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  • 117. Emotionally Healthy Church Leadership
    2025/04/30

    "Your gifts might open doors in ministry, but your emotional health and family life will determine how long you can stay in the room."

    In this episode, Jason and Lauren Vallotton dive into the crucial (and often overlooked) connection between emotional health, family life, and sustainable ministry. Ministry isn’t just about being gifted—it’s about being grounded. Whether you're a pastor, leader, or someone pursuing a call to serve, this conversation offers a timely reminder: who you are behind closed doors matters more than what you can do on stage.

    💛 Part 1: Emotional Health in Ministry

    • Understanding the integration of body, soul, and spirit
    • Why self-awareness is a superpower in leadership
    • The impact of unresolved grief, resentment, and burnout
    • How emotional intelligence often outlasts platform skills
    • Why ministry tends to trigger unhealed wounds like rejection, people-pleasing, or perfectionism
    • A personal example of how inner healing transformed leadership

    🏠 Part 2: Family Health in Ministry

    • Why the home is the first and most important ministry
    • How ministry should overflow from family health—not compete with it
    • Red flags: when someone feels powerful in ministry but powerless at home
    • Encouragement to realign priorities and strengthen what matters most

    Whether you're just stepping into ministry or you've been leading for years, this episode offers practical wisdom and vulnerable insight into what it really takes to lead with longevity and wholeness.

    📣 Mentioned in this episode:
    Interested in going deeper? Jason’s Pastor’s Cohort is open for enrollment.
    👉 Sign up here

    Patreon
    If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you!

    For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com !

    Connect with Lauren:
    Instagram
    Facebook
    Connect with Jason:
    Jay’s Instagram
    Jay’s Facebook
    BraveCo Instagram
    www.braveco.org


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    25 分
  • 116. How to Connect When it Hurts
    2025/04/24

    "Most people want to reconnect with their spouse—but they don’t know how to hit the mark when emotions are high. They either get defensive, spiral into shame, or shut down. Today, I want to help you learn how to truly connect when it matters most—especially when there’s pain involved."

    In this episode, Jason and Lauren Vallotton break down what happens when emotional disconnection builds over time and how to move toward reconnection with empathy, responsibility, and compassion.

    This episode explores:

    • Why disconnection happens: How unmet needs and unresolved pain quietly widen the emotional gap between partners.
    • The shame spiral: Why shame convinces people they are the problem, and how shifting to personal ownership can restore emotional safety.
    • Empathy, sympathy, and compassion: A practical breakdown of each—and why compassion is the key to repair.
    • A step-by-step guide to reconnection:
      • Get curious, not defensive
      • Listen without fixing
      • Validate and empathize
      • Take ownership
      • Offer a sincere apology

    Final encouragements:

    • For those who’ve been hurt: Give space for ownership—don’t force it, but don’t shrink back either.
    • For those who missed it: Perfection isn’t required, but presence is.

    This episode offers practical steps and real-life insight for any couple looking to reconnect—especially when it matters most.

    Patreon
    If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you!

    For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com !

    Connect with Lauren:
    Instagram
    Facebook
    Connect with Jason:
    Jay’s Instagram
    Jay’s Facebook
    BraveCo Instagram
    www.braveco.org


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    32 分
  • 115. Q&A (Dating with Kids, Conflict in Marriage, Divorce, Newborn Season Tips, Emotional Needs in Marriage)
    2025/04/16

    In this vulnerable and practical Q&A episode, Jason and Lauren tackle some of your most heartfelt questions—from dating dynamics and stepparenting to conflict in marriage and unmet emotional needs.

    With their trademark honesty and experience, they unpack the real stuff of relationships: fear, longing, love, and how to keep showing up even when it’s hard.

    In this episode, the Vallottons respond to questions like:

    • “How do I take dating slow while discerning if I can handle marrying someone with kids?”

    • “Why do I shut down in conflict, and how do I stay present when fear hits?”

    • “I’m walking through divorce and financial fallout—what now?”

    • “Any tips for surviving the newborn season… with our marriage still intact?”

    • “What do I do with my unmet desire for intimacy, pursuit, and emotional connection in marriage?”

    From practical tools to spiritual insight, this episode is full of compassionate, grounded advice for anyone trying to navigate love in a complicated world.

    Whether you’re in the trenches of parenting, learning to love through pain, or just trying to figure out what’s next—this one’s for you.

    Patreon
    If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you!

    For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com !

