In today’s episode, Heather wraps up her three-part series on how to advocate for yourself at work and this one’s all about the magic moment: mastering the art of the ask.

If you’ve ever hesitated to ask for what you want because you weren’t sure how to do it gracefully, persuasively, or confidently, this episode is for you. Heather breaks down what true charisma really means (it’s not about being flashy or loud!) and how you can use empathy, storytelling, and the right tone to inspire others to say yes.

With powerful stories, evidence-based research, and step-by-step guidance, Heather shows you how to turn your next “ask” into a collaborative, impactful conversation that gets results.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• What Charisma Really Is – It’s not charm or popularity, it’s the ability to get people to act.
  
  

• How to “Know Your Jury” – Why understanding your audience’s pain points, needs, and goals changes everything about how you ask.
  
  

• The Power of Believing in Your Jury – How your energy and mindset shape the way others respond to you.
  
  

• Storytelling vs. Metaphors – Why the right metaphor can connect faster and hit deeper than a long story.
  
  

• The Role of Evidence – How to collect and create evidence to strengthen your case before you ask.
  
  

• Tone Over Body Language – The science behind why tone of voice carries more weight than posture or facial expressions.
  
  

• The “What Now?” Question – What to ask if your first request doesn’t get a yes and how it helps you find your next step.
  
  

📘 Free Guide: Advocate for Yourself at Work – Download Heather’s companion workbook to put this three-part series into action.
🌐 The Elegant Warrior – Visit elegantwarrior.com for more resources

In this episode:

[00:00] Welcome to Part 3: Mastering the Art of the Ask
[01:15] What “charisma” actually means
[04:45] Knowing your jury and why it matters
[06:40] The difference between empathy and perspective
[09:10] Believing in your jury before they believe in you
[11:23] Why your words matter more than your body language
[13:45] Storytelling vs. metaphor: what connects faster
[16:10] How to collect and create evidence
[18:30] The truth about tone of voice and energy
[20:50] What to do when your ask doesn’t get a yes
[23:00] Putting it all together: the three steps of self-advocacy

“Before you worry about them believing in you, try believing in them and see what a difference that makes.”

Connect with Heather:

• Schedule a call with Heather

• Follow Heather on Instagram

• Website

• Watch Episodes on Youtube

• Heather’s TikTok ‍

• heather@elegantwarrior.com

The Elegant Warrior Podcast and content posted by Heather Hansen is presented solely for general informational, educational, and entertainment purposes. The use of information on this podcast or materials linked from this podcast or website is at the user’s own risk. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or mental health condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals for any such conditions.

In this second episode of Heather’s three-part series on how to advocate for yourself at work, she dives into one of the most transformative steps: asking for what you want out loud and with delight.

Building on the foundation from Part 1 (“Know What You Want”), Heather explores why choice and energy are everything when it comes to advocating effectively. Asking for what you want isn’t just about words—it’s about how you feel when you ask. From her years as a trial attorney to her experience coaching clients, Heather reveals how shifting your beliefs can transform your results, your confidence, and your career.

• Why Manifesting Isn’t Enough – You can journal, visualize, and set intentions—but to get results, you must also advocate out loud to the person who can give you what you want.
  
  

• The Hidden Cost of Hinting – How implying your desires (instead of saying them) leads to resentment, and how to break that pattern.
  
  

• The Energy of Asking – Why your energy speaks louder than words, and how delight, curiosity, and confidence attract what you want.
  
  

• The BEAR Formula – How your Belief, Energy, Action, and Result connect—and how changing your belief changes everything.
  
  

• The Belief Triangle – A powerful framework for building unshakable confidence: believe yourself, believe in yourself, and believe you can help.
  
  

• Real Talk from the Courtroom – Heather’s story of how asking out loud (and with delight) changed her career and her results.
  
  

📘 Free Download: Companion Guidebook-How to Advocate for Yourself at Work
📚 Advocate to Win – Heather’s book on mastering the art of self-advocacy
📖 The Lion Tracker’s Guide to Life by Boyd Varty – as mentioned in this episode
🌐 The Elegant Warrior – Visit elegantwarrior.com for more resources

In this episode:

[00:00] Welcome back: Step two of self-advocacy
[01:47] Why “asking out loud” is a choice—and how to make it
[04:08] The difference between manifesting and advocating
[06:33] Why implying what you want leads to frustration
[08:55] The danger of resentment when you don’t ask directly
[10:31] How your energy reveals your belief
[13:39] The BEAR Formula: belief → energy → action → result
[16:02] Choosing beliefs that lead to confidence and delight
[17:40] The Belief Triangle: building your foundation of self-trust
[18:29] What’s next: Step three—Mastering the Art of the Ask

“Your energy is your belief made visible.”

