I talk to men every single week often they tell me their good intentions: "She was in pain and I was there. I was present."

And I have to applaud them, because that's certainly a win! But I do want to encourage them that presence without words is not enough.

Your silence when she's hurting isn't neutral. Unfortunately, it can feel like you don't care. She may even worry that you're judging her. Sadly, she may even feel that her heart doesn't matter to you.

I don't think that's what you mean. I think you may just not know what to say. It can feel awkward and risky and you don't want to look stupid.

But here's the thing: Jesus wasn't silent. He spoke. He served people with His words. Not to perform. Not to impress. To help them.

So here are the words I often invite men to say. It might be worth you writing these down:

"Honey, how are you feeling?"
"That seems really hard. How are you doing?"
"Is there anything you want to share?"

Yes, it'll feel awkward. Yes, she might not respond the way you hope. But what you just communicated is: I care about your heart.

Do it again next week. And the week after. It compounds.

And if you've been wrong, don't just change the behavior. Use words -- don't be silent. I encourage you to apologize. And I invite you to be specific. Own it.

Character is revealed more by what you repent of -- even than what you do (Dallas Willard).

Silence after conviction isn't golden. It can actually be cowardice wearing a mask. I know I've been there more than I'd like to admit.

Listen to this week's episode. Then, say words to show you care.

And if you're a graduate ready to get back in the game, Proactive launches with a special graduate kickoff. Discounted price disappears September 10th.

Brand new? delightyourmarriage.com/cc

Blessings,
DYM Team
(we used ai to summarize her podcast)

PS - Want more insight into the health of your marriage? Take our free Marital Health Assessment to find out your Marital Health score.

PPS - Ready to start your healing journey? Schedule a free Clarity Call and see if our programs are the right fit for you.

PPPS - Here is what (another) recent Coaching Graduate had to say:
[before coaching], "My wife would punch her card occasionally thinking it was her duty to perform, which made it worse for both of us. We had slowly lost connection and focus on one another. Life including family, work and ministry took focus on our time and our lives. We were doing everything for everybody else and found ourselves absent of time for each other."[after coaching] "Awareness, understanding, joy, health, compassion, intimacy and godliness
Growth of myself and our relationship. Seeing the beauty in my bride. Pursuing it with vigor and not worrying about vulnerability and getting shot down. The program in itself was a major celebration."

I was on the phone with a friend the other day, crying over a broken promise. Someone I trusted deeply said they'd do something significant, and after many assurances, they didn't.

So yeah. I cried.

And my friend let me. She didn't rush me. She didn't fix me. She just held space.

But here's the thing: I didn't stay there.

A mutual friend, a previous client, had said something really powerful about me. And I thought, if he sees that in me, I'm not going to sit here and wallow. I got up and went to the gym.

Feel your feelings. Then get up and grow.

That's what I'm talking about in this week's episode. Because I think a lot of us, especially men who are going through hard things in marriage, either stuff the feelings down (which rots you from the inside) or stay stuck in victim mode (which makes you completely unproductive).

Neither is Jesus' way.

He cried. He was moved to compassion. He wasn't afraid of His feelings. But He didn't let them dictate His wisdom, His choices, or His values.

The Bible says: "Get angry, but don't sin."

Paul said from prison: "Rejoice in the Lord always, and again I say rejoice."

If he can say that in chains, you and I can say it in our context too.

Listen to this week's episode and then do this: Write down the habits that are hard for you. Not the easy ones, those are already on autopilot. The hard ones. Put them on your fridge. Let your family see you push yourself. Be humble. Be a role model. Be a gangster.

And if you need some people in your corner to help you get there, that's exactly what we built Proactive for. It's our brand new accountability cohort, launching now for graduates, cart closes September 10th.

You're more than a victor in Christ. Now walk in it.

Belah Rose

PS - Want more insight into the health of your marriage? Take our free Marital Health Assessment to find out your Marital Health score.

PPS - Ready to start your healing journey? Schedule a free Clarity Call and see if our programs are the right fit for you.

PPPS - Here is what (another) recent Coaching Graduate had to say: [before coaching], "Coming into the program I was in a spiral of self-loathing, disappointment in myself and my marriage, feeling unloved, and having serious doubts about whether my journey should include my wife any longer. I was unhappy and probably put myself into a self-induced depression." [after coaching] "I am now much more mindful that God wants me to be more attractive to my wife inside and out. It is on me to have the discipline to make that real. I have the freedom, power, and gifts of abilities from him to do this."

PS - Want more insight into the health of your marriage? Take our free Marital Health Assessment to find out your Marital Health score.

PPS - Ready to start your healing journey? Schedule a free Clarity Call and see if our programs are the right fit for you.

PPPS - Here is what (another) recent Coaching Graduate had to say:
[before coaching], "Here I was a hypocrite ministering to others in pre marriage counseling. I was providing principles and practices for others while neglecting the most important person in my life. I was at the point that I couldn't see her beauty, and I neglected seeing who she was in Gods eyes."[after coaching] "It had to begin with me. I had to change my ethos and take responsibility for owning where we had drifted to. Change had to begin with myself first. God would never give me more that I can handle...I needed to take the reigns and cause the ship to be aright. The incarnational reality of God in us really manifested within me. God was not angry with my wife, why should I be. God saw my wife's beauty, how come I couldn't see it."