    Connect with Lauren:
    Instagram
    Facebook
    Connect with Jason:
    Jay’s Instagram
    Jay’s Facebook
    BraveCo Instagram
    www.braveco.org


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    39 分
  • 114. What Happens When a Woman is Forced into Fight or Flight Mode
    2025/04/09

    “She never wanted to fight her husband. But somewhere along the way, she stopped feeling safe—and started showing up in survival mode.”

    In this episode, Jason and Lauren unpack the emotional toll disconnection takes on a woman, especially when she's forced to lead, manage, and defend in her relationship. They explore what masculine energy looks like in a woman, why it’s often a trauma response—not rebellion—and how emotional safety (not control) is the key to restoring connection.

    You’ll hear:

    • A real coaching story of a disconnected couple

    • How a woman feeling safe, seen and known activates connection

    • What healthy masculinity is designed to bring

    • Practical steps to rebuild trust and intimacy

    Patreon
    If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you!

    For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com !

    Connect with Lauren:
    Instagram
    Facebook
    Connect with Jason:
    Jay’s Instagram
    Jay’s Facebook
    BraveCo Instagram
    www.braveco.org


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    36 分
  • 113. Spring Cleaning for the Soul
    2025/04/03

    Spring cleaning isn't just for your closet—what about the things we’ve been carrying in our hearts, homes, and relationships that need a reset?

    In this episode, Jason and Lauren take the idea of spring cleaning beyond junk drawers and cluttered cabinets and dive deep into the unseen spaces of our emotional, relational, and spiritual lives. From the bathroom cabinet that hasn’t been cleaned out in a year to the mental tabs we’ve left open way too long, they explore what it looks like to make space for peace, connection, and growth in every area.

    What You’ll Hear:
    🧠 Emotional & Mental Inventory

    • How unspoken expectations, resentment, and grief can clog up your inner world
    • What decision fatigue and overthinking might be trying to tell you
    • Prompts to help you recognize what you’re still holding onto that you no longer need

    💞 Relationship Reset

    • Signs of relational clutter in marriage, dating, or singleness
    • Are you acting like roommates or partners?
    • How to replace criticism and avoidance with curiosity, gratitude, and fun
    • A powerful question to ask: What’s gotten dusty in our connection that needs tending?

    🙏 Spiritual Alignment

    • Are you going through the motions or truly connecting with God?
    • How to realign your priorities and make space for spiritual renewal

    🧹 A Fresh Start
    Jason and Lauren offer three simple “spring cleaning” actions to bring clarity and freedom:

    1. Have a marriage check-in
    2. Delete digital distractions
    3. Forgive (yes, even that one thing… again)

    Plus, a gentle nudge to revisit those New Year’s goals with fresh eyes and grace.

    Takeaway Question:
    What’s one area—internal, relational, or spiritual—where you want to clear space this season?

    Patreon
    If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you!

    For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com !

    Connect with Lauren:
    Instagram
    Facebook
    Connect with Jason:
    Jay’s Instagram
    Jay’s Facebook
    BraveCo Instagram
    www.braveco.org


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    28 分
  • 112. Rethinking Education with Dr. Tyler Thigpen
    2025/03/27

    The public school system is broken. Too many kids feel left behind, uninspired, and stuck in a one-size-fits-all model that doesn’t prepare them for real life—or real relationships. As a dad and leader, Jason believes we need a radical shift. That’s why he sat down with Dr. Tyler Thigpen, an education innovator, to explore a new approach—one that fosters independence, critical thinking, and emotional intelligence.

    In this episode, Jason and Tyler unpack why the system is failing, what’s working in learner-centered models, and how parents can take the lead. These new environments don’t just teach facts—they shape identity, build resilience, and equip kids for healthy, whole lives.

    If you care about how your kids are learning and growing, this episode is for you. Let’s raise a generation ready for both life and love.

    More about Dr. Thigpen: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thigpentyler/

    Tyler grew up in Georgia and has worked in innovative district, private, and charter schools, as well as statewide and national nonprofits. Tyler is co-founder and CEO of The Forest School: An Acton Academy in Trilith, The Forest School Online, and the Institute for Self-Directed Learning, Academic Director at the University of Pennsylvania Graduate School of Education, and Guest Lecturer at the Harvard Graduate School of Education. Formerly, Tyler was partner at Transcend, a national nonprofit in school redesign, and worked closely on innovative school projects such as nXu, Whittle, The Academy Group, Washington Leadership Academy, Art in Motion, Hebrew Public, Teton Science's Place Network, EL Education, and the Brooklyn STEAM Center.