Connect with Heather:

• Schedule a call with Heather

• Follow Heather on Instagram

• Website

• Watch Episodes on Youtube

• Heather’s TikTok ‍

• heather@elegantwarrior.com

The Elegant Warrior Podcast and content posted by Heather Hansen is presented solely for general informational, educational, and entertainment purposes. The use of information on this podcast or materials linked from this podcast or website is at the user’s own risk. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or mental health condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals for any such conditions.

In today’s episode, Heather kicks off a special three-part series on how to advocate for yourself at work, whether you’re seeking a raise, a promotion, or a new opportunity. Advocacy isn’t just about asking, it’s about asking in a way that makes you likely to get it.

This first episode focuses on the foundation of self-advocacy: knowing what you want. Heather shares how clarity, specificity, and the courage to want what you want can completely change the way you approach your goals.

Through real client stories and practical tools, she reveals why defining what you want is the key to every other step of advocacy and how small, strategic steps can lead to big wins.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• The Three Steps of Advocacy – Why every successful ask starts with clarity, confidence, and follow-through.

• The Power of Specificity – How breaking your goal into smaller steps (and knowing who can give you each one) can change your results.

• Permission to Want What You Want – Why allowing yourself to desire something, even when it feels uncomfortable, is essential for growth.

• Redefining the Win – How success isn’t just about getting the job or promotion, but building belief in yourself and evidence that you can do hard things.

• A Real-World Story – How one client went from dropping her resume on LinkedIn to securing multiple interviews and rediscovering what she truly wanted.
  
  

Resources & Links:

📘 Free Download: Companion Guidebook-How to Advocate for Yourself at Work
📚 Advocate to Win – Heather’s book on mastering the art of self-advocacy
🌐 The Elegant Warrior – Visit elegantwarrior.com for more resources

[00:00] Welcome to the three-part series on self-advocacy
[01:08] Why knowing what you want changes everything
[03:30] From big dreams to actionable steps
[05:52] A client’s story: turning a resume drop into an opportunity
[10:31] Learning to want what you want
[15:17] Redefining what it means to “win”
[17:40] Believing you have your own back
[19:58] What’s next: Step two, asking for what you want out loud and with delight

“Knowing what you want is the foundation of advocating for yourself. When you allow yourself to want what you want, you’ve already begun to win.”

Connect with Heather:

• Schedule a call with Heather

• Follow Heather on Instagram

• Website

• Watch Episodes on Youtube

• Heather’s TikTok ‍

• heather@elegantwarrior.com

The Elegant Warrior Podcast and content posted by Heather Hansen is presented solely for general informational, educational, and entertainment purposes. The use of information on this podcast or materials linked from this podcast or website is at the user’s own risk. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or mental health condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals for any such conditions.

In today’s episode, Heather speaks with Simone Knego, author of The Extraordinary Unordinary You, about what it truly takes to build confidence, embrace your story, and live fully.

From adopting three children from South Korea and Ethiopia, to climbing Mount Kilimanjaro, to co-hosting a podcast with her daughter, Simone’s life has been a series of extraordinary experiences that shaped her outlook on resilience, patience, and self-worth. Together, they unpack how confidence is not about being perfect, but about choosing to see yourself differently and taking small, brave steps toward growth.

• Why Patience Builds Confidence – How parenting her son Noah taught Simone to redefine patience and see it as a strength.
  
  

• The Power of Choices – Why even small, bold choices can completely change your trajectory.
  
  

• Living Like You Have One Life – Lessons from her daughter Mili on resilience and joy despite difficult beginnings.
  
  

• Climbing Your Own Mountains – Simone’s Kilimanjaro climb and how it inspired her to say “yes” to growth outside her comfort zone.
  
  

• Breaking Free from “Just” – Why removing the word just from your vocabulary transforms the way you see your value.
  
  

• Control-Alt-Delete for Confidence – Simone’s simple mindset tool for shifting negative self-talk in the moment.
  