• How to create safety without becoming passive
• Why legitimate pain does not justify bitterness
• How to set firm boundaries without anger
• Why listening matters more than immediately fixing
• How emotional and physical intimacy are connected
• What it actually means to initiate spiritually

PS - Want more insight into the health of your marriage? Take our free Marital Health Assessment to find out your Marital Health score.

PPS - Ready to start your healing journey? Schedule a free Clarity Call and see if our programs are the right fit for you.

PPPS - Here is what (another) recent Coaching Graduate had to say:
"I felt emotionally disconnected from my wife and we had intimacy like once a month. My unmet sexual need both in frequency and quality created more tension a rift between us... [now, after coaching], I have grown in loving my wife by learning to make her safe emotionally and spiritually. I have grown in my consciousness and awareness of the spiritual leadership that I possess and I have expressed that abundantly by intentionally praying for her and our kids twice a day".

Can we encourage you with something?

Wanting intimacy with your wife doesn't make you selfish.

God designed that desire.

But wanting the right thing doesn't always mean we're pursuing it the right way.

Sometimes the very strategies that seem like they should bring us closer actually create more distance.

If you've ever thought:

"Why does she keep pulling away?"

This week's conversation may answer that question.

We'll talk about why pressure almost always backfires, why emotional safety matters so much more than most husbands realize, and how healthy marriages create an environment where intimacy can actually flourish.

One of the biggest takeaways is this:

Don't focus on convincing your wife.

Focus on becoming the kind of husband she feels safe moving toward.

That's where lasting change begins.

If your marriage has felt stuck, let this episode give you both clarity and hope.

Blessings,

The Delight Your Marriage Team
(Shownotes written with AI assistance)

PS - Want more insight into the health of your marriage? Take our free Marital Health Assessment to find out your Marital Health score.

PPS - Ready to start your healing journey? Schedule a free Clarity Call and see if our programs are the right fit for you.

PPPS - Here is what (another) recent Coaching Graduate had to say:
" I felt lonely, discouraged, and hopeless, and resentful...[After Masculinity Reclaimed,] my wife seems to be feeling safer with me and is being more vulnerable and affectionate towards me."

........................................................

Delight Your Marriage is dedicated to helping married couples discover true intimacy and helping heal emotional, spiritual, and physical intimacy--biblically.

For more than 10 years, through our practical tools, group coaching, and podcast, we have seen hundreds of marriages transformed- from couples who were on their way to signing divorce papers to couples who had pretty good marriages but just wanted to connect more.

We are honored to get to walk alongside men & women as they become who God created them to be and see their marriages transformed in the process.

If you'd like to learn more about us and our programs, please visit https://delightyourmarriage.com/

Want more on-the-go content? Follow us on Facebook & Instagram for insightful clips and marriage coaching insights.

Catch up on the podcast on our YouTube channel or your favorite podcast streaming platform.

Ready to take the leap and do the work to heal your marriage? We'd love to chat with you. Schedule a free Clarity Call here.

Thank you for listening and God bless!

Every husband wants to be respected.

But here's a difficult question:

Have you become the kind of man who is truly respectable?

Most people think respect is earned in the big moments.

The promotions.

The accomplishments.

The recognition.

But God often builds respectable men much differently.

In private.

When no one is watching.

One courageous choice.

One difficult apology.

One conviction you refuse to compromise.

One act of obedience after another.

In this week's episode, we dive into why genuine respect grows from the character you build long before anyone else sees it.

The private choices you make today...

Become the man your wife, your children, and others will admire tomorrow.

That's how God builds lasting transformation.

Blessings,

The Delight Your Marriage Team
(Shownotes written with AI assistance)

PS - Want more insight into the health of your marriage? Take our free Marital Health Assessment to find out your Marital Health score.

PPS - Ready to start your healing journey? Schedule a free Clarity Call and see if our programs are the right fit for you.

PPPS - Here is what (another) recent Coaching Graduate had to say:
"I would ponder, 'Is this it?' 'Is this what I have to look forward to for the rest of my life?' There was misery and strife in our relationship below the surface...[Now,] I have grown tremendously in the simple steps to regain intimacy in our lives. It was my responsibility to create a change in myself first. That's what I really appreciate about this program."

........................................................

Delight Your Marriage is dedicated to helping married couples discover true intimacy and helping heal emotional, spiritual, and physical intimacy--biblically.

For more than 10 years, through our practical tools, group coaching, and podcast, we have seen hundreds of marriages transformed- from couples who were on their way to signing divorce papers to couples who had pretty good marriages but just wanted to connect more.

We are honored to get to walk alongside men & women as they become who God created them to be and see their marriages transformed in the process.

If you'd like to learn more about us and our programs, please visit https://delightyourmarriage.com/

Want more on-the-go content? Follow us on Facebook & Instagram for insightful clips and marriage coaching insights.

Catch up on the podcast on our YouTube channel or your favorite podcast streaming platform.

Ready to take the leap and do the work to heal your marriage? We'd love to chat with you. Schedule a free Clarity Call here.

Thank you for listening and God bless!