
Why You Do What You Don't Want to Do: Cognitive Dissonance, Parts Work, and the Power of Curiosity with Dr. Alison Cook (Episode 17)
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“There’s a part of you that drinks and a part of you that doesn’t—and that doesn’t make you crazy. That makes you human.”
What happens when your faith says one thing and your actions say another? And what do you do when the coping mechanisms that once helped you survive start controlling you? That’s where today’s conversation lives—right in the messy space where faith and psychology meet, and it answers the question, "Why do I do the things I don't want to do?"
Dr. Alison Cook is a Christian therapist and the author of two incredible books that were monumental in my own addiction recovery: Boundaries for Your Soul and I Shouldn’t Feel This Way.
In this episode of "Confessions," Alison talks about how parts of ourselves can be both hurting and helping, how to hold compassion without coddling, cognitive dissonance, and why curiosity—not shame—is what truly leads to transformation. We also explore spiritual bypassing, the New Testament idea of sozo (salvation/healing), and how Internal Family Systems (IFS) helps us make sense of the parts of us that manage, protect, and sometimes reach for the “firehose” when pain flares up.
If you’ve ever been disgusted by your own actions, but are ready to stop beating yourself up, you'll want to listen.
We explore:
—Why Christians often experience cognitive dissonance but don’t know how to name it
—What Internal Family Systems (IFS) is and how it helps you understand yourself
—How to tell the difference between healthy coping and numbing
—The concept of “firefighters,” “managers,” and “exiles” inside your internal system
—Why spiritual bypassing is so common in the church
—How trauma gets buried and drives our behavior
—What Scripture really means by “salvation” (sozo)
—The link between addiction and unprocessed pain
—Why medication can be a gift of common grace
—How Jacob’s limp and new name point to a holy, healed identity
Books: Boundaries for Your Soul and I Shouldn't Feel This Way
Website: dralisoncook.com
Instagram: @dralisoncook
Podcast: The Best of You
Follow Jon: @jonseidl
Order the new book, Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic: www.christianalcoholic.com.
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