“If I’m numbing the lows, I’m numbing the highs. And then I’m just in this nothingness.”

Here's the thing about alcohol: So many of us use it to numb the lows, but alcohol isn't a precision numbing agent. What does that mean? That while it can be useful to deal with the valleys, it also keeps you from enjoying the peaks.

That’s exactly how Sarah Zanotti describes the trap alcohol created in her life. Sarah is an actress, filmmaker, songwriter, and content creator you’ve probably seen in sketches with John Crist. But beneath the laughs is a story of drunk driving, OCD, eating disorders, and a desperate search for control that nearly cost her everything.

In this conversation, Sarah gets brutally honest about the night she drove drunk with her niece, why that wasn’t even her rock bottom, and the voice of God that told her: “The person you want to be can’t take alcohol with her.” She talks about why grace became more addicting than alcohol, how creativity was reborn in recovery, and what it means to live in peace instead of constant performance.

We explore:

—Sarah’s creative journey from Berklee to Nashville to filmmaking
—How OCD, religious scrupulosity, and eating disorders shaped her story
—Driving drunk with her niece in the backseat and why that wasn’t rock bottom
—Why addiction often grows out of perfectionism and control
—How alcohol felt like instant relief but robbed her of real peace
—The moment she realized, “the person I want to be can’t take alcohol with her”
—Learning to sit with uncomfortable emotions instead of running from them
—How sobriety rebirthed her creativity and music career
—What her relationship with God looks like now—less careful, more honest
—Why the biggest lie is believing we’re separate from God

Instagram: @sarahzanotti

Film: The Unraveling (available on Amazon)

Music: Sobering

Follow Jon: @jonseidl

Order the new book, Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic: www.christianalcoholic.com.

Watch this episode and get daily motivation: www.theveritasdaily.com

Support the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/

Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

“Forgiveness is not the goal of salvation. Fellowship with God is the goal of salvation.”

Think about that for a second. I had to. That’s how Kyle Worley reframes the Gospel in his new book, Home with God. And at first glance, it may seem...odd. Because so many of us think salvation is mainly about getting our sins forgiven so we can go to heaven. But Kyle rightly blows that up. Instead, he explains that forgiveness is just the doorway. The real point of salvation is life with God, not just in the future but here and now.

In other words, life is about abiding with Christ. And as I've come to find out, that is crucial to recovering from any addiction.

In this conversation, Kyle—pastor, theologian, and author—helps us rethink salvation, grace, and identity. We talk about why forgiveness isn’t the finish line, why grace feels so disruptive, and how union with Christ resets the “broken compass” of our desires. If you’ve ever wondered what it really means to be saved, or felt like you were stuck chasing performance, this episode will reframe the story: salvation is about coming home.

Again and again and again.

We explore:

—Why salvation is about fellowship, not just forgiveness
—How identity in Christ reshapes recovery and freedom
—The difference between behavior change and true transformation
—Why grace feels disruptive and hard to receive
—How Kyle counsels addicts through union with Christ
—The “broken compass” of desire and how Christ reorients it
—Faith as agreement, affection, and allegiance
—How attention and desire shape the people we become
—Why repentance is more than reflection
—The Heidelberg Catechism and the comfort of not belonging to yourself

Books: Home with God and Formed for Fellowship

Website: kyleworley.net

Newsletter: Sacred Slang

Instagram: @kyleworley

Podcast: Knowing Faith

Follow Jon: @jonseidl

Order the new book, Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic: www.christianalcoholic.com.

Watch this episode and get daily motivation: www.theveritasdaily.com

Support the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/

Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

“There’s a part of you that drinks and a part of you that doesn’t—and that doesn’t make you crazy. That makes you human.”

What happens when your faith says one thing and your actions say another? And what do you do when the coping mechanisms that once helped you survive start controlling you? That’s where today’s conversation lives—right in the messy space where faith and psychology meet, and it answers the question, "Why do I do the things I don't want to do?"

Dr. Alison Cook is a Christian therapist and the author of two incredible books that were monumental in my own addiction recovery: Boundaries for Your Soul and I Shouldn’t Feel This Way.

In this episode of "Confessions," Alison talks about how parts of ourselves can be both hurting and helping, how to hold compassion without coddling, cognitive dissonance, and why curiosity—not shame—is what truly leads to transformation. We also explore spiritual bypassing, the New Testament idea of sozo (salvation/healing), and how Internal Family Systems (IFS) helps us make sense of the parts of us that manage, protect, and sometimes reach for the “firehose” when pain flares up.

If you’ve ever been disgusted by your own actions, but are ready to stop beating yourself up, you'll want to listen.

We explore:

—Why Christians often experience cognitive dissonance but don’t know how to name it
—What Internal Family Systems (IFS) is and how it helps you understand yourself
—How to tell the difference between healthy coping and numbing
—The concept of “firefighters,” “managers,” and “exiles” inside your internal system
—Why spiritual bypassing is so common in the church
—How trauma gets buried and drives our behavior
—What Scripture really means by “salvation” (sozo)
—The link between addiction and unprocessed pain
—Why medication can be a gift of common grace
—How Jacob’s limp and new name point to a holy, healed identity

Books: Boundaries for Your Soul and I Shouldn't Feel This Way

Website: dralisoncook.com

Instagram: @dralisoncook

Podcast: The Best of You

Follow Jon: @jonseidl

Order the new book, Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic: www.christianalcoholic.com.

Watch this episode and get daily motivation: www.theveritasdaily.com

Support the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/

Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.