  

📖 The Extraordinary Unordinary You: Follow Your Own Path, Discover Your Own Journey – Get Simone’s book
🎙️ Her Unshakeable Confidence Podcast – Simone’s podcast with her daughter
🌐 Simone Knego’s Website – Learn more about her work and upcoming book Real Confidence

[00:00] Meet Simone Knego, author, speaker, and mother of six
[03:45] Why patience is the foundation of confidence
[10:37] Choices that shape your story – stepping out of line
[12:59] Lessons from Mili: you only get one life
[15:19] Climbing Kilimanjaro and finding purpose
[20:06] Breaking free from “just” and claiming your value
[22:26] Building unshakable confidence with her daughter
[24:42] Control-Alt-Delete: a confidence reset tool
[27:00] Where to find Simone and her books

Connect with Heather:

• Schedule a call with Heather

• Follow Heather on Instagram

• Website

• Watch Episodes on Youtube

• Heather’s TikTok ‍

• heather@elegantwarrior.com

The Elegant Warrior Podcast and content posted by Heather Hansen is presented solely for general informational, educational, and entertainment purposes. The use of information on this podcast or materials linked from this podcast or website is at the user’s own risk. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or mental health condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals for any such conditions.

In today’s episode, Heather answers a powerful question from her Instagram community: How do I advocate for myself without bragging?

This is a challenge so many of us, especially women, face. How do you share your gifts, your expertise, and your accomplishments with confidence and authenticity without feeling arrogant? Heather breaks it down into three core strategies that will help you shift your mindset and your approach so you can advocate with grace, clarity, and impact.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Talk About the Thing, Not Yourself How externalizing your gifts makes sharing them feel like service, not bragging.
  
  

• Believe in Others as Much as Yourself Why trusting the openness and curiosity of the people you’re speaking to shifts your energy and confidence.
  
  

• Own Your Gifts Why fully embracing and sharing your talents is essential to living your purpose and making a difference.
  
  

• The Role of Service in Advocacy How approaching advocacy from a place of contribution removes the stigma of bragging.
  
  

• Practical Tips to Change Your Self-Talk From using “iliism” to adopting a service mindset, Heather shares tools to reframe doubt into empowerment.
  
  

Resources & Links:
📖 Chatter by Ethan Kross – Learn more about self-talk strategies
🎧 [Heather’s conversation with Ethan Kross on The Elegant Warrior Podcast]

In this episode:
[00:00] Listener question: How do I advocate for myself without bragging?
[02:00] Talk about your gifts as a “thing” separate from you
[07:30] Believe in the people you’re speaking to
[11:50] Own your unique gifts with confidence
[14:20] Advocacy as service vs. bragging
[17:30] Final thoughts & invitation to send your questions to Heather

Connect with Heather:

• Schedule a call with Heather

• Follow Heather on Instagram

• Website

• Watch Episodes on Youtube

• Heather’s TikTok ‍

• heather@elegantwarrior.com

The Elegant Warrior Podcast and content posted by Heather Hansen is presented solely for general informational, educational, and entertainment purposes. The use of information on this podcast or materials linked from this podcast or website is at the user’s own risk. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or mental health condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals for any such conditions.

In today’s episode, Heather sits down with Dr. Christie McMullen, educator, author, speaker, and leadership expert, to explore how learning truly takes root. With a 25-year career spanning high school classrooms, adult education, and leadership training, Christie brings a wealth of experience to the conversation. Her book, Learning Can Stick: A Guide to Make Every Learning Experience Safe, Logical, Fun, and Memorable, offers strategies for teaching and leading that apply far beyond the classroom.

Together, Heather and Christie dive into why everyone is a teacher, whether you’re guiding patients, mentoring employees, or leading a courtroom, and how to make every lesson both memorable and impactful.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Performance vs. Learning Goals – How setting both helps define success and the steps to get there.

• “Clear is Kind” – Why clarity is essential in teaching, leading, and everyday communication.

• The Power of Connection – How learners deepen understanding by engaging with each other.

• Trusting the Learning Process – Why letting go of control often leads to better outcomes.

• Making It Personal – How emotion and reflection anchor lessons in memory.

• Note-Taking vs. Note-Making – Why interacting with your notes makes all the difference.

• Sprinkle, Splash, Flood, Drip – Christie’s framework for ensuring information actually sticks.
  
  

Resources & Links:
📖 Learning Can Stick: A Guide to Make Every Learning Experience Safe, Logical, Fun, and Memorable Buy the book here
🌐 Christie McMullen Learn more about her work and speaking

In this episode:

[00:00] Meet Dr. Christie McMullen, educator, leader, and author
[02:30] Performance vs. learning goals explained
[07:00] Why “clear is kind” in leadership and teaching
[09:20] Leveraging connection to make learning stick
[12:45] Trusting the process and formative feedback
[16:30] Making it personal: emotion, reflection, and relevance
[22:00] Turning notes into learning tools
[27:40] Sprinkle, splash, flood, drip: repetition that works
[31:10] Final reflections and key takeaways

