Adult kids = adult worries. If you’ve been stuck in an anxiety loop, today’s episode is your lifeline.

What You'll Learn:
•Why parenting adult children can trigger more anxiety than other stages
•Four mindset shifts to focus on when worry strikes
•A simple writing exercise to reframe parental anxiety
•How to trust your children’s journey—even when it looks messy

Timestamps:
[00:00:30] – Parenting adult children and anxiety traps
[00:02:57] – Shifting focus: What kind of parent do I want to be?
[00:05:11] – Transitioning from "problem solver" to "observer"
[00:08:31] – Exercise: Rewriting anxious narratives into trusting stories
[00:11:46] – Mistakes as a parent: Repair, commitment, and resilience
[00:12:47] – Conclusion: Investing in what you can control
[00:15:05] – Today's Kindness Narrative: A math teacher’s lasting impact

For full episode, including resources mentioned, go to: https://www.calmyourcaveman.com/episodes/when-you-can't-fix-it:-four-ways-to-calm-anxiety-about-adult-children

Share Your Story:
Send your Kindness Narrative (audio or written) to:
•Email: CalmYourCaveman@gmail.com
•Instagram DM: @CalmYourCaveman
(You can stay completely anonymous if you prefer!)

Music:
J.S. Bach, Goldberg Variations, Transcribed for String Trio (excerpts). Performed by Avery Ensemble live 12/2/2017. Used by permission.
Harmonia Artificioso-Ariosa, Partita No. 4 in E flat Major (excerpts). Performed by the Avery Ensemble, recorded 2017. Used by permission.
More information at https://www.averyensemble.com/

This episode starts with a conversation with my mom, who has spent a lifetime quietly serving others and finding real joy in it. But for me, giving didn’t always bring peace — it often brought guilt, pressure, and anxiety. If service is supposed to make us happier, why can it sometimes feel so heavy? I open up about my own dysfunctional relationship with giving, how it was harming rather than helping, and what finally shifted. Learn the two major blocks that might be keeping you from experiencing the mental health benefits of kindness — and how to turn giving into a powerful, joyful tool for emotional healing.

00:00 – Welcome & Introduction
Meet my mom and the powerful strategy of service that didn’t work for me… until I tweaked it.

00:52 – My Mom’s Quiet Ministry of Visits
Stories of visiting lonely neighbors and why she chose to do it.

03:19 – What She Gained from Serving Others
The emotional reward of listening and connecting with the elderly.

04:42 – Quilting with Purpose: Stitching Hearts Project
How she became an area manager and the far-reaching impact of these humanitarian quilts.

07:30 – What Service Gives Her Back
The deep fulfillment from feeling connected and making a difference.

9:19 – When Service Becomes a Burden
How I internalized service as obligation, guilt, and pressure—and why it made me anxious.

10:58 – The Global Science of Kindness
Studies that show helping others increases happiness—across cultures and circumstances.

12:29 – Learning to Put My Oxygen Mask on First
Why self-care is foundational to being able to serve in a healthy way.

14:06 – The Power of Saying No
Illness taught me to respect my limits—and protect my body’s energy budget.

16:09 – Choice vs Obligation in Service
The treadmill mouse study that reveals the emotional toll of forced generosity.

17:26 – What If You Don’t Have to Serve?
Facing mortality helped me realize that service is a choice, not a duty.

17:54 – The Science of Wellbeing Assignment
How “7 Random Acts of Kindness” changed my relationship with giving.

19:31 – Finding Joy in Kindness—My Way
Serving from a place of health, desire, and creativity—how I finally felt the reward.

21:56 – Kindness Narrative: Making a Support Fund

For full episode, including resources mentioned, go to: https://www.calmyourcaveman.com/episodes/when-giving-backfires:-healing-the-anxiety-of-overgiving

Music:
J.S. Bach, Goldberg Variations, Transcribed for String Trio (excerpts). Performed by Avery Ensemble live 12/2/2017. Used by permission.
To see original performance go to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TELZsL_5W2c

Harmonia Artificioso-Ariosa, Partita No. 4 in E flat Major (excerpts). Performed by the Avery Ensemble, recorded 2017. Used by permission. To stream recording go to: https://music.apple.com/br/album/mozart-biber-creston-schoenfield/1373331850?l=en-GB

More information at https://www.averyensemble.com/

Learn how the strategy of negative visualization can help regulate negative emotions like anxiety and enhance appreciation for positive events. From childhood memories to life-threatening experiences, discover how visualizing worse outcomes can make current challenges more manageable and appreciations more profound. Join Dr. Twitchell as she explores this concept, known as the George Bailey effect, through personal anecdotes and psychological insights.

00:30 A Family Road Trip Story: It Could Have Been Worse

02:38 Negative Visualization as a Tested Anxiety Strategy

05:51 The George Bailey Effect

04:55 Personal Stories: How Negative Visualization Helps With Stress

13:03 How Negative Visualization Makes Your Highs Higher

16:29 Kindness Narrative: A Free Lunch

Join Dr. Twitchell in this episode as she shares personal experiences with imposter syndrome and offers insights on transforming stress responses to enhance performance. By changing perceptions of demands and focusing on attainable goals, she illustrates how to manage imposter syndrome and thrive under pressure.

