Many people with anxiety get stuck in a victim mindset — a way of seeing life where outside forces determine how things are. In this episode, we explore why that mindset fuels anxiety and how a shift toward feeling powerful can help you move out of threat mode. Learn how small, intentional acts done from an approach mindset can raise your baseline happiness and help you exit anxiety-driven patterns. This episode invites you to rethink power — and to recognize that you are already shaping other people’s stories, whether you realize it or not.

You’ll learn:

• How the victim mindset is linked to the brain’s threat response
• Why anxiety flourishes when we feel passive and immobilized
• The difference between giving from avoidance vs approach
• How kindness, attention, and generosity restore a sense of agency
• Why ordinary people often have extraordinary power over others
• How small acts of intentional influence can change your emotional baseline

Timestamps:

00:30 – The victim mindset and anxiety
01:57 – Victim mindset and the threat response
03:44 – Discovering your power through influencing others
08:01 – Giving from avoidance vs giving from approach motivation
10:53 – The power of a homeless man
12:21 – Feeling powerful even when physically limited
13:29 – How kindness increases your baseline happiness
15:39 – Summary of key points: how to exit victim mode

For full shownotes, including resources mentioned, go to: https://www.calmyourcaveman.com/episodes/when-you-feel-powerless-and-stuck-in-victim-anxiety

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Most of us assume we’d feel happier and more in control if life came with more certainty — predictable outcomes, fewer surprises, and fewer unknowns. But decades of psychology research say the opposite: uncertainty can actually increase joy, meaning, and wellbeing. If the unpredictable triggers anxiety for you, this episode will help you build a healthier, more empowered relationship with the unknown — one that supports resilience, happiness, and personal growth.

We’ll explore:
• Why your brain thinks certainty = safety, but psychology says otherwise
• How uncertainty enhances positive emotions and pleasure
• How to reframe uncertainty from a “threat” into a “resource”

⏱️ Timestamps
00:30 — Why we crave certainty
01:08 — Research: uncertainty increases positive feelings
02:09 — Olympic athletes & the joy of surprise
03:06 — The silver dollar study: when mystery boosts happiness
04:19 — Why certainty can rob us of pleasure
05:18 — Why removing uncertainty removes growth
07:43 — Deepak Chopra on joyful uncertainty
08:10 — How to reframe uncertainty as a resource

For full shownotes, including resources mentioned, go to: https://www.calmyourcaveman.com/episodes/embracing-uncertainty-without-anxiety

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💌 Share your kindness narrative for a future episode!

• Email your story (written or audio) to calmyourcaveman@gmail.com or
• DM me on Instagram @CalmYourCaveman.

Can you train your brain to handle stress better? Absolutely. In this episode, we
break down the science of self-efficacy — your brain’s belief about your ability to
succeed under stress. This belief is one of the biggest predictors of resilience,
performance, and emotional wellbeing.
You’ll learn how to shift from a threat response (anxiety, overwhelm, shutdown) to a challenge response (focus, energy, confidence), and how simple everyday practices can rewire your stress response over time.

In this episode:

— How to turn obstacles into resources
— How values-based action lowers the pressure of life’s demands
— How attainable + measurable goals rewire your stress response
— Three proven tools to build a brain that believes “I can handle this”

⏱️ Timestamps
00:30 — Why stress depends on interpretation, not circumstances
02:53 — What self-efficacy is
03:56 — Technique #1: Turn demands into resources via curiosity
07:10 — Technique #2: Why values instantly shrink the “demands”
09:58 — Technique #3: Setting attainable, measurable goals
13:57 — Recap: The 3-step formula for building a challenge mindset

For full shownotes, including resources mentioned, go to: https://www.calmyourcaveman.com/episodes/how-to-train-your-brain-to-handle-stress-better

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💌 Share your kindness narrative for a future episode!

• Email your story (written or audio) to calmyourcaveman@gmail.com or
• DM me on Instagram @CalmYourCaveman.

Ever feel like your work is… just blah? In today’s episode, we explore three science-backed strategies to transform even the most mundane work into something meaningful, interesting, and motivating. Drawing on research from psychologist Todd Kashdan and the science of curiosity, you’ll learn easy, doable ways to change your emotional experience at work, increase wellbeing, boost focus, and make your daily tasks feel lighter instead of suffocating. #curiosity #motivation #meaningfulwork #wellbeing #anxietytools

⏱️ Timestamps
00:30 — Why safety + growth are both essential for wellbeing at work
01:57 — Strategy #1: Look for novelty in the familiar
07:00 — Strategy #2: Add challenge or “gamify” the task
10:15 — Strategy #3: Connect work to your values (your “why”)
13:36 — Recap: 3 ways to transform mundane tasks

For full shownotes, including resources mentioned, go to: https://www.calmyourcaveman.com/episodes/how-to-stop-hating-your-work

🌐 https://www.calmyourcaveman.com/

💌 Share your kindness narrative for a future episode!

• Email your story (written or audio) to calmyourcaveman@gmail.com or
• DM me on Instagram @CalmYourCaveman.

🌐 https://www.calmyourcaveman.com/

💌 Share your kindness narrative for a future episode!

• Email your story (written or audio) to calmyourcaveman@gmail.com or
• DM me on Instagram @CalmYourCaveman.

Can long-term love really stay exciting, vibrant, and surprising — even decades in? The answer from global wellbeing research is a clear yes. In this episode we dig into the science behind what keeps long-term relationships emotionally alive, deeply connected, and resilient over time.

