If your marriage feels chaotic, disconnected, or directionless… you’re not alone. In this episode, Jason and Lauren tackle what it looks like when couples are stuck in survival mode—no calendar, no plan, and no unity—and how to get back on the same team.

Jay’s been walking with several couples who feel overwhelmed and out of sync, and in this candid conversation, the Vallottons offer a lifeline of practical tools and fresh perspective to help you move from chaos to clarity.

In this episode, they unpack:

• Why chaos is a symptom, not the root issue
• How to create an ecosystem for your marriage that you’re leading—not one that’s leading you
• The power of living from a shared calendar and shared priorities
• Why independent goals can still flow from a shared vision
• What it takes to build peace, productivity, and purpose in your everyday rhythms

Key questions to ask together:

• What season are we in right now?
• What are our top three shared goals?
• Are we moving toward those goals—together?

🎯 Practical Challenge: Try this for one week

1. Set a Sunday night “calendar + priority” meeting
2. Write down your top 3 shared goals
3. Name one pain point and commit to addressing it with compassion

Don’t let the chaos run the show. Step into leadership together—one week, one goal, one shared step at a time.

Patreon
If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you!

For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com !

Connect with Lauren:
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Connect with Jason:
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Jay’s Facebook
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What does it actually mean to lead your home like a man of God—and why does emotional connection matter just as much as spiritual authority?

In this episode of Dates, Mates & Babies, Jason Vallotton sits down with the legendary Dr. Henry Cloud, bestselling author of Boundaries, to unpack the kind of leadership that builds trust, safety, and lasting love. From marriage and fatherhood to communication and connection, this conversation is packed with wisdom for men and women alike.

Dr. Cloud shares a powerful framework for building a strong home: start with connection, then add boundaries, protection, and healthy communication. Whether you're a man wondering how to lead with both strength and compassion—or a woman longing for safety and partnership—this episode will give you language, hope, and tools to create the kind of marriage that thrives.

Topics We Cover:

• The real role of a husband as a leader
• Why emotional intelligence is key in marriage
• How to create psychological safety in your home
• What to do if connection was never modeled for you growing up
• A practical pathway to becoming a strong, present, emotionally safe man

Whether you're single, dating, married, or parenting together—this episode will help you reimagine leadership in a way that builds legacy.

Connect with Dr. Henry Cloud:
drcloud.com
Instagram
YouTube

Patreon
If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you!

For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com !

Connect with Lauren:
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Connect with Jason:
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In this powerful episode of Dates, Mates, and Babies, Jason and Lauren Vallotton welcome two courageous women: Kirsten Lapp, Executive Director of Northstate Care Clinic, and Lauren Hodgson, a mother of four who walked through an unexpected pregnancy and found hope in the face of overwhelming pressure. This is the second part to a conversation that began in episode 122.

When Lauren discovered she was pregnant with her fourth child, it came as a complete shock. That shock deepened when she learned her baby had Down syndrome. Surrounded by doctors quoting grim statistics and suggesting termination, Lauren found herself in a vulnerable and isolating place—until she connected with Northstate Care Clinic. There, she encountered something radically different: compassion, clarity, and care. All offered freely, without pressure.

Now, 18 months later, Lauren’s daughter Millie is a joyful, thriving little girl. In this deeply honest conversation, the hosts explore the realities women face during a crisis pregnancy, the unique challenges of raising a child with special needs, and the profound impact of having a supportive community.

This episode covers:

• What defines a crisis pregnancy and the pressure many women experience from the medical system and culture
• The emotional and spiritual strength required to say yes to life when fear and uncertainty are loud
• The vital role of Northstate Care Clinic in providing non-judgmental, life-affirming support and resources
• The need for continued after-birth resources, including housing, especially for women without stable home environments
• A unique opportunity for listeners to help Northstate raise $300,000 to close escrow on a permanent home by July 14th

Jason and Lauren share that they are contributing to this campaign and invite their listeners to join them in funding a place of real hope for women in Northern California.

