Recently, I had the chance to sit down with my personal “Substack Oprah”—Aidan Wharton—the very gay and very brilliant author behind Gay Buffet, one of Substack’s leading hubs for gay wisdom, life, and culture.

Aidan, a modern-day homosexual Carrie Bradshaw, has been a huge inspiration to me since I first started on this platform. We’ve interacted almost daily (or at least weekly) for months now, and it was well overdue for us to finally sit down—coffee in hand, Zoom open—and have a real, heart-to-heart conversation.

In this episode, we talk about:

* how Aidan got started with his grounding publication

* why connection is so important

* the intention behind Gay Buffet

* the weirdness of being a social media persona with real-life friends

* reframing challenges into opportunities for gratitude

* his beautiful wedding

* his daily check-in ritual with his husband

* and, of course, the excitement around open relationships and gay sex

Watch or listen to our conversation—and make sure to subscribe to Aidan’s phenomenal Substack here!

You can also find him on Instagram.

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In this powerful conversation, I sit down with adult entertainer, retreat facilitator, and my dear friend Dillon Diaz to explore the intersections of sexuality, shame, and self-discovery.

Dillon opens up about his journey from introvert to performer, the liberation he found in adult work, and how courage, energy, and presence shape his life today.

We dive into:

* How retreats, tantra, and workshops mirror our own growth

* The liberation that comes with sexual authenticity and owning your story

* Navigating body image, aging, and shame in a sex-driven culture

* The balance between persona and self, performance and presence

* Why sexiness isn’t a look — it’s an energy

If you’ve ever struggled with shame, body image, or owning your sexual energy, this episode will hit home.

Join the SHAMELESS Discord group to connect with a community for gay men committed to releasing shame, embracing authenticity, and reclaiming their sexual power.

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What happens when you strip away every story, expectation, and social script — and ask, “Who the fuck am I really?”

In this soul-shaking episode, I sit down with one of my personal heroes and coaches, Tamara Driskell, to explore her powerful concept of radical autonomy — and how it transforms the way we navigate consensual non-monogamy, love, freedom, and emotional connection.

We dive into:

* Why radical autonomy is the root of who we are — and what that actually means

* How to honor your own truth while loving someone who walks a different path

* The fears, triggers, and freedom that show up when your partner chooses differently than you

* How non-monogamy invites you to grow the hell up emotionally, spiritually, and relationally

* The reality that deep intimacy requires free choice, not control

* Daily practices and questions that keep your relationships alive, not just intact

This is one of the most meaningful conversations I’ve ever had — and I’m not sugarcoating that.

If you're ready to explore love, autonomy, desire, and radical honesty on a whole new level, press play now.

Let’s fucking go.

Explore more of Tamara’s work and get to know her here. Follow her on IG and all the socials!

Relational freedom starts with self-acceptance.

Join the SHAMELESS Discord group to connect with a community for gay men committed to releasing shame, embracing authenticity, and reclaiming their sexual power.

In this episode, I sit down with soul initiator and shadow work coach Dr. Mike Simmons (aka Shadow Mike) for a raw and unfiltered dive into the intersection of shadow work and non-monogamy — and what it reveals about the parts of us we’ve been avoiding.

We talk about:

* What shadow work actually is — beyond the buzzwords

* How non-monogamy can surface deep, hidden insecurities around worth and identity

* My personal journey navigating hierarchical polyamory and the hidden beliefs it’s forced me to confront

* Why the goal isn’t to “fix” the shadow, but to integrate it

* How monogamy, religion, and heteronormativity shape what we think we deserve — and how to break free

This conversation isn’t just about relationship structures. It’s about truth-telling, personal liberation, and facing the places we’ve been told to fear.

If you’ve ever wondered whether your relationship style is helping you evolve or holding you hostage, this one’s for you.

Check out more of Dr. Mike’s work at shadowmike.com and follow him on Substack, YouTube, and Patheos.

Join the SHAMELESS Discord group to connect with a community for gay men committed to releasing shame, embracing authenticity, and reclaiming their sexual power.

A couple weeks ago, I had a session with my badass coach, Tamara Driskell. I knew it would be powerful — so I asked to hit record.

I wanted to talk about death.

