feel safe, even when they stopped working a long time ago?

    What if the mindset that got you through the early years is now the very thing holding you back?

    In this episode of Finding Common Ground, Heather and Steve sit down with Lynda Allen, career educator, advocate, and TEDx speaker, for a conversation that rewrites what most of us were taught about special education, labels, and empowerment. Lynda honors how exhausting and heartbreaking the day to day can be, while insisting on this truth, there is nothing broken about your child, and nothing defective about you as a parent.

    From that starting point, she invites parents to stop waiting for the system to get fixed and start seeing themselves as decision making partners in every service, support, and opportunity their child receives.

    “Being empowered means becoming a decision making partner in your child’s education and life, not doing it alone, and not giving your power away.” — Lynda Allen This isn’t about fighting harder. It is about thinking differently so you can build the education and the life your child deserves.

    We talk about:

    How labels can cloud the way we see our kids, and how to take that power back

    Why dream first matters, especially when it feels impossible

    Lynda’s four step framework for moving from survival to leadership as an empowered parent

    Building a village so you are not doing this alone, and how empowered parents change systems from the ground up

    If you’re tired of proving your child’s worth and ready to try a different way forward, this episode is for you. Come tired, leave empowered, and before the episode ends, write down your child’s dream role and one bold step you will take as their partner this week.

    Lynda’s book: https://a.co/d/h5h7CeR Learn more and connect: https://makeyourmarkinlife.org/empoweredparentsbee

    Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/finding-common-ground--6199849/support.

    Recorded at ROC Vox Recording & Production Studios in Rochester, NY. Learn more at rocvox.com.
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    48 分
  • When “Someday” Becomes Now: Life After Mom and Dad
    2026/01/07
    Planning isn’t just paperwork. What happens when families do everything they can, but without guidance, the plan unravels at the exact moment it matters most?

    In this episode of Finding Common Ground, Heather and Steve are joined by Samantha Harrison, founder of Momentum Family Strategies and a disability support strategist who works with families navigating what she calls life after mom and dad.
    Samantha brings a rare, honest perspective from the front lines. She supports siblings and aging parents who suddenly find themselves responsible for everything—services, housing, staffing, paperwork—often at the exact moment they are grieving the loss or decline of a primary caregiver. She explains, “We tell families to plan ahead, but we don’t teach them how to plan for the day they’re not there.”

    Together, they explore why planning too often becomes reactive, why paperwork alone can’t carry a future, and how systems built around crisis leave families scrambling when stability matters most.

    In this conversation, you’ll hear:

    Why families are told they’ve “planned,” but still feel unprepared when the moment comes

    How siblings become caregivers overnight, without training or a roadmap

    Why self-direction is often misunderstood as a shortcut instead of a responsibility

    What truly makes a plan hold when the primary caregiver is gone

    How guidance, education, and vision—not just forms—change outcomes

    “Without guidance, families don’t fail to plan. They’re set up to plan in pieces.”

    Samantha also shares practical insight into letters of intent, future planning, workforce realities, and how families can begin identifying gaps before those gaps turn into crisis.

    “Planning has to start with the why—what kind of life do we want, and why does it matter?”

    This episode is for parents, siblings, advocates, professionals, and policymakers who have ever asked themselves what really happens when support systems are no longer held together by one person’s unpaid labor.

    This isn’t a conversation about fear.
    It’s a conversation about preparation, honesty, and building plans that can stand—even when we’re not there to hold them up.

    Recorded at ROC Vox Recording & Production in Pittsford, NY. Learn more at https://rocvox.com.

    #FindingCommonGround, #PodcastWithPurpose, #ChangingTheWayAdvocacysDone, #EmpowermentAdvocacy, #UnfilteredConversations, #FocusedOnSolutions, #InviteTheElephantToDinner, #DisabilityAdvocacy, #CaregiverSupport, #LifeAfterMomAndDad, #FuturePlanning, #FamilyCaregivers, #SelfDirection, #DisabilityRights, #CaregiverLife, #PlanningAhead, #CommunityLiving, #EndInstitutionalization, #AgingCaregivers, #SiblingSupport, #InclusionMatters, #SystemsChange

    Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/finding-common-ground--6199849/support.

    Recorded at ROC Vox Recording & Production Studios in Rochester, NY. Learn more at rocvox.com.
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    40 分