How to Find Peace When You Never Get an Apology or Explanation

Are you still waiting for that phone call? The one where you estranged loved one finally explains what happened, says they're sorry, or tells you they want to make things right?

Maybe you've imagined that conversation a hundred times. You've rehearsed what you would say, hoped for an explanation, and wondered if today might finally be the day.

But what happens when the phone doesn't ring? The text is ignored?

One of the hardest parts of family estrangement is living with unanswered questions. We can spend so much time waiting for someone else to do something and end up putting our own happiness and peace on hold.

In this episode of Estrangement: Turning Pain into Peace we're talking about what it means to let go of expectations, stop waiting for an apology or explanation, and begin putting your energy into the things you actually can control.

Moving forward doesn't mean you no longer love that person. It doesn't mean you've closed the door on reconciliation. It simply means you're choosing not to spend another day standing in the doorway waiting for someone else to open it.

Find the full transcript for this episode at https://BeckyKolb.com/86

What do you struggle with most in family estrangement? What topic would you like to hear? Send me a text.

A little more help for you

If you're struggling with the pain of family estrangement, I've created a free guide, 5 Things to Do When a Loved One Walks Away. It offers practical steps to help you begin moving forward.

Download your free guide at https://beckykolb.com/guide

Schedule a free 30-minute conversation about coaching at https://www.beckykolb.com/lets-talk

I'm Becky Kolb, a Certified online Life Coach specializing in family estrangement coaching for women. i help women find peace and begin living meaningful lives, even when someone they love is no longer part of their life.

You can become whole even when the relationship isn't.

Waiting for your estranged one to change is often postponing your own life.

When someone you love walks away, waiting can become a way of life.

You wait for the phone to ring.

You check your texts.

You wonder if today might be the day you hear from them.

A birthday comes around and you wonder if they'll reach out. Then a holiday. Then another birthday.

And somewhere along the way, without even realizing it, you can begin putting your own life on hold.

I understand why.

When a relationship is important to us, we want to fix it. We think if we can just find the right words, give it enough time, apologize one more time, explain ourselves better or reach out at just the right moment, maybe things will change.

Hope isn't a bad thing. I don't believe you have to give up hope for reconciliation.

But there is a difference between having hope and living in waiting.

And sometimes that difference is hard to see.

Find the full transcript for this episode and resources for women navigating family estrangement at beckykolb.com/85

What do you struggle with most in family estrangement? What topic would you like to hear? Send me a text.

Becky Kolb is a Certified Life Coach specializing in Family Estrangement. Although you can't control another person's choices about reconciliation, you can control you so that it doesn't define your whole life. You can leave the door open without standing in the doorway and discover peace to live joyfully - even amid estrangement.

Download the free guide to "Things to Do When A Loved One Walks Away" at www.beckykolb.com/guide

I offer a 30 minute free conversation to answer your questions about coaching, explain how I can help you discover wholeness and peace with coaching. It's a no-pressure and no-obligation conversation. www.beckykolb.com/consultation

Becky Kolb is a Certified Life Coach specializing in Family Estrangement. Although you can't control another person's choices about reconciliation, you can control you so that it doesn't define your whole life. You can leave the door open without standing in the doorway and discover peace to live joyfully - even amid estrangement.

Download the free guide to "Things to Do When A Loved One Walks Away" at www.beckykolb.com/guide

I offer a 30 minute free conversation to answer your questions about coaching, explain how I can help you discover wholeness and peace with coaching. It's a no-pressure and no-obligation conversation. www.beckykolb.com/consultation

What do you struggle with most in family estrangement? What topic would you like to hear? Send me a text.

Becky Kolb is a Certified Life Coach specializing in Family Estrangement. Although you can't control another person's choices about reconciliation, you can control you so that it doesn't define your whole life. You can leave the door open without standing in the doorway and discover peace to live joyfully - even amid estrangement.

Download the free guide to "Things to Do When A Loved One Walks Away" at www.beckykolb.com/guide

I offer a 30 minute free conversation to answer your questions about coaching, explain how I can help you discover wholeness and peace with coaching. It's a no-pressure and no-obligation conversation. www.beckykolb.com/consultation

It's been a while since I've published a podcast, but don't give up. I am in the process of revamping my website beckykolb.com

Expanding into family estrangement aligns with my own experience as well as what women are telling me they face.

My podcast has been geared toward women with estranged adult children, but what I'm finding is more and more women are dealing with other estrangement too.

Adult children have walked away. But so have daughters-in-law or sons-in-law. Grandchildren are estranged. Siblings, parents and other loved ones are part of the equation.

So, stick with me and you'll find a newly revamped website and podcast right here on this channel coming soon.

And I'm offering a new value item free to those who are signed up on my website. It's called What to Do When Your Adult Child Pulls Away. And you can get it free of charge by going to beckykolb.com/guide and enter your email address.

When it is finished in a few weeks, I'll send it to you free of charge.

Stay strong my friend and know that more support is coming soon.

What do you struggle with most in family estrangement? What topic would you like to hear? Send me a text.

Becky Kolb is a Certified Life Coach specializing in Family Estrangement. Although you can't control another person's choices about reconciliation, you can control you so that it doesn't define your whole life. You can leave the door open without standing in the doorway and discover peace to live joyfully - even amid estrangement.