00:30 Introduction and Overview
01:14 First Imposter Syndrome Scenario: The Ravel Trio
02:42 Second Imposter Syndrome Scenario: Portuguese Thesis Evaluation
04:32 Third Imposter Syndrome Scenario: Solo Piano Performance
06:07 Understanding Bad vs. Good Stress
08:50 Converting Bad Stress to Good Stress
10:44 Concluding the First Scenario: Share Imperfect Gifts
13:12 Concluding the Second Scenario: Celebrate Your Efforts
16:52 Concluding the Third Scenario: Enjoy the Fleeting Moment
19:11 Change Your Goals to Something in Your Control
23:31 Kindness Narrative: A Broken Car Engine

For full episode, including resources mentioned, go to: https://www.calmyourcaveman.com/episodes/overcoming-imposter-syndrome

Music:
J.S. Bach, Goldberg Variations, Transcribed for String Trio (excerpts). Performed by Avery Ensemble live 12/2/2017. Used by permission.
To see original performance go to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TELZsL_5W2c

Harmonia Artificioso-Ariosa, Partita No. 4 in E flat Major (excerpts). Performed by the Avery Ensemble, recorded 2017. Used by permission. To stream recording go to: https://music.apple.com/br/album/mozart-biber-creston-schoenfield/1373331850?l=en-GB

More information at https://www.averyensemble.com/

Dr. Twitchell delves into the complex topic of jealousy, a common source of anxiety for many. She discusses practical strategies she has used to process and move beyond jealous feelings, including therapeutic approaches, cognitive exercises, and proactive steps to address underlying fears. She explores the evolutionary basis of jealousy, its impact on relationships, and how to reframe it as a challenge to foster personal growth.

00:28 Introduction and Topic Overview

01:30 Personal Stories of Jealousy

08:20 Evolutionary Perspective on Jealousy

11:09 Steps to Manage and Overcome Jealousy : Curiosity

17:43 Treat Your Underlying Fears

19:57 Embracing Vulnerability

22:30 Focus On What’s Within Your Power

25:50 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

27:20 Kindness Narrative: Courtesy in a Grocery Store

For full show notes, including resources mentioned, go to https://www.calmyourcaveman.com

Music for this episode: J.S. Bach, Goldberg Variations, Transcribed for String Trio (excerpts). Performed by Avery Ensemble live 12/2/2017. Used by permission.
To see original performance go to: youtube
More information about the Avery Ensemble at averyensemble.com

Join Dr. Twitchell as she explores the surprising benefits of storytelling in managing anxiety. She delves into how narrating daily experiences helps process emotions, magnify positive experiences, and provide meaning to life’s challenges. This episode underscores the power of storytelling in creating order from chaos, improving well-being, and fostering connections.

00:30 Discovering Storytelling as Anxiety Management
01:06 The High Low Buffalo Routine
03:47 The Power of Storytelling in Daily Life
06:05 The Psychological Benefits of Storytelling
07:19 Transforming Lows into Redemption Stories
09:07 The Role of a Sympathetic Listener
13:28 The Importance of Storytelling for Meaning
14:11 Encouragement to Start Storytelling
16:27 Kindness Narrative: A Kind Russian Airline Agent

For full show notes, including resources mentioned, go to: https://www.calmyourcaveman.com/episodes/tell-your-story-for-anxiety-management-

Music for this episode: J.S. Bach, Goldberg Variations, Transcribed for String Trio (excerpts). Performed by Avery Ensemble live 12/2/2017. Used by permission.
To see original performance go to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TELZsL_5W2c
More information about the Avery Ensemble at https://www.averyensemble.com/

In this episode of Calm Your Caveman, Dr. Twitchell discusses how to cope when life feels overwhelming and the sky seems like it's falling. She shares personal experiences, including a story about a severe ocean threat to their home in Brazil, to emphasize how hyperfocus on an immediate problem can be beneficial. However, she also addresses what to do when the threats are out of our control. This involves an interview with her father, who shares his practical advice on how to manage large-scale issues by focusing on smaller, controllable actions within one's local community. The episode concludes with insights on the importance of small actions for maintaining hope and agency in challenging times.

00:30 Introduction to Overwhelming Problems
02:16 Hyperfocus on Solvable Threats: The Beach House Crisis
07:07 When Threats Are Not Solvable
08:23 Interview with Don Jarvis: Local Activism
17:48 Focusing On Your Sphere of Control: Impact on Anxiety
19:30 Finding Hope in Small Actions
23:10 Kindness Narrative: Help With a Triathlon

For full show notes, including resources mentioned, go to: https://www.calmyourcaveman.com

In this episode of 'Calm Your Caveman,' Dr. Twitchell delves into the intersection between religion and anxiety. The discussion highlights both the misuse of religion and the adaptive use of religious technologies, including reductions in loneliness, depression, and anxiety. Dr. Twitchell also shares personal anecdotes, illustrating how religious communities and rituals have provided crucial support during challenging times. The episode concludes by emphasizing the advantages of using religion and other powerful tools wisely to maximize their benefits for mental health.

00:30 Addressing the Misuse of Religion
01:51 Religion as a Psychological Technology
02:51 Impacts of Religion on Physical and Mental Health
05:40 Combating Loneliness Through Religion
07:30 Personal Experiences with Religious Community
12:26 Marriage and Religious Rituals
16:46 Conclusion: Utilizing Religion for Well-being
18:04 Kindness Narrative: A Gracious Professor

For full show notes, including resources mentioned, go to: calmyourcaveman.com