You’ll learn:
✨ The two strongest predictors of daily wellbeing,
✨ Why great relationships need both security and growth
✨ Three science-backed habits that help couples stay curious, connected, and fulfilled for decades

If you’ve ever wondered how to avoid the “seven-year itch,” reignite passion, or strengthen your bond, this episode offers practical, research-based tools you can start using today.

⏱️ Timestamps
00:30 — Why people believe long-term love fades
01:02 — What 130,000 people taught researchers about wellbeing
02:28 — The two psychological needs that shape all relationships: security and growth
03:35 — How long-term couples keep relationships alive
04:43 — The first habit: Seeing your partner as a “foreign country”
09:25 — The second habit: Doing new things together
10:58 — The third habit: Adding new variables (other people, situations)
12:35 — Summary: Bringing security + learning into relationships
14:55 — Kindness narrative: a neighbor reaches out

For full shownotes, including resources mentioned, go to: https://www.calmyourcaveman.com/episodes/how-to-stay-in-love-for-the-long-haul

🌐 https://www.calmyourcaveman.com/

💌 Share your kindness narrative for a future episode!

• Email your story (written or audio) to calmyourcaveman@gmail.com or
• DM me on Instagram @CalmYourCaveman.

Do your goals ever feel so big that you end up not taking any action at all? In this episode, we break down how to turn your values into action — with three simple questions that make your goals actually doable. Learn how to stop drifting, avoid overwhelm, and start moving in the direction that matters most to you — one small, realistic step at a time. You don’t have to reach the destination to feel fulfilled — the progress itself changes your brain, boosts resilience, and reduces anxiety.

We’ll walk through:

• Why small, easy steps matter more than big leaps
• How to use the “3-step goal-setting method” to keep momentum
• What to do when discomfort shows up on your way toward growth
• Why meaningful goals—not perfect ones—lead to lasting wellbeing

🕒 Timestamps

00:30 — Why living by your values changes everything
02:44 — From values to action: the benefits of making tiny goals
04:43 — The biggest mistake people make when setting goals
05:53 — “Mike” applies the 3 questions that turn values into momentum
08:33 — What to do when discomfort shows up
10:16 — The 3 questions to make your goals work for your peace of mind
11:58 — Kindness narrative: A librarian’s lasting impact

For full shownotes, including resources mentioned, go to: https://www.calmyourcaveman.com/episodes/three-steps-to-fix-overwhelming-goals

🌐 https://www.calmyourcaveman.com/

💌 Share your kindness narrative for a future episode!

• Email your story (written or audio) to calmyourcaveman@gmail.com or
• DM me on Instagram @CalmYourCaveman.

Looking for happiness in all the wrong places? This episode introduces three clear rules that expose where most of us get stuck when we try to find fulfillment. Through vivid coaching stories and examples, Adriana shows how to uncover what truly drives you and why aligning your actions with your values brings peace, meaning, and resilience — even when goals feel far away.

You’ll learn:

• Why the values that truly sustain happiness are actions, not feelings
• How to spot “dead person goals” that masquerade as values
• How to reclaim agency when your happiness depends on what other people do

Timestamps

00:30 — Why happiness fades when we chase feelings.
02:29 — Rule #1: Values are actions, not emotions (Eva’s story).
05:15 — Rule #2: Values are for the living, not “dead person goals” (David’s story).
07:30 — Rule #3: Values are what you do, not what others do (Mike’s story).
08:59 — Direction vs. destination: the “heading west” metaphor.
10:34 — Viktor Frankl and meaning in tragedy.
11:27 — Why focus — not circumstance — defines happiness.
14:15 — Kindness narrative: Help from a neighbor.

For full shownotes, including resources mentioned, go to: https://www.calmyourcaveman.com/episodes/the-3-rules-of-real-fulfillment

🌐 https://www.calmyourcaveman.com/

💌 Share your kindness narrative for a future episode!

• Email your story (written or audio) to calmyourcaveman@gmail.com or
• DM me on Instagram @CalmYourCaveman.

You can’t out-think your emotions — but you can change your relationship with them. In this episode, I share a simple exercise that helps you stop fighting uncomfortable feelings and start making space for them instead. Pursuing a meaningful life doesn’t mean you’ll feel good all the time, it means learning to coexist with discomfort without letting it control you. This episode will show you how calm starts not by pushing feelings away, but by welcoming them home.

Key insights:

• Every emotion in you is a child. Some loud, some quiet. None of them deserves to be cast out
• Chronic emotions are just feelings that never got permission to pass
• You don’t have to like your feelings. You just have to make room for them.

Timestamps

00:30 — Why a meaningful life includes uncomfortable emotions.
01:51 — Writing exercise: listing and acknowledging all the emotional “children.”
05:31 — Why rejecting emotions makes them stronger and more dominant.
07:25 — Kindness narrative: Gifts from an architect.

For full shownotes, including resources mentioned, go to: https://www.calmyourcaveman.com/episodes/parent-your-feelings-dont-punish-them

Submit Your Kindness Narrative:

• Share a moment of kindness that moved you or changed you.
• Email your story (written or audio) to calmyourcaveman@gmail.com or
• DM me on Instagram @CalmYourCaveman.

🌐 https://www.calmyourcaveman.com/

💌 Share your kindness narrative for a future episode!

• Email your story (written or audio) to calmyourcaveman@gmail.com or
• DM me on Instagram @CalmYourCaveman.