To learn more or to give, visit:
🌐 northstatecareclinic.org
🌱 friendsofnscc.org

Patreon
If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you!

For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com !

Connect with Lauren:
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Connect with Jason:
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www.braveco.org

In this powerful episode, Jason and Lauren Vallotton sit down with Kirsten Lapp, Executive Director of Northstate Care Clinic, to unpack the emotional, spiritual, and practical realities surrounding crisis pregnancy. With empathy and clarity, Kirsten shares what women are really facing in these moments—and how we can all play a part in offering hope.

In this episode, they discuss:

• What defines a crisis pregnancy and why many women find themselves in one
  
• The cultural and social pressures women face—from social media to the healthcare system
  
• Myths and misconceptions about women in these situations
  
• How Northstate Care Clinic provides compassionate care, from the first phone call to long-term support
  
• What empowerment really looks like in the face of fear and uncertainty
  
• A historic opportunity to help NSCC purchase a permanent home across from the local abortion clinic to serve even more women in Northern California

Jason and Lauren also share that JVM is contributing $1,000 to help make this dream a reality—and they invite listeners to partner with them in this mission.

To support the building campaign, learn more, or refer someone in need: Visit friendsofnscc.org !

“We believe every woman deserves to be seen, supported, and strengthened—especially when the stakes feel highest.”

Patreon
If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you!

For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com !

Connect with Lauren:
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Facebook
Connect with Jason:
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Jay’s Facebook
BraveCo Instagram
www.braveco.org

In this powerful episode, Jason and Lauren Vallotton explore the quiet, often unnoticed habit of self-betrayal—the moments when we say “yes” to others while saying “no” to ourselves. Whether it's to avoid conflict, gain approval, or protect a fragile connection, self-abandonment can masquerade as kindness while silently eroding trust, peace, and authenticity.

Jason and Lauren unpack the mindsets that often drive this behavior—like the belief that it's selfish to have needs, or that disappointing others is dangerous. With wisdom, compassion, and real-life stories, they offer a roadmap back to honest boundaries, emotional integrity, and deeper connection with both self and others.

In This Episode, They Discuss:

• What self-betrayal looks like in daily life and relationships
  
  
• How people-pleasing and performance mindsets take root
  
  
• The difference between peacekeeping and true peace
  
  
• Core beliefs that lead to self-abandonment (“If I say no, I’ll be rejected”)
  
  
• Why honoring your limits is essential to relational and spiritual health
  
  
• Practical language and tools to say no with clarity and compassion
  
  

Reflection Questions:

• Where in your life have you been betraying your own needs to keep the peace?
  
  
• What fear is hiding underneath your yes?
  
  
• What would it look like to practice honest, courageous boundaries this week?
  
  

Listen in and be reminded: You don’t have to disappear to be loved. Wholeness begins where self-betrayal ends.

BraveCo Conference Registration - here

BraceCo Gala Registration - here

Patreon
If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you!

For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com !

Connect with Lauren:
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Facebook
Connect with Jason:
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Jay’s Facebook
BraveCo Instagram
www.braveco.org

In this honest and heartfelt Q&A episode, Jason and Lauren answer your real relationship questions—from navigating breakups to leading well in marriage. Whether you're dating, newly married, or wrestling with relational roles, this episode will give you insight, encouragement, and a few powerful reframes.

🔹 What does it mean for a man to promote his wife?
Jason expands on his view that a man’s role is to provide, protect, and promote—and breaks down what it really means to elevate the people in your care.

🔹 "How do I do a breakup well?"
Lauren and Jason offer practical guidance for ending a relationship with honor, clarity, and emotional health—especially when it’s still painful.

🔹 "Can Lauren talk about being someone’s second wife?"
Lauren opens up about what it’s been like to marry a man with a past and how she’s navigated insecurity, redemption, and sacred second chances.

