It is Steve’s birthday, it is nearly Jen’s birthday, and it is the tenth anniversary of the bachelor party where Trevor met a guy named Ralph in a casino bathroom. It is also the week Jen’s computer decided to overheat, freeze, zoom in to unflattering HD, and restart, which she accepted with more grace than any of this deserved.

Carnival announced that starting December 1st, standalone beverage packages and Wi-Fi plans move to dynamic pricing — prices will vary by sailing length, itinerary, and season, which means the price your friend posted online is not necessarily your price. Announced alongside it: FunPacks, new bundles pitching up to 55% off when you combine drinks and Wi-Fi. The crew called the strategy correctly before anyone read the press release: the standalone prices float, the bundles are the funnel. They also have questions nobody has answered yet, like what happens if the package you booked a year out gets cheaper, and whether individual drink prices are next.

Carnival is also halving its Australian fleet. Carnival Luminosa makes her final Sydney departure March 15th, 2028, and Carnival Adventure follows on the 20th and will not return — reporting points to cost and regulatory uncertainty in the market. Splendor and Encounter stay year-round from Sydney. The crew, having no other suspects, blames Tim.

In the news desk’s weirder half: a man returning to Port Tampa Bay from Cozumel was arrested after 545 pills and roughly $27,000 in cash turned up in his luggage — pills and cash he had voluntarily written down on a customs declaration form. And a 44-year-old passenger who went overboard from Odyssey of the Seas in the Ionian Sea was found alive roughly 20 hours later, spotted by a passing cargo ship because of the flashing light on her life jacket — the one piece of muster-drill equipment nobody pays attention to. She was taken for medical and psychological evaluation.

Plus: the craziest souvenirs they’ve smuggled home, including a stone dagger that doesn’t read as metal; Tim calls in twice, once from the Ocean Plaza with a Bloody Mary and once from the steakhouse with a cowboy ribeye, purely so we’d know; the elusive ship-on-a-stick that none of them have ever won; an elephant sanctuary in Hugo, Oklahoma that will wake you up personally; and Trevor’s confident explanation of which country uses the metric system, which Tom disclaims in real time.

74 days until Jen heads for the Panama Canal.

🌐 cruisepodcastaways.com
🎙️ Leave us a voice message: speakpipe.com/carnivalcruisingpodcastaways
👥 Join the Facebook group: “The Podcastaways”
🛳️ FRGC5 — Yes, YOU are family. Cults can have families too! → cruisepodcastaways.com/frgc5
📞 Book with Amanda Barmore / Have Luggage Will Travel: booking@hlwtravel.com | (318) 237-0998 | facebook.com/HaveLuggage.WillTravel.LLC

Anything you do or say on a ship will remain forever.