Nikolas and Michael get personal about masculinity and the father wound: how boys are quietly taught to suppress emotion, the difference between inheriting a parent's fear and reacting against it, and what it takes to change a pattern carried since childhood. They talk about parenting the way they wish they had been parented, loving a child for who they are rather than what they do, and the hard question of whether a relational wound can be completed without the parent. It ends on blame, grief, and the good memories worth holding onto.

00:00 Intro

00:45 Masculinity and the father wound

02:54 Looking at the father relationship for the first time

06:05 How boys get taught to suppress emotion

10:30 Masculinity as a denial of "soft" qualities

13:13 How suppression is passed down

16:40 Transmission, reaction, and the "shy kid" label

20:31 It took suffering and awareness to change

23:03 Parenting as a second-time father

26:57 Love for who you are vs what you do: the shame wound

31:47 Relational wounds and relational repair

34:23 Safety, TRE, and reparenting yourself

36:44 Can you complete a father wound without the father?

39:54 Letting go of blame

43:23 Grieving what you did not get

46:28 Wrap-up

Nikolas and Michael turn the lens on themselves and the podcast itself: the quiet fear of saying the wrong thing, where self-censorship comes from, and what honest conversation actually costs. They trace their path from software engineering into psychology, move through charged territory like COVID and polarization, and get into the strange discomfort of hearing your own voice. Nikolas introduces the "true mirror," and they land on podcasting as a kind of shadow work and a practice in staying present.

00:00 Intro

00:45 The discomfort of putting yourself out there

04:29 From software engineering to psychology

08:14 Self-censorship and the fear of saying the wrong thing

09:56 Being apolitical, and the social cost of speaking

11:55 COVID as a charged entry point

16:07 Platforms, news, and whose interests

18:10 Relaxing the self-censorship

20:35 Intention and the casual, unscripted format

23:44 Hearing your own voice: the cringe

26:39 The "true mirror": seeing yourself unflipped

29:23 Self-observation and self-acceptance

31:55 Podcasting as working on yourself

37:21 Staying present and becoming a good conversationalist

43:19 Why this should be taught, and the joy in it

45:00 Wrap-up

Michael brings his first experience of Hakomi, a gentle, mindfulness-based somatic therapy, and the two of them unpack what actually happens when the body starts to unwind on its own. They get into following impulses instead of forcing them, why a guided container helps, the discipline of allowing rather than controlling, and how exaggerating a tension can be the thing that finally releases it. Along the way: repression and chronic pain, fascia and non-directive movement, and where Hakomi sits next to TRE.

00:00 Intro

00:45 Michael's first Hakomi session

06:45 Remote vs. in-person somatic work

09:48 The body unwinding on its own: following the impulse

12:30 Why a guided container helps

16:00 Allowing vs. controlling

19:00 Expectations, impatience, and resistance

22:15 Bringing what is below awareness back online

26:45 Exaggerating a tension to release it

30:45 Repression, chronic pain, and compartmentalization

35:15 Fascia, unwinding, and not needing to know why

40:15 Aftereffects and worse before better

42:45 When it is too much: TRE and overdoing it

46:05 Hakomi vs. TRE: a tool or a whole path

48:55 Wrap-up

Megan's Website:
https://unitybreathwork.com/

In this episode of Expanding Consciousness, we sit down with Megan Ashton, founder of Unity Breathwork, to explore the transformative potential—and the responsibilities—of conscious connected breathwork.

Megan shares her deeply personal journey from addiction, disordered eating, and years of searching for healing modalities to discovering breathwork and experiencing a profound shift in her relationship with herself. We explore what actually happens during a conscious connected breathwork session, including emotional releases, altered states of consciousness, physical sensations, insights, and experiences of deep peace and clarity.

A major focus of the conversation is trauma-informed breathwork. Megan explains why agency, empowerment, nervous-system awareness, preparation, grounding, and integration are essential when working with people in highly vulnerable states. We discuss why facilitators should create space for catharsis without chasing it, how to recognize the edges of someone’s window of tolerance, and why the facilitator’s own nervous system matters.

We also dive into the role of touch, group dynamics, music, intuition, and even elements of IFS in breathwork—and question how much direction a facilitator should provide when the body’s own wisdom may know what is needed.