🔹 "My wife is controlling... how do I lead biblically?"
Jason shares a compassionate but convicting perspective on male leadership, emotional safety, and what women really need from their husbands.

🔹 "We’re on a break… how do I move forward?"
For anyone stuck in the “are we or aren’t we” season, Jason and Lauren speak to love, fear, communication breakdowns, and the difference between working through tension and ignoring red flags.

Related resources to check out:

• Ep. 118 – The Role of a Man & the Rite of Passage Our Sons Are Missing
  
  
• Ep. 114 – What Happens When a Woman is Forced into Fight or Flight Mode
  
  
• Foundations of Masculinity Course – Now available for men ready to lead from strength, tenderness, and truth.

👉 Whether you're dating, married, or leading your family, this episode will help you dig deeper, ask better questions, and grow into the man or woman you’re called to be.

Patreon
If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you!

For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com !

Connect with Lauren:
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Facebook
Connect with Jason:
Jay’s Instagram
Jay’s Facebook
BraveCo Instagram
www.braveco.org

“Most of the world is built on the invisible labor of mothers.” In this heartfelt episode, Jason and Lauren Vallotton turn their attention to the sacred, unseen work of motherhood. Picking up where their recent Fatherhood episode left off, they dive into the beauty, burden, and spiritual authority of moms—the ones who so often hold the soul of the home together.

This isn’t a conversation about Pinterest lunches or parenting perfection. It’s an honest look at the emotional, mental, and spiritual load that mothers carry, and the divine calling woven into every unnoticed act of love.

In this episode, they explore:

• More Than a Milestone Tracker: Why motherhood is far more than meal plans and playdates—and what Scripture reveals about its true meaning.
  
  
• The Weight No One Sees: From overstimulation to spiritual burden, Lauren shares stories from her journey through blended family life, miscarriage, and motherhood.
  
  
• The Lie of the Perfect Mom: How culture pressures women to be everything—and why presence is more powerful than perfection.
  
  
• The Spiritual Authority of Moms: The quiet ways mothers set the spiritual tone of the home, and how every unseen act counts in the Kingdom.

With raw vulnerability and deep encouragement, Jason and Lauren remind moms everywhere: You’re not just holding it all together. You’re building something eternal.

Patreon
If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you!

For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com !

Connect with Lauren:
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Facebook
Connect with Jason:
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Jay’s Facebook
BraveCo Instagram
www.braveco.org

In this powerful conversation, Jason and Lauren Vallotton unpack one of the deepest needs of our time: the restoration of godly masculinity. Drawing from personal stories, biblical wisdom, and their experience walking with men and families, they explore why a man’s role in the home matters more than ever—and how the next generation is suffering without clear markers of maturity and initiation.

Whether you're a father, mentor, or just a man asking deeper questions about your purpose, this episode will stir your spirit and point you toward courageous leadership. It’s also an invitation to join the movement at this year’s BraveCo Conference, where men are being called up, healed, and commissioned.

In This Episode:

• Why men matter in the home
  The emotional and spiritual covering fathers provide—and what happens when it's missing.
  
  
• What sons need from their fathers and male mentors
  Identity, blessing, and challenge. The sacred elements of healthy male initiation.
  
  
• The pain of passive or absent masculinity
  How a culture without rites of passage has left young men lost, angry, or apathetic.
  
  
• Stories from the field
  Real moments of breakthrough, father wounds healed, and identity restored at past BraveCo events.
  
  
• Why the BraveCo Conference is different
  It’s not hype—it’s holy. A sacred space where men return to the Father, face their pain, and rise into purpose.

Join the Movement:
The BraveCo Conference isn’t just a weekend event—it’s a call to rise.
Register now for the conference and be part of a movement that’s raising up healthy, whole, and wholehearted men!

Check out more about BraveCo here!

Patreon
If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you!

For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com !

Connect with Lauren:
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Facebook
Connect with Jason:
Jay’s Instagram
Jay’s Facebook
BraveCo Instagram
www.braveco.org