Download the free guide to "Things to Do When A Loved One Walks Away" at www.beckykolb.com/guide

I offer a 30 minute free conversation to answer your questions about coaching, explain how I can help you discover wholeness and peace with coaching. It's a no-pressure and no-obligation conversation. www.beckykolb.com/consultation

You’ve heard it before – just let go in estrangement. Let it go. Surrender and you’ll feel better. Well, I surrendered and decided to let go and guess what? I didn’t feel better. I still obsessed and grieved, and my broken heart didn’t heal.

This episode is a short but concise 5 steps to let go in estrangement. It’s an uncomplicated process but it requires your commitment and I promise you’ll find the peace you seek. Ready? Let’s roll today’s episode.

Find the full transcript for this episode plus resources for women at Estrangement: Turning Pain into Peace at beckykolb.com/84.

What do you struggle with most in family estrangement? What topic would you like to hear? Send me a text.

Becky Kolb is a Certified Life Coach specializing in Family Estrangement. Although you can't control another person's choices about reconciliation, you can control you so that it doesn't define your whole life. You can leave the door open without standing in the doorway and discover peace to live joyfully - even amid estrangement.

Download the free guide to "Things to Do When A Loved One Walks Away" at www.beckykolb.com/guide

I offer a 30 minute free conversation to answer your questions about coaching, explain how I can help you discover wholeness and peace with coaching. It's a no-pressure and no-obligation conversation. www.beckykolb.com/consultation

Cynical thinking in estrangement is more common than you may realize. What exactly is cynicism? Do you have unrealistic or inappropriate expectations of others? Let me ask another way.

Are you hardened, bitter and jaded when you think of your estranged loved one? That’s a question that I would ask you to ponder in prayer before God. I would have said no to that question, but the reality is that cynical thinking was embedded deep within and I couldn’t see it.

Estrangement hurts deeply. The tendency to lash out, defend and even engage in cynical thinking is an outcome. The good news is there is a way to counter it – once it’s recognized. Let’s take a look.

Find the full transcript for this episode plus resources for women at Estrangement: Turning Pain into Peace at beckykolb.com/83.

What do you struggle with most in family estrangement? What topic would you like to hear? Send me a text.

Becky Kolb is a Certified Life Coach specializing in Family Estrangement. Although you can't control another person's choices about reconciliation, you can control you so that it doesn't define your whole life. You can leave the door open without standing in the doorway and discover peace to live joyfully - even amid estrangement.

Download the free guide to "Things to Do When A Loved One Walks Away" at www.beckykolb.com/guide

I offer a 30 minute free conversation to answer your questions about coaching, explain how I can help you discover wholeness and peace with coaching. It's a no-pressure and no-obligation conversation. www.beckykolb.com/consultation

What are healthy boundaries? After all, you hear this phrase quite often these days. Especially between estranged parents and their kids. But what does the term mean?

They are healthy limits you set to protect your emotional, physical, and spiritual wellbeing as well as your time. It’s not about controlling others, which if you’ve listened to me long enough, you’ve heard me say a hundred times you cannot control anyone but you.

It is about deciding what you will accept in a relationship and choosing how you will respond to protect your peace, mental wellbeing, and your precious time. Today I’ll share some tips on establishing what healthy boundaries look like.

Find the full transcript for this episode plus resources for women at Estrangement: Turning Pain into Peace at beckykolb.com/82.

What do you struggle with most in family estrangement? What topic would you like to hear? Send me a text.

Becky Kolb is a Certified Life Coach specializing in Family Estrangement. Although you can't control another person's choices about reconciliation, you can control you so that it doesn't define your whole life. You can leave the door open without standing in the doorway and discover peace to live joyfully - even amid estrangement.

Download the free guide to "Things to Do When A Loved One Walks Away" at www.beckykolb.com/guide

I offer a 30 minute free conversation to answer your questions about coaching, explain how I can help you discover wholeness and peace with coaching. It's a no-pressure and no-obligation conversation. www.beckykolb.com/consultation

Living well in the unfinished years is a topic to help you navigate how to live amid estrangement. Because let’s face it, when you are estranged from a loved one, living well isn’t something you do naturally. That was certainly the case with me.

Other podcasts focus on how to fix the relationship. My focus is helping you live from a position of wholeness whether or not the relationship reconciles. Consequently, it’s about building a meaningful life while estrangement exists.

Reclaiming joy, discovering passion and purpose and shedding guilt and shame that weigh you down.

Ready to jump in? Let’s roll today’s episode.

Find the full transcript for this episode plus resources for women at Estrangement: Turning Pain into Peace at beckykolb.com/81.

What do you struggle with most in family estrangement? What topic would you like to hear? Send me a text.

Becky Kolb is a Certified Life Coach specializing in Family Estrangement. Although you can't control another person's choices about reconciliation, you can control you so that it doesn't define your whole life. You can leave the door open without standing in the doorway and discover peace to live joyfully - even amid estrangement.

Download the free guide to "Things to Do When A Loved One Walks Away" at www.beckykolb.com/guide

I offer a 30 minute free conversation to answer your questions about coaching, explain how I can help you discover wholeness and peace with coaching. It's a no-pressure and no-obligation conversation. www.beckykolb.com/consultation