In today’s episode, Heather wraps up her three-part series on how to advocate for yourself at work and this one’s all about the magic moment: mastering the art of the ask.

If you’ve ever hesitated to ask for what you want because you weren’t sure how to do it gracefully, persuasively, or confidently, this episode is for you. Heather breaks down what true charisma really means (it’s not about being flashy or loud!) and how you can use empathy, storytelling, and the right tone to inspire others to say yes.

With powerful stories, evidence-based research, and step-by-step guidance, Heather shows you how to turn your next “ask” into a collaborative, impactful conversation that gets results.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• What Charisma Really Is – It’s not charm or popularity, it’s the ability to get people to act.
  
  

• How to “Know Your Jury” – Why understanding your audience’s pain points, needs, and goals changes everything about how you ask.
  
  

• The Power of Believing in Your Jury – How your energy and mindset shape the way others respond to you.
  
  

• Storytelling vs. Metaphors – Why the right metaphor can connect faster and hit deeper than a long story.
  
  

• The Role of Evidence – How to collect and create evidence to strengthen your case before you ask.
  
  

• Tone Over Body Language – The science behind why tone of voice carries more weight than posture or facial expressions.
  
  

• The “What Now?” Question – What to ask if your first request doesn’t get a yes and how it helps you find your next step.
  
  

📘 Free Guide: Advocate for Yourself at Work – Download Heather’s companion workbook to put this three-part series into action.
🌐 The Elegant Warrior – Visit elegantwarrior.com for more resources

In this episode:

[00:00] Welcome to Part 3: Mastering the Art of the Ask
[01:15] What “charisma” actually means
[04:45] Knowing your jury and why it matters
[06:40] The difference between empathy and perspective
[09:10] Believing in your jury before they believe in you
[11:23] Why your words matter more than your body language
[13:45] Storytelling vs. metaphor: what connects faster
[16:10] How to collect and create evidence
[18:30] The truth about tone of voice and energy
[20:50] What to do when your ask doesn’t get a yes
[23:00] Putting it all together: the three steps of self-advocacy

“Before you worry about them believing in you, try believing in them and see what a difference that makes.”

Connect with Heather:

• Schedule a call with Heather

• Follow Heather on Instagram

• Website

• Watch Episodes on Youtube

• Heather’s TikTok ‍

• heather@elegantwarrior.com

The Elegant Warrior Podcast and content posted by Heather Hansen is presented solely for general informational, educational, and entertainment purposes. The use of information on this podcast or materials linked from this podcast or website is at the user’s own risk. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or mental health condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals for any such conditions.

In this second episode of Heather’s three-part series on how to advocate for yourself at work, she dives into one of the most transformative steps: asking for what you want out loud and with delight.

Building on the foundation from Part 1 (“Know What You Want”), Heather explores why choice and energy are everything when it comes to advocating effectively. Asking for what you want isn’t just about words—it’s about how you feel when you ask. From her years as a trial attorney to her experience coaching clients, Heather reveals how shifting your beliefs can transform your results, your confidence, and your career.

• Why Manifesting Isn’t Enough – You can journal, visualize, and set intentions—but to get results, you must also advocate out loud to the person who can give you what you want.
  
  

• The Hidden Cost of Hinting – How implying your desires (instead of saying them) leads to resentment, and how to break that pattern.
  
  

• The Energy of Asking – Why your energy speaks louder than words, and how delight, curiosity, and confidence attract what you want.
  
  

• The BEAR Formula – How your Belief, Energy, Action, and Result connect—and how changing your belief changes everything.
  
  

• The Belief Triangle – A powerful framework for building unshakable confidence: believe yourself, believe in yourself, and believe you can help.
  
  

• Real Talk from the Courtroom – Heather’s story of how asking out loud (and with delight) changed her career and her results.
  
  

📘 Free Download: Companion Guidebook-How to Advocate for Yourself at Work
📚 Advocate to Win – Heather’s book on mastering the art of self-advocacy
📖 The Lion Tracker’s Guide to Life by Boyd Varty – as mentioned in this episode
🌐 The Elegant Warrior – Visit elegantwarrior.com for more resources

In this episode:

[00:00] Welcome back: Step two of self-advocacy
[01:47] Why “asking out loud” is a choice—and how to make it
[04:08] The difference between manifesting and advocating
[06:33] Why implying what you want leads to frustration
[08:55] The danger of resentment when you don’t ask directly
[10:31] How your energy reveals your belief
[13:39] The BEAR Formula: belief → energy → action → result
[16:02] Choosing beliefs that lead to confidence and delight
[17:40] The Belief Triangle: building your foundation of self-trust
[18:29] What’s next: Step three—Mastering the Art of the Ask

“Your energy is your belief made visible.”

Connect with Heather:

• Schedule a call with Heather

• Follow Heather on Instagram

• Website

• Watch Episodes on Youtube

• Heather’s TikTok ‍

• heather@elegantwarrior.com

The Elegant Warrior Podcast and content posted by Heather Hansen is presented solely for general informational, educational, and entertainment purposes. The use of information on this podcast or materials linked from this podcast or website is at the user’s own risk. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or mental health condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals for any such conditions.

In today’s episode, Heather kicks off a special three-part series on how to advocate for yourself at work, whether you’re seeking a raise, a promotion, or a new opportunity. Advocacy isn’t just about asking, it’s about asking in a way that makes you likely to get it.

This first episode focuses on the foundation of self-advocacy: knowing what you want. Heather shares how clarity, specificity, and the courage to want what you want can completely change the way you approach your goals.

Through real client stories and practical tools, she reveals why defining what you want is the key to every other step of advocacy and how small, strategic steps can lead to big wins.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• The Three Steps of Advocacy – Why every successful ask starts with clarity, confidence, and follow-through.

• The Power of Specificity – How breaking your goal into smaller steps (and knowing who can give you each one) can change your results.

• Permission to Want What You Want – Why allowing yourself to desire something, even when it feels uncomfortable, is essential for growth.

• Redefining the Win – How success isn’t just about getting the job or promotion, but building belief in yourself and evidence that you can do hard things.

• A Real-World Story – How one client went from dropping her resume on LinkedIn to securing multiple interviews and rediscovering what she truly wanted.
  
  

Resources & Links:

📘 Free Download: Companion Guidebook-How to Advocate for Yourself at Work
📚 Advocate to Win – Heather’s book on mastering the art of self-advocacy
🌐 The Elegant Warrior – Visit elegantwarrior.com for more resources

[00:00] Welcome to the three-part series on self-advocacy
[01:08] Why knowing what you want changes everything
[03:30] From big dreams to actionable steps
[05:52] A client’s story: turning a resume drop into an opportunity
[10:31] Learning to want what you want
[15:17] Redefining what it means to “win”
[17:40] Believing you have your own back
[19:58] What’s next: Step two, asking for what you want out loud and with delight

“Knowing what you want is the foundation of advocating for yourself. When you allow yourself to want what you want, you’ve already begun to win.”

Connect with Heather:

• Schedule a call with Heather

• Follow Heather on Instagram

• Website

• Watch Episodes on Youtube

• Heather’s TikTok ‍

• heather@elegantwarrior.com

The Elegant Warrior Podcast and content posted by Heather Hansen is presented solely for general informational, educational, and entertainment purposes. The use of information on this podcast or materials linked from this podcast or website is at the user’s own risk. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or mental health condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals for any such conditions.