    Tyler also co-founded MENTOR Georgia, Transforming Teaching at Harvard, and the Chattahoochee Hills Charter School. Earlier, Tyler worked as head of the upper school at The Mount Vernon School in Atlanta, Spanish teacher in Gwinnett County public schools, and minister at the Grace family of churches where he led international development in Peru in areas of healthcare, education, poverty reduction, and infrastructure.

    Tyler holds a doctoral degree in education leadership from Harvard Graduate School of Education, a master’s in public administration from Harvard John F. Kennedy School of Government, and a master’s in theological studies from Regent College of the University of British Columbia. Tyler has written about the future of learning in the Washington Post, Education Week, Atlanta Journal-Constitution, Getting Smart, and others. Tyler lives with his wife and four children, all of whom attended The Forest School, in Trilith, GA.

    Patreon
    If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you!

    For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com !

    Connect with Lauren:
    Instagram
    Facebook
    Connect with Jason:
    Jay’s Instagram
    Jay’s Facebook
    BraveCo Instagram
    www.braveco.org


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    1 時間 1 分
  • 111. Preparing to Launch: Equipping Your High Schooler for Adulthood
    2025/03/19

    Preparing teenagers for adulthood might be the most crucial—and challenging—phase of parenthood. In this candid conversation, The Vallottons explore the essential transition from raising dependent children to launching capable, confident adults.

    When parents focus solely on creating a fun and carefree childhood, they risk raising young adults unprepared for real responsibilities. Drawing from their experiences launching three young adults (now 25, 22, and 20) while still raising younger children, Jason and Lauren share both their successes and the lessons they’ve learned through missteps.

    The key insight? Start early. Children who learn to contribute to family life from a young age develop a sense of capability that serves them well into adulthood. But for those who realize they’ve started later than ideal, Jason and Lauren offer practical strategies for reframing expectations with teenagers—positioning them not as arbitrary rules, but as essential preparation for their future independence.

    This episode includes real-life examples from their own family, including the transformative story of their son who chose to move out one week before high school graduation. Rather than creating distance, this experience strengthened their relationship as he gained a newfound appreciation for the guidance he had once resisted.

    The conversation also delves into the different approaches needed for raising sons versus daughters, teaching emotional regulation, and establishing standards for family interactions. Ultimately, successful parenting isn’t measured by how much children enjoy their childhood, but by how confidently they navigate adulthood.

    Ready to shift your parenting approach from control to coaching? This episode provides the framework to help parents prepare their teenagers for a successful launch into independence.

    💬 Join the conversation on Instagram: @jasonvallotton | @laurenvallotton

    Patreon
    If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you!

    For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com !

    Connect with Lauren:
    Instagram
    Facebook
    Connect with Jason:
    Jay’s Instagram
    Jay’s Facebook
    BraveCo Instagram
    www.braveco.org


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    44 分
  • 110. How Do I Know the Past in the Past?
    2025/03/12

    Everyone has a past, but when it comes to relationships, how can someone be sure it no longer has a hold on their present? Whether in dating or marriage, navigating past mistakes, previous relationships, or personal struggles can be complex. How much should be shared, and when does transparency build trust versus causing unnecessary pain?

    In this episode, Jason and Lauren Vallotton explore the balance between honesty and wisdom, discussing when full disclosure is valuable and when it may not be helpful. They break down how to recognize genuine healing, build trust, and have important conversations about the past in a way that strengthens relationships rather than creates insecurity.

    Key Topics Discussed:

    • How to discern if someone has truly moved on from their past
    • The role of full disclosure in building trust
    • When sharing past mistakes strengthens a relationship versus when it creates unnecessary harm
    • How to navigate difficult conversations about previous relationships, personal struggles, or past wounds
    • Signs of true healing versus patterns that indicate unresolved issues

    Whether preparing for marriage, working through past hurts, or striving to build a foundation of trust, this episode provides insight and practical tools for moving forward in a healthy way.

    Resources Mentioned:

    • Episode 20 - A Plan for Pain, Part 1
    • Episode 21 - A Plan for Pain, Part 2

    For more conversations on relational health, subscribe to Dates, Mates, and Babies with the Vallottons and share this episode with someone who would benefit!


    Patreon
    If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you!

    For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com !

    Connect with Lauren:
    Instagram
    Facebook
    Connect with Jason:
    Jay’s Instagram
    Jay’s Facebook
    BraveCo Instagram
    www.braveco.org


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    36 分