Two weeks in a row! Jen made it through a whole episode, mostly, and only got mad about the cruise she isn't going on. Trevor is one week from check-in, Tom did not post Flat Jen, and there are consequences coming for that.

John Heald had to remind everyone on Facebook that crew members are not permitted to accept homemade food — sealed and packaged is fine, mystery Tupperware is not — and the crew debates whether this is a health-code thing or a those brownies were loaded thing. He also addressed the rumor about Guy's Burger Joint extending hours, which is currently a test on Carnival Conquest only. Princess is now charging for the Medallion to be mailed to you, though there's a free option at the terminal they'd prefer you forget. Carnival is partnering with Sneaker Impact to give the roughly 50,000 pairs of shoes guests leave behind each year to communities that need footwear — with worn-out pairs ground down and turned into yoga mats — which immediately becomes a plan to fill a backpack at Goodwill before the Jubilee.

The hard news: a joint task force has removed dozens of crew members across multiple ships at U.S. ports of entry this year over child sexual abuse material found during device and quarter searches — 11 in Boston in August, 27 detained in San Diego earlier this year, and more in San Juan. Most were processed as immigration removals rather than federal charges, which raises real questions about how international crew are vetted through third-party labor agencies. We handle it straight.

Also: a debarkation fight caught on what were almost certainly Meta glasses, filmed by someone simultaneously reading their credit card number aloud; guests stranded ashore in Cabo for three hours when a tropical storm shut down tendering; and a nine-day river cruise from Tulsa to Memphis launching in 2029 at $5,200 per person, which Trevor priced out at roughly five Carnival cruises.

This week we also lost Dolly Parton and Tim Curry. Jen said it best.

23 days to FRGC4. 124 days to the Panama Canal.

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Anything you do or say on a ship will remain forever.

Jen's back from jury duty, which she insists was more important than this show (it was), and she has strong opinions about a burrito in downtown Stockton. In her absence, Trevor and Tom recorded an episode with seven guests — John Heald, Britney Spears, Taylor Swift, Dog the Bounty Hunter — and then refused to release it out of spite. You'll have to take their word for it.

On the actual news desk: Princess is moving final payment on longer sailings from 90 days out to 120, with deposits climbing to $250 for standard staterooms ($500 per person on 10-plus-day sailings) and the cancellation schedule shifting so a 100% fee kicks in at 60 days instead of 30 — and the crew debates whether Carnival and Royal follow suit. Carnival's Elegant Night is being swapped for White Hot Night on select cruises of five days or less, which Tom explains and Trevor immediately makes weird. And on August 17th, Carnival Valor made an emergency maneuver on the Mississippi to avoid a cargo ship that had lost power in the channel — dumping water out of the pool at four in the morning and causing minor injuries. Unconfirmed reports suggest Vin Diesel was at the helm.

Also discussed: a Miami jury finding Carnival 60% at fault and awarding $300,000 to a California nurse who was served 14 shots of tequila before falling down a staircase; the boys' weight loss check-in (22 pounds and 33 pounds, respectively); an office dog who became Trevor's best friend for the price of one piece of beef jerky; and Jesse's listener question about FRGC4 plans — cabanas at Celebration Key, and yes, embarkation day is Talk Like a Pirate Day, with the Galveston Pirate Festival the night before. Bring your colander.

31 days to FRGC4. 379 days to FRGC5.

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Anything you do or say on a ship will remain forever.

Jen's back! After a Day One that ended with a Cartman GIF and a "screw you guys, I'm going home," the Golden Crew is finally three-strong again — and immediately gets distracted by Christmas trees in August, a heart-having cat named Flinty, and Trevor's alleged palace of multiple living rooms.

Then, actual cruise news: Carnival Pride is testing Jotun's Hull Skater, a robot that crawls the ship's hull scraping off slime and barnacles (basically a Roomba with a job, and the crew has thoughts about adding a saw). Norwegian reveals Great Tides Water Park at Great Stirrup Cay — 19 water slides, the Caribbean's only four-person body slide, and Cliffside Cove with 10- and 15-foot jumps, welcoming its first guests September 4th. Bare Necessities brings the Big Nude Boat back to PortMiami in February 2027 aboard Norwegian Jewel: 11 days, zero tan lines, towels mandatory on all surfaces. And at Perfect Day at CocoCay, a forklift and a departing Wonder of the Seas had a disagreement that ended with a gangway at the bottom of the ocean — sparking a full business plan involving magnet fishing, retirement in Key West, and reselling gangways at a premium.

Also: hook magnets are the real MVP of an Alaska cruise, and Alaska is somehow 80 degrees right now.

43 days to FRGC4. 393 days to FRGC5.

🌐 cruisepodcastaways.com
👥 Join the Facebook group: "The Podcastaways"
🛳️ FRGC5 — Yes, YOU are family. Cults can have families too! → cruisepodcastaways.com/frgc5
📞 Book with Amanda Barmore / Have Luggage Will Travel: booking@hlwtravel.com | (318) 237-0998 | facebook.com/HaveLuggage.WillTravel.LLC

Anything you do or say on a ship will remain forever.