Timestamps

00:00 – Grounding with Conscious Breathing

03:56 – Megan’s Journey: Addiction, Disordered Eating & Searching for Healing

06:18 – Discovering Conscious Connected Breathwork

08:47 – What Is Conscious Connected Breathwork?

09:57 – Conscious Connected Breathwork vs. Wim Hof

11:46 – Why the First 15 Minutes Can Feel Difficult

13:31 – What Happens During a Breathwork Session?

15:38 – Emotional Release, Visions, Insights & Non-Ordinary States

17:14 – Why Repetition Matters for Nervous System Change

18:26 – The “Stress Bucket” & Processing Trauma Through the Body

21:14 – Do You Need to Relive Trauma to Heal It?

22:58 – Catharsis: Holding Space Without Chasing It

24:03 – Microdose vs. Macrodose Breathwork

25:23 – The Window of Tolerance & Avoiding Overwhelm

25:45 – What Actually Makes an Experience Traumatizing?

26:59 – Agency, Empowerment & Safety in Breathwork

27:33 – What Does Trauma-Informed Breathwork Look Like?

28:02 – Preparing People for Tetany & Intense Experiences

29:45 – The Importance of Grounding & Integration

30:18 – The Facilitator’s Nervous System & Creating a Safe Container

31:19 – Is Bluetooth Affected by Breathwork?

32:14 – Music, Touch, IFS & Other Breathwork Approaches

33:14 – Why Megan Prefers Live, Intuitive Facilitation

35:16 – The Power of the Group Container

36:45 – Touch, Safety & Co-Regulation

38:06 – Relational Trauma & the Role of the Facilitator

39:14 – Two Points of Consent & Reading the Body

41:13 – Why Trauma-Informed Training Matters

42:44 – Adverse Experiences in Breathwork

43:10 – Seizures, Hypoxic Blackouts & Breath-Holding

45:32 – The Risk of Combining Wim Hof Techniques with Long Breathwork Sessions

48:01 – The Bohr Effect & What Happens During Prolonged Breathwork

48:50 – Why Safety Conversations Matter

49:44 – Megan’s 450-Hour Breathwork Facilitator Training

51:07 – Professional Standards & the Wild West of Breathwork

51:51 – Red Flags When Choosing a Breathwork Facilitator

53:23 – Final Thoughts: The Power and Responsibility of Breathwork

You can do years of inner work, but if your nervous system is still organized around threat, the body keeps paying the price through stress, inflammation, and chronic pain. In this episode, trauma therapist Shari B. Kaplan (LCSW) joins Nikolas and Michael to explore how trauma lives in the body, why the nervous system holds the key to lasting healing, and what it really takes to move from surviving to thriving.

With over 30 years of clinical experience, Shari weaves together somatic awareness, Internal Family Systems, Jungian depth work, and integrative approaches to mental health. We get into the link between trauma, chronic pain, and inflammation, how to work with the nervous system instead of against it, practical tools for regulation and breathwork, and why raising the bar on what we accept as good mental health treatment matters more than ever.

Guest: Shari B. Kaplan, LCSW, Founder of Cannectd Wellness

Chapters:

0:00 Intro

0:45 Welcome & Shari's Work

5:22 Personal Journey and the Influence of Family

9:58 Plant Medicine & Integrative Healing

14:31 Integrating Cannabis and Ketamine in Treatment

19:02 Therapeutic Techniques and the Client Relationship

25:38 Empowering Clients Through Breathwork

28:20 Techniques for Calming the Nervous System

31:29 Navigating Resistance to Emotional Expression

34:58 Understanding Anger and Its Release

39:17 Holistic Approaches to Therapy

42:44 Reorganizing Identity and Beliefs

48:31 Integrating Therapy and Coaching

n this episode of the podcast, we delve into the complex and intriguing topic of dissociation, inspired by Donald Kalsched’s book “Trauma and the Soul.” Hosts explore how extreme trauma can split the psyche, leading to dissociative states, and discuss how this defense mechanism operates in everyday life. They share personal experiences, insights on the interplay between dissociation and presence, and practical strategies for grounding and healing. Whether you’re interested in psychological theories, personal growth, or trauma recovery, this episode offers valuable perspectives and practical advice.

