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I've been thinking for a long time about the gendered sociocultural accusation of "too much" that's often directed towards women's behavior, especially how they love and connect to others, and how often this theme appears in romantic stories. This episode is the first in a little series I have planned, talking about female characters in romances who are shamed for being "too much," especially in costume dramas and 19th century romantic novel adaptations. Lena Dunham's fantastic new romantic comedy series is the perfect jumping off point to examine the power this accusation still has today. (I say fluffy about 29 times in this episode, but I won't apologize for being too much.)

https://www.confessionsofaclosetromantic.com

Now this is a good trailer. I'm not one of those Love Actually girls, but I am one of those Notting Hill girls.

Lena Dunham on creating the show Too Much.

A breakdown of one of my favorite scenes in the series.

And the truly jaw-dropping Megan Stalter interview on Stephen Colbert. Or maybe charmingly chaotic? That wig could have its own talk show.

Oh how those corsets, and gender roles, still bind us today.

Some of us are born A Bit Much.

Delightful interview with Lyndsay Rush on NPR's Book of the Day.

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(I'm taking a short break in the next couple of weeks for a road trip with my sweetie. I'll be back soon!)

My journey from a strict religious upbringing to discovering I'm mildly kinky in the right settings, and with the right partner, was quite the revelation. These fascinating, complex stories explore women also discovering their secret desires, vulnerabilities and sexual thrills through consensual BDSM kink. The movies are sometimes titillating, sometimes romantic but always thought-provoking in a way that you don't often see on the big screen.

CW: sexually explicit scenes, and lots of spoilers.

https://www.confessionsofaclosetromantic.com

Whewwww. Hotttt. Even if you weren't interested in kink before, aren't you now?!

"This is all I ever dreamed about—to be used by you."

"While safe kinky play is an excellent forum for navigating and even healing trauma, it’s a harmful stereotype to assume that only “broken” people are drawn to kink." Excellent article by a sex educator about what Babygirl gets right—and wrong—about kink.

"I think the sadomasochistic relationship is a theatrical platform for exploring power dynamics in a relationship, but also you can explore power dynamics with directors and actors...and the fear of performing and putting on a persona which is not you, and being watched." Fascinating glimpse into the creative mind of The Duke of Burgundy writer/director Peter Strickland.

"Exploring kink, even if you’re unsure if you yourself are kinky, can broaden your horizons, enrich your sexual repertoire, and increase tolerance of others..." If you're interested in joining the Erotic Minority, this Vice round up of kinks is a fun primer.

"There is no shame in healing in whatever way feels authentic and cathartic. You are the curator of your sexual script, and it gets to play out in whatever way you find most empowering."

"...if you're not 100% sure monogamy is right for you...I've found a great deal of happiness and freedom so far in taking a more liberal approach to relationships, and am interested to see where it leads." Lovely BDSM model Ariel Anderson talks about being "Not strictly monogamous."

Fascinating discussion with Ariel Anderson and Dr. Kate Lister, who hosts the amazing podcast Betwixt the Sheets: the History of Sex, Scandal & Society.

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This episode from a few years ago is one of my most popular, and since life has been kicking my behind lately, I thought it was a good time to take a breather and forget it all by getting kinky. It's also the episode that best represents my growth as a partner, person and podcaster, all thanks to producing and hosting this show.

I'm working on a new episode about kink and kinky romance inspired by the Nicole Kidman movie Babygirl, so look for that next time. Meanwhile, hope you enjoy this thoroughly non-NSFW throwback episode about "smutty" and kinky romance. (To find the original show notes, visit confessionsofaclosetromantic.com and search for "romance after dark.")

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If you enjoyed this episode, please click share in your podcast app and tell your friends! Thanks for listening!