Connect with Heather:

• Schedule a call with Heather

• Follow Heather on Instagram

• Website

• Watch Episodes on Youtube

• Heather’s TikTok ‍

• heather@elegantwarrior.com

The Elegant Warrior Podcast and content posted by Heather Hansen is presented solely for general informational, educational, and entertainment purposes. The use of information on this podcast or materials linked from this podcast or website is at the user’s own risk. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or mental health condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals for any such conditions.

n today’s episode, Heather speaks with Rebecca Heiss, evolutionary biologist, speaker, and author of Springboard: Transform Stress to Work for You. Rebecca shares her groundbreaking perspective on stress, not as something to eliminate, but as a force you can reframe and harness. With her Fearless Stress Formula, she teaches how to stop fighting stress and instead use it as fuel for growth, resilience, and meaning.

Rebecca’s journey spans science, entrepreneurship, and personal challenge from founding an ice cream company to leading discomfort challenges and building communities. Together, she and Heather unpack the myths about stress and how you can shift your relationship with it to live a more powerful, purposeful life.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• The Fearless Stress Formula: A three-part system to stop fearing stress and start working with it.

• It’s Not a Tiger: How to recognize when your body’s “danger” signals are overreacting to everyday life.

• Transforming Stress into Energy: Why reframing anxiety as excitement can boost your performance.

• Curiosity Over Fear: How asking questions interrupts stress spirals and shifts perspective.

• Trajectory and Action: Why small steps into discomfort matter more than avoidance.

• Post-Traumatic Growth: The surprising science that shows stress and growth can coexist.

• The Power of Community: How stress can actually deepen connection and why support systems matter.
  
  

Resources & Links:

📖 Springboard: Transform Stress to Work for You Get the book here
🌐 Learn more about Rebecca’s work rebeccaheiss.com
🏀 Game Changer Basketball WeAreGameChanger.org

Episode Highlights:

[00:00] Meet Rebecca Heiss – scientist, author, and entrepreneur
[04:54] The Fearless Stress Formula: It’s Not a Tiger
[09:41] Stress as a sign of meaning and purpose
[11:12] Transforming stress into excitement and energy
[14:53] Why curiosity and fear can’t coexist
[17:57] The power of trajectory and action
[22:03] Learned helplessness vs. agency
[26:13] Post-traumatic stress and post-traumatic growth
[29:41] Building community with Game Changer Basketball
[32:57] Hope and the importance of support systems

Connect with Heather:

• Schedule a call with Heather

• Follow Heather on Instagram

• Website

• Watch Episodes on Youtube

• Heather’s TikTok ‍

• heather@elegantwarrior.com

The Elegant Warrior Podcast and content posted by Heather Hansen is presented solely for general informational, educational, and entertainment purposes. The use of information on this podcast or materials linked from this podcast or website is at the user’s own risk. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or mental health condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals for any such conditions.

Heather Hansen takes us back to her two decades as a trial attorney and reveals the surprising ways courtroom wisdom can shape your life and career. From the first day she stepped into court, Heather realized it wasn’t just a place of law; it was a classroom of leadership, persuasion, influence, and resilience.

In this episode, Heather shares five powerful lessons from the courtroom that apply far beyond the legal world. Whether you’re navigating career growth, relationships, or leadership challenges, these insights will help you see “the jury” in your life more clearly and make choices that lead to real wins.

If you’ve ever struggled with setbacks, conflict, or defining success on your own terms, this conversation will inspire you to see every challenge as an opportunity to collect and create evidence of your growth.

• Why everyone has a “jury” in life and how to win them over

• The importance of truly knowing your jury before trying to persuade them

• Why confusion, not people, should be treated as the real enemy

• The tough-love truth: if you’re not losing, you’re not trying

• How to redefine what it means to “win” in your life and career
  
  

📚 The Elegant Warrior by Heather Hansen

🌐 Learn more about Heather’s consulting and coaching by setting up a call here.https://calendly.com/beliefbuilders/consult

✨ Quote of the Episode
"If you’re not losing, you’re not trying. Losing is evidence that you’re willing to bet on yourself and take risks with pride." – Heather Hansen

Connect with Heather:

• Schedule a call with Heather

• Follow Heather on Instagram

• Website

• Watch Episodes on Youtube

• Heather’s TikTok ‍

• heather@elegantwarrior.com

The Elegant Warrior Podcast and content posted by Heather Hansen is presented solely for general informational, educational, and entertainment purposes. The use of information on this podcast or materials linked from this podcast or website is at the user’s own risk. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or mental health condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals for any such conditions.