Timestamps:

00:00:00 - Intro

00:01:12 - Discussion on Donald Kalsched’s book “Trauma and the Soul”

00:02:30 - Mechanisms of personality split and extreme trauma

00:04:45 - Dissociation as a defense mechanism

00:06:20 - Dissociative Identity Disorder vs. everyday dissociation

00:08:15 - Personal experiences with dissociation

00:09:35 - Dissociation and its impact on daily functioning

00:11:50 - The usefulness and drawbacks of dissociation

00:13:15 - Antidotes to dissociation: Presence and meditation

00:15:00 - Public speaking and dissociation

00:17:25 - Expanding the comfort zone to reduce dissociation

00:19:40 - Grounding practices for nervous system regulation

00:21:30 - The connection between dissociation and the freeze response

00:24:00 - Polyvagal theory and dissociation

00:25:45 - Survival responses and dissociation in extreme situations

00:28:10 - The role of grounding in mitigating dissociation

00:30:25 - The importance of recognizing triggers

00:32:00 - Behavioral and exposure therapies

00:34:20 - Dissociation as a tool in high-pressure situations

00:36:45 - Revisiting stressful situations in safe environments

00:38:15 - Finding the edge of comfort and presence

00:40:50 - Analogy of cold showers and the point of surrender

00:43:30 - Depersonalization and its relation to dissociation

00:45:25 - Differentiating useful dissociation from harmful depersonalization

00:47:10 - The importance of consent and agency in depersonalization

00:49:00 - Meditative detachment vs. pathological dissociation

00:51:15 - Personal experiences of depersonalization

00:53:30 - Reality shifts post-psychedelic experiences

00:55:00 - Bridging altered states and everyday reality

00:57:15 - Maintaining a fluid perspective on reality

00:59:30 - The role of ego in dissociation and realization

01:01:45 - The impact of mindset on experiencing depersonalization

01:04:00 - Strategies for surrender and acceptance

01:06:00 - Addressing unprocessed triggers for better regulation

01:08:15 - Grounding and openness as preparation for challenging situations

01:10:25 - The paradox of control and surrender

01:12:50 - The power of acceptance in influencing experiences

01:14:30 - Sailing analogy: Working with the flow for better control

01:16:00 - Closing thoughts and reflections on dissociation and surrender

In this episode of the Expanding Consciousness Podcast, hosts Nik and Michael dive into the world of psychedelic experiences and their profound impact on both the mind and body. Drawing from personal stories and experiences with substances like mushrooms and L**D, they explore the differences between solo and group tripping, the importance of integrating these experiences into daily life, and the surprising lessons that psychedelics can teach us about physical and emotional well-being. Join them as they discuss the challenges and rewards of facing inner tensions, the therapeutic potential of these substances, and practical ways to maintain the positive changes in everyday life. Whether you're a seasoned psychonaut or simply curious about the transformative power of psychedelics, this episode offers valuable insights and practical advice for anyone interested in expanding their consciousness.

00:00:00 - Introduction to the episode's topic on tripping and integration 00:01:46 - Nik and Michael share recent tripping experiences 00:04:23 - Comparing solo tripping vs. group settings 00:07:12 - The impact of group dynamics on psychedelic experiences 00:09:45 - Physical responses during trips: tremors and muscle movements 00:12:20 - Integrating trip insights into daily life: Focusing on body tension 00:15:08 - Practical techniques for dealing with body load during trips 00:18:01 - The value of tripping for somatic and emotional awareness 00:21:15 - Processing emotions during psychedelic experiences 00:25:45 - Managing mental content and thought loops during trips 00:29:33 - Insights from recurring themes and messages during trips 00:34:12 - Physical exercises and their impact on mental health 00:37:50 - Personal stories of transformation through physical activity 00:41:25 - The struggle with habits and coping mechanisms 00:45:40 - Lessons learned from psychedelics: The importance of physical health 00:48:15 - Awareness and acceptance: Key takeaways from tripping 00:52:50 - Bridging the gap between psychedelic states and daily life 00:56:30 - Overcoming the quick fix mentality in personal growth 01:00:22 - Michael Singer's approach to dealing with samskaras 01:03:14 - Shifting relationships to discomfort and challenging experiences 01:06:10 - Final thoughts and reflections on the psychedelic journey 01:08:05 - Conclusion and closing remarks

Timestamps:

In Episode number 2 we take a deep dive into Jung's concept of the shadow and how we can use this concept and apply it to our life. We also answer what individuation means and how that relates to mid life crisis.