The night before, I did a visualization exercise where I saw my own death. I saw the moment of my last breath. I saw where I was. And in that moment… I realized everything was okay.

And to borrow Tamara’s language: Facing death gave me permission to finally live.

This episode is raw, intimate, and one of the most transformative conversations I’ve had.

Listen in — and when you’re done, go devour Tamara’s Substack and her work. Her coaching is soul-shifting.

Powerful as hell.

Join the SHAMELESS Discord group to connect with a community for gay men committed to releasing shame, embracing authenticity, and reclaiming their sexual power.

We might think of pleasure as an “extra.”

For many of us who are working on healing sexual shame, our shame-based backgrounds (i.e. religious households, conservative upbringings, judgmental communities, etc.) likely taught us that pleasure wasn’t necessary.

Thus, when we start to give ourselves permission to experience pleasure, we can feel guilt, often like we are doing something wrong, doing something that’s going against our inner beliefs and our childhood hard-wiring.

This Substack is reader-supported. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Check out this quick video for a reframe on why pleasure is not only powerful but why it is a necessary part of healing — and connection to ourselves and others.

Comment below how you are going to be practicing and prioritizing pleasure today — I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Sending you much love,Coach Kevin

Join the SHAMELESS Discord group to connect with a community for gay men committed to releasing shame, embracing authenticity, and reclaiming their sexual power.

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Communication is at the heart of every healthy relationship.

It’s how you express your feelings, understand your partner, and work through challenges. Yet, many people struggle with listening fully or expressing their needs without fear or frustration.

Most of us were not taught how to communicate in relationships — especially not queer ones. We were taught to hide, to filter, to perform. So when it comes to expressing a need, holding a boundary, or just feeling safe enough to say “I’m not okay right now,” it’s no wonder so many of us freeze, lash out, or shut down.

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But communication isn’t just about talking.

It’s about safety. Power. Connection. Intimacy.

It’s how we build trust, repair rupture, and let our partners in — not just into our beds, but into our hearts.

Here’s what you really need to know if you want to create more connected, empowered, and hot-as-hell relationships:

Active Listening Is a Turn-On

Yes, it’s hot to be heard. But really listening isn’t passive — it’s a practice of presence. It’s choosing to stay with someone instead of jumping ahead to what you want to say next.

Try this:

* Maintain eye contact — not to intimidate, but to see them.

* Reflect what you hear: “It sounds like you’re feeling...” or “I hear you saying…”

* Resist the urge to fix. Listening isn’t solving — it’s holding.

When someone feels seen, they soften. When they soften, connection deepens. That’s where the intimacy begins.

Use ‘I’ Statements Like a Boss

We’ve all heard it: “Use ‘I’ statements.” But here’s the real power — they move you out of blame and into truth.

Instead of:

“You never listen to me.”Try:“I feel dismissed when I don’t feel heard.”

One opens a door. The other slams it.

When you own your feelings, you invite your partner into your experience instead of making them defend themselves against it.

Clarity Is Sexy: Check for Understanding

Miscommunication kills connection. So stop assuming, and start checking in.

Try:

“Just so I’m hearing you right — you’re saying that when I don’t text back, it feels like I’m pulling away?”

This isn’t about repeating their words like a robot — it’s about showing you care enough to get it right. When you seek clarity, you offer safety. That’s what allows people to show up more fully and honestly.

As Brené Brown says, “Clear is kind, unclear is unkind.” One of my favorite quotes.

Practice: The Intentional Communication Exercise

Here’s a tool that changes the game — especially for couples (monogamous or not) who keep circling the same conflict without resolution.

The 5/5 Rule:

* Set a timer for 5 minutes.

* Person A shares thoughts, feelings, and experiences on a specific topic (no interruptions).

* Person B listens only — then summarizes what they heard.

* No advice. No fixing. Just reflection.

* Switch roles.

Do this once a week and watch how your relationship shifts. You’ll begin to feel more seen, more safe, and more in it together.

Final Truth:

If you're not communicating intentionally, you're just reacting.

And reacting from fear, shame, or past wounds? That’s how you repeat patterns instead of creating the relationships you actually crave.

You deserve more than surface-level connection.

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You deserve to be met in your truth, heard in your wholeness, and loved without shrinking.

Communication is the gateway to that.

So open the damn door.